July 14, 2018

Double Standards Anyone?

The LORD detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him.

– Proverbs 20:23

Come to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

– James 4:8

Okay, let’s all get our excuses out. “Everybody else does it.” “Well, so-and-so did it!” “I was just going along with everyone else.” “Well, it’s not against the law.” “I can handle it.”

Did you think of a few more? I’m sure you probably did. When it comes to making excuses for our actions, attitudes and words, we’re quick to justify ourselves.

Except there is no justification for doing something we know is wrong, no matter how many people do the same thing. There also is no justification for judging two people by two different standards.

We judge people we don’t know based on standards we don’t uphold. We don’t see it that way, of course. We’re too high up in our opinions to actually try and listen and understand another point of view. We shut their voices out. We’re disgusted by their views. We’re so busy being “right” that we can’t see how wrong we are.

Do you want to start a fight on Facebook? Just mention President Trump’s past marital indiscretions. The defense that comes from good Christians? Well, look at Bill Clinton.

Indeed, let’s look. Does one person’s bad behavior justify the bad behavior of another person? No. It doesn’t. Nor does it justify the sad fact that people who condemned Clinton – understandably – now make excuses for Trump. It’s called a double standard.

We’ve used it for years in politics and in social circles. Someone who is poor and an alcoholic is called every kind of name. No compassion is offered at all. Someone who is rich and an alcoholic gets offered sympathy and rehab and a hush-hush about it. News flash: An alcoholic is an alcoholic no matter how much money is involved.

It’s why for so long children in middle-class and upper-class homes were over looked when it came to abuse and neglect. We assumed it couldn’t happen in “good” neighborhoods like our own. We judged based on economics and appearance rather than fact and heart.

We do the same to justify our own behavior. Everyone fudges on their expense accounts, so what’s the big deal? Well, it was just a little white lie to make someone look good. It’s a cut-throat world and you’ve got to “get” someone before they do the same to you. My child has worked hard and deserves to be on the team, in the performance, or in the group. Besides, I give a lot of money to your organization. That can go away, you know.

Does any of this sound familiar? You’d be furious at anyone who did these things to you. Why do you think it’s okay to do them to someone else? Where did we ever get the idea that it was okay to judge with a double standard? Certainly not from God.

March 20, 2018

Double Standards Extinguish Light

A just balance and scales are the LORD’s; all the weights in the bag are his work. – Proverbs 16:11

The news caused barely a ripple in this conservative town. The President had lied to the leader of another country. He admitted it. And all the conservative Christians said nothing.

They are a vocal group, these folks I know. They are quick to point out, again and again, every sin from politicians on the other side of their aisle. But the standards are different when it is someone they support.

It isn’t the first time. Extramarital affairs are the norm in this man’s life. He does it again and again and again. No one says a word. If the media brings it up, then they are being mean and unfair to a good man.

Years after the fact they are still bad-mouthing a man who lied to cover up his own indiscretion. They are still condemning his wife for forgiving him and working to rebuild their marriage. Different standards? Without a doubt.

Why is it that we look past the bad behavior of some politicians and condemn the same behavior in others? Yet we don’t understand why the world around us doesn’t think too highly of Christians. They look at us and see hypocrisy but we can’t see the same thing in ourselves.

We fight to throw out foreigners God called us to be good to. We demand an end to support for the poor God called us to help. We respond with vengeance against those who do wrong, demanding justice rather than mercy and forgiveness. We seek to kill criminals and the broken, deny medical care to those without the means to pay for it, and cast aside the children who suffer through no fault of their own. In the next breath, we condemn abortion and call ourselves justified. Does no one see the double standard? Well, yes, the world sees it and turns away from God.

We pick and choose which of the Bible verses we will hold dear. We condemn homosexuality and throw out a verse to prove our point. We “forget” that God also condemns divorce unless it involves adultery or violence. We judge what was never our place to judge because it makes us uncomfortable. We don’t like different so we shove it aside rather than love where God has called us to love.

We cling to our possessions like they actually define us, forgetting they are gifts from God and not some “right” we have earned. We wallow in ourselves rather than reach out to the least, the broken, the widows and orphans in our midst. We choose who is “worthy” and ignore our own ignorance with a smile and a check to those we choose to care about.

And, yet, we don’t see the double standards in our own behavior. We don’t live with kindness and compassion in our hearts but rather with condescending judgment and hatred. We use God’s holy name to justify ourselves when He has no part in our ugliness. We push people away when God tells us to draw them near.

There is no politician that is either all good or all bad, just as there is no person who is all good or all bad. The same standards apply to everyone, whether we acknowledge that fact or not. Every time we cast a stone, we are holding ourselves up to a standard we’ve already failed to achieve. God judges evenly. Does that make you uncomfortable? It should.

January 18, 2018

Rid Yourself of Double Standards

The LORD detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him. – Proverbs 20:23

He snarls at me in disdain. Venom drips from a mouth that usually smiles as insincerely as his words. He has judged me and found me guilty. It infuriates him that I won’t confess my “sin.”

I shake my head and walk away. No matter how many lies he’s heard and told, those lies don’t become truth. My conscious is clear. I am not perfect. No way. But I did not do this vile thing he’s determined to blame on me.

I consider his own life as I walk away. It is in shambles. His dishonesty and venom have finally poisoned those closest to him. They have moved away, deciding that distance is better than the drama and turmoil that is a constant in his life.

It is easier to judge me and a situation that is really none of his business than to look in the mirror and judge himself. Do you know someone like that? Have you encountered someone determined to condemn you while making excuses for their own disasters?

Maybe you’ve been that person. It sure is easier to see the speck in someone else’s eye than to see the plank in our own. (Matthew 7:3) We make excuses for our own conduct while condemning someone else.

Another woman speaks highly of trust. She just can’t have a relationship with someone she can’t trust. I hold my tongue – barely. She is one of the least trustworthy people I know. She is a backstabber and a liar. She manipulates people for her own purposes. Yet she gets angry if someone else doesn’t behave as she things they should. She is blind to her own double standards.

It’s just so easy to judge others with a different measuring stick than the one we judge ourselves with.

We hate lies but we told one today rather than admit to our friend that we went on an adventure without them. We can’t abide excuses yet that’s just what we offer up when we fail to do what we’ve promised our kids we would do. We preach a sermon to anyone who will listen but we don’t live our own lives with integrity.

None of us are perfect. None of us have all the answers. And not one of us truly knows the heart of another person. It doesn’t stop us from judging.

The next time you’re inclined to condemn someone else, take a moment to look in the mirror. What do you see? A flawed person who has made his share of mistakes. Close your mouth and ask God for forgiveness for the double standard that lives in your heart.