September 17, 2018

Words Can Heal or Destroy

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. – James 3:6

Who are you? What’s your name? How do you identify yourself? What do others call you?

Our pastor made a really interesting point on Sunday. James understood firsthand the dangers of condemning someone without cause. He knew what happened when others referred to someone with names that were really just lies. Think about all the names his brother was called. Consider the lies from the Pharisees. Yes. James understood the cost.

Condemnation is referring to someone by their problem or their sin and not their name, our pastor said. They are “liars,” “trash,” “stupid.” They are “drug addicts,” “homely,” “fat.”

We call people by what we see as their sin. And that, in turn, is how they come to see themselves.

Pastor Ryan Martin said there are two truths about sin. The first is that every sin we commit is the direct result of us believing a lie. The second is that all sin is the result of idolatry.

When we condemn someone with our words we tell them they aren’t worthy. They aren’t worthy of us and they aren’t worthy of God. And they start to believe those lies we spew at them. It’s a sick kind of game. Sin begets sin.

And it becomes like a god to us. We can make ourselves the god. We can make our sin – say vaping or gossiping – our god. It becomes more important than anything or anyone. It becomes more important than God.

There is a shame that comes with the harsh words others direct at us. We get down on ourselves. We forget how wonderful we are. We forget we were created in the image of God Almighty. We forget we are loved and chosen and special. We forget everything but the condemnation in the words directed toward us.

Words can create life or they can destroy it. What about your words? Do you talk bad about people? Do you try to turn the opinions of others against someone you don’t like? Do you build yourself up at the expense of others?

Or maybe you’re the person who always finds something good in others. Maybe you’re the one who gives a genuine, specific compliment to another person. Maybe you’re the one who refuses to spread, or even listen, to the ugliness some try to share.

Each day is filled with choices. Make your words be words of healing and hope.

March 5, 2018

Treat Each Other With Respect

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. – James 3:8-9

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

– Genesis 1:27

There it was again. The words slammed “liberals” this time. Not to worry. He slams “gays,” gun-control advocates, Democrats, and just about everyone who dares to disagree with his opinion. Then he turns right around and proclaims Jesus as Lord and Savior. Does anyone else see the hypocrisy in this?

He is a nice man. You’d like him if you met him. You really would. At least you would if you stayed away from politics. He just seems to lose all reason when it comes to his conservative agenda. He is not alone.

Honestly, I don’t care what your opinions happen to be. The First Amendment – everyone remembers that one I hope – guarantees the right to free speech. What bothers me are the mean attacks aimed at the opposing side. What happened to civility? What happened to staying on point and keeping ourselves focused on the issues? When did it all get to be so personal that we believe it’s okay to viciously attack someone, then proclaim God is good?

Every person was created in God’s image. I believe that because it’s what the Bible says. God loves equally the liberal and conservative person. God loves all of us, whether we acknowledge that love or not. So how can we look on someone created in God’s image and condemn that person all the while claiming to love Him?

I’ve had so many explain it this way: It’s my opinion. I’m entitled to my opinion. Yes, you are. The honest debate helps all of us be better people and find solutions to the problems our nation faces. Or, at least, that’s how it’s supposed to work in a democracy.

We look around and see hatred bubbling up everywhere. It’s always someone else’s fault. Then we start bashing people who disagree with us. It’s not about the issue, it’s about those “stupid” people who don’t think like we do.

The one thing we all seem to agree on is how bad Congress has become. The members can’t seem to get anything done. I wonder why? Could it be because they’re too busy catering to a shifting political agenda and their own pocketbooks to actually focus on honest debate and true solutions. That might require compromise. It might cause a loud backlash from voters. No one wants to believe that someone on the other side might actually make a good point now and again.

Congress is inept because we demand they be so. Those politicians look at us – loud, ugly children so intent on getting our own way that we can’t remember how to share – and decide to be just the same. When are we going to actually start living the faith we so loudly proclaim?

Jesus said to love each other. There is no place in Christianity for hatred. Whenever you point ugly fingers at those who disagree, you’ve pointed an ugly finger at someone made in God’s image. Stop it.

Look in the mirror and fix yourself. Choose words that focus on the issues, and not the person you disagree with. In all things, at all times, remember that person is someone God loves. Treat him with kindness and respect. Live the faith you so loudly proclaim. We’ll all be better people, a better nation, because of it.

February 18, 2018

Words Have Consequences

And the tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. -- James 3:6-10a

She was terrified of him, convinced deep inside that he would kill her or hire someone to kill her. No amount of reassurance could convince her otherwise.

She had baited the lion with harsh words and he had risen up, his focus on destroying her and all those who cared for her.

Words get away from us sometimes. They cause more havoc than we ever imagined. The consequences reverberate over and over, until there is nothing left but anger and hatred. Pure evil stands watch over those God has vowed to protect.

She had the locks on all her doors changed. She slept with a baseball bat beside her bed. She lay awake at night, listening for the slightest sound that might indicate an intruder. Fear was her constant companion.

Yet, God tells us not to be afraid. He stands watch over us. How hard it is to rest in that truth! Life deals us blows we could never imagine and we cower behind what His word for a comfort that never seems to completely satisfy.

Words are powerful and they can never, ever be unsaid. They spew forth from hearts that are hard and angry, vicious and cruel. Words make promises, whether they are ever intended to be kept or not. Words destroy forever what could have been.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is forgive someone who wasn’t sorry. That’s one of those Pinterest things that periodically makes its way around Facebook. It’s true. But we forgive for ourselves, not for those who damaged us with their words and actions. We forgive so that we can go on without forever being consumed with brokenness.

Our words make us feel righteous and justified. Neither is the case. Angry, hurtful words are just that. There is no love or kindness that can cover what words have destroyed.

A sweet friend is trying desperately to rebuild her marriage. Words, spoken in a moment, have created a wedge that no apology can penetrate. Forgiveness is easy to say but harder to do. Impossible really without God’s help.

Watch your words. They can never be unsaid. And, sometimes, the consequences can never be undone.

April 27, 2016

Take Responsibility

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. -- James 3:13

We go through our days making decisions and every decision has consequences. Some consequences are good and some aren’t. But every decision has a consequence.

As adults, we have the right to make our own decisions. So long as what we are doing is legal, that is. But do we have the right to make decisions that harm others? People do it all the time.

It’s not always an easy choice. Let’s look at it this way: You are offered a new job. It means more money, better insurance benefits. That sounds wonderful. You’ll be better able to care for your family.

But what happens if that same job will take you out of town all the time, so that your spouse becomes a single parent and you miss your kids activities? It’s your choice but that choice will impact your family. Shouldn’t they have a voice in that decision?

Let’s take it a step further. Shouldn’t we then accept responsibility for our choices? We do that when things turn out well but not so much when things blow up. We start pointing our guilty fingers, trying to put the blame on someone else. Anyone else. And that just makes the whole thing so much worse.

A television talk show host yesterday talked about respect. She made a really good point. She was talking about respect in the workplace but I think it’s true in life. When we take responsibility for our choices, we are showing respect for those around us. We owe them that.

Maybe that’s especially true when our choice turns out to be really, really bad. When people get hurt. When lives are forever altered. Like when one spouse has an affair and it destroys a family.

Don’t lie about it. Don’t try to cover it up long after it’s been revealed. And for sure don’t blame your spouse for your choice. There are always consequences. Always.

So try always to use wisdom and lead a good life. Seek God’s counsel and make wise choices. Let Him guide your footsteps and take responsibility for your missteps.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Teachers Follow God’s Call

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. -- James 3:1

It’s been almost a year since God called me to teach an adult Sunday school class. I heard His call but I never expected it would be this particular class. God amazes me. I don’t know why. He knows exactly what He’s doing.

There have been so many times when I doubted myself. I still do. I love to read and study the Bible but I always compare myself to Biblical scholars with fancy degrees. I don’t know nearly enough. I doubt I ever will.

The first Sunday that I taught, I looked over and saw one man busy on his iphone. His wife wanted to know what he was doing. Without so much as a pause, I told her he was checking to make sure I knew what I was talking about. The shock on his face still brings a chuckle to my mind. It was exactly what he was doing. He just didn’t think I would know.

I don’t blame him. I’d want to know if my new Sunday school teacher knew what she was talking about too. In that particular case, it was just before Easter and I used material from a small group study I was taking. It was a good beginning. I loved the material and had learned a lot, so I was eager to share it.

I wish I could say that it has all been smooth and easy. Not so much though. Some Sundays are wonderful, the discussion is animated and on point. Other Sundays it’s a battle to get the class involved in the topic.

I always ask God to give me words. I want to say what He wants, not what I want. God knows the hearts and minds of each individual in the class. He knows the hurts and heartaches they’re facing. I want so much for each class member to learn and grow. But that’s up to them and to God.

Some weeks keeping to the topic is a challenge at best. I have to be conscious that we’re following God’s agenda and not someone else’s. One man chuckled the other day, saying that I’d lost control again. He meant the class discussion had gone it’s own way. But really, it hadn’t. They were involved and if the order of my bullet points got changed around, so what?

Other weeks are just such a blessing. We discussed forgiving our enemies and I could feel the healing as the questions and discussion took place. We reviewed Scriptures and we talked about how hard it is. And that some times forgiving is a process that begins anew each day.

Some days I wonder what in the world I’m doing teaching a Sunday school class. Then I laugh. I’m teaching because God told me to. And I pray that I’ll continue to follow His lead in all things but especially in this so that all of us may learn and grow closer to the One who created us all.