December 31, 2018

Leave Regrets Behind

“Forget the former things; do not swell on the past.” – Isaiah 43:18

We like to overthink the past, don’t we? We live with regrets of what we might have done differently or how someone wronged us or betrayed us or how we missed an opportunity that will never come again.

Not one moment of reviewing the past can change anything in the present. All it does is keep us from living in the present and heading toward the future.

There’s one of those Facebook sayings that I love. It goes something like this: Don’t look back. You aren’t headed that way.

How true is that? Constantly looking back keeps us from enjoying today. It roots us in bitterness. It reminds us of what will never be.

Certainly, there are lessons to be learned from mistakes and betrayals. We live today as a result of where we’ve been. We grow stronger, wiser, more compassionate as we live through tough experiences. We understand the depth of what others are willing to do to get their own way and destroy who you are.

We also learn to be strong and to hold tightly to those who remain steadfast in their love and friendship. This world is full of really good people. In our hurt and disappointment, we forget that sometimes.

One of those who disappoint us the most is ourselves. We think of all those things we could have done differently. We lament those things that we meant to do and never did. We beat ourselves up for choices that turned out to be wrong.

There’s no need to condemn yourself for that extra 20 pounds you haven’t yet lost. There’s no need to be critical of yourself for not going after that promotion or for choosing to be a couch potato rather than follow God’s clear path. All regret does is keep you mired in the quicksand of failure. That’s never been God’s plan for you.

King David knew a lot about regret. He’d lusted after a married woman, took her for himself, then had her husband killed when he learned she was pregnant with his child. He paid a high price for that. David and Bathsheba’s child died.

But David learned and moved on. After the Prophet Nathan rebuked the king, David repented. This is the man who had a heart for God. David wanted to do good. He just lost his way and satisfied himself with what wasn’t his. But David learned from the mistake and God gave him another child, Solomon, with Bathsheba.

What have you learned in 2018? Do you have regrets? Take their lessons and leave them behind. Do you have great joy? Learn to multiply that joy and find satisfaction living in the light of Christ.

June 3, 2018

Who Are You Today?

For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. – Romans 12:3

I was momentarily speechless, a rare occurrence for me. I looked at her face. She was genuinely concerned about something that had happened back in high school. Really? That was more than 40 years ago.

She was a woman facing an identity crisis. Anyone could see that. She’d married young, birthed her children and now spoiled grandchildren whenever she could. She was also unemployed. She had way too much time on her hands. She had time to consider high school, her “glory” days.

She wanted to know if she’d hurt me and others we’d grown up with. Why? Because she’d become a cheerleader – basketball for one year – and hung out with the popular students. Really? Her arrogance amazed me. She didn’t hurt me all those years ago but she certainly pushed my button on this day.

Everyone has different gifts. Everyone accomplishes different things. We are all unique and called to work together to bring glory to God. All those friends she believed she’d “left behind” were people who accomplished many things in their areas of giftedness. She was oblivious to anyone but herself.

We like to toot our own horns, don’t we? I love that cliché because it’s just so on target to what actually happens. We’ve been taught to brag on ourselves because, after all, who else will do it? It’s that struggle between healthy self-esteem and wallowing in our own pride.

I am proud of my accomplishments. I also recognize that I can do nothing, be nothing, without God’s help and guidance. All good things come from Him. I want so much to live a life that brings glory to God Almighty. Sometimes I get that right. More often, I get it wrong.

 I remember the past but I don’t dwell there. The journey has molded me into the person I am today. The hardships, the heartbreak, the joys and accomplishments all combine together to make me the person I am. The journey through the valley has led me to appreciate all the blessings God has given to me that much more.

This woman was trying desperately to cling to a past that she believed gave her value. She “remembered” things that never happened or just weren’t accurate. (I have never had red hair. Sorry.) And she tried to argue when I attempted to gently point out that her facts were wrong.

It was sad really. She has so many blessings in her life. She has so many ways that God can use her in the present and in the future. But first she has to let go of the past. First, she has to stop getting her value from what she sees is her lofty position from long ago.

Our value comes from who we are in Christ. Our worth is measured in how we live in His light. Our glory days are yet to come when we finally make it home. Don’t get hung up in the past. Remember who you are today and live your life in humility, seasoned with grace, and focused on the One from whom all blessings flow.

April 30, 2018

Embrace the New Day

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Blackie has a new calf this morning. A new life to celebrate even as we mourn the life that was lost last Saturday.

Nothing can change the past. We can cling to it. We can get so caught up in what-ifs that we miss this new beginning. Or we can move forward, with the lessons of yesterday tucked in our heart, cherishing this new opportunity.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. You’ve probably heard that old cliché many times. It doesn’t lesson the truth that it holds. We can’t go back and rewrite history. We can only go forward from this day, living a different life with renewed hope and purpose.

It’s not an easy journey. Don’t let anyone tell you it is. The past can leave painful scars that keep us from trusting, from hoping, from believing that today and all the todays to come will be different. But we can take a deep breath and step into the new life God is calling us to embrace.

We walk by faith. We know that. There are no guarantees that today won’t bring heartbreak. There are no protections from evil except for the strength of Christ that lives within us. He promises to never leave us alone. He guarantees that victory is found in His arms. But sometimes the journey hurts.

Have you made mistakes? We all have. Have you been hurt by people you trusted? We all have. Have you felt the sting of lies and accusations that bore no truth? We all have. But we don’t have to live amidst the rubbish. We can rise above it and move into the plans God has called us to, the good plans He has promised.

It’s easy to get caught up in the what-ifs. It’s easy to want retribution, vindication, revenge on those who did us wrong. It’s easy to want to rewrite the past. But it isn’t what God wants. Revenge belongs to Him. God is clear on that. We are to forgive, to do good, and to move on. He’ll take care of the rest.

We can’t move forward, we can’t embrace this new beginning, while we are clinging to the past. We can’t become new while we are dirty from the last skirmish with the devil. We are in a Spiritual War and Satan is trying to control our minds, our thoughts, our hearts. We must resist and cause him to flee. The Bible tells us so.

The new calf is perfect in every way. He is shiny and new as he stumbles into his first steps of life. His mama is ever watchful, ready to assist but knowing she can’t do it for him. God is like that. He watches over us, never leaving us alone. But we have to take those first steps on our own. We have to reach out, grasp His hand, and walk in faith.

Don’t let the past keep you shrouded in darkness. Move forward into the light of a bright new future, a future God has called you to live.

May 7, 2016

Thoughts Control You

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me

-- Psalm 13:2

What’s on your mind today? What keeps coming up as you travel through your day? Who has upset you? What has happened that you keep rehashing again and again?

Because whatever is on your mind is what controls you.

So many of our battles actually take place in our mind. We go over and over events that are past -- some good and some bad -- and never seem to move on. Maybe you’ve met someone who still lives for the glory days of high school, even though it was years ago. Or maybe you know someone who suffered through a divorce a decade ago and yet the bitterness comes out again and again.

Or maybe you spend your time worrying about what might happen in the future. It’s so easy to imagine all kinds of scenarios that aren’t likely to ever occur. We waste so much time and energy on a future we can’t predict. Do what you can to prepare and trust God to see you through the rest. In other words, let it go.

We can’t possibly enjoy today when our minds are on the past or the future. Life is what happens when we’re grieving the past and planning the future. Focus on life.

It’s especially hard to enjoy today when we’re trying to come to terms with heartbreak. That person is still gone every minute of every day. There is a void there where a loved one once stood. That’s where the choice comes: Do we wallow in what we can’t change or rejoice over memories and the promise of an eternal reunion?

That sounds callous doesn’t it? I don’t mean it to be. Even years after the loss, grief can come crashing in suddenly and fiercely. But the choice not to dwell there belongs to you. It comes with taking control of your thoughts rather than letting the grief control you.

The same is true with betrayal. It’s easy to get caught up in thoughts of revenge and justice. For what purpose? God avenges His own. Don’t let someone who betrayed you continue to control you by occupying your thoughts. Trust God to handle it in His time. He will.

King David frequently poured out his anguish and grief to God. We can learn from him and do the same. There’s something so freeing in giving God all that’s in the past, all the worries for the future, our grief and our brokenness. It allows us to refocus our minds on today and the joy that comes anew each morning with His Presence and our love for the One who saved us.

April 12, 2016

A Time To Move On

The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.” -- 1 Samuel 16:1

How long does it take you to get over something? It’s not a trick question. Everyone is different. But sometimes we can get so caught up in the past, that we can’t let it go and move on.

I’ve always admired people who are able to shake the past off and move on. I’m a clinger until I’m done and then, well, I’m done. For good. What about you?

The prophet Samuel was mourning Saul. The king had gone against God’s instructions so God decided that Saul no longer would rule the Israelites. God is God. When He decides something, that’s it.

Samuel had a harder time moving on. God gave him some time and then pushed him forward. God had things for Samuel to do, like go anoint David as the new king.

There is a time to mourn. There is a time to move on. A sweet friend went through a devastating divorce last year. She struggled mightily. Then she met someone and now she’s remarried. Happy. She has moved on. Will it work out? I don’t know. No one does. But she wanted to move forward and she did. I admire that.

Some people want to dwell on a past they can’t change. They want to rehash it again and again, as though somehow they’ll come up with explanations or a way to change it all. Life doesn’t work that way. We can’t go back. We can’t rewrite the past.

Saul betrayed God. Saul decided he knew better than God and it didn’t work out so well for him. There was no going back. There was no undoing what he’d already done. God moved on and that was that.

Why did God choose David, a ruddy faced boy, to be the next king? Think about it. David was a man after God’s own heart. David’s heart was right. Was he perfect? Obviously not. But David loved God and that, along with confession and repentance, make up for a lot of things.

What are you holding on to? Let it go. Give it to God and then let it go. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to move on. And sometimes that’s the best thing you can do.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Experiences Make Faith Stronger

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. -- 1 Peter 1:6-7

There are few people around who don’t wish they could somehow go back and wipe out at least part of their past. We’ve all done something we wish we hadn’t. We’ve all done things we don’t want others to know.

And we’ve all felt the weight of judgment on our shoulders. Someone makes an offhand comment about not knowing anyone who has ever done what we’ve done or been where we’ve been. And we sit there silently, afraid to speak and yet wanting to shock their condescending hearts into somehow understanding that real people, good people, make mistakes.

A dear friend recently faced just such a situation. She did something more than 20 years ago. She is a different person now. No one would ever know. But she knows. And she wonders if her silence just reinforces that secret culture that makes Christians think we’re somehow better than we really are.

Because we are all sinners. And sin is sin, no matter how much we’d like to categorize it as “my sin isn’t as bad as someone else’s sin.” But it is.

So does silence mean that we’re saying it’s okay to prejudge? Does keeping secrets make abuse okay? We look around and we see perfect people because their brokenness is hidden. They fear condemnation and rejection. We all do. Because isn’t that what happens when people see our scars?

Except we wouldn’t be the people we are today without the pasts we try so hard to hide. All those mistakes, all those heartaches, work together to turn us into the people we are today. How could we ever appreciate the good, the true, the Holy, without first having experienced the bad, the lies, the darkness?

The fire that comes from trials is what God uses to refine us, to make us stronger and to draw us closer to Him. Just as fire heats gold, sending its impurities to the top, so does God sift us, separating the good from the flawed. It is a painful process but the end result is someone who is of far more use to God than we were before.

So wear your scars without shame. Jesus paid your debt and stands by your side. You have been refined by fire and you are more precious to God than gold.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Everyone Has A Sinful Past

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. -- Lamentations 3:23

A dear friend has a past she would like to forget. This wonderful person had an affair during her first marriage, something she still regrets. Not surprisingly, a divorce was the result. She has since remarried and rebuilt her life.

She has moved on as best she can. It has been many, many years. Her ex-husband has done the same. The people in the small town where she lives, well, they haven’t been so quick to forgive and forget. They still whisper about her great sin, reminding her with smirks of the person she used to be.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so difficult to bear if these were perfect people looking down on her. They aren’t. Some have cheated others in business. A few drink too much. Others have lied and done things they wouldn’t want anyone else to know. Yet they feel qualified to judge her.

I’m not trying to excuse what she did. But she admitted her mistake and has paid dearly for it. Most importantly, she confessed her sin to God and He forgave her. That has allowed her to move forward.

It’s not that she wouldn’t change it if she could. She can’t. None of us can change our pasts. And we’ve ALL got things we wish we hadn’t said or done.

So often other Christians are the worst judges of all. They remind me of the Pharisees, so caught up in their rules that they can’t get past them to see their own sin. It’s easy to see the sins of others. It’s not so easy to see our own.

Another women tells of her brokenness after the business she and her husband started, failed. Bankruptcy and financial destruction followed. She could handle the loss of possessions and even their home. But the humiliation and talk just about did her in.

Fortunately, she’s surrounded now by a church family in a different town who loves them both and could care less about their past. Maybe it’s because so many of us glance back and see our own skeletons.

Some people who judge and criticize are trying to tear others down in order to build themselves up. Perhaps they think their own pasts -- or presents -- won’t stink so much if they focus on the sins of someone else.

It’s easy to point your finger and gossip about someone else. It’s not so easy to look back and remember where you’ve been. I thank God that every day His mercies begin anew. My sins are forgiven. What about yours?