July 1, 2021

 

Look in the Mirror

 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. – Philippians 2:3-4

 

“It’s all about me.” That seems to be the mantra of so many people these days. It’s not about politics or religion. In fact, people who claim faith sometimes seem to be the worst offenders.

 

How we live our daily lives reflects who we are deep inside. Do you let the car waiting to get out move in front of you even if it means you will miss the green light? Are you honest in business, even if it means losing a customer? Do you tell the truth, make the donation, sacrifice your time even when you will get nothing in return?

 

We wonder what’s wrong with the world, pointing fingers at the opposing political party, people from another faith or no faith at all, and those who are struggling financially. We fail to notice the person in the mirror. We refuse to accept our share of the blame for all the discord in our world.

 

Change starts with you. And with me. It’s the small gestures that ripple out as light into a dark world. Stop blaming others for the decline in moral values. Refuse to be sucked in to the belief that people always cause their own misery. (See Job for reference.) And learn to embrace a basic tenant that doing good is always the right thing even when it costs you.

November 8, 2018

Help People

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4

Late yesterday afternoon during a torrential downpour I drove to a neighboring town. Why? Because a friend’s truck, which was in the shop for repair, was ready to be picked up. He needed a ride. I provided it.

Was it convenient? No. Was it fun? Nope. White-knuckle driving isn’t fun. But he needed a ride and I was able to give him one. Gladly, I might add. Because we all need someone sometimes.

We live in a world that tells us to look out for number one. Life has become a continual competition. We must “win” at any cost, against anyone else. It doesn’t matter if it’s work or family or church or neighborhood. We’ve got to be out front or we’ve lost. That’s what the world tells us, anyway.

In Jesus’ kingdom, just the opposite is true. We are to be servants. We are to help people. We are to share what we have freely with others, whether we believe they deserve it or not.

We brush that last bit aside. We choose to ignore what Jesus really said and focus on what makes sense to us. Being a disciple of Jesus isn’t easy. Why? Because it’s not about us. It’s about Him. It’s about serving the people He loves, whether it’s convenient or not.

A few years ago I called on a friend to give my Mother a ride home. We were at the hospital where my Dad was in ICU. I didn’t have time to take her home and be back for the next visitation. She was worn out and needed to rest. It was one of many times when I was torn apart trying to balance the needs of two elderly parents.

This friend drove about 30 miles to get her, then another 30-plus miles to take her home. Then he had another 22 miles to get back to his home. It wasn’t a quick trip. And that’s without adding in the slow movements of an elderly person. He did it anyway. Would you?

I’ve had people go out of their way to help me with cows, with furniture, with downed trees. I’ve had people who show up again and again, whether it’s at the hospital or my home, just because they wanted to know I was okay.

On the flip side of that, I’ve tried to be there for others. It’s not always easy. I’ve sat in hospital rooms, spent the day taking a mom to see her daughter in ICU in another state, baked cakes to entice finicky eaters, and done many other things. Why? Because it matters.

People remember that you show up. You don’t need fancy words or a bank full of money. You don’t need to be able to fix what’s broken. You just need to be there.

And it needs to be about them. What do they need? What service can you provide? How can you help? It’s not about what you want but what they want.

 Most of the time helping others isn’t convenient. Do it anyway. It’s rarely easy. Do it anyway. It can drain you emotionally and physically. Do it anyway. You’ll never regret helping someone who is truly in need.

September 27, 2018

Check Your Motives

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. – James 3:16

She talks tough. Curse words dot most sentences. Her laughter is a little too loud. She shoves her arrogance in your face. She’s hard as nails.

In her way of thinking, she’s got to put everyone else down in order to look good. Her co-workers despise her. You never know when she’ll lob the next zinger. The air around her is tense, poised for battle.

She is jealous of everyone. Selfish ambition fills her. She refuses to be a part of the team. She’s too focused on herself. She’s too busy “winning” the day to realize she’s losing the battle.

Do you know someone like her? You probably do. There always seems to be one like her to dirty up any environment. Her “wisdom” says it’s all about her and she doesn’t care who she hurts or what she destroys on her mission.

Maybe you’ve even been her before. Maybe you know what it’s like to win no matter the cost. Maybe you’ve felt the emptiness that comes after the triumphant win. Maybe you’ve gone around and around on that roller coaster, trying desperately to figure out why success doesn’t seem to mean as much as it used to mean.

One of those viral videos just came to mind. It was of a young man with cystic fibrosis scoring a touchdown, as both teams ran with and cheered him on. Don’t miss that. Both teams. I have no idea who won the game. Who cares? Because, really, they both won when they united to help a young man achieve a dream.

It’s amazing what can happen when we work together, isn’t it? It’s amazing what can happen when we think of someone else first, isn’t it? Then why does the world tell us it’s all about us?

Satan wants us to believe that. We get so caught up that we forget we’re in a spiritual battle every single day. It’s real, folks. Satan dangles the world before us and we snatch it, the allure seemingly more than we can withstand. He tells us what we deserve. He makes false promises and we believe him every time.

The only way to withstand the onslaught is with the strength of Jesus. The only way to know the truth is to seek His wisdom. Read His Word. Pray. Listen to the Holy Spirit. James also tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from you. But are you willing to resist?

Jealousy and selfish ambition will destroy every relationship you ever have, whether it’s work, family or friendship. Whenever you start demanding your “rights” or what you think you “deserve,” step back and do a heart check. None of us deserve God’s grace. None of us have the right to claim what ultimately belongs to Him.

And none of us have the right to put others down, to spread lies, to cause trouble for others in a worthless attempt to look better and, thus, feel better about ourselves. It’s just wrong. And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t. Because people always see the truth and you end up destroying yourself.

There are two types of wisdom: that wisdom that comes from the world and that wisdom that comes from God. Make sure you know which you’re following before you end up down a path you never planned to go.

May 1, 2016

Put Others First

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. -- Philippians 2:3-4

It’s not about you. Really. It’s not. It’s not about me either. It’s about what we can do for others to show them the love of Jesus.

We forget that frequently. We get so caught up in our own agendas that we neglect even the simple things we can do for someone else.

Yesterday a woman spent much of her day in the Emergency Room for chest pain. Her husband of many years went to eat lunch. She asked him to stay in the hospital to eat. He insisted on crossing a busy highway to eat at a fast food restaurant.

So she lay in her hospital bed worrying until he returned. She was at times furious and other times scared. He put his own wishes before hers, adding stress to an already stressful situation.

Why? To prove he could. Is that why we sometimes do the things we do? Just to prove that we can? No matter who gets hurt, we’ve got to win.

What would happen if we followed Paul’s advice and put others first? How would the world look if we actually did what we say we believe?

It sure would be a lot easier to enter into traffic because other drivers would be willing to let us get in front of them. It would be nice to avoid the stampede to the serving line during church events.

It would be great to value someone else’s opinion above your own. Can you imagine actually having someone hear what you have to say before they formed an opinion and started talking? That would be awesome.

Or what if you gave your seat to someone else? I was appalled recently at a church event. There weren’t enough chairs for everyone. Children, and their parents, claimed seats while elderly members were forced to stand. It’s sad when we don’t see this courtesy in our own churches.

A sweet friend was so excited the other day. She was going through a drive thru line and the person in front of her paid for her meal. She, naturally, paid for the car behind her. But she was so excited. Why? Because someone did something thoughtful with no expectations of a reward.

Do you consider others before yourself? All of us fall short on this one. Maybe it’s time we started thinking about it and acting on Paul’s words a little more often.

April 9, 2016

Put Others First

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. -- Philippians 2:3-4

Yesterday we made the bi-weekly trek to the grocery store. Parking, especially the handicapped slots, were at a premium. I noticed two men loading groceries into their car and I waited patiently for them to finish, get in their car and leave. I sat with my blinker on, clearing waiting. You know what I am about to say, don’t you? Someone came up and snagged the spot that was supposed to be mine.

You probably want me to say it was okay. Really, it wasn’t. My Mother has trouble walking and it’s a long way from the parking lot to the front door of the grocery store. In my mind, she trumps the stranger who stole “our” parking space.

How ridiculous! At the end of the day, does it really matter? The other driver wasn’t worth getting upset about. I had to tell myself that several times. Because, you see, it wasn’t about a parking space.

Don’t we all hate when other people -- even strangers -- don’t value us? It’s really upsetting not to be first! Except, Paul clearly tells us we aren’t supposed to be first.

That’s all well and good when we apply it to someone else. That woman shouldn’t have taken the space I was waiting to get. She should have put me first. Or, better yet, my Mother first. She should have waited her turn.

It’s not so easy when we’re the ones who are being called to consider others before ourselves. She might have been searching for a spot for sometime. She clearly wasn’t good at parking because she had to try several times before she made it into the spot. I should give her the benefit of the doubt, as the saying goes.

How often this plays out in our lives. We don’t want people to cut in front of us in traffic. We don’t want to wait in line. We want to have all our needs met immediately and let others wait.

Life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we have to step back and let someone else be first. Not because it is their “right” but because it is what we are called to do.

Think about it: Do you look more like Jesus when you are demanding your right to be first or when you are graciously allowing someone else to take that slot? Choose to be like Jesus.

March 18, 2016

God Cares For The Depressed

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb the mountain of God. -- 1 Kings 19:3-8


Are depressed people self-centered and selfish? That question came up in conversation the other day. It’s a touchy topic and one with intense ramifications if it is judged wrongly.

The short answer: Most depressed people are not self-centered or selfish. There are some, I’m sure, who use depression to manipulate others and focus attention on themselves. I’ve rarely met one but it is possible.

Most depressed people are living in a black hole. That’s why they can’t see anyone but themselves. Think about it like this: When the power goes out and everything is pitch black around you, what do you see? Nothing. That’s how it is for someone suffering from depression.

There are many causes of depression. Some cases are caused by events and some are caused by physical issues, such as low serotonin. It is frequently a combination of things and sometimes takes many doctors and therapists working together with the patient to unravel what is really going on.

I get so upset when someone assumes the person can just “get over it” because that just isn’t true. Nor does depression indicate a lack of faith. Depression is an illness, just like heart disease or diabetes. And it can kill. Never, ever brush that fact aside. When someone talks about suicide, take it seriously. They’ve likely decided that those they love will be better off without them.

This passage of Scripture always reminds me of how God cares for people who are so weary that they have given up. God would never brush someone aside or tell them to just “get over it.” God cares for His children. So should we.

I hope you never suffer from depression. I also hope you never have a loved one with this dreaded disease. In some ways, I think that is even worse. But know that God walks with us on this journey. When depression hits, He is there.

March 4, 2016

Look Beyond Yourself

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

-- Philippians 2:3-4

It was kind of funny really. A really sweet young woman brought a large piece of furniture to the house for me to paint. She was surprised when I told her it would be a week to 10 days before it was ready. I’m not sure what she was thinking but I think it was more like a day or two.

I don’t think it occurred to her that I might have other orders ahead of hers. Surprising really. She first contacted me in December and I was too busy to get to it before Christmas. She called again and said she would bring it but never came. Then one day she called and told me it was loaded and she was on her way. Okay.

I’ll do the best I can to get it back to her in a timely manner. I’ve learned that life rarely goes the way I planned. And I’ve also learned that most folks think they should be first, no matter who was ahead of them in line.

Aren’t we all that way? We don’t want to wait. We hurry, hurry, hurry. We want to be first in line. All the time. And, yet, that isn’t the way we’re supposed to behave.

Several years ago I was at a church function and watched man rush forward the minute the potluck buffet line opened. I was appalled. Later he was back for seconds before everyone had made it through the line the first time. This was a man who should have known better. Maybe he thought he did. How sad.

It’s not fun being last, is it? At one function I attend every year, people line up based on when their table number is drawn. Last year we were next to last. There really wasn’t a lot of food left and several folks grumbled loudly. But, you know, somebody has to be last. Who says it shouldn’t be me or you?

Things have changed since I was young. We no longer allow the elderly to go first. We don’t always hold the door for someone else. We would never consider giving our seat up for someone else. And we wonder -- loudly -- where our country’s values have gone. Look in the mirror.

Every time we fail to put someone before ourselves, we are denying the gospel. Kindness matters. When you preach one moment and the next you are putting yourself first, you are being the hypocrite you profess to hate.

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. Really. It’s not.