September 27, 2018

Check Your Motives

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. – James 3:16

She talks tough. Curse words dot most sentences. Her laughter is a little too loud. She shoves her arrogance in your face. She’s hard as nails.

In her way of thinking, she’s got to put everyone else down in order to look good. Her co-workers despise her. You never know when she’ll lob the next zinger. The air around her is tense, poised for battle.

She is jealous of everyone. Selfish ambition fills her. She refuses to be a part of the team. She’s too focused on herself. She’s too busy “winning” the day to realize she’s losing the battle.

Do you know someone like her? You probably do. There always seems to be one like her to dirty up any environment. Her “wisdom” says it’s all about her and she doesn’t care who she hurts or what she destroys on her mission.

Maybe you’ve even been her before. Maybe you know what it’s like to win no matter the cost. Maybe you’ve felt the emptiness that comes after the triumphant win. Maybe you’ve gone around and around on that roller coaster, trying desperately to figure out why success doesn’t seem to mean as much as it used to mean.

One of those viral videos just came to mind. It was of a young man with cystic fibrosis scoring a touchdown, as both teams ran with and cheered him on. Don’t miss that. Both teams. I have no idea who won the game. Who cares? Because, really, they both won when they united to help a young man achieve a dream.

It’s amazing what can happen when we work together, isn’t it? It’s amazing what can happen when we think of someone else first, isn’t it? Then why does the world tell us it’s all about us?

Satan wants us to believe that. We get so caught up that we forget we’re in a spiritual battle every single day. It’s real, folks. Satan dangles the world before us and we snatch it, the allure seemingly more than we can withstand. He tells us what we deserve. He makes false promises and we believe him every time.

The only way to withstand the onslaught is with the strength of Jesus. The only way to know the truth is to seek His wisdom. Read His Word. Pray. Listen to the Holy Spirit. James also tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from you. But are you willing to resist?

Jealousy and selfish ambition will destroy every relationship you ever have, whether it’s work, family or friendship. Whenever you start demanding your “rights” or what you think you “deserve,” step back and do a heart check. None of us deserve God’s grace. None of us have the right to claim what ultimately belongs to Him.

And none of us have the right to put others down, to spread lies, to cause trouble for others in a worthless attempt to look better and, thus, feel better about ourselves. It’s just wrong. And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t. Because people always see the truth and you end up destroying yourself.

There are two types of wisdom: that wisdom that comes from the world and that wisdom that comes from God. Make sure you know which you’re following before you end up down a path you never planned to go.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Nothing Good Comes From Jealousy

This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. -- 1 Samuel 18:8-9

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s jealous eye? It’s uncomfortable at best. Sometimes it can be downright terrifying.

Saul, the king the people had asked for, had lost God’s blessing. Instead, God had chosen David to be His king. Saul knew this. The prophet Samuel had told him. But it didn’t really seem to hit home until the women started singing and dancing and telling everyone that David had killed more enemies than their king. That’s enough to prick anyone’s ego, especially someone with a great deal of pride to go with that ego.

The root of jealousy is bound deeply into fear. Saul was afraid of losing his power, his kingdom, his pride. But he already had. And that drove him insane. Literally. Saul lost his mind as he focused his jealous eye on the man God had chosen to replace him.

Of course, jealousy can go the other way too. Have you ever been consumed with jealousy? Have you ever really been afraid that someone else was after your spouse or your job? Remember that jealousy stems from fear. What were you afraid you would lose?

Some jealous goings on are just plain ridiculous. I once had a woman close to me eye me with a hateful glare. I knew something was up but I couldn’t figure out what I’d done to upset her so much. It went on for a while. She finally couldn’t hold it in any longer and spilled the reason for her jealous hatefulness. She wanted to know why my lipstick stayed on and hers didn’t. I shared my “secret” and shook my head. Jealousy over lipstick! Go figure.

The dictionary says that jealousy happens when someone thinks of another person as a rival. Certainly, that was the case with Saul and David. Saul knew that David would one day claim his throne and there was nothing he could do about it.

Do you have a rival? Does someone want something you have? Or do you want something someone else has. Nothing good can ever come from jealousy. Nothing. It will drive you to insanity, destroy relationships, make you obsess over things that aren’t worth the effort. Stand firm against Satan’s pull. Whether you’re the one who is jealous or whether you’re on the receiving end, give it to God. That’s it. Just give it to God.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Stay Focused On God’s Will

Then Absalom would say, “You’ve really got a strong case here! It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it. I wish I were the judge. Then people could bring their problems to me, and I would give them justice!”

-- 2 Samuel 15:3-4

Absalom had already killed his brother. King David forgave his son and allowed him to return home. But Absalom just couldn’t let go of his bitterness and anger at his father. So Absalom decided to turn the people away from David and gain support for his plan to take the throne away from him.

Absalom couldn’t see beyond his own selfish desires and his father couldn’t or wouldn’t get his son under control. It was a bad situation that could only end with Absalom’s death. David was God’s anointed. Absalom was going to get rid of him.

Maybe David couldn’t have changed the outcome. Some people are determined to have what someone else has. Some people are determined to blame others for their own issues.

Years ago I worked for a marketing company. I traveled quite a bit but I wasn’t in charge. I liked it that way. I’d burned out in a high-pressured position at another company and I just wanted and needed a breather. I was pretty clear about that. Still, the company kept giving me more responsibility and pushing me to accept a higher position.

One of my co-workers took that quite personally. She had a Masters degree in film and dreamed of, well, I don’t really know. But something more than what she was. She decided I was a threat to her dream and she did everything she could to turn others against me. It didn’t work. She didn’t fool anyone and only hurt herself. It was just so silly and so sad.

King Jeroboam was very angry with the man of God for speaking against the altar. So he pointed at the man and shouted, “Seize that man!” But instantly the king’s hand became paralyzed in that position, and he couldn’t pull it back.” -- 1 Kings 13:4

Just like with my co-worker, people who try to harm others frequently have the situation turn against them. I’ve learned a lot about trusting God in those times. If God calls you to do something, no one can undermine or threaten you no matter how hard they try. God is in charge. Of course, the opposite is true as well. You will do what God calls you to do, whether you want to or not. You can ask Jonah about that.

So don’t worry about it when someone tries to turn your life upside-down. If you’re doing what God wants you to do, they don’t stand a chance.
　

Friday, May 6, 2011

Each Person Is Unique

Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. -- Galatians 6:4

Have you ever had someone else's jealous eyes focused on you? Have you ever been put down and condemned because someone else needed to make you less in order to try and make themselves better? It's not a lot of fun. In fact, it's downright uncomfortable.

Yet, here we are. Always wanting something someone else has, whether it's a promotion or a new dress or a house with a swimmng pool. Or maybe it's someone else's spouse, children or life. We think that if we have what someone else has, then we'll be happier, more fulfilled, accepted by the right people. It never works, of course.

I still remember the first time I felt the dagger of jealousy. It was over something stupid. Really. My lipstick stayed on all day and hers didn't. I shared the tip and the jealousy calmed itself. Until next time. Because there is always a next time. Unhappy people always seem to be looking elsewhere to change themselves.

I've learned to just get on with my life and try to follow the path God has laid out for me. I can't change how other people feel or how they react. I've also tried to quell my own jealousies. Because we all have them for time to time. The key is to recognize them and dismiss them as the foolishness they are.

God has gifted us all with different personalities, different skills and talents. We should use our unique abilities to do what God has called us to do. And let others do the same.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Jealousy Destroys

"When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and talked abusively against what Paul was saying." -- Acts 13:45

"But the Jews were jealous; so they rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, formed a mob and started a riot in the city."

-- Acts 17:5a

The Jews were certainly not happy with Paul. It was bad enough that someone who had once been a rising star in the rabbi world, had accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. But here he was preaching the gospel and people were listening. The crowds were excited. They were converting to christianity. Oh, yes, the Jews were really upset.

The Jewish leaders probably wouldn't have cared if no one had paid attention to Paul. They would have laughed it off. But they couldn't dismiss the crowds who came out day after day to hear Paul. Nor could they hide their jealousy. People didn't turn out like that to hear the Jewish leaders. So the Jews did what jealous people do -- they tried to destroy Paul and those who were helping him spread the good news.

Many of us have been on the receiving end of someone else's jealousy. A jealous person views you as a rival and, whether true or not, their only wish is to destroy. It doesn't matter if it's a relationship, job promotion or happiness. They'll take it away from you out of jealousy and spite. Jealousy has destroyed many families and many friendships.

Jealous people are enemies -- both of you and themselves. They allow their own insecurities to direct their lives. They view you as a threat when their greatest threat is actually themselves. They don't care if they destroy themselves while they're destroying you. They don't even see that part. They just want to cut you down so that they can feel better about themselves.

I pity jealous people. They really can't like themselves too much or they wouldn't be so insecure. That's where jealousy comes from. Insecurity. It comes when someone believes that the only way they can get people to notice them and approve of them, is if they cut you down. It's sad but also true.

Don't let a jealous person suck you into that destructive path. Stand firm and refuse to be less than who you are just so they can feel like they are more than who they are. Trust in God and pray for the jealous people in your life. Perhaps their eyes will open and they will see that they're on the wrong path. Maybe they'll reach out to God and turn away from their bitterness and unhappiness. Show them that life can be different when you shed your insecurities and jealousy and focus Jesus' gift to everyone.