June 14, 2021

 

Love Reflects Jesus

 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

– John 13:34-35

 

Ugliness abounds. Hateful comments. Snide remarks. Lies meant to bring harm and discord. Hatred clothed in opinion narratives. The saddest thing? These are sins from people who claim to follow Jesus.

 

The hardest part of the past couple of years has been watching friends I truly believed to be strong Christians fall into this ugliness. It’s not about politics. I don’t care what your opinion is. I do care deeply about how you express that opinion. It breaks my heart to see people cast aside simply because they disagree with someone. Who are we to judge?

 

We are no one. The Bible tells us not to judge. But we do. All the time, in every way imaginable. Race, religion, sexual orientation, political views, economic status. We almost don’t need a reason to spew ugliness about another person. What does that say about us?

 

Our lives are meant to reflect Jesus to a dark and hurting world. Every time we allow ourselves to point fingers or share ugly words, we remind others of why they don’t want to know Jesus. Who would invite that kind of hatred into their own lives?

 

Except Jesus has nothing to do with hatred. It’s always important to remember that when He got angry it was at the religious elite who were so busy being “right” that they missed their Savior.

 

The next time you’re tempted to toss out your “opinion” consider how Jesus might react to hearing those words. If it’s not about loving others as He does, then just keep your thoughts to yourself.

September 21, 2018

You Deserve Better

“Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have God’s love within you.” – John 5:41-42 (NLT)

She went on and on and on. Rehashing what a co-worker had said and done and, in some cases, what she hadn’t said and done. Her commentary was laced with profanity. Every subject came back to the person who had hurt and angered her.

I cautioned her to let it go. It’s not easy but the only person she’s hurting is herself. The other person doesn’t even realize she was in the wrong. She doesn’t understand the move at work wasn’t a promotion or an opportunity. Continuing to be angry and badmouth her isn’t going to impact or change her attitude.

I love the NLT version of this verse. Jesus didn’t get His worth from others. We should follow His example. We are valuable because we belong to Jesus. We are beloved children of God. That’s all that matters. Really.

We get so caught up in what other people think of us, don’t we? The truth is that some people will like us and some people won’t. And we’ll like some people and some people we won’t like. That’s okay. We can love them like Jesus and we can be kind. We can still get along with each other.

Why do we make it so hard? Why do we hang on to bitterness and rage? Why do we let other people push our buttons and take control of our emotions and, thus, our lives? Why do we give people that kind of power over us?

The saddest part of this isn’t just that we’re harming ourselves. It’s that we are also harming people we love. Think about it. We take that bad mood home. We spew that venom in front of our children and our spouse, our friends and family. Time that we could spend in laughter is spent rehashing something that was awful but done.

What if it isn’t done, you ask. Sometimes forgiveness is a daily thing. And sometimes we have to walk away from toxic people. I don’t buy in to that line that we always should work for reconciliation. We can only change ourselves. We can’t change others. Only God can do that. And I don’t believe God expects us to be in relationship with people who want to harm us either through words or actions.

How many women have gone back to their abusive husbands because they said they were sorry. And how many have endured abuse again and again because of it. How many children have lived with alcoholic parents, trying to pretend everything was okay, always willing to forgive because they are so desperate for a morsel of love and affection? How many teens seek the love and approval they don’t get at home in the arms of those who don’t care about anything but the sex? Need I go on?

When we get our value, our worth, from anyone but God we are setting ourselves up for rejection. We are never going to please everyone all the time. It’s not our job or our responsibility. So, when we get our value from their approval, well, that’s just a disaster that is going to happen.

When your emotions threaten to get the best of you, take a deep breath and remember who your Father is. Yeah, that’s Him. God. The Creator of heaven and earth. Almighty God. Yahweh. You are loved and cherished by the only One who matters.

August 31, 2018

Words Reveal the Heart

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

– Luke 6:45

On the surface, she is a good person. She is a loving wife, mother and grandmother. She volunteers at church. She works hard at her job. She is a go-getter who gets things done.

Then there is the rest of the story. She is an arrogant bully who uses whatever means necessary – gossip, lies, political backstabbing – to get her own way. Even at church, where such things should never be in the equation, she is known as a bully. Ouch.

Do you know someone like her? Are you that person? Do you display an attitude if people don’t agree with your suggestions? Do you get angry and talk bitterly behind someone’s back when they choose something different? Are you a win-at-all-costs kind of person?

It’s as though we’ve developed a disconnect between living as Jesus and living to get what we want. In Jesus’ name, of course. We believe that it doesn’t matter how we reach our end goal. We justify our behavior as being okay because it’s for a worthy cause. It’s not okay.

I recently watched this woman turn to ice and struggle to even speak because she was so angry. The reason? Someone else decided to place a combination lock on a cabinet rather than the key lock she chose. What difference did it make? More people would have access to supplies without having to track down a key. It made sense. But it wasn’t her idea and she was furious.

When we find ourselves getting overly upset about small things, maybe it’s time to do a heart check. When we become furious because someone doesn’t do things exactly the way we think they should be done, maybe it’s time to rethink our motives. Pride comes immediately to mind. So do control issues.

Who’s in charge of your life? Who’s in charge of your heart? If the answer is anyone other than Jesus, then you’ve got a problem that impacts everyone around you. As Christians, we’re called to live for Jesus. Our words and our behavior should reflect that.

The hard truth is that we’re not always going to get our own way. And that’s okay. The hard truth is that not every idea we have is going to be well received by others. And that’s okay. The hard truth is that not everyone is always going to like how we do things. And that’s okay.

Life has taught me to let go of the small things that don’t really matter in the end. I’ve learned to let things roll off my shoulders when they don’t make a difference to Jesus. Consequently, I’ve grown stronger in standing up for things that really do matter. I’ve become someone who won’t back down when it comes to Biblical truths and decency.

We’re on the same team, you and I. We’re Christians trying to live as Jesus’ light in a dark and trying world. It’s when we lose sight of that, when we try to make it about us, that we end up spewing out anger and bitterness that have no place in God’s Kingdom.

So, the next time you get ready to have an attitude with someone else, look in the mirror first. You might find that the real problem lies in your heart.

July 12, 2018

Would You Say It To Jesus?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

– Romans 12:18

Do you get upset when someone who doesn’t share your political views? Do you get angry with a co-worker who disagrees with your proposal? Are you furious when your spouse nixes a trip, a purchase, or something else you wanted?

I am amazed by the rhetoric that sometimes comes with a disagreement. It’s not about opinions. We’re all unique individuals. Of course, we aren’t going to see things the same way.

I am astounded at the seriousness of those disagreements, the hatred and ugliness that sometimes comes when people don’t agree. Whatever happened to civil discussions? Why can’t we just agree to disagree, as the saying goes, and focus on what’s important?

As Christians, we are destroying ourselves from within with our pettiness and ugliness. Unfortunately, the people leading this charge “in the name of Jesus” don’t have a clue to the damage they’re inflicting. They’re so focused on being “right” that they’re missing Jesus’ call on all our lives. Much like the Pharisees did, I might add.

I don’t care if you’re a Republican or a Democrat. It really doesn’t matter if you think highly of President Trump or you don’t. I don’t need you to agree with my choice of music, how a pastor does communion or even if we should gather on Sunday nights or not.

What does matter? Do you love Jesus? Do you love others as He commanded? Do you welcome all, regardless of the baggage they might carry? Do you give with an open heart and an open hand?

We sometimes get so focused on our own opinions, our own agendas, our own pride and arrogance that we miss what’s truly important. We tell ourselves that it’s all about Jesus but in reality it’s all about us. We think we know more than anyone else. We push people away from Jesus all the while claiming that we’re the way and the truth.

Did you catch that last sentence? It’s not a typo. It’s not a wrong word choice. I meant to write “we’re” instead of “He’s” the way. Do you know why? Because sometimes we’re so busy proclaiming our own opinions that we lose our way. It becomes about us and not about Him.

Why do we need to be “right”? Why do we get defensive when someone disagrees with us? Why do we take it personally? Why is our ego so attached to another person’s opinion? God’s opinion is the only opinion that really matters.

So many questions. I know. But I really want you to think about your words and actions. It’s not about your right to your own opinion. It’s about Jesus’ right to control what we say and do. It’s about living for Him instead of living for ourselves.

The next time you bristle at someone who disagrees with you, think about Jesus. The next time you are tempted to blast someone for their opinion, imagine Jesus standing before you. Would you say those words to Him? Would you throw out accusations, bring up past hurts, or tell Him that He’s stupid for believing something different? Then, don’t say it to the person disagreeing with you.

April 14, 2018

Bickering Destroys Us

If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. – Galatians 5:15

A few years ago conversations turned heated in the contemporary worship committee meetings. The argument was always the same: Do we start a second service or continue with just one contemporary service each week.

Those in favor got ugly in their pursuit of being right. They offered up studies and statistics. They vowed to do whatever was necessary, to commit whatever hours were needed, to make it happen.

The other side argued that the church didn’t need a fourth service. The attendance in the one contemporary service didn’t justify adding a second one. We likely wouldn’t increase overall church attendance with the additional service. Oh, and one of the praise bands couldn’t be available at the second service.

The second service was added. Members of the second praise band continued for the first service until the criticism and putdowns got to be too much. They left the church, taking their gifts and talents with them.

Did we add members to the church? No. All we added was discord. Ironically, one of the most vocal proponents of the second service now desperately wants to see it end. He’s decided that the extra work, something he was so glad to do before it began, is just too much. But it’s a lot easier to add a service than to take one away.

One Sunday school class has been around for a long time. It began when its members were young professionals with small children. Now they are elderly retirees, with grandchildren and, in some cases, great grandchildren. They’ve earned the right to get their way on any and all issues. Just ask them.

The thermostat must be set according to their needs. It doesn’t matter that the class next door must literally use blankets in the summer because their classroom is so cold. They aren’t interested in a happy medium where everyone is satisfied. And they’re glad to hatefully tell anyone that.

The other day I was showing someone photos from a wonderful Easter play. She and her husband are new to town and I wanted to encourage her to attend our church. Two women quickly chimed in: At least we got to sing our song. The pastor didn’t want us to do it but we needed the time to get “Jesus” on the cross. It was just such a mess. I don’t know why the pastor was so difficult about it.

Seriously? That conversation should have stayed at the play rehearsal. No one needed to know about the disagreement. And certainly not someone looking for a church home. Is that who we are? Is that what we’ve become? Is it any wonder that people are staying away from churches? Who wants to be a part of that?

God turned that play into something that was powerful and moving, a live illustration of how Jesus suffered and what He did for us. It wasn’t about a song; it was about a Savior. How could they miss that?

We are so intent on getting our own way, on demanding that our voices be heard. All the outside world sees is the ugliness of destruction. We are destroying ourselves with our petty differences and need to be in control. Those who constantly grumble among themselves are destined to ultimately fail.

May 15, 2016

Love As God Loves

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. -- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

God is love. That’s what the Bible tells us. It’s not so much about how much He loves us, though He loves us more than we could ever imagine. It’s about how we are to love others as He has loved us.

There’s a huge debate -- I am being gracious here -- about which school restroom transgender students should use. Amid the appalled cries of woe, I wonder has anyone stopped to consider the feelings of the transgender students? Has anyone consider that they are already ostracized and bullied?

I don’t begin to understand what being a transgender person is all about. I don’t understand. And, yes, I’ve read the Bible -- several times. And that’s where I get that part about love and compassion and kindness.

When did we decide that it was okay to forgo those key elements of our faith when someone steps on our political toes? That’s what it is: politics. It’s not about the Bible, no matter how loudly we proclaim that it is.

We are told to pray for our nation. We are told to pray for those who disagree with us. I have to wonder how many of us really do that. Do you pray about these political issues or do you just loudly proclaim your hatred and disgust and tell yourself you’re protecting your faith?

It really is possible to disagree with someone’s lifestyle and still love the person. Let me give you an example: Your daughter and her boyfriend live together. You believe in purity until marriage. You disagree with her choice. Do you condemn her and refuse to associate with her? Or do you voice your displeasure but continue to love her just as much as before she made that choice?

If you’re unhappy with this issue, pray about it. Join others in prayer. God listens. Trust Him to handle it. God really doesn’t need us to defend Him or His Word. Really. He doesn’t. He’s quite capable of doing it Himself.

What God does want and expect is for us to pray for His Presence to heal our land. He expects us to love all sinners, regardless of their sin. God demands that we not judge lest we be judged by our own impossible standards.

I know this is all frightening. It’s just so more easier to surround ourselves with people we understand and people who believe as we do. But that’s not the reality of our world. It is possible to stand true to our faith, to love God with all our hearts, and to love ALL His children regardless of who or what they do. It isn’t always easy but it is possible.

So the next time you decide to get on your political high horse, take a few minutes and take it to God. Tell Him all about it, then listen to what He has to say. Love one another. Be kind. Show this fallen world who God really is.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Learn And Grow In Christ

So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. -- Galatians 5:1

Have you ever read the Bible all the way through? I know I’m putting you on the spot. Some of you will answer “yes” without hesitation. But many will squirm and say they’ve read “most of it” through Bible studies and Sunday school. It isn’t the same thing.

We’d all like to believe that Christians always get it right. We should know better because if there’s one thing we can pretty much guarantee it’s that Christians will disagree over just about anything.

It’s not that we plan to get it wrong. It’s just that we always think we’ve got it right and that other Christians have it wrong. Look at the issue of women and their role in the church. That’s certainly a powder keg.

Several years ago I sat in the congregation and listened as a pastor preached on a specific passage of Scripture. As he went on and on, I found myself shaking my head. I began to read the footnotes in my Bible. Yeah. The pastor had it wrong. I’m not sure anyone else in the congregation realized it because, well, he was the pastor and he was supposed to know what the Bible says.

The other day in Sunday school I listened as a visitor told us a few things about the Bible. And he really could quote the Bible. He didn’t understand too much about applying Scripture in our lives -- he seems to believe that if we’re hurt and face failures we aren’t living right -- but he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

I could understand why those he’s attempted to minister to in an outreach program turn away from him. He means well. He does. But he’s missing something really important. Hope. Grace. Forgiveness. Because trying to understand the Bible without those things just isn’t possible.

The Pharisees were great believers in the Law. They knew the Scriptures. They were the leaders of the church. And then Jesus came along and shattered all their illusions of grandeur. Because it wasn’t about those things at all.

We have the privilege of reading the Bibles for ourselves. And it is a privilege because there are many, many people in the world who don’t have that choice. Jesus died to restore our relationship with God. The curtain is gone and we can go before His mighty throne and bow before Him. We can ask questions and get answers -- from God Almighty.

So don’t trust what everyone else tells you to believe. And don’t think that just because someone disagrees with you, that they’ve got it wrong. Read and learn. Pray and listen. God speaks. Let Him fill you up with Truth.