February 17, 2022

 

A Hard Journey

 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21:4

 

A sweet friend watches as her mother’s life slowly fades. She sees the signs and fights for answers, miracles, another way. She knows God is in control and her mother’s life is in His hands. But it’s still hard to let go and trust His infinite wisdom when the result will break her heart.

 

 We don’t know the day or time that death will arrive; only that it will. I want to ease my friend’s pain and insist that she’s wrong. I can’t. I’ve walked the path that she’s now on and, honestly, it’s devastating. There’s nothing and no one who can prepare you for the finality of death.

 

I know someone reading this wants to remind me that because of Jesus, death really isn’t final for those who believe. I know that. So does she. It’s something to cling to when death has come and dealt its blow. But, still, there is pain. Always, there is pain.

 

Perhaps it’s better not to know the day and the hour. Perhaps it’s easier to pretend death will never come. But how can we do that when death is all around us? How can we ignore what is right in front of us?

 

Death comes in a myriad of ways. Car accidents, heart attacks, cancer, age and disease. The list never ends. We predict and we prepare only to learn that we never really understood how unpredictable our days really are.

 

We always think we’ve got more time. We truly believe tomorrow will come for us and those we love. Until one day it doesn’t. Do you know Jesus? Is He Lord of your life or are you merely going through the motions of faith? One day it will be too late to decide.

 

There’s something special about watching someone you love take their final breath on this earth and knowing they have opened their eyes in Heaven. As hard as it is, there’s also a peace and realization of what’s truly important.

Friday, June 24, 2011

God Loves All His Children Equally

“The LORD your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and takes no bribes.” -- Deuteronomy 10:17

A few years ago I watched a woman I adore break down in sobs as workers prepared to lower her mother’s casket into the ground. I reached out to comfort her, understanding that her sobs weren’t so much for the woman who had died but rather for a dream that had finally been laid to rest.

Her mother hadn’t loved her. Ever. No matter what the woman did, no matter how much she tried, she was never good enough to earn her mother’s love. It wasn’t that the woman was incapable of loving a child. She’d given birth to two sons and adored both of them. But her daughter, well, that was a different story.

The youngest of her three children had died years before. She had stood at his casket and lamented that it wasn’t her daughter laying there instead of her son. Her daughter heard every word. The woman didn’t care. She never cared how much pain she inflicted on a daughter she didn’t love.

The pain of a parent’s rejection never, ever goes away. It’s especially true when the rejection continues, again and again, as the hurtful barbs seek to wound. You do what you must. You honor God by treating someone better than she deserves, knowing that He will take care of it one day. And He will. Revenge belongs to God.

I am so grateful that God doesn’t play that favorites game. He doesn’t love one child more than the other. He doesn’t try to tear down family relationships but rather seeks to build up and heal wounds inflicted by selfish desires and unkind hearts.

I understood this woman’s pain because it so clearly reflected my journey. It’s what I live with day after day. Sometimes I ask myself why I don’t just bolt and run. It would be so much easier on my heart. But the answer to my question is always the same: God wants me to be here. It isn’t right. It isn’t fair. But it is where I’m supposed to be right now.

As long as she lives, I suppose there is hope. There is a chance for God’s miraculous hand to touch her heart so that it will open itself up to love her daughter. Hope. That’s what the woman lost when her mother died. Death ended any possibility of love and acceptance from her mother. And that is what she mourned.