May 28, 2018

Remember the Cost

“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me.”

– 2 Samuel 1:26a

David and Jonathan were like brothers. They had remained loyal to one another despite Saul’s attempts on David’s life. They had remained friends even though God had anointed David to be the next king, rather than Jonathan who was King Saul’s son. Only death could truly separate the friends.

War has always taken its devastating toll. That was the case here. Both King Saul and his son Jonathan were killed in battle. It was a very real cost of war but that didn’t ease the broken hearts of those left behind.

Today is Memorial Day. It isn’t a day to barbecue with friends, hang out at the beach or laze around with a good book. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that. It’s just that it misses the point.

This is the day we remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. It’s the day we remember those who never came home. We honor them and the families who were left with a gaping hole in their hearts. It is a somber day of remembrance.

In recent years some have tried to turn this day into a celebration of all veterans and those in active military service. That was never what was intended. I am grateful to those veterans and to those who are currently serving our country in the Armed Forces. But I truly hope and pray that their families won’t ever need to remember them on this day.

There are plenty of days to remember those who live. There is Veterans Day. There is Independence Day. There are lots of accolades and times to say “Thank You!” Today is for those who aren’t here with us anymore. Today is for those who died too soon.

The Vietnam Memorial stands as a stark reminder, the names etched in stone. Do you know someone whose name is on that monument? Yeah. Me too. It changes things, doesn’t it? Because none of those hero stories can ever replace the one who didn’t come home.

God understands our grief. He sees our tears. He stands with us as we remember, as we mourn, as we take those first steps alone. God knows how shattered hearts feel. Remember, He gave His Son so that we could live.

The cemetery just down the road will have a ceremony today. Flags will dot graves throughout the cemetery. One will rest beside my cousin, a young man who never had the chance to grow old. This day was special to his Dad, who was also a serviceman. It was the one day out of the year that everyone remembered what he had lost.

I don’t know what your plans are today, but I sure hope you take time to remember the cost of living in a free country. Please say a prayer for those who still grieve because, no matter what you may have been told, there’s no time limit on grief. Honor what they’ve lost by remembering what this day is all about.

April 11, 2016

Sin Reveals Itself

David burned with anger against the man. “I solemnly swear, as the Lord lives,” he said to Nathan, “the man who did this certainly deserves to die! 6 And he must pay back four times the price of the lamb because he did this and had no pity.”

7 “You are the man!” Nathan told David. -- 2 Samuel 12:5-7a

The prophet Nathan was wise. He didn’t confront King David directly. Instead he told a story about a poor man and his little lamb. It was heart wrenching how the rich man stole the poor man’s little lamb.

David was furious and vowed to punish the man -- until Nathan told David he was the man. David had stolen another man’s wife. He had sinned against the Lord.

It’s funny how clearly we can see the sin in another’s life and how blind we are to the same sin in our own lives. There’s a belief that the sins we see so clearly in others are the very sins we are trying to deny in our own lives. There’s a lot of truth in that.

Don’t you just hate it when others try to fix you? We’ve probably all been on the receiving end of that. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

To be fair, we’ve also all probably tried to fix someone else at some point as well. It didn’t work, did it? We can’t fix anyone, anymore than they can fix us. If we even need fixing.

That’s the thing about outside judgments. We really don’t have a clue. We don’t. We tell others what they should do. We confront them “for their own good,” we tell ourselves. If they would just change, everything would be find. We know it would. We get angry when they won’t comply.

Here’s the thing: Nobody owes you an explanation. They don’t. Just like you don’t owe anyone else an explanation for how you behave. None of us are perfect. And nobody has the right to tell someone else to “get over” something or to “admit” what they’ve done is wrong.

If you’re having that conversation with someone, look in the mirror. The person you need to be preaching to is yourself. If someone is having that conversation with you, realize that it isn’t about you. It’s about them and their issues.

Again, no one is perfect. If I’m confronted, I take it to God and ask Him to search me. If there’s truth in it, I ask for forgiveness and direction. If there’s no truth, I let it go.

Don’t let someone else push their issues and their opinions on you. Just don’t. Walk away. They aren’t going to hear anything you say anyway. God will take care of it. Every time.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Ask God First

“Let us bring the ark of our God back to us, for we did not inquire of it during the reign of Saul.” The whole assembly agreed to do this, because it seemed right to all the people. -- 1 Chronicles 13:3-4

It seemed like a good idea at the time. David wanted to honor God and bring the ark back to Jerusalem. He had the very best of intentions -- except he didn’t think it through. He didn’t research and plan. And he didn’t ask God for advice and direction.

We all do that sometimes. We have a wonderful idea and we’re certain that God is on board with it and will bless it and us because, well, it is to glorify Him. Except we never really ask God what He thinks. We get so caught up in what we want that we lose sight of what matters -- God‘s will.

This is particularly frustrating when people keep insisting that they know best. God wants this, they insist, refusing to listen to anyone else. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a big believer in God making a way when no way seems visible. I’ve watched Him do it again and again. But only when it’s His will -- not mine or yours.

David learned that lesson. He was convinced that bringing the Ark back to Jerusalem would only bring blessings. He never considered that having God’s Presence among them would be anything else. Until David began doing it on his own.

As David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating before the LORD, the oxen carrying the Ark stumbled. Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God to steady it. And God struck him dead.

David was afraid of the LORD that day and said, “How can the ark of the LORD ever come to me?”

-- 2 Samuel 6:9

So David sent the ark to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. And the LORD blessed him and his household.

And David learned his lesson. He eventually had the ark of God brought to Jerusalem -- by the Levites, whom God had chosen to carry the ark and minister before Him. (see 1 Chronicles 15) And everything went well. It usually does when we’re following God’s plan and His will.

Sometimes God calls us to move forward in His will and with His support. Other times God calls us to wait. His timing is perfect and if He tells us to wait, there’s a reason for it. God may want us to prepare, to research, to really know what we’re doing before we go forward in His name.

It’s easy to get a great idea to honor God and rush forward without thinking it through. It’s wiser to consult God and ask for His blessing, before attempting to do anything to glorify His name.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Worship God From Your Heart

But as the Ark of the LORD entered the City of David, Michal, daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she was filled with contempt for him. -- 2 Samuel 6:16

Times are changing in our church service. A new outreach program has brought in many new people. We are thrilled. But not everyone worships exactly the same. There’s nothing wrong with that and, indeed, many things right with it. But change can open our eyes in ways we didn’t expect.

I attend a contemporary worship service. The congregation claps and sings along with the band performing on stage. We are outspoken and committed to learning and growing in Christ. The folks in the traditional services think we’re a little bit nuts. Maybe we are.

We are also a welcoming bunch. Unlike some Deep South churches, we genuinely welcome everyone into our fold. We have homegrown folks sitting next to people from different parts of this country and a few from other countries. We’ve got white, black and brown all sitting together. We’ve got young, old and some in between. Who you were doesn’t matter. Who you are -- a child of God -- is what draws us to this time and place.

I mention all this so that you can understand we’re open to just about anything. The new folks that have joined us fit right in. They do. And we’re slowly getting used to the “Hallelujah’s” and “Praise Jesus” being yelled out at unexpected times. And, well, we’ve had dancing before Jesus before so that’s okay too. Really.

But it’s amusing to watch the more conservative among us trying not to stare at those who are worshipping a little bit differently. They don’t want to be amazed or uncomfortable but they are. And that, in turn, makes them uneasy with themselves. We want to be open to everyone but what happens when we aren’t as open as we thought we were?

One thing I’ve always loved about King David was his willingness to show his love for God. He gladly danced in the streets before His God. So what if others didn’t approve? I want to have that kind of faith. I want to be open to worship God with that kind of love and abandon.

We are so delighted to have the new folks in our midst. I pray they learn and grow in Christ and that our church family can somehow be a blessing to them. I pray also that they continue to be a blessing to us, that we learn to let go and worship God from the deepest parts of our hearts and soul, without worry of how we’ll appear but focused totally on our LORD and our Creator.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Don’t Let Bitterness Grow

Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king. -- 2 Samuel 14:23-24

Absalom had fled after he killed his brother Amnon for raping his sister Tamar. Now Absalom was back home -- but not reconciled with his father. I think perhaps Absalom would have preferred to remain in exile rather than face his father’s rejection day after day.

Coming back to a place you’ve fled -- for whatever reason -- isn’t easy. That’s especially true when you realize after you’ve arrived that nothing really has changed. Absalom had to be filled with bitterness. His father had done nothing to punish Amnon for raping Tamar. And when Absalom finally acted -- two years after the fact -- it was he who faced banishment and estrangement from their father.

Life isn’t fair. I’m sure he knew that. I doubt he accepted it. Instead, Absalom let his bitterness grow and turn toward anger and hatred at his father. He craved his father’s love and understanding. Instead, he got rejection. All those emotions had to go somewhere. Unfortunately, that somewhere ended up with David temporarily losing his throne and with Absalom losing his life.

How much better it would have been had father and son actually come together with open hearts. How much better it would have been had David punished Amnon. Or had the brothers fought about it right then. But hurts and injustices that build up over time, never being resolved or even discussed, grow in strength and bitterness. By the time David realized how much he loved his son, Absalom was dead. And then it was too late.

Few things hurt as much as injuries inflicted by family members. It seems that those closest to us, the people who should be quick to defend and protect us, have the greatest power to hurt or destroy us. Some hearts never really mend. Absalom reminds us of what happens when we can’t let go of what we cannot change.

God calls us to forgive those who harm us. Not for them. But for us. When we let go of the anger and bitterness, when we give it to God and trust Him to take care of it, we are freed to move on with our lives. The hurt becomes an old wound. Sure, the scar remains. But the heart is healed, the memories replaced by the soothing ointment of a Father who never betrays, never rejects, never lets us down. A Father who loves us. And, somehow, that is enough.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Family Hurts Go Deep

But the king said, “What do you and I have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

-- 2 Samuel 16:10

Have you ever remained silent when someone else said horrible things about you? Have you ever walked away when someone did something really cruel to you? Did you think, deep down inside, that maybe you deserved the hateful words and cruel actions?

David was fleeing from his son Absalom. He refused to allow his soldiers to deal with Shemei, who was pelting the king with rocks and yelling curses at him. David thought that perhaps God had told the man to do so. After all, David hadn’t dealt well with Absalom. He hadn’t defended his daughter when she was raped by his oldest son. And he hadn’t dealt well with Absalom, after he murdered his brother. David was a wonderful king but a not-so-wonderful father.

And he felt it deeply. So do we. Nothing hurts as badly as family squabbles. None of us are perfect, especially when it comes to family dynamics and always knowing what to do and say when. We feel our failures. We mourn our mistakes. We feel we deserve the rejection we’re dealt because maybe, just maybe, we could have done something different.

Maybe we did the best we could. Maybe the other person encouraged our mistakes. Maybe it doesn’t matter what we do, it will always be wrong. Everyone has their own special place within the family structure. Sometimes that mantle of “failure” or “disappointment” or “not real bright” falls on you. And it hurts.

“It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today.” -- 2 Samuel 16:12

God sees all things. He hears it all. He knows our hearts. He knows our mistakes and failures and He knows when we have been wronged. God works it all our in the end, defending His children and repaying the wrongs done to them. And punishing those who are wayward, seeking only to bring them back to His waiting arms.

David’s son wanted him dead. And David knew he shared at least part of the blame for that. It didn’t excuse Absalom’s actions. And it didn’t heal David’s heart. But this king turned to His God for comfort and strength and, eventually, restoration to the throne God had given to him.

When the hurt goes deep, when you wonder if maybe you deserve what you’re facing, turn to God. His arms are open wide. He offers strength and comfort and restoration to the life He planned for you all along.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Let Go Of Anger, Bitterness

Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel. -- 2 Samuel 15:6

Absalom was a very angry, very bitter man. His older brother had raped Absalom’s sister and their father didn’t do a thing about it. So Absalom took his time and, eventually, murdered his brother Amnon. That didn’t satisfy his need for vengeance. I wonder if anything would have.

It’s not that he didn’t have reason to be upset. But who did he hurt the most by staying angry for so long? Who ultimately paid when he turned his anger on his father, King David? How could Absalom really imagine he could take on God’s anointed and survive? He wasn’t thinking and that was the root of the problem.

Nothing Absalom could do would change what happened. Nothing would change David’s response. But forgiveness could change Absalom’s heart. Forgiveness would allow Absalom to move forward and have a productive life. But he just couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let it go. So he plotted to take over his father’s throne. He made another bad decision fueled by anger and bitterness he just couldn’t seem to let go.

What are you holding on to? What do you refuse to hand over to God for justice? What are you allowing to destroy your today for a tomorrow you can’t change/

Understand that giving something to God, letting it go, forgiving day-by-day, doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t wipe away the wrong. It doesn’t give the person responsible a free pass. It just means that you refuse to allow that person to control your today and your tomorrow. It means that you choose to forgive a wrong. It means that you trust God to take care of it in His own way and His own time.

Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes you have to do it again and again. And often the person responsible won’t even acknowledge the wrong, much less ask for forgiveness. Do the people committing the wrongs deserve forgiveness? Probably not. But neither do you or I deserve God’s forgiveness for our sins. We are to forgive -- and let God take care of the rest.

So let it go. Give it away. Move on. You deserve better. God will take care of it. Trust Him. He will put your enemies in their place.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Don’t Silence The Victim

Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is our brother. Don’t take this thing to heart. And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.

-- 2 Samuel 13:20

Don’t you just want to scream in frustration when someone talks down to a victim and tells her to be quiet? We mustn’t “air the dirty family laundry.” Besides, “don’t take it so seriously.” “It doesn’t mean anything” anyway. It is just so wrong!

Tamar had been raped by her half-brother. Raped. There’s nothing nice or simple about that. She should have expected outrage from her brother and her father. Instead, her father didn’t do a thing and her brother told her to just be quiet about it.

So often, people secretly blame the victim of a crime. That’s particularly true when it’s an issue such as rape, incest, child abuse or neglect. Those are particularly ugly crimes and we just don’t want to hear about them. And we certainly don’t want to believe that someone we know, someone we may even like, could do something so horrible. So we blame the victim.

Silence only perpetuates that kind of attitude and the victim’s recovery. Tamar never recovered. Two years later her brother killed her attacker. We don’t know if that made her feel better or worse. Because nothing could right the wrong and nothing could restore her rightful place as one of the king’s virgin daughters.

Nothing except the grace of God. I am reminded of a statement a family member made after Elizabeth Smart’s return. This young woman was horribly raped and held captive and yet she was as white, as clean and pure as if it had never happened. God doesn’t blame the victim. So why do we?

Because some crimes are just so ugly to think about that we‘d prefer to hide them in a closet and pretend they never happen. It’s why child abuse doesn’t happen in “good” families. Of course it does. We just look the other way. Same with incest or drug abuse or any number of other crimes.

It scares us to think that someone we know, maybe someone we socialize with, could actually beat the crap out of his spouse. We are horrified to think that our children might be playing with a child being sexually abused night after night. We think that if we pretend it never happens, or it’s the victims’ fault, then we don’t have to dirty up our own little world.

I wonder what would have happened if King David had actually punished his son for raping Tamar? I wonder how life would have changed if Absalom had told his sister she had nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to hide? I wonder what would happen? I wonder how things would change if we stopped protecting the abuser and blaming the victim?

Friday, October 21, 2011

God Restores Us

Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” -- 2 Samuel 9:8

Mephibosheth was Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson. David finally had it all. His kingdom. His palace. Riches. Fame. But he was lonely. He missed his best friend. So he found Jonathan’s son.

This son was crippled in both feet. Back then physical imperfections were a cause for humiliation. Scorn even. We still see that around us, don’t we? We look down on people who don’t fit our idea of normal. We think less of them, like maybe they’re not as smart, not as capable, not as worthy as we are.

Mephibosheth didn’t have any prospects for a good life. He was a prince’s son but his father, grandfather and uncles had been killed. Murdered. And now David sat on their throne. God’s anointed. God’s chosen one. What could David possibly want with a broken man?

Sometimes I know a little about how he must have felt. I wonder what God could possibly want with someone like me? Broken. Not reaching society’s normal levels of acceptance and value. Constantly being kicked down for valuing things the world scorns.

David wasn’t interested in how others saw Mephibosheth. The king saw his friend’s son and he was determined to show him kindness and restore his fortune. “Don’t be afraid,” David told Mephibosheth. David restored Saul’s lands to his grandson and he invited Mephibosheth to eat at the King’s table for the rest of his life. Certainly, not what Mephibosheth was expecting when David summoned him to the palace.

Beth Moore, who loves language and words, tells us that Mephibosheth means “shame destroyer” or “image breaker.” David took away Mephibosheth’s shame and restored him. Can you imagine how astonished those around him felt when they saw King David show kindness to someone they had rejected?

That’s how God shows kindness to us. He lifts us up and restores us, no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done. He loves us and invites us to His table. It’s not so much about being worthy as it is about being loved. God loves us. He calls us His. He restores us to His kingdom, no matter our sin and no matter our shame.

We are all sinners. We have all fallen short of the Glory of God. We are all unworthy. We are all less than what He meant for us to be. And, yet, He has shown us kindness and love. He has offered forgiveness and the blood of His Son. He restores those who come to Him, who reach out to Him, who kneel down before Him and call Him LORD.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Never Give Up On Anyone

But the godless are like thorns to be thrown away, for they tear the hand that touches them. -- 2 Samuel 23:6

Can someone who is always badmouthing someone else know Jesus? Can someone who tells lies about others on a regular basis really be saved? Can someone filled with jealousy and rage truly be a Christian? I don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong. Christians -- those who have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior -- are forgiven. And we are all sinners. No matter how long we’ve been Christians, we all mess up. We all backslide. We all do really bad things we wish we could take back. It’s part of being human.

But what about those people who don’t ever seem to have a heart-change? What about the people who just always seem so negative and out to get those around them? And it goes on for week after week, month after month, year after year. Can someone like that really be filled with the Holy Spirit? Shouldn’t those on the outside be able to see evidence of it at some point?

I never quite know how to deal with people who tell me they’re Christians but who behave like they aren’t. I want to think the best of people. Really, I do. But sometimes I wonder if I’m taking the easy road. Because it is easier to walk away, to pretend that everything is okay, to not question out loud what I’m questioning in my heart.

I know that some people who claim to be Christians really aren’t. I know that others who have memorized all the answers in a lifetime in church, really don’t have a clue about true salvation. It’s not a pop quiz they can pass or fail. It’s something that happens in your heart, deep in your soul, when you come to believe and to fully understand what Jesus did for you.

So I go back to my original questions: Can someone truly invite Jesus into his/her heart and not reveal an outward sign of that change? I don’t think so. But I don’t know. What do you think?

I’ve pretty much decided to let it go. The Bible tells us that God knows our hearts. So He knows. I don’t need to know. I might want to know but I don’t need to know. My responsibility is to talk with everyone about Jesus. And to pray that He will open the hearts that need opening.

I can’t give up on anyone. I just can’t. No matter how negative they are. No matter how mean spirited and hateful. I have to keep trying to show them the love that God has shown to me. There are plenty of times God should have given up on me. But He didn’t. So how

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Value Your Friendships

How I weep for you, my brother Jonathan! Oh, how much I loved you! -- 2 Samuel 1:26a

Have you ever tragically lost a close friend? I hope you answered no because I truly wouldn’t wish that kind of grief on anyone.

David was king. God had finally freed him from the reaches of Saul. But the battle that took Saul’s life also claimed the lives of his three sons. One of those sons was David’s best friend Jonathan.

Good friends can be hard to find. This friendship was strange, at best. Think about it. David was a shepherd whom God had anointed as Israel’s next king. Jonathan was the crown prince, destined to be the next king until David arrived on the scene. Yet their fierce loyalty to one another withstood Jonathan’s father and David’s fear. Some time later David would seek out Jonathan’s family and find that one son, Mephibosheth, had survived. He took care of him -- just as he’d once promised Jonathan he would do. A friendship that survived death.

Because that’s what deep friendships do. Many years ago my best friend died suddenly of a blood clot exactly three weeks after he’d had a heart attack. There was no warning. Nothing. He’d survived the heart attack. He’d had open heart surgery the next day and was back at his sister’s recovering by the end of the week.

The last conversation I had with him was about rescheduling a trip we’d planned to Sedona, Arizona. I’d been forced to postpone it when he got sick. He wanted to go ahead and reschedule and I wanted to wait until the doctor released him. I wanted to make sure he was okay to drive in the snow because driving in the snow scares me. Sounds silly now. Neither of us had any idea that we’d never speak again on this side of heaven.

Beth Moore tells the store of losing her best friend when they were in high school. The young woman had stopped by Beth’s house to get her to go out to eat. Beth’s family was preparing to leave town and her parents said no. Thirty minutes later sirens permeated the air. All these years later and Beth says she still sometimes visits her grave. That’s friendship. Time eases the pain but it doesn’t dull the loss.

The lesson seems almost too simple. Value the people you treasure most. Tell them how you feel. Let them know that they are special to you. Your family, of course, usually comes to mind. But remember your friends too. My best friend knew I loved him. He knew the special place he had in my heart. I clung to that in the days and weeks that followed. Because deep, true friendship doesn’t die with death.

　

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Pour God’s Blessings Out

So the Three broke through the Philistine lines, drew some water from the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it. Instead, he poured it out before the LORD.

-- 2 Samuel 23:16

The Three were King David’s top fighting men. They risked their lives to get David water from a well but he refused to drink it. David viewed it as too precious to drink so he gave it to God.

What have you given to God today? No, I’m not talking about money. What have you given of yourself? Think about it. Have you sacrificed anything for God today? Have you gone out of your way for Him today? Have you blessed someone else with a blessing God gave to you?

I know some people are feeling real smug about now. They got up early -- sacrificing sleep -- and went to church -- giving God their time. They may have even put some money in the offering plate. Well, they’re thinking, “I did a lot for God today.”

Not so fast. We attend church to worship God. It’s not a sacrifice. It’s a privilege. And giving money, well, that’s just part of being a child of God. We’re giving back a portion of what He has given us.

So, let’s move on. What have you done for God today? Did you visit an elderly shut-in this afternoon? Did you anonymously give a single mother a gift card to take her kids out to eat? Did you offer to help at the coffee station at church? Did you pass out bulletins? Did you encourage someone who’s going through a rough patch?

Each of us has skills and talents that we use to further ourselves. We use those skills at work. We use them during our leisure time. But do you use them for God? Do you take those skills -- blessings from God -- and use them for His Glory?

There are some wonderful people who work the sound equipment each Sunday at church. They don’t get praises and recognition. They’re mostly hidden away in the back. Yet, the music wouldn’t sound so good if they weren’t using their skills to operate the equipment.

There are people who keep the children in the nursery. There are people who make coffee. There are people who drive the van to pick up people and bring them to church and then take them home. Some people teach. Some people clean. Some people count. Some people organize. Many different needs, many different opportunities. There’s a place for everyone to contribute, no matter their skills or talents.

A funny thing happens when you start giving back some of what God has given you. Church doesn’t become a chore. It becomes a joy. As we give to others, our happiness and contentment increase. When we don’t, when we hold those gifts close and don’t share them, we become bitter and angry.

So give a little of yourself to God today. Pour yourself out before God and watch Him multiply your blessings.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Stay Focused On God’s Will

Then Absalom would say, “You’ve really got a strong case here! It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it. I wish I were the judge. Then people could bring their problems to me, and I would give them justice!”

-- 2 Samuel 15:3-4

Absalom had already killed his brother. King David forgave his son and allowed him to return home. But Absalom just couldn’t let go of his bitterness and anger at his father. So Absalom decided to turn the people away from David and gain support for his plan to take the throne away from him.

Absalom couldn’t see beyond his own selfish desires and his father couldn’t or wouldn’t get his son under control. It was a bad situation that could only end with Absalom’s death. David was God’s anointed. Absalom was going to get rid of him.

Maybe David couldn’t have changed the outcome. Some people are determined to have what someone else has. Some people are determined to blame others for their own issues.

Years ago I worked for a marketing company. I traveled quite a bit but I wasn’t in charge. I liked it that way. I’d burned out in a high-pressured position at another company and I just wanted and needed a breather. I was pretty clear about that. Still, the company kept giving me more responsibility and pushing me to accept a higher position.

One of my co-workers took that quite personally. She had a Masters degree in film and dreamed of, well, I don’t really know. But something more than what she was. She decided I was a threat to her dream and she did everything she could to turn others against me. It didn’t work. She didn’t fool anyone and only hurt herself. It was just so silly and so sad.

King Jeroboam was very angry with the man of God for speaking against the altar. So he pointed at the man and shouted, “Seize that man!” But instantly the king’s hand became paralyzed in that position, and he couldn’t pull it back.” -- 1 Kings 13:4

Just like with my co-worker, people who try to harm others frequently have the situation turn against them. I’ve learned a lot about trusting God in those times. If God calls you to do something, no one can undermine or threaten you no matter how hard they try. God is in charge. Of course, the opposite is true as well. You will do what God calls you to do, whether you want to or not. You can ask Jonah about that.

So don’t worry about it when someone tries to turn your life upside-down. If you’re doing what God wants you to do, they don’t stand a chance.
　

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Show Kindness

The king then asked him, Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them in any way I can.”

-- 2 Samuel 9:3a

David had every reason to hate Saul and his family. But just as David refused to harm Saul, David also wanted to reach out to any of the late king’s family. He was led to Jonathan’s son.

How that must have pleased David’s heart. Saul had seen David as his enemy but Saul’s son, Jonathan, had been David’s closest friend. It seems fitting that David would care for Mephibosheth, just as Jonathan had cared for and protected David.

That isn’t always how it works. People blame the entire family when one person does something wrong. It’s why the spouse and children of someone who goes to prison pay such a heavy price. Or the parents of a wayward child. Or the employees of a company that does something wrong. We use a large brush and paint everyone guilty, even when there is no evidence to do so.

The same thing happens when one person in a family is an alcoholic. Everyone assumes the kids will grow up to be alcoholics as well. It might happen. But it might not. And sometimes assumptions lead someone to live down to what people expect. That’s just so sad.

A wonderful and successful man I know has faced this his entire life. His father was an alcoholic who frequented the city jail. Everyone expected the son would follow the father. But he hasn’t. Some people still expect him to stumble one day. They’ll never truly believe he’s anything different from what his father was.

Assumptions start early. I once tutored a little first grader. She was having trouble learning to read. Some kids do. She faced two major problems: her older brother was incredibly smart and her parents didn’t read well enough to help her. She was six years old and already assumed she was dumb. It broke my heart. She was smart. She just needed a little extra help, the kind of help most kids get at home.

It’s too bad we can’t all be like David. It would be wonderful if we reached out to the family of those who have made mistakes. It would be awesome if we could show kindness to those who have been

Saturday, August 6, 2011

God Turns Bad To Good

David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. -- 2 Samuel 12:16

David wanted his child to live. He understood God’s anger. David realized -- after the prophet Nathan pointed it out -- that he had sinned greatly. David had desired Uriah’s wife and had taken her. When Bathsheba became pregnant, David had Uriah sent to the frontline of the battle so that he would be killed. Adultery and murder. No amount of repentance would change the consequences of David’s actions.

Isn’t that how it is with us sometimes? We do something we know is wrong but we can’t seem to help ourselves. We repent. We regret what we did. We want It to all go away. We ask God to forgive us, and He does. But the consequences of our actions remain. Sometimes those consequences seem unbearable.

David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the LORD will be gracious to me and let the child live.’

-- 2 Samuel 12:22

God decided that David’s punishment would be the death of the child he and Bathsheba had conceived in sin. David begged God to change His mind. The consequences seemed so great and David cried out in anguish to his loving Father. God would not relent and the child died.

We do the same when we are faced with horrible consequences. We beg God to change the outcome. We’re sorry. We won’t do it again. We just don’t want to suffer. We don’t want others to suffer. We want it to all to go away. But sin comes with consequences. One more reason to thank Jesus for taking our sins upon Himself and saving us from certain death.

“But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.” -- 2 Samuel 12:23

After the child died, David stopped begging God to change His mind. It was too late for that. David’s advisors didn’t understand why their king, who had mourned greatly for his child before he died, would cast off his mourning now that the child had died. David understood that God would not undo what He had already done. David’s child was dead. So David moved forward to comfort his wife and come to terms with his child’s death.

Isn’t that all we can ever do when the consequences of our sin molds itself around us with an unwavering truth? Those consequences don’t leave us. Yes, God has forgiven our sin but we live with the results. We can either stay mired in the misery of our guilt or cast it off and move forward with God’s grace and forgiveness.

Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife, and slept with her. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved the child and sent word through Nathan the prophet that his name should be Jeddah -- “beloved of the LORD” -- because the LORD loved him. -- 2 Samuel 12:24-25

God assures us that no matter what has happened, no matter what we have done, He will turn it to good if we’ll turn back to Him and sin no more. Good from bad. That’s the promise God has made. In David’s case, the next son born to he and Bathsheba would become a great and wise king.

God can turn your sin to good as well. Do you trust Him to do that? Have you handed yourself over to Him, to be remade and reworked into something glorious? God can do miracles with the messes we’ve made. Hand your mess over to Him and watch God show you His glory.　

　

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Seek God‘s Will Above All

“So I killed him,” the Amalekite told David, “for I knew he couldn’t live. Then I took his crown and one of his bracelets so I could bring them to you, my lord.” -- 2 Samuel 1:10

Don’t you just love it when someone does something “for you” that benefits them? The Amalekite was confident that taking news of Saul’s death to David would earn him a reward. After all, Saul’s death meant David was king. Finally. He obviously didn’t know David.

This man had waited years and years to become king. He had refused again and again to kill Saul, even though he’d had easy opportunities. The Amalekite misread the situation and it cost him his life.

We all have encountered people who are determined to do something good for us but that will really benefit them. A woman I know invited me to go on a trip with her. She had it all planned out. I’d pay half the expenses and we’d do exactly what she wanted to do. Plus, I’d get to drive. I was so lucky to have this opportunity. Really. She told me that. I just said no. Nicely. She still got mad.

These days I’ve got a pretty sharp radar going when people start telling me what I would like and what I’m going to do. I get really upset when someone tells me what kind of hairstyle I need, where I need to live and what I need to do in my life. Excuse me? Only God gets to tell me what I need to do or what I should do.

And He does. Regularly. And I try to always listen. I mess up now and again but I do try. I don’t listen too much to what other people say. They usually have an agenda. And sometimes that agenda goes against what God has told me to do.

That’s the key. What does God want me to do? What does God want you to do? God doesn’t just show up in the big moments. He’s there in the smaller moments as well. So ask Him if you should make that trip or that move. What does God think about your buying a new car or even getting a new hairstyle? He wants us to invite Him into the small moments of our lives. It draws us closer to Him so that when the big moments come, we already know He’s there.

　

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wait For God

David was thirty years old when he became king, and he reigned forty years. In Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months, and in Jerusalem he reigned over all Israel and Judah thirty-three years. -- 2 Samuel 5:4-5

The dictionary defines patience as the calm endurance of hardship or annoyance or inconvenience or delay. Patience also means perseverance, according to the same dictionary. The Bible lists patience as a Fruit of the Spirit. I list patience as something I crave but have never really tasted.

Samuel secretly anointed David king over all Israel when David was just a boy. God led His prophet to Jesse and his sons. God rejected them all -- until the youngest boy was brought in from tending the sheep. God chose David to lead His people and Samuel anointed David.

But David didn’t get a crown and great power that day. Or the next. Or the next. Years passed before David realized God’s promise to him. Those years tested David in ways he could never have imagined as King Saul tried again and again to kill David. Yet David refused to take matters into his own hands and end Saul’s reign. David trusted God. I want to have that kind of trust.

I’m one of those people who want it now. What about you? I’m not good at waiting. I know this about myself and I do work on it -- every single day. I do okay when I’ve got a roadmap of sorts. If I know the steps I must take, then I can handle it. Not easily but I can do it.

Many years ago I went through a season of troubles. It seemed that every time one thing got sorted out, another knocked me down. Despair was about to overwhelm me when one night I had a dream. The dream outlined everything I still had to go through but also promised that an end was in sight. Everything that I dreamed came to pass but as I sat in my broken down car on the side of the freeway, I felt peace rather than anguish. I’ve thanked God many times for sending me a roadmap and, thus, giving me hope.

So often we get impatient on life’s road. We want to see results and if God isn’t acting as quickly as we’d like, then we tend to just take care of matters on our own. That’s a big mistake. Think about Abraham and all the trouble Sara caused because she didn’t believe God would bless her with a child in her old age.

God’s timing is perfect but it frequently doesn’t seem that way to us. We live in a world of instant gratification. Patience is hard. Trusting God to take care of us, to provide for us, to bless us, in His own time and place is difficult. But, oh, the blessings that we’ll receive if we just take a deep breath and wait for God.

　

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Talk About Disagreements

"Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar." -- 2 Samuel 13:22

Talk about a royal mess! Brother against brother. And neither would work it out face-to-face. No. That would be too easy. Best to fume in silence than to confront in anger.

Don't get me wrong. Absalom had every right to be furious. Amnon, his half-brother, had raped Tamar, Absalom's sister. Of course, Amnon refused responsibility. He had to have Tamar. Then when he took her by force, he decided he hated her. Castration comes to mind, but that's a personal opinion.

Absalom had something else in mind. Instead of confronting Amnon, Absalom bided his time. Eventually, he killed his brother. Yeah. That's right. He killed him. That's called making a bad situation worse. King David certainly had his hands full with his boys.

But isn't that what so many families do? Rather than face our disagreements openly, we try to either avoid each other or make nice just to keep the peace. The anger and resentment builds until it finally explodes, tearing the family apart.

In any family there are squabbles and jealousy. We aren't as compatible as we might like, bringing many different personalities and quirks to each family gathering. We are bound by blood or by choice. But we are bound, just the same.

We know that David's family was destined to turmoil as punishment for his relationship with Bathsheba. We don't have to face the same fate. We can choose a different way. It's amazing what talking can accomplish. We don't have to interpret or anticipate reactions. We can simply talk. Even if anger emerges, at least it's in the open rather than hidden in the shadows.

No one's family is perfect. We will always fuss and, hopefully, makeup. Family is family. A gift, no matter how it's wrapped.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Rejoice in God's Presence

"And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart." -- 2 Samuel 6:16b

I have to chuckle when I read this Bible verse. Saul's daughter Michal, who also was David's wife, would have fit right in with some of our conservative Southern churches.

People who attend these churches face a rigid set of unwritten, manmade rules. Failure to follow said rules will result in heavy frowns, ostracism and, in some cases, "advice" from the preacher, deacons or other church leaders. It is so ridiculous that it would be comical if it wasn't so sad.

I can assure you that dancing in one of these conservative churches is not allowed. Neither is clapping along with the music. Attendees are to remain solemn though an occasional chuckle is allowed if the preacher tells a joke. That is rare.

Some don't see this as a bad thing. Quite a few naps are taken during the service. This works fine as long as one spouse stays awake to keep the other from snoring and disrupting services. This person is also in charge of waking the other person when it's time to stand at the end of the sermon.

The dress code is fairly rigid. Men should wear coats and ties. Women should wear conservative dresses, complete with hose and heels. Older women tend to scandalize the preacher with their pantsuits. Personally, I think anyone who is critical -- and this person is almost always a man -- should be forced to put on and wear panty hose when he is 80.

To my knowledge, God never told His children to dress a specific way before they worshipped Him. He did instruct the priests who attended Him in the Tabernacle how to dress but not the rest of us. I've often said that God cares more about our hearts than about whether we're wearing jeans or a fancy dress.

I also find it fascinating that David -- a man God chose to be king over His people -- danced and celebrated God. Who in the world ever decided that we could only worship God with a certain, conservative style? I love to see children dancing along with the music. When people clap or lift their hands in praise, I believe God smiles as He watches His children rejoice at His presence.

God expects us to honor Him and show Him respect. How much more can we do so when we celebrate God with love that comes from the heart rather than restrictions that come from man.