September 19, 2024

 

Who Will You Follow?

But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desire. – James 1:14

Nazi Germany was filled with Christians. In fact, 95 percent of the population were either Protestant or Catholic. They followed Hitler. They turned a blind eye to evil. They believed the propaganda. They followed evil rather than God.

Why do I bring this up? Because I see the same thing happening now in our country. Christians are following evil and trying to justify it by claiming to follow their Christian “values.” They claim they aren’t following Trump but rather what he stands for regarding policies and values.

Did the Christians who followed Hitler believe they were following Jesus? Did they justify turning a blind eye to evil because it would benefit them financially? Did they choose to walk away rather than stand up for what is right?

I can’t make excuses for lies. I especially can’t make excuses for lies that harm people who were created in God’s image. Haitians - who are here legally – shouldn’t be persecuted to advance one man’s political agenda. That’s just wrong.

I can’t refuse to listen to a man who has repeatedly said that if elected he will use our government to punish those who opposed him. He has said he will release from prison those who stormed the capitol. He has told Christians they only need to vote once more and then they’ll never have to vote again.

How can anyone not hear his words? This is not the media distorting the truth. These are things Trump has said repeatedly.

My next question is this: why? Are you afraid that your life will change if you follow the Bible and welcome foreigners? Are you watching your bank account instead of reading your Bible? Have you turned a hard heart toward the poor?

Blindly following someone who doesn’t follow Jesus will lead us down a path of evil. In many ways, it already has. There is just so much hatred in our country today. And it is being fueled by political rhetoric based on lies and fear mongering.

Are you going to be a part of that? Or are you going to follow Jesus?

July 10, 2023

 

Stop Gossiping

 

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. – James 1:26

 

She started her Facebook post with the words “I heard.” That was the telltale sign. She wasn’t passing on factual information. She was passing on something that may or may not be true. Her justification? It might be against her religious beliefs.

 

I could only shake my head and remove the post from my news feed. It’s not the first time this “devout” Christian has passed on something like this. She’s a huge gossip who never bothers to check her “facts” before posting something.

 

You will never convince her that this is wrong. I’ve tried. If pushed, she just explains that it’s her opinion. That she’s harming people, sometimes people she doesn’t even know, doesn’t faze her a bit. Her “values” are tied up falsehoods. And she wonders why so many people are turning from God.

 

We Christians don’t live by the same standards we require of others. Yes. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. I’m really not talking about that. It’s more a lofty, condescending attitude that we know better than anyone else.  How sad.

 

Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.

– Proverbs 10:18

 

She claims to love everyone. She tosses the words around like they are a given. And then she puffs up to proclaim judgement. It’s that hypocrisy nonbelievers keep talking about. Her talk of love belies her quick condemnation of anyone who disagrees with her views. Her knowledge of the Bible is skewed as she uses its words as weapons to slaughter rather than words to heal.

 

Maybe I am no different. How many times have I used words to harm rather than heal? Haven’t we all done so? As Christians, we are called to bring others toward Jesus with the light we shine into this dark world. That begins with paying attention to our words. Stop gossiping and start feeding people hope.

June 27, 2023

 

Focus On Jesus

 

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. – James 3:1

 

I respected him. He seemed called by God and someone who would always follow Jesus. Then he stumbled and became the human he always was. It was I who had placed him on an impossible pedestal.

 

Perhaps the truth is that he hadn’t changed. I just didn’t want to see him as he is and chose to view him as I desperately wanted him to be. Isn’t that how it works with our religious leaders? We need them to live righteous lives of truth and integrity. And when they don’t, it’s as though we ourselves have stumbled.

 

Recent months have been filled with disappointment. A pastor who vowed to remain United Methodist suddenly changing course and taking the big payday and, in his mind, the guaranteed job. The pastor who said he supported one thing and yet took the easy road of job security. The church leader who lied to sway votes. The council president who used political talking points to whip those who never check facts into a frenzy. And those who said none of it really mattered.

 

Hatred and failure to love everyone equally is alive and well in God’s church. We’re so busy using the Bible as a weapon that we neglect Jesus’ words about love. We’re so focused on winning the day that we ignore Paul’s warning not to cause conflict within the body of Christ.

 

James tells us that those of us who lead and teach in the church will be held to a higher standard. I understand why. We should know better. We should be well acquainted with God’s Words so that we don’t sin in our own words and actions. We don’t get a pass caused by ignorance.

 

I condemn myself for judging what’s not mine to judge. God will repay because He alone knows the heart. Selfish ambition and greed are sins. His wrath is bound to come. My heart cries for mercy, for conviction, for outward change of behavior. I don’t want people I once cared for to suffer greatly. I am thankful that God handles all of that – for them and for me.

 

My heart still struggles to grasp what I have witnessed. Some moments in time are directors for where we have been and where our course now heads. We are different. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s a warning for us all.

 

Be very careful of those who appear on a higher religious plane. Everyone stumbles. Stay focused on Jesus, who alone is perfect. He will never lie, never stumble, never cast His church aside for a bigger payday or a more powerful position. Hold tightly to Him. Worship Him. All praise and glory to Jesus Christ, our Lord!

August 21, 2019

Careless Words

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. – James 4:11

It was a casual comment. One of those meant – supposedly – to offer a suggestion. Hurt feelings. Allegedly. Some unnamed person or committee “should” have done things differently. Words said in a group of people who aren’t involved and have no knowledge of actual events.

Was it about gossip? Was it about concern? Only God truly knows. But one thing is certain: the words shouldn’t have been said.

The subject was immediately changed but the seeds of division were planted. This is how rumors and gossip get started. We offer public opinions on what might or might not be true. We judge situations that don’t involve us. We speak words when we should have remained silent.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a responsibility to guard our tongues and our attitudes. We should use our words to build others up. Why do we find it so difficult to stay in our lane and out of discussions that have nothing to do with us. Why do we insist on trying to destroy ourselves from within by spreading slander?

Careless words can cause harm far beyond what we could ever imagine. Choose your words carefully and, when in doubt, remain silent.

May 11, 2019

Faith Reveals Itself

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. – James 2:17

In that dance that happens when you first meet someone, we discovered that we had a mutual friend. It bonded us in an odd sort of way. We had something, or in this case someone, in common.

“She lives her faith more than anyone I have ever known,” the woman said. I nodded in agreement. It was a genuine compliment that revealed an incredible truth.

Our friend isn’t a flashy, in your face type of Christian. She doesn’t go around slamming others or pushing a political agenda. Instead, she practices kindness and mercy in all that she does. She can debate issues, and does so, with facts and Scripture references. It’s not about politics or “acceptable” answers. It’s about what the Bible truly says.

There are those who call her liberal. I suppose in some ways she is. I see Jesus in her. He was somewhat of a liberal Himself while He preached the gospel on this earth. He wasn’t motivated by money or political correctness. He didn’t care too much for man-made rules. He taught God’s Word. He told us to be kind and merciful, to forgive everyone and to love everyone too. Yes. Our mutual friend is a lot like Jesus.

Being Jesus on earth isn’t about condemning others for not meeting our standards. It isn’t about judging what we don’t know and have no business commenting on. It isn’t about gossiping and political rallies and plucking out Bible verses to further our own agendas. It’s about living the life God has called us to live in the best way we can. It’s about showing others Jesus. My friend does that by how she lives her life. Do you?

December 12, 2018

Faith Comes First

“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”

– Luke 3:8-9

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.

– James 2:18

They are good. They’re quick to point that out if anyone tries to tell them about Jesus. They don’t want to listen. They aren’t willing to hear.

In their minds, they are good people. “I’ll just take my chances,” is a popular response. It’s not about chances. If you believe in Jesus, believe He came and died for our sins and rose three days later, you are saved. If you don’t, you are headed to hell.

Sometimes we try to cover the truth with platitudes. Maybe if we surround it with nice things, we won’t have to deal with the black and white nature of sin. We don’t want to tell people we like, people who are basically good people, that Jesus is the only way to live.

Some people truly believe their deeds will save them. They just do. It’s not true but it gives them an excuse to continue on without ever really making a decision. They don’t want to turn their lives over to Jesus. They don’t want to hand Him control.

Others know all the answers. They’re saved. They love Jesus. They attend church. They tithe sometimes. But they aren’t quite willing to give up their sins. They’re forgiven so what does it matter? They want the security of Jesus, they want the reassurance that Heaven is in their future, but they also want to live however they choose in the hear and now.

Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe you know someone, or several someones, who fit into one of the other of those categories. Maybe one of those categories describes you.

John the Baptist was preaching about the Messiah. He was baptizing people with water. He was laying the way for what was to come. Some Jews thought they were good. Abraham was their father. They had no need for a Savior.

Yet, they did. God sent His Son and they missed it. They rejected Him and crucified Him. They were so busy with their rules, with knowing everything, that they missed what was truly important.

The same is true for those who claim a faith they don’t live. How is it possible to have true faith without wanting to change your life and please the One who gives us life? It isn’t. Because true faith brings change inside of us.

That’s what James was saying. Some people think being good, doing good, is all they need to be saved. They’ve got it all wrong. It is faith that saves us and, because of that faith, we want to do good to honor Jesus.

Life is hard. Do good. Be kind. But don’t ever forget that none of it matters if Jesus Christ isn’t in your heart.

October 16, 2018

Negative Commentary

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?

– James 4:11-12

He’s the new person in the room. He seems out of place as others show him around. He’s trying to be friendly. To him, apparently, being friendly means talking about his bosses in an ugly sort of way.

Do you know someone like him? There just always seems to be someone who never has anything good to say about someone else. They especially don’t like anyone in a position of authority at work. They have that “us” against “them” mentality that only leads to division.

That’s always seemed so sad to me. We see it in all areas of life. There are some pretty sad people who can only feel good about themselves if they’re putting someone else down. I’ve always wondered what made them so insecure. Have you ever considered that?

We are so filled with our opinions these days. I know. It sounds hypocritical coming from someone who writes an opinion column every day. But there is that line between expressing an opinion and seriously trying to hurt someone and destroy their reputation just to prove you can.

We see people use that excuse of “my opinion” every time they want to judge and spread lies. Certainly, it’s their right. I do believe in free speech. But just because it’s their right, doesn’t mean they should do it.

Not everything we think needs to be expressed with words to anyone else. Some things are best shared only with God. He’s pretty good at keeping secrets and giving excellent advice. Others aren’t always good at either.

As for those who share their opinions, do you believe their words? If someone says something ugly about someone you know, do you believe it? Do you let another person’s opinion cloud your own opinion of the person being discussed? Or, maybe, you think a little bit less of the one talking ugly about someone else?

We have endured so much finger-pointing and name calling in our country in recent years. I wonder sometimes when we forgot to be civil, to be kind, to be truthful. Because, honestly, truth has very little to do with the political rhetoric that comes from the mouths of so many Christians.

We have become obsessed with our own financial agendas. We condemn anyone who isn’t like us. We cling to what we think is ours. And we spread false statements that “sound” right just because we can.

Just like the new man on the job. He’s not winning any friends. And he’s not starting out with a good reputation. Because anyone who talks about someone else behind their back, especially when the comments are mean and hateful, will talk about you in exactly the same way. Count on it.

Learn to walk away, to change the subject, or to defend the person being slandered. You don’t have to be part of the problem and maybe, one person at a time, you can be part of the change.

September 27, 2018

Check Your Motives

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. – James 3:16

She talks tough. Curse words dot most sentences. Her laughter is a little too loud. She shoves her arrogance in your face. She’s hard as nails.

In her way of thinking, she’s got to put everyone else down in order to look good. Her co-workers despise her. You never know when she’ll lob the next zinger. The air around her is tense, poised for battle.

She is jealous of everyone. Selfish ambition fills her. She refuses to be a part of the team. She’s too focused on herself. She’s too busy “winning” the day to realize she’s losing the battle.

Do you know someone like her? You probably do. There always seems to be one like her to dirty up any environment. Her “wisdom” says it’s all about her and she doesn’t care who she hurts or what she destroys on her mission.

Maybe you’ve even been her before. Maybe you know what it’s like to win no matter the cost. Maybe you’ve felt the emptiness that comes after the triumphant win. Maybe you’ve gone around and around on that roller coaster, trying desperately to figure out why success doesn’t seem to mean as much as it used to mean.

One of those viral videos just came to mind. It was of a young man with cystic fibrosis scoring a touchdown, as both teams ran with and cheered him on. Don’t miss that. Both teams. I have no idea who won the game. Who cares? Because, really, they both won when they united to help a young man achieve a dream.

It’s amazing what can happen when we work together, isn’t it? It’s amazing what can happen when we think of someone else first, isn’t it? Then why does the world tell us it’s all about us?

Satan wants us to believe that. We get so caught up that we forget we’re in a spiritual battle every single day. It’s real, folks. Satan dangles the world before us and we snatch it, the allure seemingly more than we can withstand. He tells us what we deserve. He makes false promises and we believe him every time.

The only way to withstand the onslaught is with the strength of Jesus. The only way to know the truth is to seek His wisdom. Read His Word. Pray. Listen to the Holy Spirit. James also tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from you. But are you willing to resist?

Jealousy and selfish ambition will destroy every relationship you ever have, whether it’s work, family or friendship. Whenever you start demanding your “rights” or what you think you “deserve,” step back and do a heart check. None of us deserve God’s grace. None of us have the right to claim what ultimately belongs to Him.

And none of us have the right to put others down, to spread lies, to cause trouble for others in a worthless attempt to look better and, thus, feel better about ourselves. It’s just wrong. And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t. Because people always see the truth and you end up destroying yourself.

There are two types of wisdom: that wisdom that comes from the world and that wisdom that comes from God. Make sure you know which you’re following before you end up down a path you never planned to go.

September 25, 2018

Are You Wise?

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. – James 3:13

Are you wise? How do you know? Do you make good choices? Are you sure? There’s a difference about being wise in the world’s eyes and being wise in the eyes of Jesus.

Think about the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus didn’t teach a lot about common sense, did He? The rich are poor. Those who are persecuted are blessed. Those who mourn, are poor in spirit and are meek will all be blessed. Doesn’t sound too much like what the world would consider “wise” teaching, does it?

The world says it’s all about us. It doesn’t matter who we hurt. So what if someone else pays the price for our selfish ambition? Who cares about the cost so long as we get what we want?

Here’s what James says about this earthly wisdom:

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. – James 3:14:16

Ouch. We may convince ourselves that our motives are pure but God sees right through to our heart. The saddest thing is that the more we tell ourselves the lies, the more we believe it. Eventually we convince ourselves that we were right and that is dangerous. Something our pastor noted the other day.

So, what is good wisdom. Well, James talked about that too.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. – James 3:17

Let’s use a few words from my pastor. A wise person has no hypocrisy in him. No partiality. A wise person is willing to yield to what the Spirit says. A wise person is filled with mercy for others. A wise person reveals good “fruit” in his life. A wise person is peaceful.

That sure doesn’t sound like someone who would be respected these days, does it? Where’s the part about success and money and upbeat sermons? Where’s the part about more for me and less for everyone else? Where’s the prosperity talk? I don’t want to do for those who can’t do anything for me. Let them do for themselves. Isn’t that what we’re all supposed to do?

Uh, no. It’s not about us. It’s about Jesus. We as His church must model something different that the world. We must be content. We must be merciful and loving and kind.

Church has become a recreational activity we participate in when we’ve got nothing else to do. It’s an option. Except when we make God an option, we have denied Him. We have denied His Presence in our lives. We have chosen the world over Him.

Wisdom comes to those who ask. But when you ask, you must obey. Are you asking? Are you obeying? You can’t live as part of the world without denying Jesus. You have a choice to make. Will you choose Him?

September 19, 2018

Don’t Play Favorites

My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. – James 2:1

The air was filled with tension. Snippy comments broke the silence. One woman muttered obscenities under her breath. Another woman yelled. I shrunk into myself, trying to be as invisible as possible.

It all erupted later that day. Two women left for another workplace. Another woman was promoted to supervisor. Laughter filled the room.

The first supervisor was likely a good person. Her great sin? Playing favorites among the small staff. She created an environment where some always got the hard, sweaty jobs and her favorites always got the good jobs. There was no sharing of duties. There was no way to earn a better slot. And those who bore the weight of the hard work were tired of the situation.

None of us would have liked the situation either. No one wants to be used. It’s one thing to be a servant of Jesus. It’s something else to be treated unfairly.

But don’t we do the same thing sometimes? Don’t we assume others should be ready, willing and able to do whatever it is we need them to do, whenever we need them to do it? Sure, we do.

Consider my sweet friend who was able to be a stay at home mom. She talks about those who insist she’s got plenty of time to volunteer, to bake treats, to help out with their kids. Certainly, she does her part. She chairs a committee at church. She helps with the youth. But, as she explained one day, she didn’t choose to stay home so she could constantly do for others. She chose to spend that time with her children, to place her family first in this season of life. Others may get upset with her but I admire her determination to keep that time sacred.

A man I know has had a rough life, much of it because of poor choices. Several years ago he cleaned himself up and has really turned his life around. He’s quick to help anyone. He works whenever he has the opportunity. He volunteers at church. And, yet, there are those who still look down on him. They think more highly of those who are affluent than this man who has slowly rebuilt his life.

In this passage, James addresses that very thing. Don’t push aside the poor and give the rich the prime seats. Don’t think you’re better than someone else. Don’t look down on people who are different than you.

In other words, don’t play favorites. We will always have people in this life that we don’t really like. That’s okay. We aren’t called to like them. We are called to love them like Jesus loves them. We are called to be kind, gracious, good. Why is that so difficult for us?

Years ago a young receptionist at the company I worked for asked me why all my employees liked me when I was so mean to them. She was mortified that she’d voiced her thoughts. I just laughed. I explained that they liked me because I was fair. The written rules were applied evenly to everyone. Each employee had the opportunity to move up based on their efforts. And, I added, that’s really rare in the workplace.

It’s also really rare in life. We’re so busy trying to promote ourselves and those we like, that we miss an opportunity to reach out to someone else. We’re so focused on our own agenda that we miss the chance to learn and grow by knowing someone who maybe doesn’t see things exactly like we do.

We’re all in this life together. Let’s share it equally, with kindness and graciousness, surrounded by laughter. Life is hard enough without the extra burden of favoritism.

September 17, 2018

Words Can Heal or Destroy

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. – James 3:6

Who are you? What’s your name? How do you identify yourself? What do others call you?

Our pastor made a really interesting point on Sunday. James understood firsthand the dangers of condemning someone without cause. He knew what happened when others referred to someone with names that were really just lies. Think about all the names his brother was called. Consider the lies from the Pharisees. Yes. James understood the cost.

Condemnation is referring to someone by their problem or their sin and not their name, our pastor said. They are “liars,” “trash,” “stupid.” They are “drug addicts,” “homely,” “fat.”

We call people by what we see as their sin. And that, in turn, is how they come to see themselves.

Pastor Ryan Martin said there are two truths about sin. The first is that every sin we commit is the direct result of us believing a lie. The second is that all sin is the result of idolatry.

When we condemn someone with our words we tell them they aren’t worthy. They aren’t worthy of us and they aren’t worthy of God. And they start to believe those lies we spew at them. It’s a sick kind of game. Sin begets sin.

And it becomes like a god to us. We can make ourselves the god. We can make our sin – say vaping or gossiping – our god. It becomes more important than anything or anyone. It becomes more important than God.

There is a shame that comes with the harsh words others direct at us. We get down on ourselves. We forget how wonderful we are. We forget we were created in the image of God Almighty. We forget we are loved and chosen and special. We forget everything but the condemnation in the words directed toward us.

Words can create life or they can destroy it. What about your words? Do you talk bad about people? Do you try to turn the opinions of others against someone you don’t like? Do you build yourself up at the expense of others?

Or maybe you’re the person who always finds something good in others. Maybe you’re the one who gives a genuine, specific compliment to another person. Maybe you’re the one who refuses to spread, or even listen, to the ugliness some try to share.

Each day is filled with choices. Make your words be words of healing and hope.

September 5, 2018

Has Jesus Changed You?

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” – John 3:3

Nicodemus came to Jesus in the night. He was a Pharisee and we all know how the Pharisees viewed Jesus. Still, Nicodemus wanted to understand. How could someone already born be made new again?

Jesus went on to explain about how everyone must be born of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit. The gift that comes when we turn our lives over to Jesus. The gift that changes us from the inside out.

There are so many people who walk through their lives “knowing” Jesus. They live how they please. There’s no evidence of faith in their lives. Well, except for their Sunday morning piousness. But that’s more about show than it is about real faith.

It’s possible to know all about Jesus and still not really know Jesus. The demons know all about Jesus too. They’re still demons. They still don’t know Jesus as Lord and Savior. They still do evil.

What about you? How do people know you belong to Jesus? Is the evidence there in how you live your life? Are your words laced with kindness and honesty? Do your actions show you’re someone who cares, someone who grants mercy, someone who helps others in need?

Or is your faith all about the show? Maybe it’s more what you do than it is who you are. In the Deep South, what church you belong to is the first question newcomers face. It’s part of the fabric of life. It’s what makes us who we are.

What’s scary are how many people who take salvation for granted. They grow up in the church, passing each milestone with ease. They know how it’s done. They know what words to say. Whether they’re sprinkled or dunked, it’s more a right of passage than a genuine conversion.

I know. Shocking, isn’t it? I am amazed at how many people truly believe that baptism is what makes you a Christian. It isn’t. Faith, true faith, comes from within. It’s a heart condition. It’s something only God can see. But, as James notes, there should be evidence of your faith in how you live your life.

We are truly born again when our hearts change and become more like Jesus’ heart. We see people the way He did. We extend grace the way He did. We serve the way He did.

We also come to see ourselves for who we really are. We come to understand that we are lost without His blood. We truly worship Jesus for His sacrifice. We want to do good because we owe Him a debt we can never pay.

In other words, we change from the inside out. We become better people. What about you? Are you different because of Jesus? Do others see Him in you? Are you sure? Don’t wait until it’s too late to find out.

August 25, 2018

Put People First

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. – James 4:17

Sometimes you just do what you need to do. It’s rarely convenient. It’s always draining. Sometimes it’s costly. You do it anyway.

Yesterday was one of those days. I planned a quick hospital stop. It turned in to several hours. Unfortunately, I have experience with hospitals, doctors, hospice, end of life discussions. Sometimes you just don’t even know what questions to ask. My experience means I do. I was needed, so I stayed.

Then there was a need to take an elderly person to another town to visit his disabled daughter. Her mother will never go again and this dear man had a desperate desire to see his youngest child. For obvious reasons, the other children were reluctant to leave their dying mother. Of course, I drove him.

My day didn’t go as planned. Things that needed to be done, didn’t get done. I can’t really say I made a choice but, I guess, I obviously did. I hope I always choose people first.

The hospital room was a gathering of those who love and care. The absence of another child was the unspoken hurt. He was busy. How often have I seen that? Excuses thrown out because one person chooses to let others carry their load. How can anyone make that choice?

Again and again it happens. We get so caught up in ourselves, our own lives, our own desires, that we miss an opportunity to put people first. Our loved ones suffer because we don’t want the inconvenience a sudden illness brings. But isn’t that what family is all about? Isn’t that what true friendship really is?

I guess I’m of the age and experience that I just don’t want to hear the excuses. I’ve carried a load that I should never have borne alone. I have known the deep fatigue that comes when your only desire is to get through another day bearing responsibilities that threaten to overwhelm you. I know the anguish of crying out to God for help, for relief, for strength, when your shattered heart is simply too weary to heal.

Yesterday I watched a hospital case manager try to be perky in a room filled with death. I have witnessed a doctor refuse to meet with more than two family members. I have watched a family keep vigil while doctors guessed and make predictions that they should never have made.

I wonder where kindness and compassion went? It was certainly evident in the tears of a nurse who explained she’d walked their path before. It was evident in a younger nurse who was quick to explain her actions and respond to questions. It was evident in the honest answers from a doctor who’d been called in to consult.

But most of the time it simply wasn’t there. One child remarked that she was horribly offended by the party atmosphere some visitors displayed. Oh, how I understood that. A death vigil is no place for loud conversations or visiting. It grates on those who truly care. It hurts to know that others might be family or friends but their careless words show their emotions never go deeper than the surface.

Some days we are called to be Jesus to someone who is desperately hurting. Some days we are called to be inconvenienced to help someone else. Some days we are called to sit quietly and grieve with a hurting family. Don’t miss your chance. Don’t make an excuse. Just show up. Putting people first is always the right choice.

August 16, 2018

Who Do You Talk About?

Therefore confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16

Who have you talked about today? Oh, come on. Be honest. It’s only between you and God and He knows the truth anyway.

We love to talk about people, don’t we? We love to pass on the “news” and hear all the details that are really none of our business. Does it make us feel better about ourselves? Does it help us avoid focusing on our own problems?

We’re all guilty. We are. We’d rather talk about someone than spend time in prayer about them and for them. In fact, oftentimes gossip masquerades as a “prayer request.” It’s a common way of talking about others in a small-group church gathering. Stop it! God knows the details so you don’t have to repeat them. Simply ask your group to pray for someone and leave it at that.

We often consider ourselves justified. We get angry at someone and we go around telling “our side” to anyone and everyone who will listen. We stir up trouble. We tear apart relationships. We wallow in sin.

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. – James 4:11

We like to justify ourselves, don’t we? We claim a faith we don’t live but we don’t have a clue we aren’t living it. We stay so focused on fixing others, judging them, telling others about their “sins” that we miss our own sins.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

– James 1:26

What would happen if Christians started praying for people instead of talking about them? How would your life change, how would your heart change, if every time you thought badly of someone you prayed for them instead? How would your words change if you stopped sharing anything except what would build someone else up? How would our world change if we stopped fighting about our differences and prayed for unity?

Some of the most hateful people I know are “prayerful” Christians. They are so busy pointing fingers and commenting on the flaws of others that they miss the point. They miss Jesus’ words about loving others. Or, if they “heard” them, they mistakenly think He meant to love only people exactly like themselves.

Our pastor reminded us Sunday that John Wesley had three rules of faith. The first was to do no harm. That means never sharing a falsehood about someone else. It means not airing your personal grievances about someone to everyone who will listen. It means learning to control your loose tongue.

The second rule was to do good. If someone harms you, treat them with kindness. If you can help someone who can never repay you, do so with a smile and with gracious words. Go the extra step. Be kind. Be merciful.

And abide in fellowship with God. In all things and at all times, seek Him. Words can never be recovered once they are spoken. They carry a lasting impact long after the fuss has disappeared. They destroy far more than we realize.

Pray for people. Don’t talk about it. Just go into a quiet room and pray. Focus on fixing yourself and trust God with the outcome of all the rest.

July 19, 2018

Focus on Jesus

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. – James 1:12

Some seasons of life are just hard. It might be a wayward child, a divorce, a job loss, an unexpected illness. It could be a wreck, a fire, a season of unexpected bills. It could be the death of someone you love. The storm crashes against us again and again and, some days, our faith seems so weak.

It’s not about whether you will face a storm. We all do. It’s about whether you have prepared your heart for its inevitability.

The Bible tells us to grow our roots deep in faith so that we can withstand life’s trials. Some take heed and do just that. Others merely skate along, with a naïve certainty that they can handle anything. They believe that really bad things only happen to others. They assume a strength that has never been tested.

Until it happens. Then you learn that waiting room chairs are hard and the hours endless while a loved one fights for her life in ICU. You learn the treasure of friends who just let you cry without trying to “fix” what only God can repair. You learn the difference between a necessity and a need. You learn the miracle of small steps forward, an extended hand, friends who show up and help without being asked.

And you learn empathy and grace. You learn that you can do everything right and still have your world fall apart without notice. You learn that nothing on this earth is certain and that our only true anchor is Christ.

You come to understand the camaraderie of strangers bound together by crisis. You learn medical terms and rehab techniques and how to find and accept specialized help. And you learn that pride has no place when you are in desperate need of a kind word or a flicker of hope.

There is no place as lonely as an ICU waiting room in the middle of the night. There is no place as lonely as the first moments, the first hours, in a house void of someone who will never come home again. There is no place as lonely as the days of transition between what was and what now is.

You learn the blessing of presence that some gift so generously. You learn the blessing of faith as long-ago memorized verses come to mind. You learn the truth that fertilized hope will carry you when the darkness threatens to overwhelm you.

You persevere, taking one step and then another, because you really have no choice. People say you are strong but the truth isn’t so pretty. There is nothing to do but go forward because life doesn’t pause for broken hearts, destroyed lives, shattered dreams.

You focus your eyes on Jesus, your anchor in what seems to be the never-ending storm. The world tells you to move on, to forget, to get over the past. Your heart wishes it was that easy. You take another step toward Jesus, toward His patience and compassion.

And one day your heart feels a little lighter. Your grief remains. What was will never be again. But you feel His Presence in a way you never felt before. You smile up at Jesus and take another step toward home.

July 18, 2018

Don’t Wait for Tomorrow

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

– James 4:13-15

He’s not the sort of man you expect to see rushed to ICU. He’s young, healthy, active. He’s a man of deep faith. A man with a wife and kids and a job. Someone who volunteers and repeatedly gives of himself to others.

An infection. That’s the diagnosis. The brain bleed stopped on its own. He should have a full recovery. It was a very scary night for his family. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen. But they do. Every single day, they do.

We make plans. We love to make plans. It might be something as simple as planning to go to work or to the store. Maybe you’re planning to watch television or mow the lawn. We’ve always got something planned. Until the unthinkable happens.

His wife noted that 24 hours before she never would have expected to be sitting in ICU, not knowing if her very sick husband would be okay. That’s the thing about life. Sometimes it hits you with a wave that will almost sink you, until you remember that Jesus controls the storm.

I mentioned this man’s deep faith. It’s a strength and a comfort. Because if his life had ended – and we praise God that it didn’t – we know goodbye would only have been temporary. It would hurt, especially for his family, but there would be some comfort in knowing where he was.

Sometimes people put off their faith decision. They think they’ve got time. We all think we’ve got time. We’ve got plenty of time to take that trip, make that call, play with the children. Until we don’t.

A sweet friend once said her cancer diagnosis was one of the greatest gifts God ever gave to her. The reason? It made her let go of all the superficial things she thought was important and focus on what truly was important. Her relationship with God grew strong and deep. It wasn’t about doing what was expected – church attendance and tithing – but about her heart and reaching the lost.

Are you lost? If today were your last day on earth, do you know where you’d go? Because one day when you aren’t really expecting it, you’ll take your last breath. It doesn’t matter if you’re 17 or 80. No one really expects to die until we do.

Don’t wait to know Jesus. He’s pretty awesome and He’s right there waiting to save your soul. All you have to do is ask.

July 14, 2018

Double Standards Anyone?

The LORD detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him.

– Proverbs 20:23

Come to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

– James 4:8

Okay, let’s all get our excuses out. “Everybody else does it.” “Well, so-and-so did it!” “I was just going along with everyone else.” “Well, it’s not against the law.” “I can handle it.”

Did you think of a few more? I’m sure you probably did. When it comes to making excuses for our actions, attitudes and words, we’re quick to justify ourselves.

Except there is no justification for doing something we know is wrong, no matter how many people do the same thing. There also is no justification for judging two people by two different standards.

We judge people we don’t know based on standards we don’t uphold. We don’t see it that way, of course. We’re too high up in our opinions to actually try and listen and understand another point of view. We shut their voices out. We’re disgusted by their views. We’re so busy being “right” that we can’t see how wrong we are.

Do you want to start a fight on Facebook? Just mention President Trump’s past marital indiscretions. The defense that comes from good Christians? Well, look at Bill Clinton.

Indeed, let’s look. Does one person’s bad behavior justify the bad behavior of another person? No. It doesn’t. Nor does it justify the sad fact that people who condemned Clinton – understandably – now make excuses for Trump. It’s called a double standard.

We’ve used it for years in politics and in social circles. Someone who is poor and an alcoholic is called every kind of name. No compassion is offered at all. Someone who is rich and an alcoholic gets offered sympathy and rehab and a hush-hush about it. News flash: An alcoholic is an alcoholic no matter how much money is involved.

It’s why for so long children in middle-class and upper-class homes were over looked when it came to abuse and neglect. We assumed it couldn’t happen in “good” neighborhoods like our own. We judged based on economics and appearance rather than fact and heart.

We do the same to justify our own behavior. Everyone fudges on their expense accounts, so what’s the big deal? Well, it was just a little white lie to make someone look good. It’s a cut-throat world and you’ve got to “get” someone before they do the same to you. My child has worked hard and deserves to be on the team, in the performance, or in the group. Besides, I give a lot of money to your organization. That can go away, you know.

Does any of this sound familiar? You’d be furious at anyone who did these things to you. Why do you think it’s okay to do them to someone else? Where did we ever get the idea that it was okay to judge with a double standard? Certainly not from God.

June 16, 2018

What Are You Teaching?

“What is it you want?” he asked.

She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” – Matthew 20:21

The mother of James and John wanted what all parents want for their children. She wanted her sons to be in positions of power and honor when Jesus gained His kingdom. She wanted her sons to be first over the other disciples and all other followers of Jesus.

She really didn’t know what she was asking. Jesus pointed that out. Besides, positions in heaven are determined by God the Father. It doesn’t stop us from trying to get ahead though, does it?

You don’t have to be a parent to want the children you care about to succeed and excel at all they do. You’ll do anything to position them in the right place, with the right people, with the right resources for high achievement.

We teach them that they are worthy of the best. We tell them that they deserve success. And we show them that if they’ll just go along, we’ll make sure they get it served up for them on a silver platter.

Did anyone sputter over that? All defensive parents please raise your hand. Now, go ahead and remind me that I don’t have children and I don’t know how much you love your children. I just don’t understand.

When you’re done, I will remind you that Jesus tells us to serve others rather than be served. I will remind you that in God’s kingdom, the first will be last and the last will be first. And I will remind you that sometimes the worst thing you can do for anyone is carry them rather than have them stand on their own and learn how to live a righteous life.

There was a Facebook thing the other day that said something like this: Discipline your children and spoil your grandchildren. Spoil your children and raise your grandchildren. There’s a great deal of truth in that.

There’s a huge difference between helping someone and enabling them. People of all ages must learn that actions have consequences. It’s the only way anyone learns to make wise choices.

But we don’t want those we care about, especially the children in our lives, to ever suffer the consequences of their bad choices. Especially when the consequences are severe. We want to protect them from the bad. That’s natural. But when we do that we teach them something that isn’t the reality of life. Are we then truly surprised when they fail adulthood?

Parents are meant to guide and protect their children from harm. That doesn’t mean do everything for them and keep them from ever having to suffer for bad choices. We are raising children who feel entitled. I know. Not all children. Not your children. But are you sure?

I have watched friends do without basics so their children can have the latest phone, shoes and clothing. I have watched friends work second and third jobs to provide luxuries, while their children sit at home and play games. The kids are oblivious to the sacrifices their parents are making. Or, maybe, they just don’t care.

James and John’s mother only wanted the best for her sons. She didn’t understand the price they would pay. Jesus did. Do you understand the price your children will pay if you don’t teach them and guide them through childhood, refusing to save them from everything or providing you can’t afford and they really don’t need?

Kids are smart and observant and quick to learn. But it’s up to us to teach them the right way to live.