Put
People First
If
anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for
them. – James 4:17
Sometimes you just do
what you need to do. It’s rarely convenient. It’s always draining. Sometimes it’s
costly. You do it anyway.
Yesterday was one of
those days. I planned a quick hospital stop. It turned in to several hours.
Unfortunately, I have experience with hospitals, doctors, hospice, end of life
discussions. Sometimes you just don’t even know what questions to ask. My
experience means I do. I was needed, so I stayed.
Then there was a need
to take an elderly person to another town to visit his disabled daughter. Her
mother will never go again and this dear man had a desperate desire to see his
youngest child. For obvious reasons, the other children were reluctant to leave
their dying mother. Of course, I drove him.
My day didn’t go as
planned. Things that needed to be done, didn’t get done. I can’t really say I
made a choice but, I guess, I obviously did. I hope I always choose people
first.
The hospital room was a
gathering of those who love and care. The absence of another child was the
unspoken hurt. He was busy. How often have I seen that? Excuses thrown out
because one person chooses to let others carry their load. How can anyone make
that choice?
Again and again it
happens. We get so caught up in ourselves, our own lives, our own desires, that
we miss an opportunity to put people first. Our loved ones suffer because we don’t
want the inconvenience a sudden illness brings. But isn’t that what family is
all about? Isn’t that what true friendship really is?
I guess I’m of the age and
experience that I just don’t want to hear the excuses. I’ve carried a load that
I should never have borne alone. I have known the deep fatigue that comes when
your only desire is to get through another day bearing responsibilities that
threaten to overwhelm you. I know the anguish of crying out to God for help,
for relief, for strength, when your shattered heart is simply too weary to
heal.
Yesterday I watched a
hospital case manager try to be perky in a room filled with death. I have
witnessed a doctor refuse to meet with more than two family members. I have
watched a family keep vigil while doctors guessed and make predictions that
they should never have made.
I wonder where kindness
and compassion went? It was certainly evident in the tears of a nurse who
explained she’d walked their path before. It was evident in a younger nurse who
was quick to explain her actions and respond to questions. It was evident in
the honest answers from a doctor who’d been called in to consult.
But most of the time it
simply wasn’t there. One child remarked that she was horribly offended by the
party atmosphere some visitors displayed. Oh, how I understood that. A death vigil
is no place for loud conversations or visiting. It grates on those who truly
care. It hurts to know that others might be family or friends but their
careless words show their emotions never go deeper than the surface.
Some days we are called
to be Jesus to someone who is desperately hurting. Some days we are called to
be inconvenienced to help someone else. Some days we are called to sit quietly
and grieve with a hurting family. Don’t miss your chance. Don’t make an excuse.
Just show up. Putting people first is always the right choice.
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