June 16, 2018

What Are You Teaching?

“What is it you want?” he asked.

She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” – Matthew 20:21

The mother of James and John wanted what all parents want for their children. She wanted her sons to be in positions of power and honor when Jesus gained His kingdom. She wanted her sons to be first over the other disciples and all other followers of Jesus.

She really didn’t know what she was asking. Jesus pointed that out. Besides, positions in heaven are determined by God the Father. It doesn’t stop us from trying to get ahead though, does it?

You don’t have to be a parent to want the children you care about to succeed and excel at all they do. You’ll do anything to position them in the right place, with the right people, with the right resources for high achievement.

We teach them that they are worthy of the best. We tell them that they deserve success. And we show them that if they’ll just go along, we’ll make sure they get it served up for them on a silver platter.

Did anyone sputter over that? All defensive parents please raise your hand. Now, go ahead and remind me that I don’t have children and I don’t know how much you love your children. I just don’t understand.

When you’re done, I will remind you that Jesus tells us to serve others rather than be served. I will remind you that in God’s kingdom, the first will be last and the last will be first. And I will remind you that sometimes the worst thing you can do for anyone is carry them rather than have them stand on their own and learn how to live a righteous life.

There was a Facebook thing the other day that said something like this: Discipline your children and spoil your grandchildren. Spoil your children and raise your grandchildren. There’s a great deal of truth in that.

There’s a huge difference between helping someone and enabling them. People of all ages must learn that actions have consequences. It’s the only way anyone learns to make wise choices.

But we don’t want those we care about, especially the children in our lives, to ever suffer the consequences of their bad choices. Especially when the consequences are severe. We want to protect them from the bad. That’s natural. But when we do that we teach them something that isn’t the reality of life. Are we then truly surprised when they fail adulthood?

Parents are meant to guide and protect their children from harm. That doesn’t mean do everything for them and keep them from ever having to suffer for bad choices. We are raising children who feel entitled. I know. Not all children. Not your children. But are you sure?

I have watched friends do without basics so their children can have the latest phone, shoes and clothing. I have watched friends work second and third jobs to provide luxuries, while their children sit at home and play games. The kids are oblivious to the sacrifices their parents are making. Or, maybe, they just don’t care.

James and John’s mother only wanted the best for her sons. She didn’t understand the price they would pay. Jesus did. Do you understand the price your children will pay if you don’t teach them and guide them through childhood, refusing to save them from everything or providing you can’t afford and they really don’t need?

Kids are smart and observant and quick to learn. But it’s up to us to teach them the right way to live.

April 19, 2018

What Behavior Do You Model?

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. – Deuteronomy 4:9

The elementary school was hosting a book fair and they needed volunteers. Lots of volunteers. Why so many, I asked. Because some children will steal the books if we don’t keep a careful watch.

My mind was shocked. My heart was broken. It’s a sad reality of our world today. Children aren’t being taught right from wrong. School administrators rarely do anything about it because they don’t get support from the parents. They can’t discipline the children effectively when the parents defend their “innocent” children rather than make them take responsibility.

My Sunday school class has a large container of small candy. We store it in the back of a closed cabinet so it is not readily available or visible to anyone. One year during Vacation Bible School every piece of candy went missing. This would equal several large bags of candy.

We were upset and mystified. It wasn’t about the candy. That’s easily replaceable. It was that someone would think it okay – at church even! We eventually learned what happened, though not the name of the culprit. A young boy had taken all the candy home. His mother asked about it but he lied and said we’d given it to him. She apparently let it go and did nothing. A few “teachers” knew what happened. They, too, did nothing.

The boy was never held accountable for his actions. By letting it go, by not creating a scene, what did we teach him? Again, it wasn’t about the candy. It was about responsibility and learning right from wrong. An apology to our class would have gone a long way toward him understanding that you can’t just help yourself to something that belongs to someone else. Even at church.

Why didn’t the VBS teachers do anything? They didn’t want to make anyone mad. They didn’t want to push the youngster away from church. Instead of using the incident to teach him about God’s rules – Thou Shalt Not Steal – they opted to teach him about mercy. But forgiveness doesn’t mean we forgo the consequences. That’s a lesson he’ll one day learn in a much harsher environment.

Maybe we don’t hold children accountable because we don’t want to be held accountable. We want to help ourselves to office supplies from work. We want to “borrow” something from a friend or neighbor and never return it. We want to lie about something rather than admit we were wrong. The list could go on and on.

What are we teaching our children? What behavior are we modeling for them? Are you honest and merciful? Do you take responsibility for your mistakes? Do you tell the truth even when you’d rather not? Whether you realize it or not, your children are watching and learning. Make the lesson be behavior necessary to help them become honest people of God.

May 21, 2016

Jesus Loves You

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. -- 1 John 3:1

Our family attended a small country church when I was a small child. It was a long time ago and something I barely remember. By the time I was in school, we’d stopped going to church.

What I do remember though is that my great aunt took time with me. There were no other children my age but she thought I was worth teaching. Maybe it was an effort to keep my parents going to the church. I’ll never know.

She taught me a children’s song. Even now the words and melody come to mind: Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.

That song has comforted me more times than I could ever say. The words are a reminder that no matter what else happens in this life, Jesus loves me. That is something I can count on. He is someone I can depend on.

We all have stories to tell of the times we weren’t accepted, the times our feelings got hurt, the times we tried something and failed. No one goes through life without suffering in some way.

I spent my childhood trying to be invisible. At least at home. It was not a bad life. I was grateful for that. I just knew I wasn’t loved or wanted. I was fed and clothed. I had school supplies and a swing with chains I wore out again and again. It could have been so much worse.

The song echoed in my mind at night as I closed my eyes to sleep. It was a reminder that I was not alone and that somebody loved me. Jesus. I wasn’t quite sure who He was but I clung to the fact that He loved me.

A sweet friend is going through a devastating divorce. Her husband left her for another woman. We remind her that she is loved, by us and by Jesus. She is worthy. She is beautiful. She is a child of God.

I don’t know what you are facing today, what you have faced in the past or what tomorrow will bring. But know this: Jesus loves you. You are a child of God. Beloved. Cherished. Worthy of all things good. Hold on to that.

In the darkest of nights, when Satan’s lies rear up, remember who you are. He loves you. He really, really loves you.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Teachers Follow God’s Call

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. -- James 3:1

It’s been almost a year since God called me to teach an adult Sunday school class. I heard His call but I never expected it would be this particular class. God amazes me. I don’t know why. He knows exactly what He’s doing.

There have been so many times when I doubted myself. I still do. I love to read and study the Bible but I always compare myself to Biblical scholars with fancy degrees. I don’t know nearly enough. I doubt I ever will.

The first Sunday that I taught, I looked over and saw one man busy on his iphone. His wife wanted to know what he was doing. Without so much as a pause, I told her he was checking to make sure I knew what I was talking about. The shock on his face still brings a chuckle to my mind. It was exactly what he was doing. He just didn’t think I would know.

I don’t blame him. I’d want to know if my new Sunday school teacher knew what she was talking about too. In that particular case, it was just before Easter and I used material from a small group study I was taking. It was a good beginning. I loved the material and had learned a lot, so I was eager to share it.

I wish I could say that it has all been smooth and easy. Not so much though. Some Sundays are wonderful, the discussion is animated and on point. Other Sundays it’s a battle to get the class involved in the topic.

I always ask God to give me words. I want to say what He wants, not what I want. God knows the hearts and minds of each individual in the class. He knows the hurts and heartaches they’re facing. I want so much for each class member to learn and grow. But that’s up to them and to God.

Some weeks keeping to the topic is a challenge at best. I have to be conscious that we’re following God’s agenda and not someone else’s. One man chuckled the other day, saying that I’d lost control again. He meant the class discussion had gone it’s own way. But really, it hadn’t. They were involved and if the order of my bullet points got changed around, so what?

Other weeks are just such a blessing. We discussed forgiving our enemies and I could feel the healing as the questions and discussion took place. We reviewed Scriptures and we talked about how hard it is. And that some times forgiving is a process that begins anew each day.

Some days I wonder what in the world I’m doing teaching a Sunday school class. Then I laugh. I’m teaching because God told me to. And I pray that I’ll continue to follow His lead in all things but especially in this so that all of us may learn and grow closer to the One who created us all.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Teach the Next Generation

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

-- Titus 2:3-5

The preacher was frustrated. He really wanted the women of his congregation to restart a group geared toward missions. One woman considered herself in charge. Her husband was chairman of the deacons and she viewed herself as leader of the women. Except she wasn't leading anybody anywhere.

It was understandable. She was older. She was used to being in charge. She wanted everything done her way. And, frankly, she didn't want any part of the work that comes with restarting a program. Nor did she want anyone else to do it. The woman was full of excuses. The women were getting older. No one was interested. Time was such an issue. And on and on. How sad.

At another church, one woman felt God had called her to restart the same program. She was a retired teacher with more than her share of family responsibilities. She did it for a year, calling on everyone, young and old, to help her. The next year she passed the torch to another woman of about the same age. Again, someone with plenty of experience from years past with the same group. They encouraged all women, young and old, to participate. The following year a much younger woman took the helm. She'd learned how to do things from those who went before her, the same ones standing beside her and helping her every step of the way. Older women teaching younger women how to serve the Lord. What a blessing for all of them.

The same type of blessing the church without the missions group is missing, all because one woman is fighting it. She's focused on self, rather than God. She isn't willing to reach out to younger women, to teach, to pass the torch. That's how wonderful groups stop doing wonderful things.

I hope God will convict this woman and that she'll either help restart the group or get out of the way and let someone else do it. God's work. That's what it's all about.