September 8, 2018

Who Gets Hurt?

You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe – as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.

– 1 Corinthians 3:3-6

People like to squabble, don’t we? We don’t care if it’s college football, political ideology or the type of music played during worship services. We’ll have an argument, not because we particularly care about the issue, but because we’re determined to be right.

Being in control makes us feel confident. Our opinions are always right. We don’t want to compromise. We don’t want to share the glory. It’s all about us anyway.

Oops. No. It’s not all about us. It’s not about us at all. It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about giving glory to God. We lose sight of that when we’re pushing ahead to get our own way.

One thing that I have witnessed again and again in different churches is the political maneuvering that goes on behind the scenes. We lobby fellow church members to have the carpet changed to the color we’ve chosen. We “bless someone’s heart” even as we tell others they don’t have good sense when it comes to decorating the Fellowship Hall.

We get so focused on what we want that we miss loving others. We’re so intent on being right that we forget it’s much more important to include others than to have our own way.

The women knew exactly how they wanted it to be done. It was to be done the way it had always been done. They’d been decorating tables for funeral meals, bridal showers and church fellowship for years. They were tired but they soldiered on. No one could do it like them.

Until another woman joined the church. She had plenty of experience with arranging flowers and centerpieces. She carried a bright smile and she was always willing to help. It might have worked out if she’d stayed silent and just gone along with those in charge. When she dared to do something different, they let her know with harsh words and bruising assessments. She cried. They didn’t seem to care.

Is anyone surprised that she’s no longer a member of the church? Does anyone even care that those same ladies with the biting tongues are now too old and frail to do the things they valued so much? They retained control, they hurt someone who didn’t deserve their hateful words, and all to control a task that was always temporary.

Where was Jesus in all of that? He wasn’t there at all. He wasn’t invited. He wouldn’t have fit in anyway. Jesus was all about welcoming everyone to the table. Those ladies were all about exclusion.

Sometimes I see people fussing about things that just don’t matter. They get so upset about worldly things, about power and control and pride. We really cling to our pride. We place it high above kindness and mercy and inclusion.

We are all only servants here with one purpose: to bring glory to God. We are to care for His people and do good where we can. And we’re to get along with each other, refusing to let Satan divide us with pettiness.

The next time you get ready to tear someone down for disagreeing with you, think about it before you fling those words out. They can’t ever be taken back. They harm others and, in so doing, they hurt Jesus. Is that what you really intended?

August 31, 2018

Words Reveal the Heart

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

– Luke 6:45

On the surface, she is a good person. She is a loving wife, mother and grandmother. She volunteers at church. She works hard at her job. She is a go-getter who gets things done.

Then there is the rest of the story. She is an arrogant bully who uses whatever means necessary – gossip, lies, political backstabbing – to get her own way. Even at church, where such things should never be in the equation, she is known as a bully. Ouch.

Do you know someone like her? Are you that person? Do you display an attitude if people don’t agree with your suggestions? Do you get angry and talk bitterly behind someone’s back when they choose something different? Are you a win-at-all-costs kind of person?

It’s as though we’ve developed a disconnect between living as Jesus and living to get what we want. In Jesus’ name, of course. We believe that it doesn’t matter how we reach our end goal. We justify our behavior as being okay because it’s for a worthy cause. It’s not okay.

I recently watched this woman turn to ice and struggle to even speak because she was so angry. The reason? Someone else decided to place a combination lock on a cabinet rather than the key lock she chose. What difference did it make? More people would have access to supplies without having to track down a key. It made sense. But it wasn’t her idea and she was furious.

When we find ourselves getting overly upset about small things, maybe it’s time to do a heart check. When we become furious because someone doesn’t do things exactly the way we think they should be done, maybe it’s time to rethink our motives. Pride comes immediately to mind. So do control issues.

Who’s in charge of your life? Who’s in charge of your heart? If the answer is anyone other than Jesus, then you’ve got a problem that impacts everyone around you. As Christians, we’re called to live for Jesus. Our words and our behavior should reflect that.

The hard truth is that we’re not always going to get our own way. And that’s okay. The hard truth is that not every idea we have is going to be well received by others. And that’s okay. The hard truth is that not everyone is always going to like how we do things. And that’s okay.

Life has taught me to let go of the small things that don’t really matter in the end. I’ve learned to let things roll off my shoulders when they don’t make a difference to Jesus. Consequently, I’ve grown stronger in standing up for things that really do matter. I’ve become someone who won’t back down when it comes to Biblical truths and decency.

We’re on the same team, you and I. We’re Christians trying to live as Jesus’ light in a dark and trying world. It’s when we lose sight of that, when we try to make it about us, that we end up spewing out anger and bitterness that have no place in God’s Kingdom.

So, the next time you get ready to have an attitude with someone else, look in the mirror first. You might find that the real problem lies in your heart.

August 18, 2018

Do You Make Mistakes

But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

– 2 Corinthians 10:17-18

When was the last time you made a mistake? When was the last time you admitted you made a mistake? We make mistakes all the time. We’re human, after all. But admitting we’re the one at fault isn’t so easy.

I was at a meeting with a sweet friend. Before the meeting ended, the group scheduled the time, date and place of the next meeting. Somehow, she missed it. When it came time for the next meeting, she was furious. The meeting was set for a time and day when she couldn’t attend. She was convinced it was intentional.

She refused to acknowledge that she’d been present when the new meeting was set. She refused to admit that maybe she’d messed up. She was too busy making excuses to see that maybe she’d made a mistake.

I couldn’t understand the big deal. We all do it. We zone out and miss something important. We make a mistake. We deal with the consequences. There was nothing life shattering about it. Just admit it and go on. She’s still pointing fingers.

What is it about us that makes us refuse to admit to our very real humanness? Why do we expect perfection from ourselves and then try to hide it when we fail? And we always fail. Always. Jesus was the only perfect One who ever walked this earth.

We also expect perfection from others. We have no sympathy for someone who fails to meet our standards. We don’t extend grace and mercy. Our words are harsh, unforgiving, mean.

We tell ourselves it’s about standards. It’s really about pride. Our pride. It’s all about us. And we can’t stand to be wrong, questioned, or embarrassed.

We also don’t want to admit when anything bad happens. We’re embarrassed. We don’t want anyone else to know we’re having financial trouble, going through a divorce, have a child involved with drugs. We’d much rather pretend that everything is all right, that we’re living that perfect, American-dream life, than to admit we’re struggling.

Pride is a dangerous thing that keeps us from the very ones who can hold us up when life tears us down. Pride wraps us in pretense, in illusion, in a glass bubble that is destined to shatter. And for what reason? So we can boast about being who we aren’t?

Our identity, our worth, comes from Christ. It’s not about us. Really. It’s not. We’re going to make mistakes. Bad things are going to happen. Hurtful things are going to shake us to our core. But we can put all that in proper perspective when we realize we are not our mistakes or our successes. Our value comes because we are children of God Almighty. When we finally, truly, realize that, it shifts things around and puts them in their proper place.

God knows we aren’t perfect. He knows we’re going to mess up. He knows we’re going to fail. He knows others are going to hurt and betray us. And He understands that we are like small children, hiding rather than admitting we’ve done something wrong.

Grace, mercy and forgiveness come when we fall at the foot of the cross. We don’t have to hang on to our mistakes or to hide them. We can confess and watch the blood of Christ turn us whiter than snow. We can let go of pride-fueled perfection and admit we need a Savior. We can be forgiven and move on.

August 10, 2018

Who Do You Serve?

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

– Mark 9:35

James and John wanted to be next to Jesus in places of honor and glory. They wanted to be held in high esteem by others.  They wanted to be above the pack.

They didn’t understand what was to come, of course. Do we ever? We’re so focused on ourselves that we can’t see the bigger picture. We can’t see Jesus. The only image before us is the image of ourselves.

A dear man heads up a committee. He’s proud of it. He’s been the chairman for several years. He’s even in charge of the same committee on a multi-church level.

This man loves to serve. He cooks food for an outreach ministry. He shares Jesus at other venues. He’s such a good, giving man – so long as you do everything exactly to his specifications and his timetable. He’s so controlling that he has almost single-handedly destroyed the very ministry he leads.

Two women devote hours to their church committee. Please note the use of the word “their” committee. They have worked hard to make sure the committee only includes people who agree with everything they “suggest.” They aren’t looking for other ideas. They simply want people who will step up and do their bidding however they choose things be done. I’m sure you can imagine the grumbling from others. They don’t care. They’re so busy being in charge that they don’t realize they’re on the cusp of standing alone.

Welcome to church politics. I have watched two or three people generate enough divisiveness to “run” off a good preacher. I have witnessed churches split apart over how to spend money. I have seen churches die because they refused to welcome any new members into their midst.

There’s something about power and prestige that makes us forget that we don’t always have the answers. There’s something about being in charge that makes us forget that other people sometimes have more wisdom than we do. And there’s something about control that makes us forget that God reigns, not us.

Satan knows just what buttons to push to turn otherwise good Christians against each other. He knows exactly who to target to create chaos rather than growth and renewal. We’re engaged in spiritual warfare, whether we acknowledge it or not.

The only way to battle Satan is through the armor of God. Jesus won the war but Satan is after anyone who desires to serve Christ. He knows that the very best way to accomplish his goals is to turn God’s people against one another. Don’t let him.

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about bringing God glory and honoring Him in all we say and do. Check your egos at the door. Leave pride outside in the trash. Be the least so you can bring honor to God our Father and Creator.

Do you want to be first? Then live your life being last.

August 8, 2018

Cast Pride Aside

"How you plot and scheme to win your lovers. Even an experienced prostitute could learn from you!" – Jeremiah 2:33

I call it growing pains. Our ministry group has expanded to include more events and, thus, more people involved in the various projects and classes. The hiccups are driving me nuts.

I recognize it as Satan trying to derail our plans to draw more people toward Jesus. I understand that. Unfortunately, not everyone else does. The egos and claws have emerged and they’ve got nothing to do with bringing glory to God.

Have you experienced this? Anyone active in church probably has. I doubt there’s any place more focused on politics, power and squabbles than a church. Pride has destroyed so many churches, so many wonderful endeavors. It doesn’t need to be that way.

I love this passage from Jeremiah. God is telling His people how they have betrayed Him. His people are telling God they aren’t guilty. Of course, they were. So are we.

When we set out to organize an event at church, it’s not about the individuals organizing it. It’s not about bringing glory and accolades to the church. It’s about God. It’s about bringing Him glory. It’s about shining a light that draws others toward Him. When we lose sight of that, it becomes about us and our egos. Things quickly deteriorate from there.

I’m not into micro-managing people who are volunteering for a specific project. I’m not into trying to control everything and everyone. I also detest drama. We’ve built an incredible team of capable individuals. We work together, each doing her own job, communicating and sharing ideas with an easy comradery.

Others coming in aren’t doing so well with that. And I’m not doing so well with the backbiting power plays. It’s just not okay. It’s out of place in service to God. Actually, it’s out of place anywhere.

We are not a group where cliques will exist. I am not alone in that view. Everyone is welcome. Everyone is equally important. Everyone’s ideas are considered. Like I said earlier, we’re a team.

Maybe I’m just really sensitive on this issue. I’ve watched churches torn apart because a few individuals needed to control everything. It became about their pride. It was never about God. Jesus wasn’t invited to the table. And nobody listened to the Holy Spirit.

I spend a great many hours each week in service to God. I am not in service to the church, to any individuals or to a particular committee. Everything I do is to bring glory to Him. Do I fail Him sometimes? Absolutely. And I count on other team members to work with me to keep us all focused on the only One who matters.

I don’t know your situation. I hope you are volunteering and serving God wherever you are. And I hope you stand strong and refuse to allow yourself to be pulled in to unnecessary political drama. When Satan tries to tear people apart, refuse to be a part of it. Pray without ceasing and stand firm in His strength. Pride has no place in the kingdom of God.

June 25, 2018

We’re Destroying Ourselves

As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain.

– 2 Corinthians 6:1

When was the last time you denied yourself for your faith? That was the question our pastor asked us yesterday. It certainly gave us all something to ponder.

You might think his sermon was on stuff. We all like our stuff. But it wasn’t about things. It was about pride. It was about assuming that anyone who doesn’t agree with your opinions must be from the devil. Ouch.

We Christians are destroying ourselves from within. He didn’t say that. I did. What he did say is that the church in Corinth eventually died because it couldn’t get over itself. Is that what will happen to us if we don’t learn to get along with one another?

It’s not about God. You can tell yourself that it is repeatedly but the arguments you have with other Christians have nothing to do with Him. Those arguments are about pride and power and the politics of religion. It’s why we have a society that believes only Republicans are Christians and that Democrats must be from the devil. It’s why we believe that citizenship on this earth is more important than citizenship in heaven.

We get caught up in our opinions and label them from Jesus. Our pride tells us we’ve got it right and everyone else must surely be wrong. We gather a group who agrees with us and suddenly we’re fighting for our own political agenda in the name of Jesus. Unfortunately, others are doing the same thing.

We are all the body of Christ. As our pastor noted, we should have great confidence in our ability to handle anything we face as the body of Christ. But we can’t get past ourselves to even invite Jesus into the discussion.

Society tells us that pride is a good thing. The Bible tells us something else entirely. Which do you believe? Pride is not the same thing as confidence. Pride isn’t the same thing as self-esteem. Don’t be fooled by the unchecked agendas of groups who claim to be from Jesus.

The Gospel isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s hard and it hurts and we suffer for its truth. We want to pick and choose the parts we’ll follow. We aren’t willing to surrender everything to the One who died for us. We aren’t willing to offer grace and mercy to those who disagree with us. And we aren’t willing to back away from our opinions so that we can be unified with fellow Christians.

Change happens all around us. Do we build walls or do we adapt? This isn’t an argument over basic theology. It’s instead an opportunity to see what matters. Jesus came to save us, died on a cross and rose three days later, defeating death and assuring eternal life for all who believe in Him. Do we even see that anymore?

Some of the biggest haters I know are people masquerading as devout Christians. They seem to forget that God is love. They’re so caught up in their own agendas that they’re missing the point. They don’t want reconciliation. They don’t want to get along with people with differing viewpoints.

We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. – 2 Corinthians 6:12

Love people. It doesn’t matter if they agree with you or you agree with them. Show kindness and mercy. Extend grace. Political agendas have no place in the body of Christ. Kick your pride out the door and open your ears to the voices of those around you. Extend the hand of Jesus out into the world. That’s what really matters.

June 12, 2018

Keep Your Guard Up

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fail!"

– 1 Corinthians 10:12

It’s easy to get cocky, isn’t it? We know we’re good at something. We feel confident we can do it. We believe that we won’t ever mess up, that nothing will ever go wrong, that we won’t make the mistakes others have made.

Until we do. Then all the world is looking at us, remembering all the hateful and mean putdowns we made when they were the ones making mistakes. We thought we were stronger that everyone else. We thought we were smarter than everyone else.

We weren’t. In this verse, Jesus is talking about temptation. In this passage, He tells us not to let our guard down. Jesus also tells us that God always provides a way out.

Jesus knew a thing or two about temptation. Remember when He went into the wilderness and the devil tempted Him? He also frequently faced traps the Pharisees set for Him. They wanted to trick Jesus but it never worked.

We aren’t always so wise. We walk into a trap, oblivious for what awaits us. We think it will be different for us. It never is.

It’s not always about something major. It’s really the little things. We probably aren’t going to go out and rob a bank. We understand that is stealing and it’s wrong. But how about padding your expense account? That’s stealing too but “everyone” does it so we tell ourselves it’s okay.

We also think the cut-throat co-worker won’t come after us. We know their techniques. We’re too smart to fall for the trap. Until we do.

It’s worse when the person is a friend or family member. We didn’t see it coming. We weren’t watching closely. We never thought they would do what they so clearly did and we let our guard down. We pay a heavy price for that.

A few months ago I sold some cows. That’s not unusual in my world. But this time I was selling a cow that I’d been told was wild and would turn on me. She’d never been aggressive toward me at all. I questioned the men who told me this closely. They were adamant that I needed to sell her before she hurt me.

Because I respected the men who told me to sell her, I did. When it was time to load her on a trailer, she tried to kill me and the three cowboys who were loading her. It was a really scary situation. When the cowboys told me to step back and let them handle it, I didn’t need them to tell me twice. I will never be the same.

I am thankful for the two men who warned me about her. And I am thankful that God provided me with the wisdom to follow their advice even when it made no sense to me. Life is like that sometimes. We don’t understand why God doesn’t want us to do something or why He leads us in a direction we never planned to travel. Will we be obedient to a God who truly knows what is best for us or will we be too stubborn to head His warning?

This journey is fraught with dangerous potholes. We can pay attention and heed the warning signs or we can charge ahead, overly confident of our abilities. God gives us the choice. Choose wisely.

March 30, 2018

False Flattery Leads to Ruin

Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet.

– Proverbs 29:5

“I’m a good-looking man,” he told me. “I’m quite the catch.”

There was no way to hide the shock from my face. I wasn’t sure what well-meaning person had given him this information but they had done him no favors. They had fueled his arrogance, leaving him vulnerable to predators he couldn’t possibly see.

He had buried his wife, the love of his life. They had both suffered through her horrible illness. It had been only a few months but he was ready to move on. Rather than choose someone nearer to his age, someone who would be a companion through his late years, he set his mind on someone young enough to be his daughter. His heart craved a woman who was filled with activity, a job and kids and volunteer work, rather than someone retired with plenty of the time he expected to share.

I choose to believe that the person who told him this had good intentions. It might have come from someone trying to help him fill his days. He drives those he loves crazy with his need to be involved in everything they do. He is lost yet refuses to devote himself to volunteer work or another job. He doesn’t want to commit to anything, just in case he gets invited to spend time with his family.

It’s just sad. Now it’s sadder. They have created a situation they never expected and maybe don’t even see.

I have no idea how it will all play out. I’ve lived long enough to watch friends make good decisions and bad. One man married again, seeking a young and vibrant mate. The union lasted a few years. He is bitter and vows never to marry again. She took advantage of him and his pocketbook. He needed someone like his first wife, a woman who loved Jesus and sought to spread good wherever she went. He got a party girl who looked good on his arm and told him exactly what he wanted to hear.

Another friend was a bit wiser. Yes, he found a woman quite younger but he wanted that for a different reason. He wanted someone who would look after him. He understood his children wouldn’t sacrifice their lives to care for him when the time comes and he needs a caregiver. In turn, he has provided her with a home and health benefits, security the low-paying job she still works will never give her. They seem happy, content even, with each benefiting from the other’s presence. It is not a love match, but maybe it doesn’t need to be.

I hope this man finds the same. He is a good man. But vanity can cause the very best people to make absolutely the worst choices. They get caught up in who they think they are, letting pride cloud their eyes with falsehood masquerading as truth.

God certainly doesn’t want us walking around in defeat. He also doesn’t expect us to walk around with puffed up opinions of who we are and what we deserve. It can only lead to disaster, laying a net of disaster for its unsuspecting victim.

March 3, 2018

Is Jesus Your Lord Or Your Advisor?

And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

– Mark 8:31-33

Pride. It’ll get the best of us when we aren’t even thinking about it. Can you imagine the nerve of Peter reprimanding Jesus? Oh, my! We would never do that.

Except we do it all the time.

Jesus is our Lord and Savior but how often do we place Him in the role of consultant or advisor? How many times have we “claimed” His blessing for something we wanted, all the while ignoring His teaching?

Those were some of the questions our pastor asked recently. “We can not expect to knock Jesus off His throne and still expect Him to bless us,” the Rev. Ryan Martin said. Except we do.

Martin denounced what he called the “prosperity theology” that is growing in popularity. We want something, we claim it by “faith” and demand that Jesus give it to us. That’s not biblical but it sure does draw in the crowds.

As Martin said this, I immediately thought of a man who does this regularly. He is quick to quote the Bible and offers up beautiful prayers. People look up to him as a true man of God. At least the people who don’t know him well look up to him. His life doesn’t reflect the gospel his words proclaim but it sounds good and some think highly of him because of it.

When was the last time you truly placed Jesus on His throne and worshipped Him alone? When was the last time you acknowledged Jesus as your Lord and Savior and followed Him to those scary places faith sometimes takes us?

Pride demands that we get our own way. Pride tells us it’s okay to hit our spouse, to threaten schools, to get our own way. Pride is a coward masquerading as someone who is in control and worthy of being held in high esteem.

When was the last time you let something you wanted go so you could give your tithe to the church, Martin asked. When was the last time you set aside your dreams, your plans, to follow Jesus where He asked you to go?

“You prove your faith by how you serve, what you give up, what you deny, and by what you give,” Martin said.

Faith appears awesome when it allows us to live the life pride tells us we deserve. True faith places Jesus above us all and us in the place of follower. Is Jesus your Lord or your advisor? Your actions answer for you.

February 5, 2018

Reach Across the Aisle

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. – Romans 12:16 (NIV)

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all. – Romans 12:16 (NLT)

Oh, my. I just had to share two translations of this wonderful verse. Chances are you’ve all been in a position before where you were excluded because of your station in life or you didn’t want to associate with someone because of theirs.

I was never the popular kid in school. How about you? I had my own set of friends and we were not part of the “it” group. That was okay then. It’s more than okay now. I just wasn’t interested in being like everyone else.

Of course, I had my moments. I wanted one of “those” shirts with the correct label. I laugh at myself now. It was a nice shirt but status and labels just don’t matter. They’re just surface frivolity.

The really sad thing is when we see it in our churches. We gossip about the kids, and sometimes adults, who don’t wear a “new” outfit on Easter Sunday. We look down on the parents who don’t host pool parties or expensive birthday parties for their kids. And, my goodness, can’t we be critical of clothing and manners and performance of those who attend our worship services?

 All in the name of Jesus, of course.

One woman was obsessed with perfection. She was always beautifully dressed. She used china and crystal when she hosted the neighborhood card parties. She was really particular about who she invited. Maybe she thought all that would make her happy. It didn’t. She lost her mind. How sad.

Others believe they should only socialize with people who are “like” them. They want to surround themselves with the same economic class, the same ethnicity, the same denomination. They create an insulated world that helps them hate what they don’t understand.

Several years ago our pastor urged us to sit somewhere different on Sunday morning. He helped by having all the seats in our contemporary service rearranged. It was certainly uncomfortable. It was also eye opening. When we left our comfort zone, we were more open to others. We laughed with people we’d never met. We shared conversations with people who were way different.

Maybe that’s why we’re so hateful and angry these days. We have no tolerance for differences. We insist that we are right all the time in all things. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to reach across the aisle and genuinely greet someone who is different in temperament, color, religious traditions and political views.

We don’t have to always agree in order to live in harmony with one another. No one is better than another. And none of us know everything. We need to get over ourselves and learn to live with our differences. We’ll all be happier for having done so.

March 15, 2016

Pride Makes Us Blind

If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.

-- Galatians 6:3

Many years ago a co-worker spent his mornings sipping coffee and pondering his wife’s unhappiness. He considered PMS. He considered her job. He considered everything but himself.

One day he came in with what could only be described as a shell-shocked look on his wife. He refused to talk. It eventually came out. His wife wanted a divorce.

He was a good man. Really. What he wanted most in life was to care for and provide for his wife and child. What he never considered was what she might want. He assumed he knew what she wanted. Even when she grew increasingly unhappy, he assumed he could figure it out and fix it. Fix her.

That should have been a tip off. It wasn’t. Whenever we feel the need to fix someone else, we should start looking in the mirror and seeing where we need to fix ourselves. Because it is pride looking down on someone else.

I remembered this recently when I witnessed yet another situation. Someone trying to fix someone else. You can’t. Only God can. And who says that we know best? We do. And who are we to judge? It’s not my job and it’s not your job.

Let me ask you another question: When something goes wrong, who do you blame? Yourself of the other person? How many people squabble over insignificant things just so they can be right? Who cares?! It’s pride, plain and simple.

Whatever happened to considering the other person first? What ever became of compromise and trying to look at things from the other person’s perspective? We don’t do that anymore. We’re too self-focused. We’re too filled with pride in ourselves to think about anyone else -- even when we really love them. Because we love ourselves more.

That dear man eventually recovered. So do we. But do we ever learn?

A man’s pride will bring him low,
But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

-- Proverbs 29:23

Every time.

February 16, 2016

Arrogant Pride Wrongly Judges

16 There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.

-- Proverbs 6:16-19

In the aftermath of trouble, there are always going to be people who criticize what was or wasn’t done. Surely her sons could have done something sooner? Why in the world won’t one of her five children take her into their home? How can that mother not manage her own children? Why won’t she lose weight or get a better job?

It’s always somebody else’s fault and the person complaining could surely have figured out a better way.

Our pastor began a sermon serious today on this passage of Scripture. He focused on “haughty eyes,” that arrogant pride that makes us believe we know better than anyone else.

It is ever so easy to judge from the outside, without knowing the facts. And, honestly, if you weren’t there, if you weren’t privy to the inside conversations and the heart wrenching decisions, then you don’t get to judge. But we do. Again and again we do.

Pastor Danny noted that folks can always find a better way to run the service, whether it’s music, sound or lighting. We have that critical spirit inside of us that lets us think it’s okay to comment (even to ourselves) about someone’s weight, dress, or hair style. It isn’t okay. It isn’t funny. And it certainly doesn’t make us into better people. Just the opposite, in fact.

Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall. -- Proverbs 16:18

When we are haughty, we are filled with pride and arrogance. We think we know best and really we don’t have a clue. Sooner or later the truth always wins out and we are headed for a fall.

When we are willing to walk in someone else’s shoes, then we have a voice. But until we put those shoes on, we need to keep our opinions to ourselves and support those who are in the trenches doing what needs to be done.

　

March 26, 2015

Family Is To Give And Receive

 

Pride goes before destruction,

a haughty spirit before a fall.

-- Proverbs 16:18

How much pride do you have? We think of pride in a job well done. We consider those who are haughty with pride because of their family name or money. We remember those who have pride in their children, their business, their homes and other possessions.

But what about when our pride, our determination to do it alone, keeps others from helping us when we really need the help? It is so much easier to give than receive. We know that. But there is a season for both.

A sweet family I know is dealing with an unexpected death and funeral expenses they weren't prepared to pay. This follows a six week illness and travel to and from a hospital three hours away. The bills have mounted even as they've had to miss work again and again. They need help but are reluctant to accept it.

They have asked for contributions toward the funeral rather than flowers. They are selling personal items. And they are refusing help from their church. Pride is such an awful thing sometimes.

We are helping anyway, those of us who care. We were horrified that they were going to provide their own food for after the service. Nope. Not at our church. We do that for our church family. They are grateful and amazed. How can they not know how much we care?

And we are giving them money, little bits at a time. They need it and we will contribute what we can in such a way that they can't say no.

Here's the thing about our church family: Everyone needs sometimes and everyone gives sometimes. That means that right now is their turn to receive. Later on, they'll have the opportunity to take food or give money or whatever someone else needs. It's just how family works.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Boast Only In God

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. -- Proverbs 16:18

Most of us have heard this at one time or another. We might not have realized it came from Solomon but it’s familiar just the same. Maybe you’ve even muttered it to yourself as you watched someone thinking more of themselves than you did. Oh, come on. Sure you have.

Nobody likes to see someone being so full of themselves that they appear to believe they’re better than anybody else. It’s that arrogance that really grates. We struggle against it speaking out. We know we’re just as wrong to condemn as they are to think too much of themselves.

But what about that pride that comes from being good at something? I know a man who has always been really good with travel directions. He could go someplace one time and years later still find it. And he never missed an opportunity to let everyone know. He also never missed a chance to laugh at someone else’s inability to do the same thing.

Small strokes have now taken bits of his mind. He can’t remember where he’s been, much less how to get there. Oh, he fakes it pretty well when he’s in an area he travels regularly. But others are noticing even as he’s denying. What he once bragged about is now gone but his pride remains strong. He’d rather get lost than admit he doesn’t know things he once knew.

Several years ago a woman I know moved her elderly father into her home. Her mother had died and her father was having a tough time. She cared for him as best she could but she couldn’t bring herself to help with baths and such. He was her father after all.

She asked her husband for assistance but he refused. He would stay with his wife’s father sometimes. He would cook for him. But he wouldn’t help with those unpleasant toiletry tasks. The elderly man died a few weeks after his wife. Two years later his son-in-law was ravaged by a brain tumor. Before he died he understood how it felt to need help bathing and to be forced to wear diapers.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental. I know what it’s like to think you’re in control of your world and living a great life. And I know what it’s like to face illness and the loss of everything you thought kept you secure. I understand that nothing is permanent and we are all dependent on God for everything. We have no reason to boast of anything beyond what He has done for us.

It’s sad to see people deteriorate. We all do it, if we live long enough. The key is to admit when our skills aren’t what they were. We should show kindness and compassion for those who aren’t as capable in some areas as we are. And we should realize that all our abilities could end in a second.

God’s grace will see us through to the end if we’ll just get past our pride and admit that we need it to carry us home.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Politicians Should Be Guided By Jesus

Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. -- Proverbs 11:2

Sometimes the fighting and bickering in Washington makes me want to give up thinking that our elected officials will ever be able to put the country’s needs before partisan politics. Of course, they would argue that their partisan politics is merely a fight for what’s best for the country. And so the circus goes.

Each side -- and there are way more than two -- has people who truly believe they’re totally right and everyone else is totally wrong. Of course, it doesn’t work that way. Nobody is all right or all wrong. That’s why they need to compromise.

One of the most bothersome things about this entire spectacle is that so many of those involved claim to be Christians. You know. Those people who believe in Jesus. The One who told us to love everyone, including our enemies. I would think He probably also meant political rivals and people in that other political party.

Adam Hamilton addressed this issue in his book, Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White. He wrote, “Part of the polarization we are experiencing in our country today is a result of pastors and church leaders who have abandoned the teachings of Jesus an the apostles regarding the way we speak of those with whom we disagree. Part of the healing of our nation must come from the church modeling for our society how we are to love those with whom we disagree. Right now we’re modeling for society how we destroy with our words and actions those we disagree with.”

Does that convict anyone? It should. Politicians sometimes seek to polarize groups, pitting themselves as the “good” guys against all others. It doesn’t serve any purpose beyond pride and self-advancement. And that has nothing to do with Jesus.

Hamilton gives four ways to avoid speaking ill of each other: avoid judging others, search your own heart, look for the good in other people and be humble. Sounds like something that came out of the Bible.

Imagine a political world where everyone refrained from judging those who disagreed with them, where all politicians searched their own hearts for motives, where all people looked for the good in others and where everyone did away with their pride and humbled themselves, realizing how insignificant we all are in comparison to the awesome God we serve.

Wow. Washington could actually start solving issues rather than making things worse with all the drama.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Credit Belongs To God

No, O people, the LORD has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. -- Micah 6:8

The discussion was pointed as we explored the difference between doing good in secret and announcing your good deeds publicly. Can a person ever truly do good without anyone else knowing? And should they? What is wrong with taking credit for the good you’ve done?

A man who does good things got quite upset. There’s nothing wrong with being prideful when you do good things, he said. I let it go. I understood where he was coming from. I did. He was wrong. The use of the word “prideful” said it all. But God doesn’t need me to tell him that. I know that at some point in time, God will let him know.

The dictionary defines pride as a feeling or satisfaction in one’s actions or possessions. The Bible defines pride as sin. The problem with pride is that it tends to negate God’s power and provisions, as the prideful person takes credit that doesn’t belong to them.

Think about it. You’re able to make a generous financial contribution to a homeless shelter. You want credit because you didn’t have to give your hard-earned money to anyone. But you’re forgetting that you had the ability to make that donation because God provided for you financially. Lots of people work just as hard as you do and don’t have that kind of money. Giving credit to God simply means you recognize that God provided you with the resources and gave you the heart to give.

We should feel good about ourselves when we’re walking in the path God set out for us. But we should also recognize that all we have comes from God. Everything. It is our responsibility as Christians to use all we have, everything He’s given us, for His glory. His glory. Not our own. His. That path has no room for pride in self, no matter how good the intentions or the deed.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Give God The Glory

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." -- James 4:10

This is one of the hardest things a Christian has to do. We humans like to think highly of ourselves. We like to be first. We want to be in charge. And we want our wishes to be considered in all things. The problem is all those things don't fit with who and what we really are -- God's children, created for His Glory.

Pride really has no place in our lives. Everyone knows someone who takes full credit for his job, house, health, etc. Oh, no doubt, he's a Christian. Just one who thinks very highly of himself. He's too busy glorifying himself to even think about glorifying God. That is a recipe for disaster.

It doesn't have to be that way. God doesn't want us to think badly of ourselves. He doesn't want us to stumble into darkness because our noses are too high in the air. He just wants us to recognize that all we have -- from our families to our homes to our latest promotion at work -- comes from Him. We succeed because of Him. We can't do anything on our own. Nothing. Oh, Satan may lead us to believe we can but sooner or later pride leads to a horrific crash landing. That's where God is waiting to pick us up -- if we humble ourselves before Him and ask for His help.

Pride leads us to believe Satan's lies and leads us to destruction. Humility leads us to praise God in all things and to seek His will at all times. Pride deceives us into thinking we're in charge and we're doing just fine on our own. Humility reminds us that we don't control anything and that we can't survive without God's help.


Being humble means acknowledging that God is, well, God. He's in charge. He's perfect. He created us. We'll never be worthy of all He's done and continues to do for us. But, guess what? He loves us anyway. He blesses us anyway. And all we have to do is humble ourselves before Him and love Him with all our hearts.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Give God Credit

"Because you said, 'The Nile is mine; I made it,' therefore I am against you and against your streams, and I will make the land of Egypt a ruin and a desolate waste from Migdol to Aswan, as far as the border of Cush." - Ezekiel 29:9b-10

God hates pride. He's told us again and again. We're not to give ourselves credit for what He does. Egypt didn't listen. They were proud of The Nile and took credit for it. So God destroyed Egypt. That's just how it goes.

God created The Nile. He is the giver of all good things. He just is. Everyone knows it. So why do people want to take credit for what He does? I just don't understand it. We want to take credit for the good stuff and blame God for the bad stuff. That's just foolish.

No one is successful without God's blessing. I don't care how hard you work or who you know or how lucky you think you are. You are successful when God gives you opportunities and resources and, then, you do what He leads you to do. Are people who aren't Christians successful? Of course they are. But only when God allows it. Remember that sometimes God uses people who aren't Christians in order to further His plan. God is in control of all things at all times.

Sometimes people think God handles the big stuff but leaves the little stuff to us. Only if we're intent on self-destruction. God is in the details. Just ask Him. I'm thankful He provided a good parking spot today. I'm thankful for the coffee this morning. I'm thankful for the craft show and that I had money to spend. I'm thankful for safe travel and a good lunch. I could go on and on. God provides. He takes care of me day by day. It took me a long time to learn that.

Think that's little stuff? A man who lives just down the road went shopping with his wife one day. It was something they'd done numerous times. He pulled out in front of someone and his wife died on impact. Just a quick trip they'd taken numerous times over the years. No need for God to get involved. They had it handled. Except they didn't.

We don't ever have everything handled. We can't control our own actions much less those of people around us. Things happen unexpectantly. We need God in the little things as well as the big things because sometimes those little things become big things in an instant.

It's so easy to want credit when we have success or when someone we love has success. We are filled with pride and want to tell everyone. Sure, we should feel good when our lives are going great. But don't ever forget to give God credit for all the good that comes your way. Don't be like Egypt. Don't boast of all you own and all you've done. Every blessing comes from God. Thank Him when He blesses you and give Him all the credit and glory.