September 12, 2018

God Sustains Us

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

– Isaiah 46:4

Some seasons are just hard. Some days seem to never end. Some times life seems so meaningless. Some hours we struggle to breath. And then it gets better.

I look around and see so much suffering and heartache. As I write this, coastal areas in South Carolina and North Carolina are evacuating. A catastrophic hurricane is headed toward those beautiful states. I know what’s coming. I’ve been where they are. High winds. Flooding. Buildings destroyed. Roads wiped away. And power out for a long time. I pray for those in harms way. And I pray for those first responders who are already there and the ones who will soon be heading into the aftermath.

We are blessed that way. Those who go toward disaster are amazing people. In my own community, there are groups specially trained in disaster relief. They can cook for the masses. They can cut up downed trees. They can rip out wet carpet and wipe down mold from walls. They can rebuild. And they can give hugs, offer prayers, and wipe tears. They go where they’re needed.

I watch a sweet friend struggle through the days that follow sudden death. Her husband was too young to die. He was supposed to be okay. He’s supposed to be at home with her and their kids. I know. He’s in heaven and having a joyous time. But she’s here and it hurts. The emptiness never really goes away. And none of us can really help her. We can love her. We can send cards and offer hugs. But we can’t erase the pain that rests in her broken heart.

And yet her faith is amazing. She clings tightly to Jesus, showing all of us what it means to let Him carry you when you are too overwhelmed to take another step. She continues to reach out to others. She gives of herself to ministries they supported. She is an example of goodness. We are blessed to be part of her journey.

It’s just so easy to focus on the bad. It’s easy to forget that while there are some awful things happening right now, there are also some pretty amazing things happening too. And while there are some pretty awful people around, there are some pretty amazing people around too.

Focus on what’s good and right. That’s what the Bible tells us. We have a choice to think about good things or to think about the bad. Choose the good and watch how it multiplies.

A friend asked me yesterday if I was worried about something I face. Honestly? No. Do you know why? Because Jesus was right when He said that no amount of worrying can or will add another day to my life. I’m not in control. God is. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. Worrying won’t change it. But worrying would steal the peace I have today.

I have always loved this verse from Isaiah. When times get tough and I’m not sure I can face the days ahead, I remember that God made me. I belong to Him. And He will help me and sustain me. He will carry me when I am too weak to take another step. And He will love me no matter what.

That’s the hope I cling to when I am overwhelmed. I pray it’s the hope the folks evacuating from the hurricane will cling to as well. No amount of worrying will change what’s to come. We can only pray for strength to handle the aftermath. And we can look around and find joy in the helping hands God sends to carry us when times are tough.

July 15, 2018

Weigh Your Words

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. – Proverbs 15:28

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is hold my tongue during what seemed to be an unrelenting attack. It is natural to want to retaliate, to jump into the fray, to defend oneself against lies and slander.

God says to hold our tongues. God says to weigh our words carefully. God says vengeance belongs to Him. God says we are safe and protected in the shelter of His wings.

Today’s Sunday school lesson was on forgiveness. It wasn’t about forgiving the small things. People hurt our feelings. People do us wrong. It’s part of life.

Today was about the big things. It was about Bart Millard forgiving the father who abused him. It was about the families of slain massacre victims forgiving the killer. It was about the big things. The things words can’t change. The things that alter lives and destroy people.

That’s the forgiveness we’re called to. That’s what Jesus did for us as He hung on the cross. Even as He suffered, He asked God to forgive those who had placed Him there. Me and you. We placed Him there.

Jesus didn’t hurl insults as those who mocked Him. Jesus didn’t defend Himself. Jesus didn’t fight back. He took the abuse and died so that you and I could live. How amazing is that?

One woman talked about trying again and again to restore a broken relationship. She talked about how hard it is to forgive, how hard it is to walk away. Yet, sometimes that’s the best thing. We can’t change the hearts of others. We can’t erase their words. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and trust God to handle it.

She spoke of holding her tongue when she really wanted to defend herself. I know about that. It’s tough to hear lies hurled at you and to walk away. It’s hard to allow someone to blame you for what they’ve done. But there is power in the name of Christ. There is forgiveness and healing. There is strength. There is grace in a better life.

Another woman noted that it’s usually those who are guilty who keep talking. It’s as though they’re trying to justify themselves, to convince even their own hearts that they’re right even when they know they’re wrong. It’s like refusing to engage with a bully. When you walk away rather become a victim, there’s a shift toward freedom.

The satisfaction that comes from saying your piece is often short-lived. It doesn’t change anyone. It simply fuels something that should be allowed to die. Trust God to handle your situation. If you need to speak, He will give you words. Otherwise, walk away and trust Him to handle it in His timing and His way.

May 5, 2016

Treat Your Enemies Well

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” -- Luke 6:27-28

Have you ever had to regularly deal with someone who hates you? Maybe a co-worker? Or another church member? (That happens more often than we like to admit.) Or maybe it’s a family member?

It’s hard to love someone who hates you, isn’t it? It’s hard to pray for people who are lying about you and trying to harm you. It’s difficult to do good and be kind to someone who wishes you were dead.

Yet this is exactly what Jesus tells us to do.

Do they deserve it? No. But neither do I deserve His love, forgiveness, and grace. I remind myself of that regularly, as I struggle with these words of Jesus.

Jesus was telling the Jewish people to treat the Romans who oppressed them with respect. He no doubt lost a few followers over that one. We don’t want to be kind to people who wish us harm.

It’s understandable. Our human reflex is to fight, to defend ourselves, to lash out with words that refute their lies. And then it escalates. No one wins. Everyone loses. And you are left more broken than before.

So you remain silent. You walk away from the conflict. You do good where you can. You stay strong, not because you are strong but because God is strong.

This is where you take it all to Him. You get down on your knees and, in the words of one Bible teacher, you tattle on the person who seeks to harm you. That’s right. Tell God all about it. Pour out your hurt and your anger, rant about the unfairness of being blamed for someone else’s mistake. Tell God how upset you are that someone else took credit for your idea.

Then get up and leave it with God. That’s the hardest part. Leaving it with Him and trusting Him to take care of it. Sometimes I think that’s the only way to get through it all is to know that God will always avenge those who belong to Him. Always. His Word is so clear on that. Be patient. Do your part to follow Him and trust God to fight for you.

February 6, 2016

Walk Away

“Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” -- Mark 6:10-11

Sometimes you just have to walk away. All the drama and the hurt and bad feelings that keep pounding at you will only destroy you in the end.

It’s a hard lesson to learn. In our faith, we are told to forgive and to do good to our enemies. That doesn’t mean to continue to allow Satan’s minions to destroy your peace. It means giving the situation to God and trusting that He will handle it in His time and in His way.

Forgiveness is hard. Truly it is. We want revenge. That’s our human nature. Sometimes the most kind thing we can do, the most forgiving thing we can do, is walk away. I learned a long time ago that I can’t make people like me or even care about me. I can’t turn someone’s heart into something that it is not. I can’t force someone to live a faith they claim but show no evidence of in their lives.

It’s like a drug addict that blames everyone but the person in the mirror for that addiction. We are called to search ourselves and get that plank out of our own eye. Then give it to God. Don’t let that addict’s finger pointing cause you to doubt yourself or your faith.

I am not a perfect person. I don’t claim to be. That is one of the many reasons I am so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. But I have reached a stage in life where the opinions of others no longer matter to me. I report to God. Period. I have searched myself. I fail Him every single day. That doesn’t mean I will continue to allow bullies to keep me on the defensive day after day.

I have washed my feet and walked away from their dirt. What about you? Are there people in your life who are toxic to you? Are there people who seek to destroy you? Give it to God and walk away. We are not meant to suffer abuse at their hands.

Trust God. If it is His will, they will change. But remember this too: We all have free will. We all have choices to make. A choice for anger, bitterness, jealousy, rage. It’s all there. Walk away and leave them to God. Forgive them from a distance. Love them from a distance. But walk away just the same.

Friday, February 17, 2012

God Lights The Dark Path

Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path. -- Psalm 119:105

Some days are just, well, days. One stumbling block after another. One setback after another. One hurt after another. One duty after another. And on and on until fatigue rests so deeply within that it’s almost impossible to see the light.

But it’s there. Beckoning us onward when we’d much rather curl up in a fetal position and forget the world and all its unrelenting demands. We trudge forward but the world weighs us done. We turn around. Confused. Where is the lit path? Where did it go?

Yesterday was one of those days. I did what I had to do, what I needed to do, what others expected me to do. I gulped down a large medical bill that I anticipated but that still brought deep upset. I listened to a friend talk about her new man and how lonely she’s been, all the while aware that she never once asked about me or allowed the conversation to veer to anyone other than herself.

I heard the excuses of someone whose boss had made a promise and now, when I didn’t have time to go elsewhere, wanted me to know she hadn’t kept her commitment. I should have known, I told myself. An attempt at a good deed and now I’ve got to scramble. More work. More time. More worry. Didn’t I already have enough on my plate?

Which always leads to self-loathing as I berate that selfish part of me. I mentally start counting my blessings. Tears flow. I start again. Surely I can focus enough on the good to overcome the despair of the day. It’s just a day. I’m tired. Why does it seem that everyone wants something? The well is empty. I am empty.

So I turn to the only place I know with answers. I kneel before the only One who listens. I search for peace and answers and the light. I know there’s a light. He promised and He always keeps His promises.

There He is! I see Him. God. I’ll be okay. Strength for another day. I take a deep breath. Exhale. He’ll walk me through it step by step. I can make it after all. I’m not alone. He never left me. He promised to stay by my side. God always keeps His promises. I really will be okay.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Careless Words Hurt

“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -- Matthew 12:36-37

People are so insensitive sometimes. All of us can come up with comments and opinions that just hurt. It’s really not okay to criticize and judge people who are sick. Really. It isn’t.

My cousin was in tears. Her husband is really sick and while some days are better others, only a miracle will turn his health around. Someone asked about him, then preceded to tell her that her sweet husband had brought it on himself by smoking all those years. That sure helped, didn’t it?

Maybe that did cause his illness. Or it could have been the asbestos or the sawdust or many other things. The doctors don’t know. Why would this person think she knows? And why would she say something so mean? The cause doesn’t change anything at this point. He’s tethered to a breathing machine and so weak he rarely leaves his home.

I think sometimes people simply want to assure themselves that they won’t get sick. They believe that you can’t have lung problems unless you smoke. That’s not true, by the way. I know two people who died with lung cancer and neither had ever smoked.

But that’s not the point. We should strive to be kind to all people, but especially those who are sick or are caregivers of someone who is really sick. They suffer so much worry. Their burdens never seem to end. They need support and love, hugs and casseroles. Not criticism or careless words of blame.

Other times people just don’t know what to say so they say what they shouldn’t to fill the void. “I’m so sorry he’s sick,” is a wonderful comment. Hugs are great. “I’m praying for you,” matters so much. Just knowing that other people care helps.

Next time you’re tempted to judge someone who is sick, don’t. Next time you’re tempted to blame someone who is sick, don’t. Say something kind or keep your mouth shut. Careless words hurt deeply. Pay attention to what you say.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Encourage Someone Today

With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. -- Proverbs 11:9

I am a lazy person. I am not real smart and I do most things the wrong way. How do I know? I am surrounded by people who tell me so every day.

A friend goes through something similar with her mother. Fortunately, her mother dotes on her grandchildren. Unfortunately, her view of their mother remains the same as always.

What really tears me up is that people criticize her for the way her children reject their grandmother. It isn’t enough that she takes her children to visit their grandmother. Or that she tries to care for a woman who treats her so badly. Don’t these critics realize that children hear everything? They’re smart enough to know that their grandmother is saying bad things to and about their mother. Of course they don’t want to be around her. They love their Mom.

Instead of feeling sympathy and encouraging this young woman who is in such an awful place, they condemn her. Yeah. That’s right. Blame the victim because the abuser has hurt feelings. Makes perfect sense to me.

I have no words of advice for her. I can’t even tell her that it gets better with time. Honestly, I think dealing with it just gets worse. How do you balance the biblical call to care for your parents and the very real need to protect yourself from verbal abuse? How do you keep forgiving the same people day after day -- something Jesus told us to do -- and not let it destroy you? I haven’t a clue.

The other night I listened to a man on a radio talk show telling his experiences as a child and the horrible things he learned in school. He learned he was fat. He learned he couldn’t play sports. He learned that people laughed at him when he didn’t understand something. Fortunately, in seventh grade he came upon a teacher that cared about him. She directed him to public speaking as an extracurricular activity and he excelled. The next year he had yet another teacher who encouraged him. Both, he found out later, were Christians.

Encouragement. Maybe that’s the key. We can’t change the people in our lives who are determined to knock us down at every turn. But we can encourage one another and provide a welcome respite from the cruelty the world sometimes dishes up.

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

-- Proverbs 15:4

Oh, by the way, that man who suffered so much early in school later became a teacher. A really good teacher. I don’t know his name but in 1986 he became teacher of the year for the entire nation. All it took was someone who cared enough to encourage him so that he could become the person God intended him

Monday, June 20, 2011

God Is A Safe Place

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God; and I am trusting him. -- Psalm 91:1-2

Some wounds never really heal. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself you’ve forgiven those who harmed you. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve shoved your emotions in that neat little box and put on your happy face. Deep wounds leave scars. And scars don’t ever really go away.

Ever lost someone you loved, suddenly? Bet you remember where you were when you got the call. I’m sure you even remember the agonizing pain that ripped you apart in that instance when your world changed forever. Time eases the pain but you never forget. Not ever.

Have you ever had a family member tell you they hate you? Words can wound in ways that nothing else can. And they can never ever be taken back. Especially when the person flinging them isn’t sorry and doesn’t change or even try to make amends. You forgive. The Bible says to forgive. You make excuses and tell yourself it doesn’t matter. But you never forget and nothing is ever the same.

We can all pretend that life is perfect and that we’re handling whatever traumas we’ve collected in our hearts. But every now and then, they rise up like an ugly dream that won’t go away. They knock you down again. It’s hard to believe you’re facing all that hurt yet again. You need a safe place to heal and regain your strength.

God is my safe place. He is where I run when the pain seems too much, when the nightmares haunt my mind, when the depth of my aloneness threatens my very existence. I couldn’t begin to face a day without knowing He is right there beside me. He promised long ago to never leave me or forsake me and God always keeps His promises.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Jesus Forgives You

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 3:13-14

We all have regrets, past mistakes, things we wish we could undo or do over. Let it go. Move on. God forgives you. Forgive yourself.
Paul knew what he was talking about. He couldn't undo his past but he could move forward, telling everyone about Jesus, and focused on the eternity that would end his race. He could never undo the sight of Stephen's death (the first Christian martyr) or his part in that tragedy but Paul could repent and change his life.
Jesus' blood wiped your sins away. Now live in sich a way that others see Jesus living inside you.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Only One Opinion Matters

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

-- Romans 8:1-2

I have been condemned by the people around me. I have been criticized and failed miserably no matter the path I take. The verbal bullet is aimed straight at me and there is no relief in sight. I'm thankful that those who judge me so harshly are not the ones whose opinion truly matters. Jesus has freed me from their condemnation.

It doesn't mean the hurt has gone away. Or will go away in this lifetime. I suspect it will always be there, telling me I am not worthy to be a part of their world. That's okay, I tell myself. This isn't my home anyway. My home is in heaven. This place is just temporary. Satan's voice reminds me that it's a good thing too. Home is where a person is loved and wanted. I've finally thrown the towel in on that one.

It's so tiring trying to meet the expectations of others. It's an impossible situation. Someone is always unhappy and I am a convenient scapegoat. It would almost be comical if it weren't so sad. I get blamed for things that aren't even remotedly my fault. Don't get me wrong. I'm far from perfect and I certainly do my share of things wrong. But, honestly, I have nothing to do with the weather or what other people say or do.

I know I'm not alone in this. We've all had someone else take their bad mood out on us. We've all dealt with temper tantrums and irritable people. We've all deserved better at one time or another. Mine just seems to be ongoing and Satan tells me I'm the problem. Maybe I am. Some people are meant to be a thorn and I seem to be particularly good at that. At least in this family.

I'm thankful for the family I have waiting for me in heaven. I look forward to the warm welcome and loving arms of Jesus. I am grateful that I don't have to measure up to the rules and expectations of those around me here on earth. I am enough for God. He made me to be perfect in His eyes. There is no condemnation for those who embrace Jesus as Lord and Savior. No matter what the rest of the world may say.

Monday, December 13, 2010

God Soothes Hurts

"The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,..."

-- Nahum 1:7

It's the unexpected that can hurt the worst. You're going about your day and someone does or says something and you are blind-sided by the sheer cruelty of it. You struggle against lashing out. It won't help. It won't make you feel better and it likely would make a damaged relationship even worse.

Ever been there before? Most people probably have. Someone close to you lashes out for no apparent reason and you're reeling from the force. Where did it come from? Why? How to let go of the hurt and get past it?

I think I've got fairly thick skin. I do. Not by choice, mind you, but from life experiences. I'm pretty good at guarding myself from the nasty comments and unthinking actions of people around me. I can usually shake things off and move on. But I am not immune from hurt. Sometimes I don't even see it coming until I'm right in the middle of it. That's the hurt that wounds the deepest and takes the longest to get over.

I am so thankful that I have a Heavenly Father who never turns on me like that. I can count on Him to have my back, to speak to me from a place of love no matter what. I don't have to worry about attacks coming out of nowhere. When I've done something wrong, He lets me know, but He isn't mean or cruel. He loves me. All the time. And that is pretty awesome, especially on days like this.