Monday, January 30, 2012

God Turns Anguish Into Joy

But I will call on God and the LORD will rescue me. -- Psalm 55:16

I just love the psalms. Don’t you? They are prayers to God, worship and crying out in anguish and joy. The psalms contain words that could easily fill our hearts in these days in which we live. They are so vibrant and alive.

As a child, I read the psalms again and again. I had a tattered Bible that had belonged to my mother when she was a girl. I loved that Bible so much. The words -- in the King James Version -- comforted me, even as I sometimes struggled to understand their meaning.

I’ve read those same words many, many times as an adult. But somehow, this year, I’m really seeing those words in a whole different way. I’m hearing David’s pain. I’m understanding how often the man after God’s own heart cried out to His Creator for help, for comfort, for defense. I’m understanding why the child that I was turned to the psalms for comfort in the storm that was my life.

He rescues me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, even though many still oppose me. -- Psalm 55:18

Anguish is what brought me to God. It wasn’t some powerful sermon or horrible tragedy. It was an unwanted life and a child desperate for someone to love her. What’s your story? We all have one. Some are pretty and some aren’t. But each story is as unique as the individuals who tell them.

Beth Moore said something truly profound in her DVD series on James. She said that if we trust God with our anguish, it will birth something precious out of us. What has happened to us will turn into our deliverance, she said. I’d never thought of it like that yet it made so much sense.

We are the people we are because of where we have been. There is no today without yesterday. Good and bad. We can either be the victim that we were or the child God always meant us to be.

That doesn’t mean we leave the past behind. We aren’t made that way. While we do need to get past it, we can use it to fuel ourselves forward. As a child, Moore was a victim of sexual abuse. Today she leads wonderful Bible studies and has a special passion for abuse victims. She has turned something horrible into something amazing.

God can turn our worst experiences into something joyous by creating a new birth through Him. But we have to show up. We have to believe. We have to trust in what He can and will do. Are you ready for all the amazing things God has planned for you? Let Him turn your greatest sorrow into something amazing too.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Cry Out To God

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. -- 1 Samuel 1:10

It’s difficult not to have what everyone else has. It’s especially difficult to have it thrown in your face again and again. In Hannah’s case, she desperately wanted a child. Her husband’s other wife, Peninnah, had children but Hannah didn’t even have one. Peninnah made fun of Hannah and taunted her. That compounded Hannah's hurt.

I’m sure some people have always managed to get exactly what they want. I don’t think I know any of them, but they’re probably out there somewhere. For the rest of us, it’s difficult to really want something and know there’s no way you can have it. Whether it’s merely a want or a need doesn’t really matter. Sometimes your heart really doesn't know the difference.

When I was a child, my brother and I were instructed to make a Christmas wish list every year. I’m not sure how old I was when this started. I do remember one very important lesson I learned: I never received anything I put on the list. One year I even copied the list, just to be sure I wasn’t mistaken. I wasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong. There were always lots of presents and fun toys to play with. And, yes, I’m well aware that many children don’t get presents at all. I’m not whining. Truly. It was just so disappointing to realize that if I asked for something I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn’t get it. Just because I asked. What a sad lesson to learn.

That situation hasn’t changed but I have. I’ve learned not to ask for anything. Except I don’t think that’s what God intended. Surely, He never expected us to just sit back and take whatever comes our way without ever wanting more? Or did He? I’ve really never been sure.

But here’s what I do know: God gave Hannah a baby. She dedicated Samuel to God. And God gave her more children. God heard Hannah and He answered her prayer. Now I’m not saying that God will give us everything we ask for, but I can’t believe He doesn’t want us to ask. Or that He won’t at least give us some of the things we seek.

So I’m crying out to God to sooth the anguish in my soul, to give me the salve that will heal my broken heart. I’m praying to the God who hears me when no one else does. And maybe, just maybe, one day He'll answer.