Saturday, November 12, 2011

Life Brings Changes

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There is no way you can go against this Philistine. You are only a boy, and he has been in the army since he was a boy!” -- 1 Samuel 17:33

One of the most difficult parts of aging is coming to terms with things you are no longer able to do. It’s difficult to accept help you do not want. It’s difficult to admit that life is changing in a way you’d rather not face.

It happens to all of us. We spend our childhood and youth learning to be independent. Then we spend our later years learning to be dependent yet again. It can be a sad journey. Or it can be a remarkable journey. I am reminded that when God closes one door, He always opens another.

Several years ago I attended a church function that included a potluck lunch. One dear woman brought two or three dishes. It’s what she had always done, though one dish was plenty and no one would have said a word had she brought nothing. This woman is in her 90s. She’s done so long and so much for so many people. Yet she couldn’t seem to let go of doing what she’d done all her life.

That particular day she rested her head on the table. She was too weak to enjoy the program. She’d overdone it that morning cooking food. I sat down and spoke with her, being kind but firm. I didn’t say anything her children hadn’t already told her. It’s just that sometimes it’s easier to hear from someone else.

She’s a widow now. And she still attends many functions. She no longer takes food and someone drives her to and from whatever is taking place. We’re all thrilled to have her with us. She’s such an inspiration. And I think she’s finally come to understand that the blessing of her presence is all we really want from her. As I told her that day, “You’ve done so much for so many people, let us do for you now. It’s our time and our privilege.”

I’m not trying to say it’s easy. It’s not. I sure wish I could physically do the things I did even 10 years ago. I can’t. It’s frustrating. But I’ve also learned to ask for help. Most of the time anyway. I’ve found that it sometimes makes other people feel needed and useful when they know that you truly need what they can give.

I’m not a child anymore, pretending to be an adult. Nor am I yet an elderly person valued for my wisdom. I’m a worker who focuses on getting things done. And sometimes that means taking over tasks that someone else can no longer do. It’s not a burden. It’s being useful and needed. It’s how God planned our lives to be.

So look around and see where you’re at in life. Do what you can, where you can. And when it’s time to let go of a task you can no longer do, let it go graciously. Let someone else step up. And if you’re that person who’s stepping up, be kind and gentle. Value the task you’ve been given because one day, you too will be called to step aside for

Friday, May 14, 2010

"Now what have I done?" said David. "Can't I even speak?" -- 1 Samuel 17:29

It's tough being the youngest son. David had eight older brothers. David's job was to tend his father's sheep. His brothers had more important jobs. Except David was the one God chose. Samuel, acting on God's orders, anointed David to succeed Saul as king. Of course, that wouldn't happen for many, many years. In the meantime, David had to deal with his brothers.

One day David's father sent him to take food to his three oldest brothers, who were serving Saul in a war. It was natural that Jesse would want to check on his boys. So David headed out. Naturally, David talked with everyone in the camp to find out what was going on. The talk was all about Goliath. I'm sure you've heard of him.

Poor David. His oldest brother criticized him for talking with other fighters. Hence, the quote. David's brother was jealous. He wanted David to just go away and stop pretending to be a warrior. Ever been there? Probably every younger sibling has at some point. As younger siblings, we tend to get in the way and embarrass our siblings just by existing.

Of course, David never was good at following orders unless those orders came from God. David, as you'll recall, killed the Philistine named Goliath that was terrorizing Saul's men. He did it with a stone and a sling. David might not have been a warrior but he had God on his side. Sometimes I think we forget the power behind us when we face challenges that seem overwhelming.

Everytime I read this passage, I empathize with David. Been there, thought that, said that. Why does it sometimes seem that the people closest to you are the ones least able to see what you can do? They're so busy putting you in your place, that they miss out on all you can do. Fortunately, David didn't let his brother's comments deter him. That's good advice for all of us.