False Flattery Leads to Ruin
Those who flatter their neighbors are
spreading nets for their feet.
– Proverbs 29:5
“I’m a good-looking man,” he told me. “I’m quite the
catch.”
There was no way to hide the shock from my face. I
wasn’t sure what well-meaning person had given him this information but they
had done him no favors. They had fueled his arrogance, leaving him vulnerable
to predators he couldn’t possibly see.
He had buried his wife, the love of his life. They had
both suffered through her horrible illness. It had been only a few months but
he was ready to move on. Rather than choose someone nearer to his age, someone
who would be a companion through his late years, he set his mind on someone
young enough to be his daughter. His heart craved a woman who was filled with
activity, a job and kids and volunteer work, rather than someone retired with
plenty of the time he expected to share.
I choose to believe that the person who told him this
had good intentions. It might have come from someone trying to help him fill
his days. He drives those he loves crazy with his need to be involved in everything
they do. He is lost yet refuses to devote himself to volunteer work or another
job. He doesn’t want to commit to anything, just in case he gets invited to
spend time with his family.
It’s just sad. Now it’s sadder. They have created a
situation they never expected and maybe don’t even see.
I have no idea how it will all play out. I’ve lived
long enough to watch friends make good decisions and bad. One man married
again, seeking a young and vibrant mate. The union lasted a few years. He is
bitter and vows never to marry again. She took advantage of him and his
pocketbook. He needed someone like his first wife, a woman who loved Jesus and
sought to spread good wherever she went. He got a party girl who looked good on
his arm and told him exactly what he wanted to hear.
Another friend was a bit wiser. Yes, he found a woman
quite younger but he wanted that for a different reason. He wanted someone who
would look after him. He understood his children wouldn’t sacrifice their lives
to care for him when the time comes and he needs a caregiver. In turn, he has
provided her with a home and health benefits, security the low-paying job she
still works will never give her. They seem happy, content even, with each
benefiting from the other’s presence. It is not a love match, but maybe it
doesn’t need to be.
I hope this man finds the same. He is a good man. But
vanity can cause the very best people to make absolutely the worst choices.
They get caught up in who they think they are, letting pride cloud their eyes
with falsehood masquerading as truth.
God certainly doesn’t want us walking around in
defeat. He also doesn’t expect us to walk around with puffed up opinions of who
we are and what we deserve. It can only lead to disaster, laying a net of
disaster for its unsuspecting victim.
