December 19, 2018

Excuses

Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head.

– 1 Samuel 17:38

He was only a shepherd boy. Sure. He’d been anointed by Samuel but he was still the same boy. He’d come to bring bread and cheese to his brothers, who were on the front lines of the fight against the Philistines.

Except no one wanted to take on Goliath. No one was willing to challenge the giant and almost certainly die. Except for the boy whose trust in God was so great that he believed God would show His glory by allowing him to defeat Goliath.

David’s brothers were angry and believed their little brother was showing out. I suppose it was easier to be offended than to face the reality that their youngest sibling was braver than they were.

King Saul agreed to let David try. This was long before he turned on David and tried to have him killed. Saul offered David his personal armor. His intentions were good but David didn’t need Saul’s armor. He wasn’t accustomed to it and the very items meant to protect David would have hindered him.

How often do we try to add resources to what God has already provided? He’s equipped us for what He has called us to do but we’re still making excuses. We’re certain that we need something more, something better, something that will insure victory. It’s easier to trust in a coat of armor than a God we know but don’t see.

Faith calls us to something greater.

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give all of you into our hands.” – 1 Samuel 17:45-47

David wasn’t arrogant because of his own abilities. He simply knew with deep certainty that God would show up. What would you do if you knew with that deep certainty that God would show up? Why do you doubt?

We’re all good at making excuses for not doing what we know God has called us to do. We want the perfect time. We want all the perfect resources. We want to be in the perfect frame of mind. We want a reason not to try because when we try we reveal the depth of our faith.

Do you believe? Really? Truly? Then what are you waiting for? God has already given you everything you need to do what He has called you to.

July 29, 2018

Forever Friends Remain

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

– 1 Samuel 18:1

One of the most beautiful friendships found in the Bible is that between David and Jonathan. It was a friendship that should have been torn apart by power and greed, by an insecure King Saul, and other exterior events and circumstances. But it endured.

We are blessed to have friends that stand with us as time and circumstances change. The sad reality is that most do not.

Perhaps, too, we call people close friends when the reality is that they are only with us for a season of life. It doesn’t mean we don’t care or that they don’t care. It’s just that when what bound us together changes or ends, there’s nothing left but history and nowhere else to go.

Think about the friends you made when you both had children attending the same school, the same classes, the same afterschool activities. When the children grow up, what do you have left in common with those friends? Maybe one child goes away to college while another gets married and has a precious grandchild. Suddenly, people who had so much in common don’t really share anything in common anymore.

Or consider the close friends who have moved away. Very few friendships survive great distance. It’s possible, of course. But the sad reality is that friendships require time and attention. We get so caught up with our daily lives that we can’t sustain the effort a long-distance friendship requires.

Some friendships are only for a season. Perhaps one person was going through a divorce, a season of grief, or a health crisis. When the person finds a new love or regains his health, the friendship changes. The need isn’t there anymore. Some people need to be needed and when that changes, so does the friendship.

And then there are those friends who are there for life. They don’t need to fix you or change you. They quickly defend you, support your decisions, laugh at your bad jokes. They’re the people who will drop everything and rush to help you. You’d do the same for them. And they’re people who don’t need to monopolize your time, or you theirs, for the friendship to remain solid and strong.

The Bible tells us we need such friends in our lives. The course is rocky and some days just leave us battered and bruised. We need people to sustain us. And we need people to laugh with us. We need people for celebration and joy just as much as we need people with a box of Kleenex and wise advice.

God has blessed me with wonderful people in my life. I hope you are blessed as well. True friendship is a treasure to be valued as the greatest of gifts.

And if seasons change and other friendships end, let them go. Don’t cling to what will never be again. Simply cherish the friends who remain.

April 28, 2018

God Controls Life and Death

The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. – 1 Samuel 2:6

I had done all that I could. It was in God’s hands. That was my last prayer of the night. Whether the little calf lived or died was up to God.

The calf died. I found it early this morning. It hadn’t been dead long. The calf was barely past newborn. She simply failed to thrive and nothing I did helped. Her mama was beyond distraught. There was nothing I could do.

My cousin tells me I get too attached to the cows. He’s right. I know that. But I’ve never reached the point where I can detach and not care. I hope I never do.

We’d like to think we can control the outcome of just about everything. But the truth is we can only do our best and trust God with the rest. That’s true for everyone, including doctors. They do their best and still sometimes death comes.

It’s easy to see God’s power in life and in death. We can’t restore a life that has gone. But God is in control, sitting on His throne, in everything we do. Look around. Can’t you see the evidence of Him? God is everywhere. We need only open our eyes and look.

I take comfort in His Presence on this long hard day, one that followed several long, hard days. When a calf is sick, everything else gets pushed to the back so that I can do all I can to try and save her life.

The same is true with people. When someone you love is sick, suddenly your schedule, your entire life, gets shifted around. Priorities change. Your life becomes hospitals and rehab and home health and doctor appointments. You become well-versed in language you’d never heard before. You pick up on the slightest changes. You have to. Life and death are unforgiving task masters.

I know not everyone sees it this way. Some people barely change anything. They are content to sit back and let someone else do the day to day tasks. They aren’t interested in keeping an all-night vigil or days spent loading and unloading a wheelchair and helping someone get from appointment to appointment.

It’s sad what they miss. There is pain and frustration, inconvenience and loss of income. There are a million different tasks waiting every single day. Juggling becomes a lifestyle. It’s just how it is.

But there is joy too. There is honor in caring for someone you love when they can no longer do it for themselves. There is a painful satisfaction that comes when the day is done and you know that you did all you could. No one can take that from you.

I wanted that little calf to live. She was beautiful and sweet and I wanted her to grow up and have babies of her own. God had a different plan. I’ve come to accept that sometimes death comes no matter how hard we try to prevent it. God is in control. I love and trust His Holy Name. On sad days like this, that really is all that matters.

February 2, 2018

Speak Truth

Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision. – 1 Samuel 3:15

Have you ever hesitated to give someone bad news? Have you ever hesitated to say something, hoping secretly that you were wrong but knowing in your heart that you weren’t?

It’s difficult to hurt someone you love. It’s hard to tell someone that the person they love is dying. It hurts to share a truth to someone struggling. We want to turn away. We tell ourselves it’s not our place. And, yet, there it is. That loud voice inside that insists we must.

I have grown weary of being the strong one. I am tired of being the caregiver, the advocate, the one who pushes for answers that are slow to come and devastating to hear. I wish God would send someone else. I just don’t want anymore sadness in my life.

But here I am. Once again playing a role I never chose because no one else will step forward to fill the shoes. I see the blinders all around me. I wish denial could make it go away. Death knocks whether we are ready or not.

Another friend struggles with a wayward son. He is out of jail. Again. We hope and pray that this time it will be different. I pray she will remain strong and not give in to the need to “fix” everything for her child. Her “little” boy is past 40. He needs space to grow into the man he might be. She can only see the failure that has blotted his life.

Truth is a hard thing to speak. No matter what, he is her child. And no matter how many times she tells us she is strong, we know she isn’t. So we surround her with love and prayers and gentle truths she doesn’t want to hear.

The days to come will tell us all if she has heard anything we’ve said. The weeks will show whether this time he’ll make different choices and leave his addictions to the past. Their choices to make. Our truths to share.

Recently we’ve heard so much about the parents arrested for abusing their children. For years and years and years those children were denied food and some were chained up. We ask where were the other family members? Didn’t anyone see anything suspicious? Why didn’t they speak up?

We tell ourselves it’s none of our business. We reassure our gut that the child who killed kittens couldn’t possibly have anything really wrong with him. We ignore the signs of something terribly wrong. We are afraid to give our words a voice.

We are not called to fear. Or to silence. Or to turning the other way when we see something wrong. We are called to live our faith boldly, to care and to offer up kindness and compassion right along with guidance and truth.

This week I had a hard conversation with a mother not ready to hear the truth. It wasn’t easy for either of us but the words needed to be said. There was no point in giving her false hope. There was no need to lead her to believe she had time that wasn’t coming. It was better that she be allowed to cherish the days that she has left with her child rather than mourn what she missed.

Speak truth, in kindness and love, wherever you can. If the Holy Spirit has put it on your heart, there’s a reason. Listen. Then speak.

May 22, 2016

Wait For God’s Timing

As for Saul, he was still in Gilgal, and all the people followed him trembling. 8 Then he waited seven days, according to the time set by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal; and the people were scattered from him. 9 So Saul said, “Bring a burnt offering and peace offerings here to me.” And he offered the burnt offering. -- 1 Samuel 13:7-9

Saul was under a lot of pressure. He was facing a crucial battle and his people were afraid. And where was Samuel? The priest was supposed to arrive any time but where was he?!

So Saul did what many of us would do under those circumstances: He took matters into his own hands and offered the sacrifice himself rather than waiting for the priest.

It was a bad, bad move. Saul meant well. He did. But good intentions didn’t erase the fact that Saul had disobeyed God and violated His law.

Then, to make matters worse, Saul tried to blame it on his people for scattering and Samuel for not coming earlier. That’s also something we’re prone to do. Sometimes it’s really hard to admit when we’ve made a mistake.

Today’s sermon was on naming the sin so that we can deal with it. When we don’t actually admit what we’ve done, we can’t get past it. We can’t deal with it.

That’s one of the first things people in recovery learn. And by recovery I don’t just mean drugs and alcohol. It could be someone suffering from overeating or depression. It could also be jealousy or envy. The key is that no one can heal until we admit that we have a problem.

It’s also harder to forgive someone who won’t admit what he’s done. Saul wanted to point fingers. Yes, his people were scattering because they were afraid. Yes, he was facing a crucial battle and was concerned he would lose his army before it started. And, yes, Samuel ended up arriving later than Saul expected. That’s a lot of pressure, even for a king.

But it’s when pressure hits that our true character comes forward. Saul didn’t trust God. He didn’t. Because if he had, Saul would have known God would send the priest to provide an offering before the battle. Saul knew Samuel was coming. His only task was to wait.

We’re not good at waiting for God’s timing. In this instant society, we want results now. We fail God when we don’t wait for His timing.

Good intentions done the wrong way are still wrong. Denying that, pointing fingers, doesn’t change that simple fact. Wait for God. Follow His direction. Then watch His blessings freely flow.

April 13, 2016

True Friendship Is Priceless

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. -- 1 Samuel 20:42

Friendship. It’s more valuable than any amount of jewels. It means more than any amount of money. It carries you through the tough times and brings laughter during the good times.

I just got off the phone with a dear friend I rarely see. I haven’t spoken to her in months and yet we talked for more than a hour. It wasn’t idle chit chat. We can share our hearts, picking up where we left off no matter how long it’s been.

It’s just like that with some people. They matter to you and you matter to them. Maybe your lives aren’t the same anymore but your hearts are. That’s where the real connection lives.

David and Jonathan loved each other as brothers. They shouldn’t have. At least that’s the conclusion if you look at their friendship from the outside looking in. David was God’s chosen one, the man who would be king. Jonathan was the king’s son and next in line to the throne.

You would expect a power struggle. You would expect a jealous fight. You would expect them to betray each other in their battle to be king. Never happened. They were friends until the end and, even then, David brought Jonathan’s son to his own table and treated him as family.

True friendship is like that. You take care of one another. Distance comes and goes but you still take care of each other.

Another dear friend recently lost her mother. I haven’t seen her in a while. Our lives are filled with care giving and work and all the details of a busy life. And, yet, I would drop everything to rush to her side if she needed me. She would do the same. We’ve been friends since we were small children. Those are pretty strong bonds.

Everyone needs people in their lives they can count on. For some fortunate people, family fills that role. For others, friends become the family everyone needs. A few fortunate folks have both. I hope you have people you can count on. If you don’t, ask God to help you find friends that are dependable and true. They are priceless.

April 12, 2016

A Time To Move On

The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.” -- 1 Samuel 16:1

How long does it take you to get over something? It’s not a trick question. Everyone is different. But sometimes we can get so caught up in the past, that we can’t let it go and move on.

I’ve always admired people who are able to shake the past off and move on. I’m a clinger until I’m done and then, well, I’m done. For good. What about you?

The prophet Samuel was mourning Saul. The king had gone against God’s instructions so God decided that Saul no longer would rule the Israelites. God is God. When He decides something, that’s it.

Samuel had a harder time moving on. God gave him some time and then pushed him forward. God had things for Samuel to do, like go anoint David as the new king.

There is a time to mourn. There is a time to move on. A sweet friend went through a devastating divorce last year. She struggled mightily. Then she met someone and now she’s remarried. Happy. She has moved on. Will it work out? I don’t know. No one does. But she wanted to move forward and she did. I admire that.

Some people want to dwell on a past they can’t change. They want to rehash it again and again, as though somehow they’ll come up with explanations or a way to change it all. Life doesn’t work that way. We can’t go back. We can’t rewrite the past.

Saul betrayed God. Saul decided he knew better than God and it didn’t work out so well for him. There was no going back. There was no undoing what he’d already done. God moved on and that was that.

Why did God choose David, a ruddy faced boy, to be the next king? Think about it. David was a man after God’s own heart. David’s heart was right. Was he perfect? Obviously not. But David loved God and that, along with confession and repentance, make up for a lot of things.

What are you holding on to? Let it go. Give it to God and then let it go. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to move on. And sometimes that’s the best thing you can do.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Let God Encourage You

But David found strength in the LORD his God.

-- 1 Samuel 30:6b

David understood what it was like to be alone, without support, without anyone in his corner. What he did in that moment is a lesson to us all. David turned to God and so should we.

Let’s take a look at David’s life so we can truly understand what he faced. King Saul was trying to kill David so David had fled for his life. He had a band of 400 ragtag warriors. They’d gone to offer their services to the Philistines and had returned to Ziklag only to find that the town had been destroyed by the Amalekites, who also had taken all their wives and children.

As is usually the case when things go wrong, somebody was going to get blamed. And that person was David. In fact, his warriors were talking about stoning him to death. This is the point where David turned to God for strength. Can you relate? Do you know how it feels to have the world turn on you, whether it’s justified or not?

“Life had reduced his options to one,” David Jeremiah writes in his book The Joy of Encouragement. “Sooner or later, life does that to all of us.”

Yes, it does. How you handle that moment will determine whether you continue to follow God or whether you give Satan a foothold in your life.

Jeremiah gives some pretty basic advice on what to do when you’re all alone and need encouragement. First, spend time alone with God. Turn off the television, get the earplugs out of your ears and power off your computer. Close the door. Go for a walk. Get somewhere by yourself so that in the stillness you can hear God’s voice.

Second, turn to the Bible. It’s the best life manual you’ll ever own. Make sure that you get a translation you can easily understand and then read it. Jeremiah notes that sometimes it seems we’re more interested in reading a book about the Bible than we are in actually reading the Bible. So start reading.

Where do you look in the Bible for encouragement? Look to the psalms of David. Try Psalm 27:1. Or Psalm 34:4. Consider Psalm 46:1-3. And, again, listen to God. He will lead you to what you need, when you need it.

Lastly, Jeremiah suggests music. It’s such a simple suggestion. And one I’ve used numerous times without ever really thinking about it. When I’m hurting or discouraged, I seek out music that will inspire me and remind me of God’s love.

We can remember that God is with us, walking beside us, or we can blindly lose hope. We can hold on to what we know or we can believe the naysayers all around us. We can build ourselves up or allow Satan -- by using our minds and other people -- to tear us down. Our lives are full of choices. Which choice will you make?

Sunday, August 5, 2012

God Sends An Amazing Blessing

“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.” -- 1 Samuel 1:27

They longed for a child to call their own. Physically it wasn’t possible. They prayed and filled out adoption forms. They endured grueling interviews and testing. It was one obstacle after another.

They volunteered at church. The children gave them hugs and high fives. They laughed and sang. And they loved it all. Still, their hearts were as empty as the quiet home they returned to each night.

Then a call came from an unexpected source. A woman was looking for a couple to adopt her unborn child. They met and it seemed like a perfect fit. Excitement grew as the possibility of an infant, something they had never imagined in their search for a child, became a reality.

Then another phone call and the woman had changed her mind. They were heartbroken but refused to let Satan have a foothold. They clung to their faith, to God and each other. And they moved on, once again seeking God’s will as they sought a child or two to fill their lives and call their own.

Another phone call. The woman had made a mistake. She’d started going to church and spent time in prayer and discussion with the pastor and his wife. She didn’t want to be a mother. She wanted the couple to take her baby as their own.

They prayed and cried, afraid their hearts couldn’t survive if she changed her mind again. But they decided to go forward. To embrace this blessing that God had offered to them. They announced their decision to their church family. Everyone prayed. A baby shower was planned.

The tiny little boy came a couple of weeks early but they were ready and waiting. A blessing from God that they never could have imagined. They held their tiny son and remembered again how faithful God is to bless those who are faithful to Him.

It is reminiscent of a story of long ago when a woman named Hannah prayed that God would give her a child, a son. And God heard her and granted her wish. Just as God heard the heartfelt prayers of this wonderful couple.

Sometimes we get frustrated because God doesn’t grant our wishes immediately. Sometimes, just maybe, it’s because He has something better in mind for us if only we’ll stay faithful and wait a little longer.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Give God Your Undivided Attention

The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” -- 1 Samuel 3:10

One of the most profound things you will ever learn is this: The television has an OFF button. So does your cell phone. And your laptop can be powered down as well.

That isn’t what you were expecting me to say. I know. But it doesn’t make it any less profound. I really don’t know when we decided that we “had” to be available to everyone 24 hours every day. Because we don’t.

Now understand that I’m not talking about parents with small children. Obviously, they must be cared for. Same goes for those of us with other caretaking responsibilities. We must be reachable -- in an emergency.

My point here is that in order to hear God we must first learn to be quiet. And that is far, far harder than it sounds.

When I first started reading my Bible, I did so with the television on. Nobody told me not to. Besides, it was easier that way. I didn’t have to hear all the scary parts. I didn’t have to face myself, alone, with only God speaking His truth.

Then my life started disintegrating. A sudden death of a loved one. A job change. A cross-country move. And a shattering end to all my dreams. It’s funny how that works. When nothing is left, God is there. Every time. He meets you where you are, including the silence of a failed life.

The other day a young woman expressed her frustration at not hearing God’s voice. She’s seeking answers and guidance and still she hears nothing. Well, nothing except her cell phone and her facebook friends. She wants God to speak to her, but she isn’t yet willing to give Him her undivided attention.

We like to believe we can do both. We can’t. As I drive down the interstate or through different towns, I repeatedly see people who are talking on the phone. They are texting. They are distracted but they don’t realize it. They don’t see their speed slowing down. They don’t think they veered into the other lane.

We’re like that. We think we’re paying attention to God. We believe we’re totally focused on what He has to say. But we aren’t willing to give Him everything we’ve got, even for the short time it might take to really hear what He has to say.

So turn off the television. Leave your cell phone in the other room. Forget the computer for a while. Find a quiet place, free from distractions (even if it’s your walk-in closet or the bathroom) and seek God’s voice. You’ll be amazed at what you hear when you finally give God your undivided attention.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Life Brings Changes

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There is no way you can go against this Philistine. You are only a boy, and he has been in the army since he was a boy!” -- 1 Samuel 17:33

One of the most difficult parts of aging is coming to terms with things you are no longer able to do. It’s difficult to accept help you do not want. It’s difficult to admit that life is changing in a way you’d rather not face.

It happens to all of us. We spend our childhood and youth learning to be independent. Then we spend our later years learning to be dependent yet again. It can be a sad journey. Or it can be a remarkable journey. I am reminded that when God closes one door, He always opens another.

Several years ago I attended a church function that included a potluck lunch. One dear woman brought two or three dishes. It’s what she had always done, though one dish was plenty and no one would have said a word had she brought nothing. This woman is in her 90s. She’s done so long and so much for so many people. Yet she couldn’t seem to let go of doing what she’d done all her life.

That particular day she rested her head on the table. She was too weak to enjoy the program. She’d overdone it that morning cooking food. I sat down and spoke with her, being kind but firm. I didn’t say anything her children hadn’t already told her. It’s just that sometimes it’s easier to hear from someone else.

She’s a widow now. And she still attends many functions. She no longer takes food and someone drives her to and from whatever is taking place. We’re all thrilled to have her with us. She’s such an inspiration. And I think she’s finally come to understand that the blessing of her presence is all we really want from her. As I told her that day, “You’ve done so much for so many people, let us do for you now. It’s our time and our privilege.”

I’m not trying to say it’s easy. It’s not. I sure wish I could physically do the things I did even 10 years ago. I can’t. It’s frustrating. But I’ve also learned to ask for help. Most of the time anyway. I’ve found that it sometimes makes other people feel needed and useful when they know that you truly need what they can give.

I’m not a child anymore, pretending to be an adult. Nor am I yet an elderly person valued for my wisdom. I’m a worker who focuses on getting things done. And sometimes that means taking over tasks that someone else can no longer do. It’s not a burden. It’s being useful and needed. It’s how God planned our lives to be.

So look around and see where you’re at in life. Do what you can, where you can. And when it’s time to let go of a task you can no longer do, let it go graciously. Let someone else step up. And if you’re that person who’s stepping up, be kind and gentle. Value the task you’ve been given because one day, you too will be called to step aside for

Friday, October 7, 2011

God Is In Control

David didn’t leave one person alive in the villages he attacked. He took the sheep, cattle, donkeys, camels, and clothing before returning home to see King Achish. -- 1 Samuel 27:9

We don’t think too much of King David as murderer. Oh, sometimes we remember that he sent Bathsheba’s husband to the front lines of war to make sure he died. Maybe we excuse that because he married Bathsheba, their baby died as punishment, and they later had a son, Solomon, who became a wise king. But murderer? We don’t use that term to describe David.

During this passage of Scripture, David went to live with the Philistines to get away from Saul. God didn’t sent him there. David was just tired and afraid. He was running away. Most of us can relate to that. At some point, we all run away from something. Sure you do. It doesn’t have to be physically moving in the opposite direction. Avoidance counts as another way of running away.

Beth Moore brings up an interesting point in her study on David. She suggests that he killed all the people in the towns he raided not just to keep them from talking but because he needed to feel like he had some control over his life. He couldn’t kill Saul because the king was God’s anointed. And he couldn’t kill his enemies the Philistines because he needed to live in their country for safety. So he killed the people in the towns he raided.

Lack of control causes us to do quite a few things that can seem out of character. Someone who isn’t in control in her marriage, might exert extreme control over her children. A man who is a lowly employee may need to rule his family with a iron hand. We humans need to have control over something. Don’t we?

But what happens when we don’t have something to control? We lash out at someone or something. Really. Even you. Ever yelled at the dog because someone else did something you didn’t like? Ever lashed out at your child because your boss made you mad? Most of us have gotten upset with the wrong person because we just needed to get all that anger and frustration out of us. Because feeling out of control is scary and unnerving and we don’t want to be in that place.

Except we’re never in control of anything. Thing about it. God is the only one with complete control. Really. Everything else is just illusion and fantasy. It’s why some days I start with a plan and, at the end of the day, nothing I planned came to be. You probably know exactly what I’m talking about.

David’s real issue, though, wasn’t about control. It was about trust. David didn’t trust God to keep him safe from Saul. I understand that too. God waited 15 years to end Saul’s life. But God didn’t abandon David during that time. Instead, God allowed David to mature and learn how to be a king.

So next time you’re tempted to lash out or take extreme control in a situation, don’t. God knows what He’s doing. Look around. Seek His wisdom and His lesson. He’s with you and don’t ever doubt that God is in control.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Nothing Good Comes From Jealousy

This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. -- 1 Samuel 18:8-9

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s jealous eye? It’s uncomfortable at best. Sometimes it can be downright terrifying.

Saul, the king the people had asked for, had lost God’s blessing. Instead, God had chosen David to be His king. Saul knew this. The prophet Samuel had told him. But it didn’t really seem to hit home until the women started singing and dancing and telling everyone that David had killed more enemies than their king. That’s enough to prick anyone’s ego, especially someone with a great deal of pride to go with that ego.

The root of jealousy is bound deeply into fear. Saul was afraid of losing his power, his kingdom, his pride. But he already had. And that drove him insane. Literally. Saul lost his mind as he focused his jealous eye on the man God had chosen to replace him.

Of course, jealousy can go the other way too. Have you ever been consumed with jealousy? Have you ever really been afraid that someone else was after your spouse or your job? Remember that jealousy stems from fear. What were you afraid you would lose?

Some jealous goings on are just plain ridiculous. I once had a woman close to me eye me with a hateful glare. I knew something was up but I couldn’t figure out what I’d done to upset her so much. It went on for a while. She finally couldn’t hold it in any longer and spilled the reason for her jealous hatefulness. She wanted to know why my lipstick stayed on and hers didn’t. I shared my “secret” and shook my head. Jealousy over lipstick! Go figure.

The dictionary says that jealousy happens when someone thinks of another person as a rival. Certainly, that was the case with Saul and David. Saul knew that David would one day claim his throne and there was nothing he could do about it.

Do you have a rival? Does someone want something you have? Or do you want something someone else has. Nothing good can ever come from jealousy. Nothing. It will drive you to insanity, destroy relationships, make you obsess over things that aren’t worth the effort. Stand firm against Satan’s pull. Whether you’re the one who is jealous or whether you’re on the receiving end, give it to God. That’s it. Just give it to God.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Feuds Aren't Worth The Cost

But when David’s oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. “What are you doing around here anyway?” he demanded. “What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and dishonesty. You just want to see the battle!” -- 1 Samuel 17:28

Sibling rivalry. It has always existed. And it can lead to some pretty awful things. Just ask Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery. Of course, God used that situation to bring about good. God can do the same for your situation too.

Eliab’s attitude was understandable. Jesse’s oldest son, had been passed over as King. Samuel anointed the youngest son, David, to be Israel’s next king. That had to sting just a little. No one wants the youngest son to be honored above all others, especially not the oldest son.

Eliab didn’t want his little brother, the future king, to be hanging around. Eliab was the soldier. David, as Eliab reminded him, was just a shepherd. I wonder what Eliab had to say when his little brother the shepherd killed the giant that everyone else was afraid to fight.

So many families are torn apart by lesser things than a kingdom. I have a friend who is one of four children and the only one to remain in their hometown. She gladly cares for their elderly parents. She has zero tolerance for her oldest brother, who doesn’t come to visit often.

This brother will ask questions about their parents and she gets furious. “If he wants to know, he should come see for himself,” she says. I do see her point but I also see his. He has a fulltime job and a home that is some distance away. Not to mention a wife, kids and grandkids

And he does come for visits. Just not as often as everyone would like. Still, I don’t know why she gets so angry with him and not at her other two siblings. Maybe because he asks questions? I wonder if she assumes criticism where there isn’t any criticism intended? It’s easy to be a little sensitive when you’re the sole caregiver.

Another woman reported her shock that her brother had recently visited her home. It was the first time in three years. After their mother died, he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her. She tried to stay in touch but finally gave up. Then, seemingly out of the blue, he drove six hours to see her. It seems his marriage is on the rocks and he’s starting to realize that his sister may be more important to him than he thought.

Another family split down the middle before their mother ever died. Twin sons, both doctors, decided their wealthy mother needed to relinquish control of herself and her bank accounts to them. Their mother was horrified that they would think her incapable of looking after her own affairs. A daughter and third son agreed. The sons didn’t bother to come to their mother’s funeral when she died. And their mother didn’t bother to remember them in her will. A heartbreaking split with no end in sight.

Jealousy and bickering cause so many families to split apart. Why? It just seems so ridiculous. Who wins? No one. And that’s the saddest thing of all.
　

　

Friday, June 3, 2011

Cry Out To God

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. -- 1 Samuel 1:10

It’s difficult not to have what everyone else has. It’s especially difficult to have it thrown in your face again and again. In Hannah’s case, she desperately wanted a child. Her husband’s other wife, Peninnah, had children but Hannah didn’t even have one. Peninnah made fun of Hannah and taunted her. That compounded Hannah's hurt.

I’m sure some people have always managed to get exactly what they want. I don’t think I know any of them, but they’re probably out there somewhere. For the rest of us, it’s difficult to really want something and know there’s no way you can have it. Whether it’s merely a want or a need doesn’t really matter. Sometimes your heart really doesn't know the difference.

When I was a child, my brother and I were instructed to make a Christmas wish list every year. I’m not sure how old I was when this started. I do remember one very important lesson I learned: I never received anything I put on the list. One year I even copied the list, just to be sure I wasn’t mistaken. I wasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong. There were always lots of presents and fun toys to play with. And, yes, I’m well aware that many children don’t get presents at all. I’m not whining. Truly. It was just so disappointing to realize that if I asked for something I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn’t get it. Just because I asked. What a sad lesson to learn.

That situation hasn’t changed but I have. I’ve learned not to ask for anything. Except I don’t think that’s what God intended. Surely, He never expected us to just sit back and take whatever comes our way without ever wanting more? Or did He? I’ve really never been sure.

But here’s what I do know: God gave Hannah a baby. She dedicated Samuel to God. And God gave her more children. God heard Hannah and He answered her prayer. Now I’m not saying that God will give us everything we ask for, but I can’t believe He doesn’t want us to ask. Or that He won’t at least give us some of the things we seek.

So I’m crying out to God to sooth the anguish in my soul, to give me the salve that will heal my broken heart. I’m praying to the God who hears me when no one else does. And maybe, just maybe, one day He'll answer.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Look At The Heart

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at a person’s thoughts and intentions.” -- 1 Samuel 16:7

The young man was polite and eager. He wanted a job. I made some suggestions, as did a few men standing nearby. He’d put in applications. They said they’d call, he told me. One man told him to follow up again. And so it went.

The hard truth wasn’t pretty. Those of us offering advice -- black and white -- knew the odds were stacked against him. I yearned for a time when I could have hired him. I would have. Because people who want to work and have trouble finding a job are often the hardest and most dependable employees you can have.

But this young, black man has the odds stacked against him. He’s not quite a year out of high school with no college in his sights. He doesn’t have any particular skills. Just an eagerness for a job. Any job. But no one will take a chance. They can’t see beyond his age, his color and his lack of experience. They can’t see the possibilities evident in his manners, his dress, and his quick mind.

Jesse had many sons but God chose the youngest. The shepherd. The boy who became King David from whose lineage Jesus was born. God didn’t look at his age or his lack of experience or even the ruddiness of his face. God looked at David’s heart and had Samuel anoint David to be king.

God gave us a wonderful example of how to choose people. Not by age or color or experience but by heart. We would all do well to remember that.

Friday, May 14, 2010

"Now what have I done?" said David. "Can't I even speak?" -- 1 Samuel 17:29

It's tough being the youngest son. David had eight older brothers. David's job was to tend his father's sheep. His brothers had more important jobs. Except David was the one God chose. Samuel, acting on God's orders, anointed David to succeed Saul as king. Of course, that wouldn't happen for many, many years. In the meantime, David had to deal with his brothers.

One day David's father sent him to take food to his three oldest brothers, who were serving Saul in a war. It was natural that Jesse would want to check on his boys. So David headed out. Naturally, David talked with everyone in the camp to find out what was going on. The talk was all about Goliath. I'm sure you've heard of him.

Poor David. His oldest brother criticized him for talking with other fighters. Hence, the quote. David's brother was jealous. He wanted David to just go away and stop pretending to be a warrior. Ever been there? Probably every younger sibling has at some point. As younger siblings, we tend to get in the way and embarrass our siblings just by existing.

Of course, David never was good at following orders unless those orders came from God. David, as you'll recall, killed the Philistine named Goliath that was terrorizing Saul's men. He did it with a stone and a sling. David might not have been a warrior but he had God on his side. Sometimes I think we forget the power behind us when we face challenges that seem overwhelming.

Everytime I read this passage, I empathize with David. Been there, thought that, said that. Why does it sometimes seem that the people closest to you are the ones least able to see what you can do? They're so busy putting you in your place, that they miss out on all you can do. Fortunately, David didn't let his brother's comments deter him. That's good advice for all of us.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Jealousy Destroys

"And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David." -- 1 Samuel 18:9

Jealousy is a terrible disease. It starts slow, like a tiny flame ignited in a weak moment. Insecurities feed it until it blazes out of control.

Saul's jealousy erupted when the people praised David and credited him with greater success than Saul. It didn't matter that Saul was king. Nor did it matter that everything David did benefited Saul. Saul wanted all the power and all the glory for himself.

The Bible says several times in the passages about Saul and David that an evil spirit came upon Saul. This could have been Satan. Jealousy is certainly the sort of thing Satan uses to lead us astray. One Bible footnote even said it might have come when the Holy Spirit left Saul after Saul had sinned against God. Whatever the origin of the evil spirit, it's presence drove Saul to want David dead.

Have you ever felt jealous of someone else? Not me, you say. Are you sure about that? Sometimes it's called sibling rivalry. Sometimes it's called friendly competition. We have all kinds of names for standing there fully of envy and jealousy, desperately wanting what someone else has. It's a sickness that can destroy us.

It's also no fun when someone is jealous of you. Imagine how difficult it was for David. He didn't want to kill Saul, though he certainly had the opportunity. He wanted to co-exist in peace with Saul. David repeatedly walked away, hid and even lived in another country in order to escape Saul's desperate attempts to kill him. I'm not so sure I could have withstood all that anger without retaliating. I guess that's part of the reason David was the man after God's own heart.

David survived Saul's jealousy. He had God on his side. But jealousy destroyed Saul. It's a lesson for all of us.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Patience Wins The Day

"David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers." -- 1 Samuel 16:21

I want it right now. It doesn't matter what it is. I'm not patient. I don't want to wait while I learn and grow and do without whatever it is I think I've got to have. I want to skip all that stuff and get to the good part. Now.

Sometimes I think I hear God say, "Not now, child." In my saner moments, I'm glad He holds me back at times. My tendency to rush forward has caused me much trouble over the years.

David wasn't like me. He waited patiently after God chose him as king. He even served Saul as his armor-bearer. He soothed Saul with his hard-playing when an evil spirit tormented him. And he refused to kill Saul even though Saul tried to kill David. Can you imagine serving the man you're going to replace, a man who is so jealous that he'd rather kill you than let you take his job? I'm not sure I could have done that. I would have wanted to lash out andd estroy Saul before he destroyed me.

But David trusted God to keep him safe and to deal with Saul in His own time and in His own way. I wish I could be so wise. The truth is God does take care of things. He really does. None of us truly get what we deserve. That's what we forget sometimes as we seek vengeance on someone who has wronged us.

We want God to forgive us when we sin. We want Him to overlook our own issues and focus on those belonging to someone else. We are human after all.We want to push aside our own flaws and make excuses for them. We don't want others to have that same right. But we would do better to follow David's example and be patient. We should stay focused on doing God's will and let Him take care of all the details in His own time and His own well. Funny how that is. He truly does know best.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Cast Idols Aside

"Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless." -- 1 Samual 12:21

All it usually takes is one serious illness, one major car accident or one major heartbreak to put things in perspective. Suddenly, all that gray fades away and we're left with a clear understanding of what really is important. And how insignificant all those things we value truly are.

We seek money. Then more money. Then still a little more money, just in case. And while money helps provide quality medical care, it can't cure an incurable disease. It can't stop a fatal heart attack. It can't sooth a burned body.

Likewise, money can buy us that car we think we can't live without but it can't stop that drunk driver from plowing into us at an intersection and killing our child. That latest cell phone can't stop a robber with a gun. That expensive pair of shoes won't keep us safe if the plane we're on crashes in the ocean.

At the end of it all, those idols of green and gold, those snazzy electronic toys and ego-boosting adornments won't matter. We may lust after them but that can't save us in a crisis. Those things won't comfort us when we find out our spouse is cheating on us with the person we called our best friend. In the dark moments of night, when panic and fear threaten to crush us, God is there. He provides a safe haven, comfort, peace amid turmoil.

How many times each day do each of us "have" to have something we don't really need? How many times do we lust after something someone else has? This goes way beyond economics. I don't care how much money and how many things someone has, he always wants a little more. We all do.

We would do well to remember Samuel's words and keep our minds and desires focused on doing God's will. Imagine the world if we actually did give as Jesus called us to do. We could all do with a little less, so we could give a little more. It just takes pushing those worthless idols aside and trusting God to provide all we really need.