August 12, 2021

 

Some Fuel Discord

 

I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naïve people.

– Romans 16:17-18

 

Beware of people who tell you exactly what you want to hear. We know the truth of this and, yet, we do it anyway. We want so badly to believe that our beliefs are true and honorable that we ignore God’s truth in a vain attempt to justify our hearts.

 

I dislike Donald Trump. I always have. It’s not personal. I’ve never met the man. But I can’t justify his lies, his arrogance and his commentary. Yes. I know. Only God knows the heart so we can never truly know what lies within. That said, I do believe James when he said that there should be evidence of faith.

 

Holding a Bible and throwing out a few words doesn’t mean someone truly knows Jesus. Faith isn’t a political mantle one can put on to gain votes and discard when it’s no longer convenient. Faith is the firm foundation by which we live our lives. True faith should be evident to everyone.

 

Faith, however, isn’t always politically correct. Faith tells us it isn’t always about us. Faith tells us to be good to the poor. Faith tells us to love our enemies. Faith calls us to a life that is neither easy nor comfortable. It calls us to put others first and that is something we simply cannot do.

 

Some people will always seek to divide. They find joy and power in listening to people argue and fight. They paint themselves in shiny armor, the hero of a story being written. The truth is distant and troubling. They are spawns of the devil, determined to divide God’s people and conquer the hearts of many for the one filled with darkness.

 

This isn’t about Republicans or Democrats. It’s about honesty and integrity. It’s about what the Bible actually says rather than what we wish it would say. Every time you look to a podium, holding that person up as savior, you have blasphemed the true God. Every time you defend a lie, ignore a truth or spread falsehoods, you show the darkness within your own soul.

 

Anger and hatred abound among God’s people. Trump repeatedly has fueled that discord. Look around. Everyone you see is made in God’s image. Stop talking and start listening – to God. Draw near to Him while your heart might still be saved.

August 11, 2021

 

Words and Actions

 

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

– 1 John 3:18

 

We know exactly what to say. We’ve got the answers memorized so completely that others just know our hearts are true. But what happens when things don’t go according to our plan? How do we react when we don’t get our own way?

 

I look around and it breaks my heart. We hurt God so deeply with our hardness. We judge others harshly and call ourselves justified. We condemn their actions while putting ourselves on a pedestal of light. Hypocrites. We are hypocrites.

 

Neither political party is either all right or all wrong. How quickly we side with one or the other, pulling out verses to support our cause while ignoring the whole truth. We simply don’t want to love and do good to people unless they are like us, believe as we believe, and agree with everything we say. How sad.

 

If you are condemning abortion and condemning the poor, then this applies to you. Both are wrong. Is that just my opinion? No. It’s in the Bible if we look at it’s entirely.

 

The same is true of many other issues. We condemn homosexuality but we have no issues with divorced people remarrying. We don’t label them as adulterers because they are like us. We understand and extend grace. We refuse to even contemplate that God created the homosexual just as He created the divorcee.

 

We insist one is a choice and the other a mistake. How do you know? You don’t. But it forms a convenient excuse for not loving the very people God has called you to love.

 

What would happen if we actually starting seeing people as they are? We are all created in God’s image and He desperately wants us all to accept Jesus’ sacrifice and be saved. Honestly, we’d rather some people not join us in heaven one day and that truth speaks volumes about the condition of our hearts.

 

Your mouth may preach the loudest sermon anyone has ever heard, but if your actions don’t live that truth then your words are empty of the Spirit and, therefore, useless.

November 16, 2018

Open Your Eyes

Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

– John 9:39-41

Does it ever occur to any of us that we could be wrong? Do we ever seek the Bible’s wisdom for what it truly says rather than searching for words that will “prove” what we already believe? What would happen if we truly followed Jesus rather than picking and choosing the parts of Him that feel comfortably in line with ourselves?

Jesus didn’t come to conform to our “wisdom.” He came to save us from ourselves, from the sins that fill us, from the hardness of our hearts. But He left us with a choice. We can choose to follow Jesus or ourselves. There is no room on His path for both of us.

We are quick to point out that the Bible condemns homosexuality. We aren’t so quick to say that it also condemns divorce. Why would we? In our country, an estimated 40-50 percent of all couples will divorce. We don’t want to condemn ourselves so we choose to ignore what the Bible really says.

We are quick to condemn abortion as murder. We don’t want to support the child. That’s someone else’s responsibility. We don’t want to welcome those who are cast aside for their mistakes. We want them to pay again and again under our condemning eyes.

Obviously, abortion is wrong. So is casting aside an unwed mother. Remember: Mary was an unwed mother too. Before she and Joseph married. Before anyone understood about the Holy Spirit and the Messiah, she was a teenager with a growing belly in a world that would have destroyed her for her “sin.”

We cling tightly to our money, refusing to share or tithe as we should. We ignore what the Bible says about money – and it says a great deal about money – choosing instead to “believe” that everyone must support themselves. It is ours, we insist. Others aren’t worthy, we explain. Except the Bible doesn’t talk too much about worthy or ownership. It talks about gifts from God and sharing our blessings. Judgment isn’t ours to dispense, even when it comes to the money God has graciously given to us.

Oh, and let’s not forget the immigrants. We don’t want them. Period. We may expound our beliefs and justify ourselves but it’s just not biblical. The Bible tells us to welcome the foreigner because we once were foreigners. We are to extend kindness and compassion. But we hold what is ours tightly and refuse to show mercy.

There is no easy walk in our world today. It’s like a tightrope that keeps moving except, well, it doesn’t. The Bible is full of words that contradiction what we believe and what we say we believe. It’s impossible to truly love Jesus and stand only for some of what He says and ignore the rest.

Are we blind? Absolutely. But our blindness is a choice. We have the answers before us but we choose to ignore their truth because it’s uncomfortable and it just might cost us something we hold dear. Our money. Yes, it might cost us our money. It might force us to show kindness to people we don’t like. It might ask us to welcome people who aren’t like us so that we can show them that Jesus loves everyone and welcomes them into His arms.

Open your eyes. See your sin. Make your choice.

November 10, 2018

Your Choice

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. – Galatians 5:1

We are blessed to live in this country. We are blessed by the many freedoms we enjoy. We have the freedom to worship as we choose. We have the freedom to speak freely. Do we use that freedom wisely?

I spent the early years of my career as a journalist. That’s right. A newspaper reporter. In Mass Communications classes, we studied how tabloids can use words to manipulate the truth. It seemed so clear. In reality, it wasn’t. That’s why so many people bought tabloids filled with lies that were bolstered by tidbits of truth.

It breaks my heart to see that happening in such a widespread way. I know. People love it. They buy into the lies. In our deepest parts, we love gossip and the drama that it brings. But it is just so wrong.

The press corps has become filled with people who are out to make a name for themselves. They will report almost anything just because they can. It’s all about being first rather than being right. It’s that mob mentality that turns frenzied at the first sight of its victim.

President Trump fuels that. He’s good at it. He always has been. Except this isn’t reality television where ratings determine your success. This is real life, real people, real events. It’s not okay to use your power and platform to condemn at random and to spread lies when it’s convenient.

Christ died to set us free so that we could live like Him, not so that we could implode in a field of lies. We don’t get to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we believe. Either you love Jesus as He is or you don’t.

That means loving people, including people you disagree with. That means tempering your words, being kind and forgiving and merciful. It means standing up for what’s right, even if it steps on your own political toes. It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus. When did we lose sight of that?

It’s hard these days to determine fact from fiction. There are some really good reporters out there who deserve respect from everyone. They try hard to get the story right. That means stepping on toes. That means upsetting everyone. Because when you’re walking that line of truth, no one is happy with you.

It would be far easier to gather a bunch of folks together, call them reporters or news anchors, throw out a few “facts” and let them hash out their opinions. Label it news and watch the ratings skyrocket. Most folks don’t bother to check out what they’re hearing or reading to make sure it’s truth. I suppose if something is said enough times people stop doubting its validity.

Christ didn’t set us free to spread lies and hate. Every time we watch a “news” channel that does that, we are betraying Him. Every time we “share” something without making sure it’s true, we betray Jesus. We spread hate and discord because the drama feels good. Otherwise, why would we bother to listen or read something that upsets us?

Lies beget lies. Hate begets hate. Jesus? Well, Jesus is all about love. You have the freedom to choose who you will follow. Will it be the world with all it’s anger and hate? Or will it be Jesus, who beckons us to love and care for others? Your choice. I pray you choose wisely.

August 1, 2018

Are You a Pharisee?

The Pharisees said to him, “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” – Mark 2:24

Our pastor recently explained that the Pharisees weren’t priests. They were lay people. Folks like you and me. They were doing all they could to keep the Jews, Jews by forcing them to follow man-made rules.

The Pharisees fought hard for what they believed was right. But were they right? They were so focused on their rules, and their power, that they missed the Messiah. Do we miss Him too?

I am reminded immediately of sweet friends who have turned radical in this hurtful political climate. They are conservatives – which is fine – who believe that only they are right and everyone else is “dumb,” “an idiot,” “un-American,” and on and on. In their hearts they think their beliefs justify their commentary.

Newsflash: Jesus isn’t a Republican or a Democrat. Both parties get some things biblically correct and some things biblically wrong. That’s a sad truth that neither side wants to admit.

The Pharisees hated Jesus because they couldn’t control Him. Jesus was the authority and He spoke like it. He came and undermined their laws. He told them things not everyone wanted to hear.

Have you ever been the lone voice against the crowd? It’s not a fun place, is it? Unfortunately, right doesn’t always get recognized. The crowd gets so focused on what they want to believe that they miss the message right in front of them.

Some of the most hateful people I know are active in their churches. They are loud vocalists on Facebook, sharing derogatory story after derogatory story. They aren’t interested in truth. Facts mean nothing to them. If someone says something they agree with, they share it.

Why? They are fearful of what they might lose. Just like the Pharisees, they have an agenda and it’s not following Jesus. He’s just an excuse. Unfortunately, His beliefs and theirs aren’t always compatible. That’s true of both sides of the political debate. We are all so busy being right that we miss Jesus.

As much as we love Jesus, we don’t always want to do what He says. We don’t want to love our enemies and we surely don’t want to do good to them. We want our neighbors to only be Americans who look just like us. We want to keep our money for ourselves or, at least, only use it to help people like us. We want freedom but we define it in different ways. We aren’t willing to compromise, to listen to the other side, to even consider that maybe we don’t have it all right.

And we wonder why our kids are killing each other. We wonder why God doesn’t seem to be around. We demand He be put back in our schools and government even though the first place He needs to be invited back into is our homes and our hearts.

I don’t know your political beliefs. I don’t even care what they are. When I try to determine what is right or wrong, I seek truth from God’s Word. That’s not an excuse to shift words and pull things out of context to justify my beliefs. It’s an effort to really hear what He says. Honestly, I don’t always like what He says but that’s what true faith is all about. It’s putting what God says above what I think.

The next time you’re tempted to turn belligerent or get angry because someone disagrees with you, take a deep breath and consider their words and yours. We don’t have to agree in order to be kind. And sometimes we aren’t as right about what God says as we want to believe.  

July 24, 2018

Be Careful What You Say

“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” -- Luke 12:2-3

A friend has decided to join Facebook. He’s unsure if it’s something he can do or if it’s something only for younger folks with far more technical skills than he has. It’s easy, I told him. Just remember one very important thing: Never post anything you wouldn’t want the world to read.

Some people would argue with me about privacy settings and such. I stand by my advice. If you say it, whether publicly or in “private”, those words could become public. So, watch your words.

Have you ever told someone something in private and then had them repeat it to others? We’ve probably all felt that sting of betrayal. Private conversations aren’t meant for everyone.

And you know what? We’ve probably all been guilty of doing the same thing to someone else. It might not have been intentional but we did it just the same.

That’s the thing about words, whether written or spoken. You can’t ever take them back. The same is true of things that we do. They can’t ever be undone. The consequences continue on and on. God will forgive us if we repent and change course, but the consequences of our actions remain.

The political arena is no different. Perhaps it’s even more so. Those backroom deals really do exist. People work hard to cover up misbehavior. And people sometimes skirt the law for financial or power gains.

The Democrats and Republicans are good at pointing fingers. The truth is that both sides are guilty. One party’s guilt doesn’t erase the other party’s guilt.

Certainly, we need compromise. We used to have that. We had statesmen who reached across to those with opposing views in an effort to find a middle ground that everyone could live with. We’re too polarized for that anymore.

I am tired of it. How about you? Is Donald Trump guilty of working with the Russians to influence the presidential election? I don’t know. But I believe that the truth will eventually come out. Is Hillary Clinton guilty of erasing emails? I don’t know. But I believe that the truth will eventually come out.

God has a way of exposing deceit that can shake us to our core. Denials don’t work. Lies piled on top of lies don’t work. Ugliness can only masquerade as righteousness for so long before it becomes a bitter expose on the life we really lead as opposed to the life we claim to lead.

There is freedom in truth and honesty. There is freedom in keeping your own counsel, in taking matters to God first. There is freedom in only saying what you wouldn’t mind anyone else hearing.

Truth comes out in the end. God makes sure of it. So watch your words, whether you think anyone else is listening or not.

June 22, 2018

What Gospel Do You Hear?

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.

– 2 Corinthians 11:3-4

What happens when following Jesus collides with protecting what you hold dear? Do you make the hard choice or do you cling to what you know, what’s comfortable, what you have “earned”?

Many of us are willing to share our excess but we aren’t willing to sacrifice anything to give to others. Our own hands may be outstretched to borrow and receive but not necessarily to give and to share.

And we’re happy to pull out a Bible verse to back it up. Ah, yes. Let’s pick and choose what we want to believe. Let’s twist the meaning of God’s Word so that it aligns up with what we desire.

It’s how some truly well-meaning religious people justify their hatred and anger at others. It’s how places such as Facebook end up being the catalyst that fuels bigotry and lies. We aren’t particularly concerned about truth so long as it lines up with what we want to believe.

Somehow, we think we’ve “earned” the right to be greedy. Somehow, we believe we are better than others who were born to different circumstances. We tell them to work to better themselves without offering a shred of hope. We cling to what is “mine” without any real understanding that it all belongs to God.

When did we come to believe that only certain parts of the gospel are directed at us? When did we start watering down what we don’t like and building up what we do like? When did we decide that labels such as “Republican” or “Democrat” are more valuable that “Christian” and “Righteous”?

Our country is being torn apart by hatred among people who say they are Christians. We no longer believe in kindness unless it’s directed as someone we know and approve of. We act as though mercy and grace are only available to those of our choosing. We judge what we do not know based on lies generated to protect all that we hold dear.

And what do we know? We feel threatened by anything and anyone who might take what we think we deserve. We forget that so much of what we have began with the happenstance of our birth. Yes. We might work hard but there’s so much more to what we gain than hard work. Some of the hardest workers on this earth are people who barely get by. That’s not a truth we want to hear.

We are a greedy people. We “need” this and we “need” that. Most of us have no idea what true need is. We’ve never wondered where our next meal will come from. We’ve never desperately sought a job, any job, so that we could keep a roof over our heads. We’ve never done without medical care because all the small jobs we’ve managed to put together don’t offer insurance. But we judge others as though we truly understand.

The gospel isn’t about judging; it’s about loving. The gospel isn’t about storing up on this earth; it’s about sharing. The gospel isn’t about us; it’s about others. We don’t hear that because it interferes with what we hold dear. And that’s not Jesus, no matter how many Sundays we sit on a church pew.

April 21, 2018

When Is A Lie A Lie?

An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.

– Proverbs 14:5

When is a lie a lie? I know. You’re probably dismissing this question, thinking the answer is obvious. Are you sure?

A friend asks if you like her new dress. It is hideous. Do you tell her it looks great on her? Do you try and come up with something nice to say, such as “All that matters is that you like it,” avoiding telling your honest opinion. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. What do you say?

Or maybe your co-worker is ranting about something at work. You remain silent until he asks for your support. You desperately try to sidestep the issue because you don’t agree with him. Do you tell him you think he’s wrong? Or do you sidestep the issue, trying to find a way to avoid speaking your truth?

Truth isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s the gray area between being honest and avoiding hurting someone we value. We aren’t all wordsmiths, able to instantly come up with a truth that works without giving away our honest opinions. Sometimes we tell a “white lie” to avoid the pain. Is that wrong? Surely God understands. Doesn’t He?

Here’s another question: If you intentionally mislead someone to believe something you know isn’t the truth, did you lie to them? Technically, you didn’t. You used words to skirt the truth, knowing they would believe a falsehood. You didn’t bother to correct their conclusion because that was your point.

I call it playing word games with people. The deception causes much hurt. What happens when the truth emerges? What happens if your words lead others to think badly of someone? Maybe that was your point.

Is the intent to deceive really a lie? Well, that’s for God to judge but here’s what the Bible says: God looks at the heart. In your heart, did you lie? Did you deceive? There’s your answer.

My first semester of college included a Mass Communication 101 course. One of the things we studied was how tabloids can twist information to make it sound like something that isn’t true. They rarely get sued because it’s all based on a tidbit of truth. But it sure does mislead readers and viewers and hurt those who are the targets.

Oh, yes. The media. We all love to bash the media. Look in the mirror. Are you a consumer of mistruth? Do you share it on Facebook or other social media outlets? Do you check out your sources before you hit the share button or do you just assume that if it sounds like what you believe it must be true?

Hatred has a way of darkening our hearts without us even knowing it. We’re so focused on being right that we miss the lies right before us.

Think about your own language, your own beliefs, your own heart. How many times do you pass on a bit of gossip? How many times do you criticize without knowing the facts? How often do you judge what isn’t any of your business anyway?

I’ll ask you again: When is a lie a lie? Think about it. Look into your own heart. You may not be as honest as you think you are.

March 24, 2018

True Friends Are Rare

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.

– Proverbs 15:31

The other day a friend told me he didn’t have too many people who spoke truth in his life. I was one of them, he said.

I was surprised. He shook his head, explaining that most people just tell you what will make you happy or what they believe you want to hear. It takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.

He was right. There seems to be two different camps: Those who want to keep you happy and those who want to tear you apart. A true friend wants to provide guidance with a large dose of kindness and love mingled in. That’s rare.

Years ago I was out shopping with a friend. I debated on purchasing a beautiful dress. I didn’t need it. I didn’t have any place to wear it. But it was just so fine. I asked for advice. My friend encouraged me to buy it. I did.

Months later she sniped that I’d wasted money on that dress. I was shocked. Wasn’t the time to say something before I bought it, when I’d actually asked for her opinion? If she’d told me her opinion back then, I probably wouldn’t have bought the dress.

No. I didn’t throw those words at her. I didn’t really say anything, just let that ugly comment pass on by. We aren’t friends anymore. We haven’t been for years. That day I realized I could never trust her to be honest with me. Yeah. It was just a dress. But what if it had been something more important? Could I trust her to tell me her honest opinion when it came to life issues? I don’t think so.

We all have those folks in our lives that are surface friends. They’re the ones who give easy compliments and laugh at our jokes and chat with us about life. We’re likely just that way with them. But we all need people who speak truth in kindness.

Don’t miss that kindness part. If someone speaks “truth” in order to hurt you or put you down, they don’t have your best interests in their mind. They are jealous and insecure. Some people, unfortunately, can only feel good about themselves when they are downing you or someone else. It’s sad.

Don’t let yourself be a victim to that kind of ugliness. Walk away. There’s no need to get into an argument about it. You can’t fix cruelty. Only God can do that. Pray for them. Be kind. But keep them at a distance.

Surround yourself with people who truly care, people who truly want what’s best for you. Treasure those people. Value them. They are your tribe, your people. Listen to their truth and honor it and them, whether you agree with their words or not. True friends are rare.

February 12, 2018

Love People Where They Are

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

 – 1 Corinthians 9:19-23

Paul was determined to do whatever it took to win people to Christ. No. That didn’t mean sin was okay. It simply meant Paul wasn’t going to get caught up in what didn’t matter and, thus, turn away people who otherwise might give their lives to Jesus.

The hard truth is that we’re not going to reach too many lost souls by never going beyond the walls of our churches. We aren’t going to reach those who are most desperate by staying in our manicured neighborhoods and surrounding ourselves with people just like us.

Nor will we draw people to Christ by getting hung up on rules and customs that really have nothing to do with faith. People can spot someone self-serving. We instinctively know when someone is going along with the crowd rather than providing a voice for what Jesus would want.

Our pastor recently reminded us that some people think they are exclusively right. They determine who is truly baptized by whether that person was dunked or sprinkled. They have their own traditions about how things must be done. They tell others, including other churches, that if you’re not like me, then you are not like Jesus.

“If you insist that your own way is the right way, then you have set yourself up as an idol,” our pastor said. Oh, wow. How painfully true is that?

Paul started with people where they were. He did this so that he might save some. Jesus did the same thing. He didn’t lecture the woman at the well. He didn’t condemn the adulteress. He simply offered them a better way. Who did Jesus get angry with? The Pharisees and all their laws designed to keep the lost in their “place”.

Jesus and Paul had no trouble getting past the sins of others. We do. We are so busy looking on and judging that we can’t see the person created in God’s image. The problem isn’t the sinner. It’s our judgements. We become the blind. We become the Pharisee.

We turn to the Scriptures to justify our actions. We draw a line designed to keep people out. We seek to protect ourselves and to sanctify the image we have of ourselves.

For us, it’s not so much about Jesus as it is about being “right”. We want to feel good about ourselves and we’ll insulate ourselves to the point where we “know” who we are. Except we don’t know who Jesus is. We’ve missed the point of the gospel.

We are all sinners, the most pious of us being the worst. Get over yourself. It’s about Jesus. Love people where they are and trust God to do the rest.

February 2, 2018

Speak Truth

Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision. – 1 Samuel 3:15

Have you ever hesitated to give someone bad news? Have you ever hesitated to say something, hoping secretly that you were wrong but knowing in your heart that you weren’t?

It’s difficult to hurt someone you love. It’s hard to tell someone that the person they love is dying. It hurts to share a truth to someone struggling. We want to turn away. We tell ourselves it’s not our place. And, yet, there it is. That loud voice inside that insists we must.

I have grown weary of being the strong one. I am tired of being the caregiver, the advocate, the one who pushes for answers that are slow to come and devastating to hear. I wish God would send someone else. I just don’t want anymore sadness in my life.

But here I am. Once again playing a role I never chose because no one else will step forward to fill the shoes. I see the blinders all around me. I wish denial could make it go away. Death knocks whether we are ready or not.

Another friend struggles with a wayward son. He is out of jail. Again. We hope and pray that this time it will be different. I pray she will remain strong and not give in to the need to “fix” everything for her child. Her “little” boy is past 40. He needs space to grow into the man he might be. She can only see the failure that has blotted his life.

Truth is a hard thing to speak. No matter what, he is her child. And no matter how many times she tells us she is strong, we know she isn’t. So we surround her with love and prayers and gentle truths she doesn’t want to hear.

The days to come will tell us all if she has heard anything we’ve said. The weeks will show whether this time he’ll make different choices and leave his addictions to the past. Their choices to make. Our truths to share.

Recently we’ve heard so much about the parents arrested for abusing their children. For years and years and years those children were denied food and some were chained up. We ask where were the other family members? Didn’t anyone see anything suspicious? Why didn’t they speak up?

We tell ourselves it’s none of our business. We reassure our gut that the child who killed kittens couldn’t possibly have anything really wrong with him. We ignore the signs of something terribly wrong. We are afraid to give our words a voice.

We are not called to fear. Or to silence. Or to turning the other way when we see something wrong. We are called to live our faith boldly, to care and to offer up kindness and compassion right along with guidance and truth.

This week I had a hard conversation with a mother not ready to hear the truth. It wasn’t easy for either of us but the words needed to be said. There was no point in giving her false hope. There was no need to lead her to believe she had time that wasn’t coming. It was better that she be allowed to cherish the days that she has left with her child rather than mourn what she missed.

Speak truth, in kindness and love, wherever you can. If the Holy Spirit has put it on your heart, there’s a reason. Listen. Then speak.

January 30, 2018

Be Careful With Your Tongue

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. – Proverbs 18:21

She was in tears. My sweet friend was crushed by the words another person had flung at her. It didn’t matter that the accusations were lies. It didn’t matter that she walked away rather than escalate a ridiculous and hurtful situation. It was days past and she was hurt to the core.

Words have a way of doing that. They are flung out in anger without a thought to the damage they cause. Those words can never be retrieved. They can never be forgotten.

Oh, I know. We forgive. We do that more for ourselves than for the other person. We forgive so we can move on without the baggage of yesterday. But the scars remain. They change the very foundation of who we are. If we let them.

We reminded my dear friend that she is lovely and kind. We told her again that she is a child of the King. She is treasured and loved. We hugged her and prayed over her. We – this group of friends who cherish her – sought to replace the hurtful words with truth.

I don’t know what caused the family rift. Neither does my friend. She’s tried repeatedly to heal it but some people just need to feed their ugliness with lies. They strike out at someone else, blaming others for a mess they caused. But lies don’t ever become truth, no matter how many times they are repeated.

Our pastor talked about what a sore loser Satan is. The demon constantly seeks to attack us at our core. He wants you to believe lies, to believe that God has abandoned you, to believe that maybe it really is all your fault.

Take a deep breath. Pull out your Bible.  Get down on your knees. Surround yourself with people who love you and love Jesus too. Fill your heart with truth.

We can allow the tongue, the words, of others to destroy us. Or we can allow the tongues of others to build us up.

The reverse is true as well. How often do you measure your words before they are spoken? How often do you hold your tongue rather than lash out in anger? How often do you choose to take your complaints to God first, before you’ve hashed it all out with others?

We are just so casual with our opinions. We are so quick to judge. We expect to say whatever we want without consequences. But there are consequences. Some words forever damage or destroy relationships we may one day wish we’d kept.

I don’t know what the future holds for my friend. This spiteful person is someone she has to deal with for now. She is strong. She is amazing. I know that she will continue to hold her own tongue and trust God to sort it all.

He does that, you know. God works all situations to our good and His glory if we’ll just trust Him to handle it.

January 13, 2018

Lying Lips Always Revealed

Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. – Proverbs 26:24-25

The other day someone asked me if I’d talked recently to someone we both know. I hadn’t. I didn’t tell the questioner I was glad. I simply changed the subject and the conversation moved on.

What I didn’t say is that the person isn’t safe for me. He is someone who lies easily and speaks falsely to my face before turning behind my back and spreading deceit. I don’t think I’m supposed to know. Maybe he has convinced himself that he is fooling me. He has no idea how many people have asked me if I know what he says about me about my back. Nor does he realize how little they think of him because of it.

I choose not to spend time with him. I don’t return phone calls and only speak when I must. I don’t inquire about his life. I no longer want to hear about his tangled web. He’s told so many lies about others that he trips himself up, unable to remember what he’s said before. It’s surely no surprise that he lies about me as well.

Some days I feel sorry for him. He truly is a miserable soul. He’s so intent on making money, on having his dream house and living as he sees fit, that he misses what is important. All of his relationships, including those with his children and grandchildren, are in continual turmoil. He stirs that pot again and again.

What bothers me as that those who don’t know him well see him as a man of God. They think of the good he has done, failing to hear the words “me” and “I” when he proclaims his good works. He uses ministry opportunities to further his own ego. Why do I say this? Because he never, ever gives Jesus credit for anything.

People don’t want to hear that, of course. We all have a need to believe there are good, selfless people in the world. We buy the lines, failing to truly listen or look beyond the surface. We’ve been disillusioned too many times. Just this once we’d like to believe in something, or someone, who rings true.

I mostly remain silent. I choose to keep my distance. I wish him well. I hope that someday he truly understands that this life isn’t about him. It isn’t about me either. Or about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s about glorifying God. It’s about walking in the light that is the Holy Spirit.

It isn’t always easy to turn away from the lies. There is that part of me that would like to loudly and publicly challenge him. But I’ve come to learn that the truth has a way of emerging when we least expect it. God really does do battle on our behalf. He defends those who belong to Him.

And I do belong to Him. I know that with every fiber of my being. So on those days when the lies sting my soul, when others think badly of me because of what he has said, when I want to loudly proclaim the truth, I walk away. I hold my tongue and trust my God to handle it in His own way in His own time. Because He will. Every time.

April 16, 2016

Speak Truth

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. -- Colossians 4:6

It was a comment meant to praise and encourage. “You’re a good mother.” It sounded, well, good. Except the young girl accepting the praise isn’t a good mother.

I stayed silent. I’ve learned to do that sometimes. (Other times I wish I’d learned to stay silent.) But it really bothered me. The young mother loves her baby. It’s not that. It’s just that she refuses to take responsibility for the day to day care giving an infant requires.

Happy photo ops are not the norm. They are the show. The responsibility -- the dirty diapers, the waking up in the middle of the night, the expenses -- are all shouldered by her parents. She not only doesn’t appreciate all they give, she resents them.

Surely, the person making the comment knew that. Didn’t she? Or was she only seeing what she wants to see? Sometimes we turn a blind eye to something that makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we refuse to see what is right in front of us.

I am not the most diplomatic person. I am outspoken and sometimes I put way too much salt in my words. I’m trying to learn that just a little salt goes a long way when I’m speaking truth that is difficult to hear.

But I’m also learning more and more not to be silent. I was a silent victim for too long, always being cautioned to “not say anything” in order to keep the peace. It didn’t work. Volcanoes can only be contained for so long before they erupt into a fiery disaster. I wonder sometimes if the eruption would have changed in magnitude had I refused to stay silent. I’ll never know.

I do know that we sometimes avoid people who speak truth over our lives. We don’t want to hear it. We don’t want to face whatever it is we need to face. We don’t want to accept that maybe, just maybe, the words were sent from God Himself to speak truth. Like the prophet Nathan speaking truth over King David.

As Christians, we’re to weigh our words carefully. The tongue has such power to wound. We’re to let caution still our anger before we lash out with words that can never be unsaid.

But we’re also to speak truth, seasoned with salt. Build people up, yes, but do it in truth. Lies don’t benefit anyone. Neither does silence when it’s done for all the wrong reasons.

February 9, 2016

Truth Always Reveals Itself

9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him.

“There, in the tent,” he said.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.” -- Genesis 18:9-15

The truth is sometimes hard to believe. We see what we want to see. We hear what we want to hear. We dismiss what seems unbelievable.

Truth. Fact. I was trained as a journalist. As reporters, we were told to pay close attention so that we would report the facts correctly. There was no room for opinion unless it was a quote attributed to someone else.

Later I became an editorial columnist. That was all opinion. I backed up my opinions with facts but they were still opinions. People might disagree -- and many of them did -- but opinions are the views of one person.

Sarah laughed when the visitor said she would bear Abraham a son. She couldn’t see it. They were old and likely had prayed for a son for much of their lives. It was completely understandable that she would have trouble believing that God would grant her request when she was long-past childbearing age.

Her laughter showed her unbelief. And the visitor called her own it. She was afraid and rather than admit it, she denied her laughter. She made the situation worse with her lie. But you can’t lie to God.

Have you ever denied a truth, then tried to hide it? Probably. It’s like a child who breaks something and hides it because he doesn’t want to get in trouble for breaking it. Then he denies it when he’s found out. We don’t want to face the consequences of our actions so we lie instead.

Our lies don’t change the truth. We can’t reinvent the facts. We can continue to deny the truth and hope everyone believes our lies or we can confess our sins and admit the truth. Either way, the truth always comes out.

January 2, 2016

Speak Truth

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.”

-- Exodus 20:16

“For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -- Matthew 12:37

Has anyone ever lied to you? Me too. Has anyone ever told a lie about you? Me too. Has anyone ever sought to deliberately turn others against you? Me too.

Are you perfect? Me either. Have you ever lied? Stop that squirming! We all have. Everyone. Sometimes it is a lie of omission. Sometimes we are just trying to spare the feelings of someone we care about. Other times we’re trying to keep ourselves out of trouble. But a lie is a lie is a lie.

It’s not fun to be on the receiving end of someone’s lies, especially when your integrity and reputation are being destroyed. It’s difficult to remember that vengeance belongs to the Lord.

Silence is sometimes the best thing you can do. It also can be the hardest thing to do. We want to stand and fight. We want to be drawn into that never ending war of words. We want to prove ourselves.

But here’s the thing: When someone is out to get you, it isn’t about you. It’s about them. It doesn’t matter what you say or do. That person needs to lie and try to destroy you in order to justify themselves. It won’t work. It never does. The truth always comes out in the end.

Of course, don’t assume you’re always right. Search yourself for the truth. Pray diligently. Be honest with yourself and ask God to point out your flaws.

Then give it to God and let it go. You are not responsible for the words and actions of others. Do the right thing. Always remember that God is your judge and as hard as it is sometimes to stay silent, trust Him to work it all out for His glory. 　

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What Are You Waiting For?

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -- John 8:31-32

What would you do if you knew you were totally accepted, perfectly loved, and supported beyond measure? What would you accomplish if the fear that holds you back suddenly failed to exist?

The truth sets us free from doubts, fear, selfishness, insecurity and the judgments of others. When we begin to realize that God chose us, that He loves us, and that we are perfectly made by Him, then we start to understand the possibilities. That is freedom.

Stop and think for a moment about all those things you have never tried because you were afraid you would fail. Consider all those times you’ve felt a tug toward something more and you held back because you didn’t believe in your own abilities.

Or maybe you’re someone who listens to the court of popular opinion. You seek everyone’s opinion about any idea or activity -- everyone, that is, except God. Your excuse is that you don’t know what God wants. The truth is that you’re so busy asking others and talking about it, that you really haven’t had time to sit down and hear what He has to say.

We’re good at excuses. We’ve got one for everything we don’t want to do. And we’ve got one for every time we hear God calling us to something more, something better, something scary and new. Because we don’t want to step out in faith and believe His promises over our own lives.

We forget that He chose us. That He loves us unconditionally. That He loves us where we are now and for what we can become. We forget that sometimes. We want to wait until we’re good enough, smart enough, talented enough. But we’re already enough for God. And He’s more than enough for us.

The truth will set us free. His truth spoken over our lives. He beckons you forward. Grab hold of His hand. What could you do with Jesus by your side? What could you accomplish if you trusted the One who fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish?

Don’t be afraid anymore. Take a step forward in faith and grab hold of His hand. He won’t let go and you won’t fail. You belong to Him and He loves you unconditionally.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Learn And Grow In Christ

So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. -- Galatians 5:1

Have you ever read the Bible all the way through? I know I’m putting you on the spot. Some of you will answer “yes” without hesitation. But many will squirm and say they’ve read “most of it” through Bible studies and Sunday school. It isn’t the same thing.

We’d all like to believe that Christians always get it right. We should know better because if there’s one thing we can pretty much guarantee it’s that Christians will disagree over just about anything.

It’s not that we plan to get it wrong. It’s just that we always think we’ve got it right and that other Christians have it wrong. Look at the issue of women and their role in the church. That’s certainly a powder keg.

Several years ago I sat in the congregation and listened as a pastor preached on a specific passage of Scripture. As he went on and on, I found myself shaking my head. I began to read the footnotes in my Bible. Yeah. The pastor had it wrong. I’m not sure anyone else in the congregation realized it because, well, he was the pastor and he was supposed to know what the Bible says.

The other day in Sunday school I listened as a visitor told us a few things about the Bible. And he really could quote the Bible. He didn’t understand too much about applying Scripture in our lives -- he seems to believe that if we’re hurt and face failures we aren’t living right -- but he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

I could understand why those he’s attempted to minister to in an outreach program turn away from him. He means well. He does. But he’s missing something really important. Hope. Grace. Forgiveness. Because trying to understand the Bible without those things just isn’t possible.

The Pharisees were great believers in the Law. They knew the Scriptures. They were the leaders of the church. And then Jesus came along and shattered all their illusions of grandeur. Because it wasn’t about those things at all.

We have the privilege of reading the Bibles for ourselves. And it is a privilege because there are many, many people in the world who don’t have that choice. Jesus died to restore our relationship with God. The curtain is gone and we can go before His mighty throne and bow before Him. We can ask questions and get answers -- from God Almighty.

So don’t trust what everyone else tells you to believe. And don’t think that just because someone disagrees with you, that they’ve got it wrong. Read and learn. Pray and listen. God speaks. Let Him fill you up with Truth.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Honor God With Truth

There was also a man named Ananias who, with his wife, Sapphira, sold some property. He brought part of the money to the apostles, but he claimed it was the full amount. His wife had agreed to this deception. -- Acts 5:1-2

The property belonged to Ananias and his wife, Sapphira. They could do whatever they wanted with it, including selling it and putting the entire amount in their own pockets. But Ananias and Sapphira told everyone they would give the entire amount to the apostles. Except they didn’t. They only gave part of it.

They lied. And they didn’t just lie to the apostles. They lied to God. Bad mistake. Ananias and Sapphire paid for their deception with their lives. It really makes you wonder why they lied? Pride, maybe. Or, as Max Lucado pointed out, they wanted the to give the appearance of financial sacrifice without having to make the actual sacrifice.

I get so frustrated with people who lie, especially when there is no need other than them trying to make themselves look good. One woman I know loves to mislead people. She doesn’t seem to care that people believe something that isn’t true. In her mind, she hasn’t done anything wrong because “technically” she hasn’t lied.

It goes something like this: “I told her I would write a check for it. I don’t know where we’ll get the money but we’ll manage somehow.” The truth? She offered, knowing all along the offer would be rejected. She’s also better than comfortable financially. Did she lie or didn’t she? Where do you draw the line between deception and truth?

It comes back to the heart. Ananias and Sapphira intentionally withheld money they’d claimed to give so they would look better to other folks. As Peter asked Ananias, “why has Satan filled your heart?” There was no need for Ananias to lie. He could have told the truth. He was under no obligation to give anything, let alone all of the money from the sale.
So, when someone intentionally misleads someone, knowing that person will believe a lie, did the person lie? I believe she did. What about you? Would you feel like you’d been lied to? Would you feel like you had been lied about?

All of us make choices each day. Choose to honor God with your honesty and love for others.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

God Beats Any Illusion

They say to the seers, "See no more visions!" and to the prophets, "Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions." -- Isaiah 30:18

We don't want to hear the truth. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes it forces us to see a reality we'd really rather avoid. We'd rather focus on pleasant lies than to see a painful truth.

I had a friend who was going through a really painful divorce. Betrayal. Lies. Her whole world was shattered and what she'd believed was not the truth. She dealt with it by refusing to listen to anything unhappy. No unhappy music. No unhappy stories. No unhappy moments. She could pretend she was happy if she could only surround herself with happy people and happy events. It didn't keep the pain away. It only prolonged the time between betrayal and healing.

Isn't that how we all are? We'd rather pretend that everything is okay rather than face the truth. God wants us to obey Him. He wants to give us good things. But sometimes we bring disaster down on our own heads with rebellion that reflects our desires rather than God's will for our lives.

It's so much easier to pretend that everything is okay. We don't want to confront a cheating spouse. We don't want to walk away from a friendship that repeatedly leads us to sin. We don't want to stand firm when our boss urges us to lie. We want to do what's easy, what allows us to avoid confrontation. But any action or inaction that abandons God's law for the desires of someone else is just wrong.

I'm all about avoidance. I could have a master's degree in it because of all the practical experience I've received over the years. It doesn't make the pain go away. And it doesn't change the reality. It just insures that I'll continue to be a slave to someone else's will so long as I choose the illusion over the truth.

God gives us truth. He gives us protection from our enemies. He stands firmly beside us when we stand in truth. Obey His Word and you'll find freedom that is far better than any illusion every could be.