October 25, 2024

          Death Strikes Suddenly

Jesus wept. – John 11:35

“It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it’s what you leave behind you when you go.”

Those words from the song Three Wooden Crosses have echoed in my mind these past few days. James Smith was a friend, a former boss, a really good, kind and compassionate man. He was devoted to his wife, his children and grandchildren. He didn’t talk a lot about his faith. He simply lived it.

How does a man so filled with life suddenly move to heaven with no warning? When I got that phone call, I kept telling the caller that she had to be wrong. Not James. Surely not James.

Those of us privileged to know him are stunned. Heartbroken. Grief-stricken. And, yet, all the words we’re using to describe him echo the same sentiments. His legacy, which reaches far beyond his family, will live forever.

If you needed someone to laugh with you, James was right there. If you needed a defender, he was the first to step up. If you needed a sounding board, he had two ears that were always available to listen.

His priorities were right in line with his values. I’m not sure how many performances of Nutcracker he sat through over the years. Or how many swim meets he attended. Add class activities and beach fun. He was present in the lives of his grandchildren and he was just as excited for the last event as for the first one.

He rocked babies and gave away brides. He mourned his Daddy and took care of his Mama. He was someone you could count on. His extended family depended on him and he always showed up.

Was he perfect? No. None of us are. But he had his priorities in the right order. He loved Jesus and he loved Barbara, his wife of 44 years. He loved his family and friends.

I look around today and see people lusting after tomorrow with a gaze that never sees today. I see hearts that judge people based on possessions, while neglecting the seeds that grow into tomorrow.

James planted seeds. He planted seeds of kindness, integrity, compassion, honesty. He fertilized us all with hope and laughter. And the gift of his presence.

The coming days, weeks and years will be hard, especially for his family. There’s the new grandbaby he’ll never hold. And the graduation he won’t see. And let’s not forget the Nutcracker ballet and the swim meets and all the other things he will miss. He leaves a large void that none of us can fill.

But Jesus. Well, Jesus wept. And then He stepped up to fill that void as only He can.

September 12, 2024

                                   Don’t Wait

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

-- 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Death is everywhere. A woman lost her husband to a sudden illness. Parents grieve for a young man gone too soon. Teammates, friends and family members walk around in shock. We are so unprepared.

Yet, why are we so shocked? Death comes to all of us. It’s the one guarantee of this life. We don’t know when. We don’t know how. But death will one day knock on our door and demand its price.

Are you ready? Do you know Jesus? He’s the One who defeated death. When death arrives, it will be too late to decide.

The Apostle Paul told the Thessalonians not to grieve the way those who don’t know Jesus grieve. While goodbyes are painful, we have the hope and reassurance that the goodbye isn’t forever. We’ll see those we love, those who know Jesus, again one day.

And there it is. Those who know Jesus. It’s not enough to be a good person. It doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or how much property you own. It doesn’t even matter how much your family loves you. All that matters in that moment of death is whether you know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

“I’ll take my chances.” How many times have I heard somebody say those words?

“He (or she) was such a good person. I’m sure he’s in heaven.”

“He attended church regularly. I never saw him read the Bible or even participate in a Bible study but I’m sure he was good. He went to church after all.”

News Flash: Attending church doesn’t punch your card to heaven. Nor does being a good person. And rolling the dice on your chances is a sure ticket down below.

The only question that matters is whether you love Jesus. Have you accepted Him as Lord and Savior? Have you accepted His gift of salvation? Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God who came to earth, lived a perfect life, died a horrific death on the cross, and is now raised from the dead and seated at God’s right hand? Don’t wait until your day is done to examine your heart.

And don’t wait until it’s too late to have hard conversations with the people you love. They may not hear you. They may brush aside your questions and your prayers. That’s their right. But at least try.

The only way through unbearable grief is knowing that our separation is only temporary. Don’t wait until death calls your name or the name of someone you love.

August 24,2024

 Do You Know Jesus

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted,

He saves those crushed in spirit.

– Psalm 34:18

He was only 14. Today his family and friends will gather in the high school gym to celebrate his life. It makes no sense. Death doesn’t always make sense.

It was a normal school day. He and the rest of the football team lifted weights inside and then headed outside. He suffered a “medical emergency” within minutes.

One day we’ll know what happened. One day we’ll understand. But right now we wonder how a seemingly healthy young athlete could simply die.

We’ve cheered him on through more basketball games than I can count. Our grandson is the same age and was on the same teams. Junior high games. Rec ball games. Travel ball games. We watched him play earlier this month.

Our only consolation is that he knew Jesus. This separation is not the final goodbye. We’ll see him again. I am thankful for his faith. I am thankful for the promises of Jesus.

So I turn to you and ask: Do you know Jesus? Have you accepted Him as Lord and Savior? It’s not about knowing the right words to say when someone asks. It’s a heart thing. Has Jesus changed your heart? Do your words and actions reflect Him?

No one expected a 14-year-old boy to die that day. But he did. Don’t assume you’ve got time. One day it’ll all be over. So I’ll ask you again: Do you know Jesus?

February 17, 2022

 

A Hard Journey

 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21:4

 

A sweet friend watches as her mother’s life slowly fades. She sees the signs and fights for answers, miracles, another way. She knows God is in control and her mother’s life is in His hands. But it’s still hard to let go and trust His infinite wisdom when the result will break her heart.

 

 We don’t know the day or time that death will arrive; only that it will. I want to ease my friend’s pain and insist that she’s wrong. I can’t. I’ve walked the path that she’s now on and, honestly, it’s devastating. There’s nothing and no one who can prepare you for the finality of death.

 

I know someone reading this wants to remind me that because of Jesus, death really isn’t final for those who believe. I know that. So does she. It’s something to cling to when death has come and dealt its blow. But, still, there is pain. Always, there is pain.

 

Perhaps it’s better not to know the day and the hour. Perhaps it’s easier to pretend death will never come. But how can we do that when death is all around us? How can we ignore what is right in front of us?

 

Death comes in a myriad of ways. Car accidents, heart attacks, cancer, age and disease. The list never ends. We predict and we prepare only to learn that we never really understood how unpredictable our days really are.

 

We always think we’ve got more time. We truly believe tomorrow will come for us and those we love. Until one day it doesn’t. Do you know Jesus? Is He Lord of your life or are you merely going through the motions of faith? One day it will be too late to decide.

 

There’s something special about watching someone you love take their final breath on this earth and knowing they have opened their eyes in Heaven. As hard as it is, there’s also a peace and realization of what’s truly important.

September 1, 2021

 

What’s Your Excuse?

 

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. – Proverbs 14:12

 

It’s been a sad week. A sad mon Ph really. So many people I know have loved ones fighting for their lives. Others are deep in grief for someone gone too soon. The reason? Covid. That’s the simple answer. The rest of the answer is way more complicated.

 

Every person that I know who is sick or dead refused to get the vaccination. Every single one. They had a choice and they said no. Those who are alive are fighting to regain strength and abilities lost during the long hospital stay. They will never be fully okay. Others are dead. Gone. Leaving behind husbands and wives and children.

 

I struggle to understand their refusal. I listen to the excuses from those who have yet to be diagnosed and I am astounded at their answers. The shot implants a chip. It hasn’t been fully approved. It decreases your immune system and you have health issues. It makes you spread the virus. Covid isn’t real, just manufactured by the government. I was in the military and had to take vaccines so now I refuse to take any vaccine. Need I go on?

 

Most of us have always taken vaccines. They were required before we started school. We take the flu vaccine and the shingles vaccine. It’s part of life that helps keep us healthy. But suddenly we’re finding some who are adamant that they have a “right” to not take a vaccine. They have a “right” to infect whoever they want, to get sick and overwhelm the hospitals and to leave their families grief-stricken.

 

Your “freedom” to choose comes with consequences that go far beyond your choice. It means people who need surgery can’t get it because there are no hospital beds. It means someone who has a heart attack or accident could be sent hundreds of miles away to a hospital with a vacant bed. It means that healthcare workers are overwhelmed and exhausted with no end in sight. It means all of us are back to wearing masks because you refused to do your part.

 

I struggle not to become hard-hearted toward those who are so busy being right until it happens to them. Then it’s too late. Then, if they live, they know that Covid is real. Then, if they die, they leave family and friends behind. Surely a vaccine was better than a coffin.

 

Lord, please, open their eyes before it’s too late. Please soften my heart to those who are creating such sadness.

March 13, 2019

Be Jesus Where You Can

What is wrong cannot be made right.

What is missing cannot be recovered.

-- Ecclesiastes 1:15 (NLT)

We’re accustomed to storms here in Alabama. They brew up, sometimes quickly, and strike at random against those who are unfortunate enough to be in their path.

It was just another day. Storms stirred up. Meteorologists sounded the alarm, again and again and again. Sirens and weather radios and alerts. The air was filled with sound as the winds picked up. The tornado made its entrance, ripping apart homes and businesses and anything else in its path. An E-4 the weather service would say later. Twenty-three people died. Numerous others injured. People racked with sorrow and shock, clinging to what was no longer there.

Their lives will never be the same. And it isn’t only because of those who died. It isn’t because of the things that are gone. It’s because they have known great fear and seen firsthand the futility of building a life on what can vanish in an instant.

We store up for ourselves treasures. We focus and judge and pretend we understand life. Really? We don’t have a clue.

Love God and love people. Don’t wait for a better day or more time. Do good where you can. Stop trying to figure out if someone is worthy or not. Simple love them and do what you can. Show kindness and compassion. Lend a helping hand. Be generous. Life is short. And fleeting. Look into your heart and live with it open wide. Be Jesus where you can.

January 6, 2018

Draw Others to Christ

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. – Philippians 1:20

Paul didn’t write these words from inside a cushy house. He wasn’t being waited on by servants or enjoying luxuries without end. Paul was sitting in a jail, uncertain when his life might end.

There’s something about facing death that puts everything into perspective. Suddenly, it’s not about us. Our faith either makes us strong enough to endure whatever comes or is so shallow that the doubts turn us angry and bitter.

Have you ever witnessed someone flattened by sudden illness? It becomes a true test of faith, doesn’t it? It’s just so easy to sing Jesus’ praises while life is going good. We are happy and content and our faith is strong and sure.

Then something awful happens. The test results show cancer. The shallow breathing reveals a devastating heart condition. The slurred speech and clumsiness signal a life-changing stroke.

It is in those darkest moments when our true faith emerges. Circumstances either cast us adrift, causing us to flounder and forget our anchor, or they draw us toward the only One who can strengthen us and carry us through the journey.

Have you ever watched someone slammed with the unexpected death of a loved one? They either turn angry and bitter, blaming God for their loss, or they lean into the comfort only He can provide. One path brings life while the other path leads to destruction.

Our testimonies don’t really lie in the good days of life. Sure, people are watching and we are witnessing whether we are aware of it or not. People see our faith, how we live and behave in the every day ordinariness, and they see us as either people of God or hypocrites masquerading as Christians.

But it is in the valley, in those places of deep darkness, that people really come to understand who Jesus really is. It is when we cling to the cross that they understand God isn’t merely about the good times.

Life really isn’t about how many times we attend worship services, though that matters. It isn’t about how often we check that Christian box or whether we volunteer and tithe. It’s about what we show people when darkness threatens the light of Christ in our own lives.

We never know how we’ll react in devastating circumstances until it happens to us. We don’t really understand the strength Christ offers until His strength is all we have to get us through another day.

Paul was facing the worst of circumstances and what he wanted above all else was that his life exalt Christ. He wanted others to know Jesus through his words and actions, no matter the circumstances.

What about you? What do you want people to remember about you when your life comes to an end? Do you think they’ll remark about how stylishly you dressed or how much stuff you owned? Or will they see you as someone who loved Jesus and lived for Him in all you said and did?

We only have one life to live before we head home for eternity with Jesus. No matter your circumstances, let your life draw others to Him.

January 5, 2018

Spend Time Wisely

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12

We think we’ve got all the time in the world, don’t we? That little cliché rests deep in our hearts. We’re certain we can procrastinate, put off, wait another day for whatever it is we know we should do.

Then one day, sometimes without warning, everything changes. Sudden death, illness, divorce, job loss. The list could go on and on. But there is one thing they all have in common: You and the life you imagined have changed forever.

Have you ever known someone who retired and then, within just a few months, was dead? All their life they’d dreamed about retirement. They were going to sleep late, lounge in the recliner, watch endless TV. It was going to be the perfect life. They just never expected death to come so quickly.

Or what about the man who worked hard year after year so that one day he could retire and travel tirelessly with his wife? It was going to be the perfect life. Except that in his relentless pursuit of the future, he put off medical checkups in the present. By the time the doctor found the cancer, it has spread. Stage IV, they called it. He won’t live long enough to take all those trips he postponed.

We tell ourselves we’ll play with our kids or grandkids “one day.” We promise to call, to write, to visit “one day.” We’re going to volunteer at the food pantry “one day.” We’re going to read the Bible all the way through “one day.” Do you see a pattern here?

None of us are promised anything beyond this moment. Yet we live our lives as though we’ve got forever to get around to doing what we’d always intended to do. Why is that?

We are a people who like to procrastinate. We settle down into our comfortable lives of today and dream about a tomorrow that may never come. We put off living until it’s too late. Then we look back and wonder what took us so long to realize what really mattered.

People matter. Giving matters. Helping others without expectation of anything in return matters. Sitting there watching mindless television doesn’t really matter. Playing video games doesn’t really matter.

We’ve got our lives so messed up sometimes. We neglect what energizes us – time with God, sleep, giving back – and focus on what drains us – gossip, drinking, gadgets.

It’s not that zoning out in front of the TV is all bad. Nor is playing video games or any number of other escapist activities. It’s when those things consume us to the point that we neglect what matters most that we need to step back and remember how fleeting life really can be.

Each of us has the same number of hours each day. How are you spending yours? Are you moving forward, giving back, spending quality time with those you love? Or are you turned within, just trying to get through the days while you wait for a perfect tomorrow?

Don’t wait. Take that trip. Play with your kids. Serve others for Christ. We don’t know how long our journey home will take so make every day count.

September 12, 2018

God Sustains Us

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

– Isaiah 46:4

Some seasons are just hard. Some days seem to never end. Some times life seems so meaningless. Some hours we struggle to breath. And then it gets better.

I look around and see so much suffering and heartache. As I write this, coastal areas in South Carolina and North Carolina are evacuating. A catastrophic hurricane is headed toward those beautiful states. I know what’s coming. I’ve been where they are. High winds. Flooding. Buildings destroyed. Roads wiped away. And power out for a long time. I pray for those in harms way. And I pray for those first responders who are already there and the ones who will soon be heading into the aftermath.

We are blessed that way. Those who go toward disaster are amazing people. In my own community, there are groups specially trained in disaster relief. They can cook for the masses. They can cut up downed trees. They can rip out wet carpet and wipe down mold from walls. They can rebuild. And they can give hugs, offer prayers, and wipe tears. They go where they’re needed.

I watch a sweet friend struggle through the days that follow sudden death. Her husband was too young to die. He was supposed to be okay. He’s supposed to be at home with her and their kids. I know. He’s in heaven and having a joyous time. But she’s here and it hurts. The emptiness never really goes away. And none of us can really help her. We can love her. We can send cards and offer hugs. But we can’t erase the pain that rests in her broken heart.

And yet her faith is amazing. She clings tightly to Jesus, showing all of us what it means to let Him carry you when you are too overwhelmed to take another step. She continues to reach out to others. She gives of herself to ministries they supported. She is an example of goodness. We are blessed to be part of her journey.

It’s just so easy to focus on the bad. It’s easy to forget that while there are some awful things happening right now, there are also some pretty amazing things happening too. And while there are some pretty awful people around, there are some pretty amazing people around too.

Focus on what’s good and right. That’s what the Bible tells us. We have a choice to think about good things or to think about the bad. Choose the good and watch how it multiplies.

A friend asked me yesterday if I was worried about something I face. Honestly? No. Do you know why? Because Jesus was right when He said that no amount of worrying can or will add another day to my life. I’m not in control. God is. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. Worrying won’t change it. But worrying would steal the peace I have today.

I have always loved this verse from Isaiah. When times get tough and I’m not sure I can face the days ahead, I remember that God made me. I belong to Him. And He will help me and sustain me. He will carry me when I am too weak to take another step. And He will love me no matter what.

That’s the hope I cling to when I am overwhelmed. I pray it’s the hope the folks evacuating from the hurricane will cling to as well. No amount of worrying will change what’s to come. We can only pray for strength to handle the aftermath. And we can look around and find joy in the helping hands God sends to carry us when times are tough.

August 25, 2018

Put People First

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. – James 4:17

Sometimes you just do what you need to do. It’s rarely convenient. It’s always draining. Sometimes it’s costly. You do it anyway.

Yesterday was one of those days. I planned a quick hospital stop. It turned in to several hours. Unfortunately, I have experience with hospitals, doctors, hospice, end of life discussions. Sometimes you just don’t even know what questions to ask. My experience means I do. I was needed, so I stayed.

Then there was a need to take an elderly person to another town to visit his disabled daughter. Her mother will never go again and this dear man had a desperate desire to see his youngest child. For obvious reasons, the other children were reluctant to leave their dying mother. Of course, I drove him.

My day didn’t go as planned. Things that needed to be done, didn’t get done. I can’t really say I made a choice but, I guess, I obviously did. I hope I always choose people first.

The hospital room was a gathering of those who love and care. The absence of another child was the unspoken hurt. He was busy. How often have I seen that? Excuses thrown out because one person chooses to let others carry their load. How can anyone make that choice?

Again and again it happens. We get so caught up in ourselves, our own lives, our own desires, that we miss an opportunity to put people first. Our loved ones suffer because we don’t want the inconvenience a sudden illness brings. But isn’t that what family is all about? Isn’t that what true friendship really is?

I guess I’m of the age and experience that I just don’t want to hear the excuses. I’ve carried a load that I should never have borne alone. I have known the deep fatigue that comes when your only desire is to get through another day bearing responsibilities that threaten to overwhelm you. I know the anguish of crying out to God for help, for relief, for strength, when your shattered heart is simply too weary to heal.

Yesterday I watched a hospital case manager try to be perky in a room filled with death. I have witnessed a doctor refuse to meet with more than two family members. I have watched a family keep vigil while doctors guessed and make predictions that they should never have made.

I wonder where kindness and compassion went? It was certainly evident in the tears of a nurse who explained she’d walked their path before. It was evident in a younger nurse who was quick to explain her actions and respond to questions. It was evident in the honest answers from a doctor who’d been called in to consult.

But most of the time it simply wasn’t there. One child remarked that she was horribly offended by the party atmosphere some visitors displayed. Oh, how I understood that. A death vigil is no place for loud conversations or visiting. It grates on those who truly care. It hurts to know that others might be family or friends but their careless words show their emotions never go deeper than the surface.

Some days we are called to be Jesus to someone who is desperately hurting. Some days we are called to be inconvenienced to help someone else. Some days we are called to sit quietly and grieve with a hurting family. Don’t miss your chance. Don’t make an excuse. Just show up. Putting people first is always the right choice.

August 23, 2018

Make Your Wishes Known

“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

– Revelation 21:4

No more death. No more tears. No more shattered hearts. Oh, I am so looking forward to that day!

Some phone calls you just don’t want to receive. “ICU.” “In really bad shape.” “Not sure if she’ll make it.” “I knew you’d want to know.” “It doesn’t look good.”

A spouse and children shattered by what’s to come. How could someone seemingly so healthy suddenly be near death? How do you pray? You want healing on this earth but at what cost? Is it better to pray for peace and comfort? I’m so thankful God makes those decisions. His will. Always. His will.

There is a comfort that goodbye won’t be forever. How do those without that assurance deal with the separation? How do they let go? How can we?

Death seems to be a constant companion in this season of life. The generation of my parents is going on to a better place, leaving us here to mourn. We talk about God’s will. But what about the grief that comes when His will breaks our hearts?

Decisions aren’t easy to make when your heart is shattered. We put off death. We put off the conversations that tell our loved ones what we’d want them to do. It’s as though we believe if we don’t talk about death, it won’t come. But it will. Death is as much a part of life as birth.

So, what would your loved ones want if they couldn’t speak for themselves? Would they want you to try everything to keep them alive? Would they choose to let go of this life, without heroic measures, ventilators, and such? Would they ask you to consider quality of life? Would they want to live if living meant a life tethered to machines, unable to breath or walk or function alone?

Tough questions. Necessary questions. It’s not a matter of age. Anyone who has lived a life knows that death can come at any age and at any moment. We are not guaranteed another minute. Yet we sometimes act as though we have all the time in the world. We don’t.

Take time today to learn of your loved ones’ wishes. And tell them yours. Write it all down. Don’t wait for a better time or another day. You don’t want to be in a time and place where, with your heart breaking, you’re having to make life and death decisions. It’s an awful place to be.

One day those of us who believe in Jesus Christ as our Risen Savior will live forever in heaven. There will be no more tears or pain. Death won’t ever come again. Jesus made sure of that. But for now let’s do all we can to help each other navigate this indescribable pain. Let your wishes be known before your loved ones need to know.

August 5, 2018

Jesus Grieves with Us

Jesus wept. – John 11:35

Our chairs faced the bed. We watched him breath in and out. He could have been sleeping. My heart ached for him to wake up, to speak, to ask for a drink of water or some ice cream. My mind understood that when he did wake up it would be in heaven.

Mother and I watched the medical equipment that monitored his blood pressure and heart rate. Silence surrounded us, interrupted only by the nurses who checked on us. The vigil continued. Hour after hour.

It had been days since we’d gone to his rehab facility for a visit. We were with him when the wheezing started. The staff acted quickly and he was soon dispatched by ambulance to the hospital. We were hoping they’d give him medicine and send him back. He was admitted to ICU.

We were not prepared for the doctor who told us he might not make it through the night. We were not prepared to stay at the hospital. We would not leave. The ICU nurses brought comfortable chairs into his room for Mother and I. They understood better than we did that it wouldn’t end well.

Hope circled my heart as we all monitored him through the night. He clung to life. He was stubborn that way. His frantic eyes sought mine as he struggled to understand. I leaned close. “I love you, Daddy,” I told him again. I held his hand and tried to explain that he was sick and in the hospital. His body relaxed and he slept. He never woke again.

Two days later even the doctors had given up hope. We were moved to a regular room to wait for the end. People came and went. Few seemed to understand this was not a time to loudly talk about politics or their own ailments. Didn’t anyone get it? My Daddy was dying! It wasn’t a social occasion; it was a death vigil.

It was late when the last person left. A few caring friends didn’t want to leave us alone. We assured them we would be okay. It was right somehow that in the end it was just the three of us. How many days had we spent in hospitals and rehab facilities? How many nights had I slept on a sofa or chair to be close to one of my parents? How often had my heart broken under the weight of responsibility and criticism from people who skirted the outside but never dared to show up and help.

Jesus was there. We were never alone. His strength carried us, comforted us, held us in the storm. And then it was over. The machine’s flat lines, the nurse’s sad confirmation, the quick glance at the clock. Death at 12:25 a.m. on this day two years ago.

Calls were made. Mother and I were escorted to the waiting room. Numbness. We went through the motions. There was paperwork to sign. There’s always paperwork. And then the silent trip home.

The tears would come. They still come. I guess they always will. “Jesus wept.” I love this verse. It’s a short, powerful reminder that Jesus grieves with us. He doesn’t leave us alone. Not ever. Indeed, He draws close to us providing comfort and strength and hope.

Death doesn’t have the final say for those of us who believe. I will see my parents again one day. Do you have that certainty in your own life? Are you headed to heaven one day? Are you sure? None of us know the hours we have left. Know where you are headed before it’s too late.

August 3, 2018

Treasure Each Other

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. – Ephesians 2:19-21

We shared memories today, my cousins and I. It’s one of the beautiful things of life when you can join together the past and today with unbreakable bonds that will carry you into the future.

It’s a sad time. The death of someone you love is never easy. Yes, we’ll see him again. But that doesn’t erase the pain of today. So, we remember the past even as we look toward the future of an eternal reunion.

We are all intertwined, these people I love and those who have joined the family through the years. My Dad went to school with the man who would become his cousin’s husband. I grew up down the street from the woman who would become another cousin’s wife. We were joined by blood at birth. We choose to be friends and family as adults.

Our lives are built on faith in Jesus Christ. Our foundation is solid even though the storms of life rock us now and again. We cling to Jesus and each other. A love that has weathered adversity becomes that much stronger.

We forget sometimes just who we are. We get so caught up in life, so comfortable with what we’re doing and what we “know” to be right, that we forget that we are unworthy sinners. We forget about what Jesus did for us.

Oh, we know. We tell ourselves that anyway. But our sin and Jesus’ death on a cross isn’t some vague something that’s mostly about someone else. It’s about us. It’s about what we have done and how He came to save me and you from eternal separation from God.

It’s not surprising that I became reacquainted with these cousins of mine in a church we all attended. We shared laughter and casseroles right along with Bible study and worship. I was blessed. I am still blessed. When the storm came, they stood beside me. Our foundations remained solid. That’s what faith is all about.

When my Dad died, his cousin came with food still hot from the stove. She came to love on Mother and I with hugs and support, stories that brought a tear and a laugh. She came to be there with us because that’s what a family born of God does. They show up. They help. They love and support those who are hurting. Today, I did that for her.

Life changes. Death reminds us that we are meant for someplace else. We are only transients here on earth. That’s something else we forget sometimes. We get so focused on the here and now that we forget nothing we possess on earth goes with us when we make the final journey home.

What remains are the relationships we forge with God’s people. If we are truly fortunate, we share the bond of blood family and spiritual family with the same people. Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of our lives. We cling to Him, just as we cling to each other.

I hope this day finds you surrounded by people of deep faith, people who share your stories, and people who remain steadfast no matter what life brings. The love shared by fellow believers is a bond that runs deep and true. It’s a gift from God. Treasure it as more valuable than gold because, as time often proves, it is.

July 19, 2018

Focus on Jesus

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. – James 1:12

Some seasons of life are just hard. It might be a wayward child, a divorce, a job loss, an unexpected illness. It could be a wreck, a fire, a season of unexpected bills. It could be the death of someone you love. The storm crashes against us again and again and, some days, our faith seems so weak.

It’s not about whether you will face a storm. We all do. It’s about whether you have prepared your heart for its inevitability.

The Bible tells us to grow our roots deep in faith so that we can withstand life’s trials. Some take heed and do just that. Others merely skate along, with a naïve certainty that they can handle anything. They believe that really bad things only happen to others. They assume a strength that has never been tested.

Until it happens. Then you learn that waiting room chairs are hard and the hours endless while a loved one fights for her life in ICU. You learn the treasure of friends who just let you cry without trying to “fix” what only God can repair. You learn the difference between a necessity and a need. You learn the miracle of small steps forward, an extended hand, friends who show up and help without being asked.

And you learn empathy and grace. You learn that you can do everything right and still have your world fall apart without notice. You learn that nothing on this earth is certain and that our only true anchor is Christ.

You come to understand the camaraderie of strangers bound together by crisis. You learn medical terms and rehab techniques and how to find and accept specialized help. And you learn that pride has no place when you are in desperate need of a kind word or a flicker of hope.

There is no place as lonely as an ICU waiting room in the middle of the night. There is no place as lonely as the first moments, the first hours, in a house void of someone who will never come home again. There is no place as lonely as the days of transition between what was and what now is.

You learn the blessing of presence that some gift so generously. You learn the blessing of faith as long-ago memorized verses come to mind. You learn the truth that fertilized hope will carry you when the darkness threatens to overwhelm you.

You persevere, taking one step and then another, because you really have no choice. People say you are strong but the truth isn’t so pretty. There is nothing to do but go forward because life doesn’t pause for broken hearts, destroyed lives, shattered dreams.

You focus your eyes on Jesus, your anchor in what seems to be the never-ending storm. The world tells you to move on, to forget, to get over the past. Your heart wishes it was that easy. You take another step toward Jesus, toward His patience and compassion.

And one day your heart feels a little lighter. Your grief remains. What was will never be again. But you feel His Presence in a way you never felt before. You smile up at Jesus and take another step toward home.

July 11, 2018

Jesus Loves Us

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. – John 11:5-6

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

– John 11:32

“Jesus loves me! This I know,

For the Bible tells me so;

Little ones to Him belong;

They are weak, but He is strong.”

The words to this song by Anna B. Warner echo in my mind. So many of us grew up singing this sweet, reassuring verse. “Yes, Jesus loves me!” That makes everything right in our childhood hearts and minds.

Until we grow up and realize that while Jesus always loves us, He doesn’t always show up in time to prevent a tragedy. He doesn’t always protect us from abuse or death or homelessness. Jesus loves us but sometimes He allows us to suffer.

We know this story of Lazarus. We know that Jesus used his friend’s death to show the glory of God. And we know that when Jesus does arrive, He weeps with his friends and then calls Lazarus from the tomb. We know that belief in Jesus means we will never truly die. But, oh, how death can hurt!

The hardest part of faith is remaining strong when you know that Jesus could prevent something awful and, yet, He doesn’t. The most difficult part of faith is knowing that Jesus can heal, knowing He will heal, but facing the deep truth that sometimes healing takes place in heaven and not on this earth.

The news tells us that it was such a tragedy. A man shot and killed his wife and one of his daughters. He shot another two daughters while still another fled for her life. Then he started a fire that destroyed their home and killed himself. Drugs, they say. A divorce petition and a custody filing. Not on the “other” side of town. A family just like ours. How can it be? How can Jesus allow something so horrible to happen? And, yet, He does.

You’re probably thinking I’m going to give you wisdom or advice, explain the unexplainable, or, at least, help us make sense of it all. I’m not. I don’t understand. We live in a fallen world. It’s a trite truth but a truth still the same. Jesus can step in at any moment and prevent tragedy but usually He allows it to play out. One person’s demons destroys a family and scars his children forever. Because how do you “get over” having a parent try to kill you? How do you deal with the loss of a Mother and a sister? You don’t.

Jesus never said life would be easy. In fact, He said we’d have troubles. He never said He’d protect us from the tragedies and hurts of this world. What He did say is that He’d never leave us alone. He promised to walk with us, to guide us, to turn bad into something good if we’d only give it to Him.

We shout at Him in anger and anguish, with a brokenness that can only come from deep sorrow. We know, like Martha, if He’d only come sooner it would all have ended differently. But, you see, one day it will end differently.

Death doesn’t have the final say. Darkness lost the war. While troubles may cause us to falter and stumble on this earth, we’re only passing through to another destination. We’re headed to a place where drug abuse and cancer and divorce and death don’t exist. We’re on a journey home.

So when life overwhelms you and your shattered heart cries out for relief, focus your eyes on the light. That’s Jesus. Look neither to the right nor to the left. Stay focused. “Jesus loves you! This I know.” And He also keeps His promises. He never leaves us alone. We may not be strong, but He is. And some days that is the anchor that keeps us upright in the storm.

June 19, 2018

Life Isn’t Guaranteed

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.

– Proverbs 27:1

Three people died yesterday morning. Three others are hospitalized, one in critical condition. They were just living their lives, traveling down a highway. Two vehicles hit head on and, in that instant, lives were forever changed.

We make plans as though tomorrow is a sure thing. We collect stuff and maneuver our lives to gain power and prestige and money. We get so busy living the lives of our choosing that we lose sight of the most important thing: This world isn’t our home. We won’t be here forever.

The highway was closed for a while. People were scrambling to find alternate routes. It is a well-traveled road. The closure was a major inconvenience. No one wanted to mention that. It seemed too ugly to think about self when people had died.

I wonder how many people who said they would pray for those involved, for the families and friends, for all the emergency responders, actually did pray? Do we fully realize the impact of what happened? Do we even care? It wasn’t someone we knew so we move on with our lives while theirs lay shattered where dreams and plans once lived.

Priorities shift when your life implodes. You either draw closer to Jesus or you slide down a steep slope with the devil. It’s impossible to go through trauma without it changing the core of who you are.

Some people become furious at God. We expect His protection over our own lives and the lives of those we care about. We believe somewhere deep inside that we are immune from such happenings. We’re good people, good Christians. It’s not supposed to happen to us. Until it does.

None of us are immune to tragedy. We live in a fallen world where people make bad choices. We live in a darkness that clouds the vision of people who believe they can see when they can’t. Sometimes God protects us. Most of the time He stays clear, allowing us and others to make choices that sometimes bring great heartache.

Illness, disease, unhealthy lifestyles were never part of God’s plan. Adam and Eve sent us all on a path of destruction. For those of us who believe in the resurrected Christ, there is hope. There is eternal life with Him. There is a place with no more tears. But we aren’t there yet. We’re still traveling through a broken world.

God is with us. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. He promised to bring good from every bad thing if we will just turn it over to Him. We can lean on His strength or we can face the struggle alone. One way leads to healing and the other to destruction. It’s our choice.

I don’t know if those involved in that wreck knew Jesus. I hope so. Life is short and uncertain. Don’t wait to dedicate your life to Him. Don’t wait to look toward home and live accordingly. We make lots of plans but the truth is we don’t know how long we’ll be here. Live your life fully, placing Christ at the center of it all. Be ready when He calls you home.

May 28, 2018

Remember the Cost

“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me.”

– 2 Samuel 1:26a

David and Jonathan were like brothers. They had remained loyal to one another despite Saul’s attempts on David’s life. They had remained friends even though God had anointed David to be the next king, rather than Jonathan who was King Saul’s son. Only death could truly separate the friends.

War has always taken its devastating toll. That was the case here. Both King Saul and his son Jonathan were killed in battle. It was a very real cost of war but that didn’t ease the broken hearts of those left behind.

Today is Memorial Day. It isn’t a day to barbecue with friends, hang out at the beach or laze around with a good book. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that. It’s just that it misses the point.

This is the day we remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. It’s the day we remember those who never came home. We honor them and the families who were left with a gaping hole in their hearts. It is a somber day of remembrance.

In recent years some have tried to turn this day into a celebration of all veterans and those in active military service. That was never what was intended. I am grateful to those veterans and to those who are currently serving our country in the Armed Forces. But I truly hope and pray that their families won’t ever need to remember them on this day.

There are plenty of days to remember those who live. There is Veterans Day. There is Independence Day. There are lots of accolades and times to say “Thank You!” Today is for those who aren’t here with us anymore. Today is for those who died too soon.

The Vietnam Memorial stands as a stark reminder, the names etched in stone. Do you know someone whose name is on that monument? Yeah. Me too. It changes things, doesn’t it? Because none of those hero stories can ever replace the one who didn’t come home.

God understands our grief. He sees our tears. He stands with us as we remember, as we mourn, as we take those first steps alone. God knows how shattered hearts feel. Remember, He gave His Son so that we could live.

The cemetery just down the road will have a ceremony today. Flags will dot graves throughout the cemetery. One will rest beside my cousin, a young man who never had the chance to grow old. This day was special to his Dad, who was also a serviceman. It was the one day out of the year that everyone remembered what he had lost.

I don’t know what your plans are today, but I sure hope you take time to remember the cost of living in a free country. Please say a prayer for those who still grieve because, no matter what you may have been told, there’s no time limit on grief. Honor what they’ve lost by remembering what this day is all about.