September 1, 2021

 

What’s Your Excuse?

 

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. – Proverbs 14:12

 

It’s been a sad week. A sad mon Ph really. So many people I know have loved ones fighting for their lives. Others are deep in grief for someone gone too soon. The reason? Covid. That’s the simple answer. The rest of the answer is way more complicated.

 

Every person that I know who is sick or dead refused to get the vaccination. Every single one. They had a choice and they said no. Those who are alive are fighting to regain strength and abilities lost during the long hospital stay. They will never be fully okay. Others are dead. Gone. Leaving behind husbands and wives and children.

 

I struggle to understand their refusal. I listen to the excuses from those who have yet to be diagnosed and I am astounded at their answers. The shot implants a chip. It hasn’t been fully approved. It decreases your immune system and you have health issues. It makes you spread the virus. Covid isn’t real, just manufactured by the government. I was in the military and had to take vaccines so now I refuse to take any vaccine. Need I go on?

 

Most of us have always taken vaccines. They were required before we started school. We take the flu vaccine and the shingles vaccine. It’s part of life that helps keep us healthy. But suddenly we’re finding some who are adamant that they have a “right” to not take a vaccine. They have a “right” to infect whoever they want, to get sick and overwhelm the hospitals and to leave their families grief-stricken.

 

Your “freedom” to choose comes with consequences that go far beyond your choice. It means people who need surgery can’t get it because there are no hospital beds. It means someone who has a heart attack or accident could be sent hundreds of miles away to a hospital with a vacant bed. It means that healthcare workers are overwhelmed and exhausted with no end in sight. It means all of us are back to wearing masks because you refused to do your part.

 

I struggle not to become hard-hearted toward those who are so busy being right until it happens to them. Then it’s too late. Then, if they live, they know that Covid is real. Then, if they die, they leave family and friends behind. Surely a vaccine was better than a coffin.

 

Lord, please, open their eyes before it’s too late. Please soften my heart to those who are creating such sadness.

April 21, 2018

When Is A Lie A Lie?

An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.

– Proverbs 14:5

When is a lie a lie? I know. You’re probably dismissing this question, thinking the answer is obvious. Are you sure?

A friend asks if you like her new dress. It is hideous. Do you tell her it looks great on her? Do you try and come up with something nice to say, such as “All that matters is that you like it,” avoiding telling your honest opinion. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. What do you say?

Or maybe your co-worker is ranting about something at work. You remain silent until he asks for your support. You desperately try to sidestep the issue because you don’t agree with him. Do you tell him you think he’s wrong? Or do you sidestep the issue, trying to find a way to avoid speaking your truth?

Truth isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s the gray area between being honest and avoiding hurting someone we value. We aren’t all wordsmiths, able to instantly come up with a truth that works without giving away our honest opinions. Sometimes we tell a “white lie” to avoid the pain. Is that wrong? Surely God understands. Doesn’t He?

Here’s another question: If you intentionally mislead someone to believe something you know isn’t the truth, did you lie to them? Technically, you didn’t. You used words to skirt the truth, knowing they would believe a falsehood. You didn’t bother to correct their conclusion because that was your point.

I call it playing word games with people. The deception causes much hurt. What happens when the truth emerges? What happens if your words lead others to think badly of someone? Maybe that was your point.

Is the intent to deceive really a lie? Well, that’s for God to judge but here’s what the Bible says: God looks at the heart. In your heart, did you lie? Did you deceive? There’s your answer.

My first semester of college included a Mass Communication 101 course. One of the things we studied was how tabloids can twist information to make it sound like something that isn’t true. They rarely get sued because it’s all based on a tidbit of truth. But it sure does mislead readers and viewers and hurt those who are the targets.

Oh, yes. The media. We all love to bash the media. Look in the mirror. Are you a consumer of mistruth? Do you share it on Facebook or other social media outlets? Do you check out your sources before you hit the share button or do you just assume that if it sounds like what you believe it must be true?

Hatred has a way of darkening our hearts without us even knowing it. We’re so focused on being right that we miss the lies right before us.

Think about your own language, your own beliefs, your own heart. How many times do you pass on a bit of gossip? How many times do you criticize without knowing the facts? How often do you judge what isn’t any of your business anyway?

I’ll ask you again: When is a lie a lie? Think about it. Look into your own heart. You may not be as honest as you think you are.

February 22, 2018

Let God be God

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. – Proverbs 14:12

We like to tell other people what to do, don’t we? We like to sit on our throne and pass judgement on those around us.

Of course, we don’t view it that way. We only want what’s best for them. They just can’t see the truth like we do. And don’t they read the Bible? Don’t they see the wrong in what they’re doing?

There’s one major problem in always knowing how other people should live their lives: it’s embedded in idolatry of ourselves.

Wait a minute, you’re saying about now. No. I don’t idolize myself, you’re insisting. Are you sure about that?

Why do you think that you have the right to judge others or to instruct them as to how they should live their lives? We’re not talking about a preacher speaking from the pulpit or a teacher leading a class. We’re talking about individuals who go around getting angry because others aren’t living their lives the way we think they should.

I have had so much “advice” in recent years. What about you? People are quick to tell me what to do and how to do it. They aren’t quick to actually help when it comes to work. They aren’t there to cope with the sorrow and everyday heartaches. Not at all. They’d rather stand outside and point their fingers at what they don’t understand and what isn’t any of their business.

How about you? Do you have people who want to manage your life too? Are they giving you unsolicited advice about jobs or child-rearing or how to take care of your lawn?

I have a neighbor whose name I don’t even know. He and his wife seem nice enough except that he has decided that with my Daddy gone on to heaven that it’s his job to give me advice about cows. Except the man doesn’t own cows. He’s never owned cows. His comments are condescending and ignorant.

I’ve tried to be nice but mostly I just avoid him. I don’t want to deal with him. Do I ever need advice? Absolutely. And when I do, I seek out people who own livestock. I ask questions from people who deal with cows every single day.

He means well. I tell myself that again and again. I know it’s not about me. Really, it isn’t. It’s about his need to control the actions of someone else. People who try to direct the lives of others are all about control.

We all probably have someone like that in our lives. Maybe we are that person for someone else. We are making ourselves an idol, believing that we know better than anyone else, including God.

Ah. There it is. God is the One in control. God is the One directing our steps. God is the One who knows the right path for each of us.

Sometimes we believe truly, deep down in our hearts, that we know the best path for someone else. We don’t. Certainly, pray about your concerns. If the person has taken a wrong path, the Holy Spirit will convict them. But whatever you do, get out of the way and Let God be God. Trust Him with your own life and the lives of those around you.

February 18, 2016

Show the Poor Compassion

Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
but whoever is kind to the needy honors God. -- Proverbs 14:31

It’s so frustrating to see all those ugly posts that pop up on Facebook and are aimed at the poor. They assume that if someone is poor, that person is also too lazy to work. What’s worse? Many of those people are Christians who don‘t see a problem with their attitude.

Are there people who receive welfare, food stamps and Medicaid who are too lazy to work? I’m sure there are. But the majority? Not even close.

Let me tell you about a few I know. One is an older woman who worked until two strokes took her eyesight. She doesn’t have enough money for utilities, food and medicine. Food is often the last on her list. Fortunately, the senior citizen director noticed her weight loss and got her signed up for food stamps.

Another man searched for a job for two years. He and his wife both worked for the same company -- until it closed down. Nobody wanted to hire a middle-aged man. He was either two qualified or not qualified enough. He was desperate. Yes, they received food stamps for themselves and two children. He finally got a job cleaning houses. His wife got a minimum wage job at a gas station. Were they too lazy to work? No. They just couldn’t find a job. Until you’ve walked in their shoes, don’t judge.

What about the young mother whose husband left her? She has no job skills and two children who require care. Yeah. I know. There’s always somebody to condemn her for having children. Or choosing the wrong man for their father. But here’s the reality: She is only qualified for a minimum wage job. That won’t support her and two children, especially when she must pay for childcare. And we won’t even talk about lost pay when one or both of the children get sick. She needs a helping hand, not a judgmental lecture.

One thing I’ve always noticed about those who judge: they don’t have a clue. I had hoped that the economic downturn would turn more folks into compassionate people. Some missed out all around.

For we who claim Christ as Savior, it should never be an issue. We are called to be kind and compassionate to the poor. We are told repeatedly not to judge. Why do we think it’s okay to do both -- and do it publicly? It’s one of the many reasons the unsaved condemn Christians as being hypocrites. Shame on us all!

　

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Lies Destroy

A truthful witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies. -- Proverbs 14:5

It was such a stupid thing. Really. She told me she wasn’t using the water from the over-full kids’ swimming pool to water her plants because the water was “too hot.” I was surprised and walked over and stuck my fingers into the cool water.

“This water’s not hot,” I told her.

She didn’t miss a beat. “Well, I didn’t want to fool with using it.”

I nodded. Fine, I thought to myself. But did you have to lie about it? Seriously? If you’ve got to lie, why not lie about something that actually matters?

I wanted to laugh but instead I shook my head and went inside. Another day, another moment, another lie. I’ve almost reached the point where I feel like I must fact-check everything she says.

Except when it’s about me. Why have I always believed her lies about me? And to me? And why do others always seem to believe her lies about me as well? I’ll probably never know.

It’s sort of like a make-it-up-as-you-go lifestyle. Is it about control? Possibly. It’s definitely about insecurity. And habit. And the need to build herself up, and put others down, so she feels better about herself. It would be sad if I wasn’t forever dealing with its aftermath.

A few months ago a sweet friend brought her two daughters to the house to see the cows. While I left to retrieve something, she told this lovely woman that “she did everything” around the house and farm. I know this because the horrified woman asked me later if it was true. I was stunned and assured her it wasn’t but, you know, the woman has never been as friendly as before.

I guess the thought that an elderly woman who work herself to death, while I let her, was more than she could get past. It wasn’t true, of course. In fact, just the opposite is true. While the woman has moments of busyness, she mostly sits in her recliner playing solitaire or doing word search puzzles. While the rest of us work, I might add.

Why do people lie? I can understand the need to spare feelings when faced with an unflattering outfit or haircut. I don’t think we always have to tell everything we know and do just because someone is nosy enough to ask us. But when the lies are silly and harmful and just so routine, then there’s a real problem there.

All of us probably have at least one or two people in our lives who are just dishonest. If you’re looking for answers from me on how to cope with it, I don’t have any. I’ve just learned to turn it over to God and let most of it go. No matter how much it hurts. And no matter how stupid it seems. And no matter what others believe.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Are You Playing God?

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. -- Proverbs 14:12

“I can handle it.” He’s thrown that statement at me too many times to count. So imagine my surprise when Pastor Rob used those very words in an illustration of someone who is trying to play God.

Oh, wow. That was such a God-speaking moment. But, you know, it fits. I’ve often viewed his pride and arrogance as frustrations. I’ve never quite thought about those qualities as coming from someone trying to control everything around them.

Pastor Rob told us that the more insecure a person is the more he wants to control others and their lives as well. I see that so clearly now. One of my greatest frustrations is his repeated attempts to control my life. I just never viewed it as his own insecurity shining through.

It is funny how sometimes we “see” what others should do and be so much more clearly than how we “see” ourselves and our own frailties. It’s that whole plank in our own eye versus speck in someone else’s eye. We criticize and condemn others even though our own lives are filled with opportunities for improvement.

Mostly I laugh it off. I have to in order to stay sane. But it hurts. Really. It does. When everything you do, everything you say, everything you dream, is met with criticism and ridicule. Some days I’m tempted to throw in the towel and hand the responsibility off to someone else. Other days I’m determined to stick it out because I believe I’m where God has called me to be.

I wish I were talking about a child because children grow up. But I’m talking about an adult who is slowly losing the independence he values so highly. And it’s all my fault, probably because I’m the only one brave enough to try and help him when he is determined to do it himself.

He resents my participation, much as he has always resented my presence. He needs me. Some days he even acknowledges that fact by “allowing” me to help him. But mostly there is drama and resentment and ugly comments that seem to bury themselves deep in my heart.

He knows best. He always has. Just ask him. Except none of us know everything and everybody needs help every now and then. He’s just so accustomed to doing it all by himself, refusing to acknowledge even God’s hand in his life, that this new stage is causing him to lash out in anger.

He is a Christian. He says so and mostly I believe him. Either way, it’s between him and God. But I don’t believe any of us get through this life without coming to understand how little control we actually have. God is in control of everything but we can’t control much of anything. Not the weather. Not the actions of other people. Not whether our employer stays in business or our spouse remains faithful or our loved ones live long lives.

We think we know more than we do. We think we control more than we do. We hold on to those things when really the greatest freedom comes in relinquishing our perceived control and handing it over to Almighty God who does control the universe.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Let Go Of Past Mistakes

Laughter can conceal a heavy heart; when the laughter ends, the grief remains. -- Proverbs 14:13

There’s a song titled “Suitcases” that is currently on the play list of contemporary Christian radio stations. The singer, Dara Maclean, really captures what it is like to be a Christian who refuses to let go of the baggage of past mistakes.

We do that, don’t we? We hang on to our pasts, refusing to believe that the blood of Jesus could just wash it all away. Oh, we know. We do. But believing in our hearts that He did it for all those ugly secrets is something else. It’s just not so easy to let go when deep in our hearts we’re just not sure.

We should be. We know that. But why is it so easy to accept forgiveness for some things but not for others? Perhaps because society tells us which sins are “acceptable” and which are not. God doesn’t categorize sin in that way. Sin is sin. But somehow it makes us feel superior to think we’re “better” than others because our sins aren’t as “bad.” Until, maybe, they are.

I get so frustrated sometimes when people look down on others because of where they’re at in life. It’s easy to judge. It’s not so easy to understand that every path is as different as every person. Some people take a hit and bounce up. Other people take a hit and fall down. It doesn’t make one person better than another; just different.

Funny how laughter hides so many sorrows, so many sins, so much baggage, so much pain. The other day one of the finest women I know said she couldn’t understand why an abused child wouldn’t tell someone or how a mother could look the other way. In her world, abuse just doesn’t happen. In the real world, it does.

An abused child doesn’t tell because of fear and rejection. It is their “normal.“ They carry those secrets carry into adulthood, coloring every moment of life. I wonder, sometimes, how many “failures” spent their childhoods as victims. I look around and see so many valiant people who have battled back, turned their lives around, emerged stronger than they ever thought possible. Few people would guess what they’ve endured. Smiling faces hide pain so well.

And when they do speak up, when they do share, they should be embraced. They have such courage. Why must they remain silent victims because their truth makes us so uncomfortable? They deserve the freedom that comes from finally letting go of those suitcases and realizing what it means to live a life free of baggage. You can be free too.

Imagine yourself standing there with all your past sins strapped around your waist. You’ve got all the sins others committed against you that you could not or would not stop hanging around your neck. All the ways you’ve acted out are strapped onto your back. Now imagine Jesus cutting the straps -- one after another after another.

That’s what freedom in Christ is. No more baggage. Take a deep breath. Feel His peace. You’re forgiven for it all. You’re finally free to be the person God created you to be.