April 28, 2018

God Controls Life and Death

The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. – 1 Samuel 2:6

I had done all that I could. It was in God’s hands. That was my last prayer of the night. Whether the little calf lived or died was up to God.

The calf died. I found it early this morning. It hadn’t been dead long. The calf was barely past newborn. She simply failed to thrive and nothing I did helped. Her mama was beyond distraught. There was nothing I could do.

My cousin tells me I get too attached to the cows. He’s right. I know that. But I’ve never reached the point where I can detach and not care. I hope I never do.

We’d like to think we can control the outcome of just about everything. But the truth is we can only do our best and trust God with the rest. That’s true for everyone, including doctors. They do their best and still sometimes death comes.

It’s easy to see God’s power in life and in death. We can’t restore a life that has gone. But God is in control, sitting on His throne, in everything we do. Look around. Can’t you see the evidence of Him? God is everywhere. We need only open our eyes and look.

I take comfort in His Presence on this long hard day, one that followed several long, hard days. When a calf is sick, everything else gets pushed to the back so that I can do all I can to try and save her life.

The same is true with people. When someone you love is sick, suddenly your schedule, your entire life, gets shifted around. Priorities change. Your life becomes hospitals and rehab and home health and doctor appointments. You become well-versed in language you’d never heard before. You pick up on the slightest changes. You have to. Life and death are unforgiving task masters.

I know not everyone sees it this way. Some people barely change anything. They are content to sit back and let someone else do the day to day tasks. They aren’t interested in keeping an all-night vigil or days spent loading and unloading a wheelchair and helping someone get from appointment to appointment.

It’s sad what they miss. There is pain and frustration, inconvenience and loss of income. There are a million different tasks waiting every single day. Juggling becomes a lifestyle. It’s just how it is.

But there is joy too. There is honor in caring for someone you love when they can no longer do it for themselves. There is a painful satisfaction that comes when the day is done and you know that you did all you could. No one can take that from you.

I wanted that little calf to live. She was beautiful and sweet and I wanted her to grow up and have babies of her own. God had a different plan. I’ve come to accept that sometimes death comes no matter how hard we try to prevent it. God is in control. I love and trust His Holy Name. On sad days like this, that really is all that matters.