June 12, 2018

Keep Your Guard Up

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fail!"

– 1 Corinthians 10:12

It’s easy to get cocky, isn’t it? We know we’re good at something. We feel confident we can do it. We believe that we won’t ever mess up, that nothing will ever go wrong, that we won’t make the mistakes others have made.

Until we do. Then all the world is looking at us, remembering all the hateful and mean putdowns we made when they were the ones making mistakes. We thought we were stronger that everyone else. We thought we were smarter than everyone else.

We weren’t. In this verse, Jesus is talking about temptation. In this passage, He tells us not to let our guard down. Jesus also tells us that God always provides a way out.

Jesus knew a thing or two about temptation. Remember when He went into the wilderness and the devil tempted Him? He also frequently faced traps the Pharisees set for Him. They wanted to trick Jesus but it never worked.

We aren’t always so wise. We walk into a trap, oblivious for what awaits us. We think it will be different for us. It never is.

It’s not always about something major. It’s really the little things. We probably aren’t going to go out and rob a bank. We understand that is stealing and it’s wrong. But how about padding your expense account? That’s stealing too but “everyone” does it so we tell ourselves it’s okay.

We also think the cut-throat co-worker won’t come after us. We know their techniques. We’re too smart to fall for the trap. Until we do.

It’s worse when the person is a friend or family member. We didn’t see it coming. We weren’t watching closely. We never thought they would do what they so clearly did and we let our guard down. We pay a heavy price for that.

A few months ago I sold some cows. That’s not unusual in my world. But this time I was selling a cow that I’d been told was wild and would turn on me. She’d never been aggressive toward me at all. I questioned the men who told me this closely. They were adamant that I needed to sell her before she hurt me.

Because I respected the men who told me to sell her, I did. When it was time to load her on a trailer, she tried to kill me and the three cowboys who were loading her. It was a really scary situation. When the cowboys told me to step back and let them handle it, I didn’t need them to tell me twice. I will never be the same.

I am thankful for the two men who warned me about her. And I am thankful that God provided me with the wisdom to follow their advice even when it made no sense to me. Life is like that sometimes. We don’t understand why God doesn’t want us to do something or why He leads us in a direction we never planned to travel. Will we be obedient to a God who truly knows what is best for us or will we be too stubborn to head His warning?

This journey is fraught with dangerous potholes. We can pay attention and heed the warning signs or we can charge ahead, overly confident of our abilities. God gives us the choice. Choose wisely.

April 2, 2018

Who Do You Turn To?

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. – Psalm 46:1

When something bad happens, who is the first one you turn to? When your world is shattered, who is the one who helps you pick up the pieces?

Friends and family can be wonderful in bad and uncertain times. But no one is better at handling trouble than God. He alone is equipped to guide us and rescue us from the evil that can sometimes surround us.

We have to ask for His help. Unlike many people in our lives, God doesn’t generally insert Himself into our troubles without an invitation. Instead, He waits patiently until we reach the point when we need Him so desperately that we cry out in pain and frustration. Then He’s right there.

Bad times generally turn people completely toward God or completely away from Him. We may pretend otherwise but our hearts tell a different story. There’s been many a person who went through the motions of church while harboring a deep anger at God for what He did or didn’t do for them or their loved one.

A dear friend became a widower long before he expected. In fact, he’d always believed he’d be the first to go home. He was years older than his wife. She was in good health and getting closer to retirement. They had plans for travel and spoiling the grandchildren and just growing old together.

ALS is an awful disease, robbing the body of its function while allowing the mind to see and know everything. His grief surrounds him even as he pushes forward. He has joined a new church, the one his son and grandchildren have long attended. He is a volunteer and attends almost every function at the church. He is learning and growing in Christ in a way he never expected. There’s nothing quite like death to make you realize skating through life with a lightweight faith just doesn’t work anymore.

Another friend has turned away from God. His splintered family has ripped his heart apart. Only God could possibly untangle the lies and change the circumstances of his situation. But God allowed it to happen and he is just too angry to cry out for help.

He has pulled away from church and faith. He numbs his sorrow drinking in clubs and filling his off hours with friends who do the same. His wife prays for him, for revival in his hardened heart. Will he ever turn back to the shallow faith he once claimed? Will he ever reach out to the only One who can heal and restore?

Life is full of hardship, of brokenness and lies. People we trusted will betray us in the worst ways. Illness comes even when you do everything right. Jobs are lost. Accidents happen. Life can sometimes be so hard.

God has all the answers. No. He won’t stop the bad from happening. This is a fallen world after all. But He does promise to be our refuge, our strength, our guiding light when trouble comes. We can count on His love when everyone around us seems distant and untrustworthy.

Which path do you choose? Do you choose to draw closer to God when trouble hits or do you choose to pull away?

March 22, 2018

Everyone Needs A Wise Friend

The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools. – Proverbs 15:7

Who do you seek out when you need advice? Where do you turn when the path seems unclear and you don’t know which step to take?

The first place to turn is to God. Prayers for wisdom and discernment, strength and perseverance, make all the difference. We should always turn to God first when we need guidance.

But God also blesses us with the people He places before us. Some people just have the gift for giving good advice. I hope you have someone like that in your life.

A sweet friend who left this earth way too early for those of us who loved her always gave the best advice. It wasn’t just to me. Ask anyone who knew her. She was just so wise when it came to offering insights into the struggles someone else was facing.

Why? I pondered that after she was gone. I think the answer lies in her ability to see others in their light rather than in her own. She didn’t give advice based on what might be good for her in those circumstances. She based her advice on the person seeking guidance and that made all the difference.

So often we don’t really hear the people right before us. We listen to respond, as the experts say, rather than listening to understand. We’re quick to tell others what to do based on our wishes and desires rather than what is truly best for them.

Not too long ago a friend began pushing me to change internet providers. My speed was way too slow, she informed me. She was just so determined. I resisted. I had a bad feeling about it. Sure enough, the “new” company with the special offers has had outages time and time again. People are furious with its service. My service is dependable. I’m so thankful I listened to the Spirit inside of me rather than the friend telling me what to do.

Sometimes we also have a hidden agenda. We don’t always recognize it. We truly believe what we want for others is best for them. Maybe it is. Or maybe we want the benefits we can get if they do things our way.

In the area of women’s ministry, I’ve always got someone who wants a certain Bible study or a certain day or time for an event. They don’t want to do anything. Nor do they generally want to accommodate anyone else’s schedule or interests. They’re just quick to know what is best and expect others to come along to their way of thinking.

I’ve learned to consider all points of view and to spend a lot of time in prayer. A sweet friend tells me I always seem to choose just the right study, just when she needs it. I’m flattered by the compliment but I’m also quick to give credit where it belongs. God leads me. God knows the way and what is best. My job is just to get out of the way and follow where He’s leading. When the study matches her needs, it’s because God was directing the path and not me.

It’s the same with giving advice to others. We shouldn’t be so quick to tell others what is best for them. It’s important to really listen to what they’re saying. It’s good to ask questions and cause them to think about their choices and to take an honest assessment of the good and bad. Rose-colored glasses are great until they’re not. It’s always better to consider everything before you take the leap.

I miss my sweet friend so much. I cherish the times I had with her, laughing and commiserating and just doing life together. I’d like to think I’m wiser than I was before I knew her but I sure do miss her wisdom. I miss the truth she spoke into my life. I pray I can be that kind of friend to others.

February 22, 2018

Let God be God

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. – Proverbs 14:12

We like to tell other people what to do, don’t we? We like to sit on our throne and pass judgement on those around us.

Of course, we don’t view it that way. We only want what’s best for them. They just can’t see the truth like we do. And don’t they read the Bible? Don’t they see the wrong in what they’re doing?

There’s one major problem in always knowing how other people should live their lives: it’s embedded in idolatry of ourselves.

Wait a minute, you’re saying about now. No. I don’t idolize myself, you’re insisting. Are you sure about that?

Why do you think that you have the right to judge others or to instruct them as to how they should live their lives? We’re not talking about a preacher speaking from the pulpit or a teacher leading a class. We’re talking about individuals who go around getting angry because others aren’t living their lives the way we think they should.

I have had so much “advice” in recent years. What about you? People are quick to tell me what to do and how to do it. They aren’t quick to actually help when it comes to work. They aren’t there to cope with the sorrow and everyday heartaches. Not at all. They’d rather stand outside and point their fingers at what they don’t understand and what isn’t any of their business.

How about you? Do you have people who want to manage your life too? Are they giving you unsolicited advice about jobs or child-rearing or how to take care of your lawn?

I have a neighbor whose name I don’t even know. He and his wife seem nice enough except that he has decided that with my Daddy gone on to heaven that it’s his job to give me advice about cows. Except the man doesn’t own cows. He’s never owned cows. His comments are condescending and ignorant.

I’ve tried to be nice but mostly I just avoid him. I don’t want to deal with him. Do I ever need advice? Absolutely. And when I do, I seek out people who own livestock. I ask questions from people who deal with cows every single day.

He means well. I tell myself that again and again. I know it’s not about me. Really, it isn’t. It’s about his need to control the actions of someone else. People who try to direct the lives of others are all about control.

We all probably have someone like that in our lives. Maybe we are that person for someone else. We are making ourselves an idol, believing that we know better than anyone else, including God.

Ah. There it is. God is the One in control. God is the One directing our steps. God is the One who knows the right path for each of us.

Sometimes we believe truly, deep down in our hearts, that we know the best path for someone else. We don’t. Certainly, pray about your concerns. If the person has taken a wrong path, the Holy Spirit will convict them. But whatever you do, get out of the way and Let God be God. Trust Him with your own life and the lives of those around you.

January 16, 2018

Get Advice From God

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. – 1 John 4:1

I have developed a really sensitive button over the last few months. It comes from having way too many people give way too much “advice” based on their desires for my life. Some would call them busybodies. Or nosy. Or people with too much time on their hands.

I struggle to remind myself that most of them have good intentions. It is a struggle though. How do they expect me to respond when it seems as though most of them don’t think I’ve capable of making my own decisions and refuse to  respect my choices?

Don’t get me wrong. We all need advice sometimes. And we all need to surround ourselves with wise people. But what none of us need are other people trying to run our lives because they’ve failed so miserably at their own. Nor do we need people trying to force us to do something that will benefit them. All for us, of course.

When I need advice do you know who I turn to first? God. Yes. That’s right. I pray to the Holy One who has all the answers. He’s my confidant. He’s the One who knows me better than anyone else. And He’s the One who truly knows what is best for me.

Have you ever tried telling someone who is giving you unsolicited “advice” that you are praying about it? That never goes over well. People who are truly prayer warriors, who truly seek what God’s will is for your life, won’t spend their time telling you what to do. They don’t give their unwanted opinions. They don’t assume they have all the answers. And they recognize that God knows best.

I have one friend who desperately wants a beach house. She dreams about it. That’s her ultimate goal. Unfortunately, her husband detests the beach so it’s not going to happen. Guess what she wants me to do? Buy a beach house because it will make “me” happy.

I have another friend who never misses an opportunity to tell me to sell the cows. I like the cows most of the time. I grew up around cows. I helped my Dad with them. In recent years, I mostly was the one who cared for them. It is a connection to my Dad. I don’t want to sell them. I don’t expect anyone else to understand that fact. I do expect others to respect my decision and to stop talking about it.

What is someone insisting that you do for “your own good”? One friend laughing tells how her daughter got upset with her when she refused to quit her job to keep her grandchildren so her daughter could work and the kids wouldn’t have to be in daycare. Her daughter’s reasoning? Well, you don’t need the money. Yeah. Belt-tightening can be a good thing, especially if it’s someone else making the sacrifices.

I’ve learned over the years to run things by God. Maybe He does want me to do something, or not do something, someone else is advising. Or maybe the issue isn’t about me at all. A good tipoff is when I offer to pray about it, and the person insists I don’t need to do that.

Always seek wise counsel from God. Those who love Jesus and truly have your best interests in mind will understand and respect your final decision. The ones who don’t understand and respect your decision, well, maybe a little distance would be the wiser course.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Unsolicited Advice Unwelcome

Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless. -- Psalm 108:12

They meant well. Surely, they did. But their words were like pouring lemon juice on an open wound. They stung in an infuriating way that comes when good intentions stick their noses where they really don’t belong.

A wonderful man told of having to calm his father after the older man was approached by not one but two different women offering advice. The man’s wife is sick. He and his son have taken her to doctors and are preparing to take her to yet another specialist out of town.

These well-intentioned women know exactly what their friend’s husband should do. And they shared it with him. It didn’t seem to matter that they don’t know what’s going on, what the doctors have said, or what future plans have been made.

Nor did they bother asking. They were too busy offering advice they weren’t qualified to give, confident that they knew better than the woman’s family and personal physicians.

I understood exactly what he was saying. During my own Mother’s illness the most difficult issues have come from the busybodies who fueled her fears, gave unwelcome and erroneous advice, and generally created more havoc in a horrible situation. I even threatened to pack her bags and let her move in with one woman who seemed intent on telling my Father and I what we needed to be doing. Seriously.

Of course, I’m sure I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing on more than one occasion. I’ve learned that lesson now. It’s different when you’re the one coping with a bad situation and just doing the best you can.

Understand that I’m not talking about those who offer food and companionship. Nor am I referring to people who pull strings to get appointments with medical specialists for their friends. (As someone recently and thankfully did for a someone I know.) I’m referring to those who offer unsolicited and generally erroneous advice in situations that don’t involve them and where they don’t have all the facts.

The unwanted advice of man truly is worthless and unwelcome. Prayers, and God’s guidance, are always helpful and gracious gifts. Next time someone you like and care for faces a serious illness, don’t be so quick to offer advice. Be a supporter and, in some cases, a sounding board. But unless you’re invited into the inner circle of care, keep your opinions to yourself.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

God’s Word Teaches Us

“Study this Book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed.” -- Joshua 1:8

Sound words of advice, wouldn’t you agree? Especially since these words came directly from God. They were to guide Joshua has he led God’s people following the death of Moses.

I will never understand how people can claim to know what the Bible says when they’ve never read it. We’re so fortunate in this country that we have Bibles readily available. And for those who don’t enjoy reading, they can get the audio version. So many people in the world don’t have access to the Bible, or, if they do, they could be imprisoned or killed for possessing it.

Do you want God to speak to you? Do you want God to guide you? Do you want to know what God’s will is for your life? Then read the Bible. It’s the first place to look. The first place. Because it’s impossible to really know God without knowing what He says.

I know. We think we know Him. We do. We’ve asked Jesus into our hearts. We’ve been Baptized. Most Sundays we attend church. We’re believers. We are. We just don’t want to have to work at it.

Ah. There you have it. We view reading the Bible as work. One more chore in a never ending list of chores we face each day. It’s easier to veg out in front of the television. But it isn’t as memorable. And it won’t feed your soul the way the Bible will.

That’s the thing about the Bible. Once you start reading it, the story is simply amazing. It’s got it all. Feuds and murder. Great kings and horrible kings. Prostitutes and queens. Redemption and love. There’s a reason it is often called the greatest story ever told.

There are numerous versions of the Bible which makes the stories easy to understand. There are also Bibles with lots of footnotes for those of us with many questions. There really is no excuse for not reading and understanding God’s Word.

Yeah. It takes time. And commitment. There are plenty of reading plans out there to help you if you’re the type of person who needs structure. As for me, I did it the old-fashioned way. I started with Genesis 1:1 and read through the Bible. Then I did it again. And again. Because it is a good story and I learn something new every time I read it.

So what are you waiting for? You’ll never regret investing your time in God’s Word.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Just Give God A Call

“Ask me and I will tell you some remarkable secrets about what is going to happen here.”
-- Jeremiah 33:3

A dear friend posted this message on facebook: God’s phone number is Jeremiah 33:3. I wonder how many of us had to look up that Scripture right then? It was such a wonderful reminder that the answers we seek are easily available if we will only take time to listen.

We live in an instant world. No surprises there. But we also live in a selfish world, where we tend to put our own needs or the needs of those we care about before everything and everyone else. Sometimes that is natural and good. Sometimes it is selfish and cruel.

We want what we want when we want it. God doesn’t work that way. So we grow frustrated when He doesn’t instantly give us what we want. Sort of like spoiled children. We have a little fit and launch our very own pity party.

One woman is frustrated that her illness won’t just go away. She expects a miracle cure or, at least, a little pill that makes it seem like her illness doesn’t exist. Unfortunately, she does have an illness and the medicine that takes care of that comes with side effects. And she’s really unhappy.

Especially with God. Oh, her family and doctors get their negative comments too. But she can’t understand why God won’t cure her when she has asked him to. So she’s given up. There’s just no point in trying if she can’t get exactly what she wants.

Contrast that with another woman who lives with tremendous pain each and every day. There’s nothing the doctors can do but try and ease her discomfort. She refuses to sit down and feel sorry for herself. She pushes ahead, caring for friends and family. She volunteers at a camp for abused children. She’s involved in her community. She’s happy and filled with laughter. She refuses to let her pain control her life.

And she praises God for her life. She’s faithful in all she does to give Him glory. She does all she can to live as He has called her to live.

The differences between the two women are startling even as they are similar. Their attitudes set them apart. One woman is grounded in her deep faith and trust in her Lord and Savior. The other women relies on shallow faith that shifts like the wind and is dependent on whether or not she gets her own way.

I have no idea what the future holds. None of us do. But we do have a God who loves and cares for us. We have a Heavenly Father who is right there, willing to talk with us and tell us all we want to know. But we have to be willing to listen and to understand that sometimes His answer is no.