August 24,2024

 Do You Know Jesus

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted,

He saves those crushed in spirit.

– Psalm 34:18

He was only 14. Today his family and friends will gather in the high school gym to celebrate his life. It makes no sense. Death doesn’t always make sense.

It was a normal school day. He and the rest of the football team lifted weights inside and then headed outside. He suffered a “medical emergency” within minutes.

One day we’ll know what happened. One day we’ll understand. But right now we wonder how a seemingly healthy young athlete could simply die.

We’ve cheered him on through more basketball games than I can count. Our grandson is the same age and was on the same teams. Junior high games. Rec ball games. Travel ball games. We watched him play earlier this month.

Our only consolation is that he knew Jesus. This separation is not the final goodbye. We’ll see him again. I am thankful for his faith. I am thankful for the promises of Jesus.

So I turn to you and ask: Do you know Jesus? Have you accepted Him as Lord and Savior? It’s not about knowing the right words to say when someone asks. It’s a heart thing. Has Jesus changed your heart? Do your words and actions reflect Him?

No one expected a 14-year-old boy to die that day. But he did. Don’t assume you’ve got time. One day it’ll all be over. So I’ll ask you again: Do you know Jesus?

May 22, 2018

Reach Out to a Caregiver

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13

She is always okay. That’s what she tells anyone who might ask. There is a sadness that covers her, a fatigue that never goes away. She is a caregiver. The only way her life will change is when death claims someone she loves dearly.

My heart breaks for her. I know there really is nothing I can do. I pray for her to have the strength to see it through to the end. She is an only child, which is both a blessing and a curse. The weight of decisions rests solely on her shoulders. She is alone.

Oh, I know what some of you might be saying. What about her spouse? What about her children? What about her friends and her church family? All of those are gladly walking beside her and will do whatever we can. But at the end of the day, this is a journey she must take alone.

Those who brush off her fatigue have never taken the journey. Paid helpers don’t relieve the very real demands on her physically and emotionally. She made a commitment. She buried her Dad and then moved her Mom into her home. The commitment was easy. The days are not.

Living in a daily caregiving situation is far different from caring for someone who is still at home or who is in an assisted living or nursing home situation. It just is. Those times can drain you but not in the way of a 24-hour situation.

One ear must always be ready to hear. Plans are frequently set aside. Life changes quickly. The needs of someone else must always come first. I suppose it must like having an infant, except the weight is so much more. Sometimes the attitude is too. And you can’t just pick them up and take them with you. It’s all so much more complicated than that.

There’s a church in a nearby town that began a ministry for those with Alzheimer’s. Staffed only with trained volunteers, they provide a safe and enjoyable environment two mornings a week for those who can no longer stay alone. It gives their caregivers a much needed break.

One sweet friend traveled west several times a year to give her brother and sister-in-law relief from the daily care of their mother. Yes. There were full-time caregivers. But it’s not like having a family member there. It’s never really a break when you are always on call. Her being there provided someone else to be on call.

Do you know someone who is a caregiver? Are you able to give them a break? How about a meal or an uplifting card? Pray for them – and tell them that you are doing so. Reach out and don’t tell yourself you’ve done your part when they tell you they’re “fine.” They aren’t fine.

Sorrowful journeys are part of life in this fallen world. We gain the strength to make it through from the people who walk beside us. Take a moment today to reach out to a caregiver. Show someone who is hurting and overwhelmed the hands and feet of Jesus.

May 14, 2018

Don’t Miss the Real Lesson

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

– Colossians 3:12

We didn’t have much of a Sunday School lesson yesterday. At least not officially. It’s not that I wasn’t prepared. I was. It was because some Sundays there are more important things than the “lesson.”

One of our classmates was in tears. Sadness oozed from her broken heart. Another person was in physical pain. Nothing seems to bring relief. Yet another deals daily with the impact of her son’s unwise choices. It was Mother’s Day and that special day is forever changed because of his choices.

A pastor once told me that our class was different. I didn’t fully understand what she meant until I tried to organize meal delivery for someone in another class. The couple were desperate for relief as she fought what turned out to be a futile battle against cancer. I was amazed and appalled at those who weren’t willing to step up and help on that sad journey.

Our class has taken food, provided physical support, helped clear yards, and done a multitude of other things. Yes, we tend to help one another rather than others. We are working on that. But we are a family in the truest sense. We share one another’s joys and accomplishments. And we bear one another’s burdens, holding each person near as needs arise.

One member joked that yesterday was fellowship day. Maybe it was. It’s how we’ve grown so close over the years. We don’t just bring the happy stuff in the door. We bring it all. Everyone is met with kindness and compassion, with a caring ear and, when the need is there, physical help.

Not everyone sees it that way. Isn’t that always the case? We have a few members who are all about the “lesson.” They resent anything that takes them away from the teaching I’ve prepared. They want to study Scripture and history and prayer. All that is well and good but sometimes I think they miss the point.

Jesus told us to love God first and then to love others as ourselves. How can we do that when we aren’t willing to hear their sorrows and carry their burdens? Life isn’t all about being happy. I wish it was but that’s not reality. Sometimes life hurts. Who shares that journey with you?

The hard truth is that when we shut down people who are hurting, when we refuse to make time to hear their sorrow, we push them away from God. There’s a difference between enabling and encouraging drama and self-pity and really listening to someone struggling to stay afloat. As children of God, we are to pray for discernment and, when in doubt, err on the side of compassion.

We’ll finish our official lesson next week. It’s not going anywhere. But those hearts, well, I’d like to think they’re a little lighter because of the encouragement and love they felt in that classroom.

March 14, 2018

Teachers Help Their Students

My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!

– Psalm 119:28

She had called DHR. For those who don’t know, that’s the Department of Human Resources. It’s who you call to report suspected child abuse or neglect. It was her first time.

She didn’t give specifics. There was no need. She admitted she’d probably never know what the social workers found. She’d likely never see if anything really changed for the child. For some reason, teachers aren’t deemed worthy to know such things.

Years before I had consoled a friend as she navigated the first years of teaching second grade. “They (college professors) don’t tell you how to handle it all,” she said. “They train you to teach the children how to read and write, how to do math and learn about history. But what about all the other stuff? Young children can’t just leave it at the door and get on with their education.”

How true. No one explains what to do when a little girl shows up for class in a summer dress and no coat even though its freezing outside. No one trains you how to help a little boy who is now living with his grandmother because his daddy killed his mama.

The easy answer is to report it to the proper authorities and trust they will handle it. Social workers are supposed to make sure children get the counseling they need. They’re supposed to make sure children are properly cared for, getting the food, medical care, clothing and housing they deserve. Except that doesn’t always happen.

In our world, the focus is on keeping the family together even when it’s obviously not in the best interest of the child. Parents have rights, you know. There’s a long process. The children live life in limbo, unsettled and traded around like playing cards. Is shared blood really worth the cost?

Are there any better options? Foster care can be wonderful or a nightmare. How can anyone ever tell what is best for a broken child? Can love ever remove the scars of rejection and neglect that linger long into a life that goes on?

Another teacher told about finding out on social media that one of her students had been prostituted out by her own mother. She was able to connect court appearance dates with behavior issues with the child. Suddenly, it all made sense. That knowledge helped the teacher as she helped the child.

Teachers spend five days each week with their students. They are the first line of defense. Yet they are usually the last to know what’s going on with their students. Why is that? Aren’t they trustworthy? We trust them to teach our children. Why can’t we trust them to help those same children cope with horrible life circumstances?

There is a bond that develops between a teacher and her students. Their hearts break for those who are hurting, those who aren’t being nurtured and provided with proper care. God alone can open all our eyes to see the children who need help and to grant us the strength and courage to make the call. Maybe one day we’ll see the value of including teachers in the process.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Jesus Understands Our Grief

Jesus wept. -- John 11:35 (NIV)

It was a day of grief. The day after always seems to be that way. The first day, the first moments, are filled with shock and prayers and people holding on. Then come the silent moments where you can no longer hider from the awful truth.

Co-workers gathered round, talking, sharing stories, remembering. One said he hadn’t slept at all the night before. He worked next to the man killed in a motorcycle accident while on his way home for lunch. Even in the daylight hours, he kept talking to his friend. Then he’d realize his friend wasn’t there and a fresh wave of grief would descend.

Another, with tears in his eyes, couldn’t believe it. He thought maybe the man had taken a nap and overslept. He’d done that before and this man, his supervisor, had covered for him. He had that way about him. A quick smile and eagerness to learn that made everyone like him. His supervisor said he wished the man had overslept. He wished anything other than what had really happened.

Their boss recalled the moment she’d walked into the room where his wife sat with a chaplain. She’d had trouble finding her or getting any information. In the hospital’s misguided attempts to protect the new widow, they’d isolated her from people who cared. She noted that the woman had rushed to her and hugged her tightly and wouldn’t let go. A friendly face in a world that had suddenly gone dark. A compassionate person who understood at least some of her grief.

The morning brought its own challenges. A wedding ring left in a tool box had to be retrieved. Employees had to be comforted. An empty work space had to be avoided. It echoed too much of loss, of laughter that would never return.

The whys are only now beginning to emerge. Why do some people in motorcycle wrecks survive and some die? Why does God spare some people and take others without a moments notice? I have no answers. Was it simply a tragic collision of vehicles piloted for people entrusted with free will? Or was it something greater, a part of God’s plan that we’ll one day see and understand?

Maybe it only comes down to knowing that God is with us on this horrible journey. Maybe what matters most is that He sees, He knows, He understands. We remember that one time Jesus lost a friend and He wept.

And now, brothers and sisters, I want you to know what will happen to the Christians who have died so you will not be full of sorrow like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus comes, God will bring back with Jesus all the Christians who have died. -- 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (NLT)

It’s what we hold on to during these

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Death Leaves Shattered Dreams

“He will remove all their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. For the old world and its evils are gone forever.” -- Revelation 21:4

He went to lunch. The same thing he did every day he worked. Only this day he didn’t come back. His co-workers began to notice his absence. They got worried. They tried his cell phone but got no answer. Finally a supervisor called the hospital and found him.

His young wife sat there alone. He was dead. Just that fast. All their hopes and dreams shattered in a split second. His life on earth ended at age 23. She is now a 20-year-old widow. We know it can happen. We just never expect it to happen to someone we know.

I first met this young man several years ago when he began his job. He started at the bottom but he was never at the bottom of his supervisor’s radar. He was smart and he had a particular aptitude for engines and mechanics. He got promoted rather quickly. His supervisor started sending him to special schools. Yeah. He had a bright future working for people who valued his abilities.

He was a favorite among his co-workers. He had a quick laugh. His eyes would twinkle and he’d shake his head, a grin spread from ear to ear. He’d snag a soda or donut, look around to see if anyone noticed, then laugh about it as he leisurely strolled back to the shop.

He told me once that his mother was determined that all her children would attend college. He was just as determined that he would not. He was smart enough. He just wasn’t interested and considered college a waste of money for someone who would never use a degree.

He loved all things mechanical. He had a knack for engines -- cars, trucks, motorcycles. He loved to tinker with them and always had. That’s what he told me. He knew what he wanted to do and was determined to make his dream come true.

If he’d just left that motorcycle alone. He’d only had it a week. He usually drove a deep red Mercury that he’d spiffed up in his customary style. But not that day. Not that lunch. Not in that moment when it mattered.

So now family and friends will gather around his wife and his mother. They’ll mourn and rejoice, all at the same time. Because he’s gone home and doing just fine but they’re still here and face endless days and nights without him by their side.

Friday, July 22, 2011

God Is With Us

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -- Romans 8:28

Where is God when bad things happen? Are bad things just part of His plan? Does He allow Satan to harm us like He did Job? Or are bad things just part of life, where humans make choices and stuff simply happens?

Let me say first that I don’t have all the answers or, even, really any of the answers. I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. And I have a God who is everything, beginning and ending with love. So how do His people cope with all those really bad things that happen in their lives?

First, I don’t believe God has preordained that horrible things will happen to us. I refuse to believe that God would plan child abuse, or rape or murder. It’s just not in His nature.

Second, I don’t think God sits on the sidelines of our lives and “allows” bad things to happen. Yes, He is all powerful. And, yes, He could intervene. Sometimes He does. More often, He doesn’t. Why is that?

God gave us the freedom to make some really bad decisions. Those decisions sometimes destroy the lives of other people, like when someone drives drunk and kills a family on their way home from church. Other times it’s not so easy to explain. Why does one person get cancer and another doesn’t? Why does one person die from a heart attack and another live to be 100?

Maybe the answer is just that bad things happen in this fallen world. There’s no specific reason, no grand plan, nobody to blame. Just incredible sadness. We look forward to heaven because there will be no more sorrow there.

So where is God in all that sadness? Walking right beside us, providing strength and comfort all along the way. He promises to never leave or forsake us. And He promises to turn bad things into good. It doesn’t mean God planned the bad things, just that He will use those bad things to draw us closer to Him.

I’ll probably never understand why horrible things happen to really good people. But I do know fully that God is with us no matter what happens on this journey called