December 7, 2018

Fill Yourself with Jesus

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:16-19

Many years ago I found myself in an uncomfortable friendship. We had loads of fun together. We got along great. But she wanted to do everything together, whether it was supper break from work or going on an excursion. It got uncomfortable.

She wanted to fill herself up with our friendship. It was flattering at first. Then it just got weird. I had a boyfriend and a family. I had other friends. I didn’t want to be her everything. I couldn’t be. The friendship ended because she had to have all or nothing. Possessiveness is an awful thing.

Years later another friend was having a rough time but doing all he could to deny it. Every waking moment had to be filled with activity. He could not simply sit and watch television or read a book. He worked all day, then meticulously planned to fill every waking moment after work and on the weekends. He didn’t want to be alone and he didn’t want to be still. It was a frenetic pace that was going to destroy him.

Both of these people were wonderful but they were trying desperately to fill up themselves with other people or activities. It was never, ever going to work. We are made to be filled with Jesus Christ. Until we understand that, we’ll never find happiness and contentment.

We see it so often in our society today. We want the latest gadget, the newest car, the Pinterest perfect house. We just know that more stuff will make us happy. When it doesn’t, we speed up that endless rollercoaster we’re on and try all the harder.

I wish everyone could understand how deeply God loves each and every one of us. We can rest in that. We can be content with that. We can be happy with that.

God loves us more than we could ever comprehend. We don’t have to worry about keeping up with everyone else. It doesn’t matter to Him. We don’t have to worry about being alone because He never leaves us alone. We don’t have to have all the answers because He knows everything and gladly fills us with His wisdom when we ask.

No one will ever be content chasing things. And no one will ever be happy trying to force someone else to be everything for them. Fill yourself up with Jesus. Rest in the joy and contentment that comes with Him as the focus of your life.

July 29, 2018

Forever Friends Remain

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

– 1 Samuel 18:1

One of the most beautiful friendships found in the Bible is that between David and Jonathan. It was a friendship that should have been torn apart by power and greed, by an insecure King Saul, and other exterior events and circumstances. But it endured.

We are blessed to have friends that stand with us as time and circumstances change. The sad reality is that most do not.

Perhaps, too, we call people close friends when the reality is that they are only with us for a season of life. It doesn’t mean we don’t care or that they don’t care. It’s just that when what bound us together changes or ends, there’s nothing left but history and nowhere else to go.

Think about the friends you made when you both had children attending the same school, the same classes, the same afterschool activities. When the children grow up, what do you have left in common with those friends? Maybe one child goes away to college while another gets married and has a precious grandchild. Suddenly, people who had so much in common don’t really share anything in common anymore.

Or consider the close friends who have moved away. Very few friendships survive great distance. It’s possible, of course. But the sad reality is that friendships require time and attention. We get so caught up with our daily lives that we can’t sustain the effort a long-distance friendship requires.

Some friendships are only for a season. Perhaps one person was going through a divorce, a season of grief, or a health crisis. When the person finds a new love or regains his health, the friendship changes. The need isn’t there anymore. Some people need to be needed and when that changes, so does the friendship.

And then there are those friends who are there for life. They don’t need to fix you or change you. They quickly defend you, support your decisions, laugh at your bad jokes. They’re the people who will drop everything and rush to help you. You’d do the same for them. And they’re people who don’t need to monopolize your time, or you theirs, for the friendship to remain solid and strong.

The Bible tells us we need such friends in our lives. The course is rocky and some days just leave us battered and bruised. We need people to sustain us. And we need people to laugh with us. We need people for celebration and joy just as much as we need people with a box of Kleenex and wise advice.

God has blessed me with wonderful people in my life. I hope you are blessed as well. True friendship is a treasure to be valued as the greatest of gifts.

And if seasons change and other friendships end, let them go. Don’t cling to what will never be again. Simply cherish the friends who remain.

March 24, 2018

True Friends Are Rare

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.

– Proverbs 15:31

The other day a friend told me he didn’t have too many people who spoke truth in his life. I was one of them, he said.

I was surprised. He shook his head, explaining that most people just tell you what will make you happy or what they believe you want to hear. It takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.

He was right. There seems to be two different camps: Those who want to keep you happy and those who want to tear you apart. A true friend wants to provide guidance with a large dose of kindness and love mingled in. That’s rare.

Years ago I was out shopping with a friend. I debated on purchasing a beautiful dress. I didn’t need it. I didn’t have any place to wear it. But it was just so fine. I asked for advice. My friend encouraged me to buy it. I did.

Months later she sniped that I’d wasted money on that dress. I was shocked. Wasn’t the time to say something before I bought it, when I’d actually asked for her opinion? If she’d told me her opinion back then, I probably wouldn’t have bought the dress.

No. I didn’t throw those words at her. I didn’t really say anything, just let that ugly comment pass on by. We aren’t friends anymore. We haven’t been for years. That day I realized I could never trust her to be honest with me. Yeah. It was just a dress. But what if it had been something more important? Could I trust her to tell me her honest opinion when it came to life issues? I don’t think so.

We all have those folks in our lives that are surface friends. They’re the ones who give easy compliments and laugh at our jokes and chat with us about life. We’re likely just that way with them. But we all need people who speak truth in kindness.

Don’t miss that kindness part. If someone speaks “truth” in order to hurt you or put you down, they don’t have your best interests in their mind. They are jealous and insecure. Some people, unfortunately, can only feel good about themselves when they are downing you or someone else. It’s sad.

Don’t let yourself be a victim to that kind of ugliness. Walk away. There’s no need to get into an argument about it. You can’t fix cruelty. Only God can do that. Pray for them. Be kind. But keep them at a distance.

Surround yourself with people who truly care, people who truly want what’s best for you. Treasure those people. Value them. They are your tribe, your people. Listen to their truth and honor it and them, whether you agree with their words or not. True friends are rare.

March 11, 2018

Who Is Your Tribe?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. – Romans 12:15

Who is your tribe? Who are those people who will be there no matter what is happening in your life?

I lead a weekly Bible journaling class and this was our verse last week. We imagined (Okay. I imagined and they translated in their own unique styles.) having friends who climb in the boat and row furiously toward you, determined to throw you a life preserver even though you are certain that you are drowning.

That’s what I mean by having a tribe. Those are your people. They are the ones who will drop anything and everything to rush to your side. They are the ones who remember to bring a box of tissue when you need to cry. And they are the ones who bring balloons and a heart filled with celebration when times are good.

Do you have people like that in your life? I hope so because life would be so lonely without them.

We weren’t meant to do life alone. We were meant to join together, to carry one another and to rejoice with one another and to share the daily tidbits of life with one another. So why do we feel sometimes that we aren’t worthy of receiving that kind of friendship? And why do we feel sometimes that we have nothing to offer to those God has placed before us?

I am generally quick to be there for my friends. I carry food, arrange lunch plans, make the phone call, send the text. I show up at the hospital or give the hugs and gifts. I try to be a good friend, someone who is present in the lives of those I care about.

I’m not as good at receiving that type of friendship. I hold back. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I don’t want to burden those I care about. Maybe I seem standoffish or totally independent to those who don’t know me. I’m thankful for those who have pushed through the layers of rejection that have scarred me deeply to see who I really am and loved me without reserve.

I’ve been burned. There’s no doubt about that. I’m sure you have been too. We’re messy people, flawed, and sometimes we trust where we shouldn’t. Sometimes we betray those we love. Sometimes life fills us with brokenness.

I’ve learned that some people aren’t meant to be a part of my world. Their drama is too much for my heart. I prefer to surround myself with people who are steady, solid, grounded in a deep faith that shows itself in their lives. Those are my people. They are my tribe.

And I’ve learned to let go. A sweet friend came to me, her eyes reflecting her shattered heart. Family hurts can destroy you if you let it. She’s tried everything but some people refuse to look beyond themselves and the lies they have told. It stings but you let go and go on. “You understand,” she told me. I do. It is the gift we give one another, this gift of friendship and understanding in the midst of our shattered hearts.

Friends make you stronger. And, in turn, you make them stronger. The Bible tells us that where two or three are gathered, God is with us. Embrace that truth. Surround yourself with people who love you no matter what, who believe in you. People you can trust. People who love Jesus with all they have and shower His love on you. That’s your tribe. Those are the people who will furiously paddle a boat toward you in the middle of a storm so they can throw you a life preserver so you won’t drown.

March 8, 2018

True Friends Are Like Gold

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? – Proverbs 20:6 (NLT)

Many a person proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? -- Proverbs 20:6 (ESV)

How many friends do you have? Are you sure about that? Are they truly friends or merely acquaintances? Are they people you can count on in a crisis or are they people who only show up for the party?

I know. We don’t like to think about it, do we? We get so enamored by all the people we “know” that we allow ourselves to believe a warped perspective of it all.

I’m not bashing your friends. I’m also not bashing my friends. I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine by the people God has placed in my life.

However, I have learned something really important, something really basic, when it comes to friendship. It’s this: It doesn’t matter how wonderful someone is to your face. What matters is what they do and say, or don’t do and say, when you aren’t with them.

It’s not something we like to think about. We don’t want to consider what people say about us when we aren’t there. Do they defend us against unjust criticism? Do they voice their own negative views about us? Do they talk about us with others? Do they tell confidences, assuming we’ll never know?

Life is hard sometimes. What makes it harder is finding out that someone you trusted was someone who never really had your back. The betrayal stings. No amount of excuses ever quite erases the aftermath.

There’s a flip side to that, of course. What happens when you’re on the other side? Are you quick to defend your friends or do you remain silent when someone says something ugly about them? Do you join in the criticisms or do you speak up and walk away?

I’m sure none of us ever consider that we’re gossiping. We probably don’t think that sharing is the same as breaking a confidence. It is.

Here’s something else to consider: If someone is telling you something about someone else, what do you think that person is telling others about you? Do you believe your “friendship” makes you immune to the ugliness? It doesn’t. People who think it’s okay to bash one person usually don’t think anything about bashing others as well.

As I said earlier, I am blessed by the people God has brought into my life. I have been prayed for and carried when I didn’t think I could survive another day. I have wonderful people who laugh with me and teach me and check on me regularly.

And then there are those who ask all the right questions but for all the wrong reasons. Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you felt that sting of betrayal before?

I really don’t care so much anymore about how nice someone is to my face. I take it for what it is: A pleasant relationship. But friendship? That’s something way more. Friends are those who defend me behind my back and keep my confidences. They are more valuable than gold. And I treasure them beyond anything. I sure hope you are blessed to have true friends in your life. There’s nothing quite like them. Nothing at all.

April 13, 2016

True Friendship Is Priceless

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. -- 1 Samuel 20:42

Friendship. It’s more valuable than any amount of jewels. It means more than any amount of money. It carries you through the tough times and brings laughter during the good times.

I just got off the phone with a dear friend I rarely see. I haven’t spoken to her in months and yet we talked for more than a hour. It wasn’t idle chit chat. We can share our hearts, picking up where we left off no matter how long it’s been.

It’s just like that with some people. They matter to you and you matter to them. Maybe your lives aren’t the same anymore but your hearts are. That’s where the real connection lives.

David and Jonathan loved each other as brothers. They shouldn’t have. At least that’s the conclusion if you look at their friendship from the outside looking in. David was God’s chosen one, the man who would be king. Jonathan was the king’s son and next in line to the throne.

You would expect a power struggle. You would expect a jealous fight. You would expect them to betray each other in their battle to be king. Never happened. They were friends until the end and, even then, David brought Jonathan’s son to his own table and treated him as family.

True friendship is like that. You take care of one another. Distance comes and goes but you still take care of each other.

Another dear friend recently lost her mother. I haven’t seen her in a while. Our lives are filled with care giving and work and all the details of a busy life. And, yet, I would drop everything to rush to her side if she needed me. She would do the same. We’ve been friends since we were small children. Those are pretty strong bonds.

Everyone needs people in their lives they can count on. For some fortunate people, family fills that role. For others, friends become the family everyone needs. A few fortunate folks have both. I hope you have people you can count on. If you don’t, ask God to help you find friends that are dependable and true. They are priceless.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

This is from David Jeremiah this morning. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Fall Favorites: Fellowship

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8

Recommended Reading Romans 13:8-11

Sam Rayburn served nearly a half-century in the U.S. House of Representatives and became one of the most powerful men in the world, but he never outgrew his friends. One night, a friend's daughter passed away. Early the next morning the man heard a knock on his door, and when he opened it, Mr. Rayburn stood outside. "I just came by to see what I could do to help," said Rayburn. The man said nothing could be done.

"Well," Mr. Rayburn said, "have you had your coffee this morning?" While Rayburn was working in the kitchen, the man came in and said, "Mr. Speaker, I thought you were supposed to be having breakfast at the White House this morning."

"Well, I was," Rayburn said, "but I called the President and told him I had a friend who was in trouble, and I couldn't come."

Sometime during this fall season someone will need your support and fellowship. A friend in trouble is the most important person in the world; and fellowship is the funnel through which our love flows to others. Do you have a friend in need today?

Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.
John Fawcett