Saturday, May 8, 2010

Talk About Disagreements

"Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar." -- 2 Samuel 13:22

Talk about a royal mess! Brother against brother. And neither would work it out face-to-face. No. That would be too easy. Best to fume in silence than to confront in anger.

Don't get me wrong. Absalom had every right to be furious. Amnon, his half-brother, had raped Tamar, Absalom's sister. Of course, Amnon refused responsibility. He had to have Tamar. Then when he took her by force, he decided he hated her. Castration comes to mind, but that's a personal opinion.

Absalom had something else in mind. Instead of confronting Amnon, Absalom bided his time. Eventually, he killed his brother. Yeah. That's right. He killed him. That's called making a bad situation worse. King David certainly had his hands full with his boys.

But isn't that what so many families do? Rather than face our disagreements openly, we try to either avoid each other or make nice just to keep the peace. The anger and resentment builds until it finally explodes, tearing the family apart.

In any family there are squabbles and jealousy. We aren't as compatible as we might like, bringing many different personalities and quirks to each family gathering. We are bound by blood or by choice. But we are bound, just the same.

We know that David's family was destined to turmoil as punishment for his relationship with Bathsheba. We don't have to face the same fate. We can choose a different way. It's amazing what talking can accomplish. We don't have to interpret or anticipate reactions. We can simply talk. Even if anger emerges, at least it's in the open rather than hidden in the shadows.

No one's family is perfect. We will always fuss and, hopefully, makeup. Family is family. A gift, no matter how it's wrapped.