September 9, 2018

Let It Go

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. – Ephesians 4:30-31

She is a pleasant woman. She smiles brightly but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She says all the right things but there’s an underlying bite to her words. Her life doesn’t quite match the façade she tries to keep up.

Her mother died a few years ago. It was awful. A medicine used to treat one ailment caused another and she didn’t survive. Now this daughter is consumed with rage at God. Bitterness dots her every move. She refuses all suggestions for grief counseling. Anger and unhappiness are destroying her life.

This is not what her mother would have wanted. I knew her well enough to know her deep faith in God was unshakeable. She would be horrified that her daughter remains so angry at God for taking her home. Her heart would be broken as she watched the daughter she loved shove everyone away.

This woman’s anger and bitterness is extreme. Most of us will thankfully never reach that point. It doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes let anger and bitterness direct our steps. You don’t think it applies to you? Think again. Every time you want to retaliate against someone, whether it’s another driver who cut you off in traffic or a co-worker who stole your idea, you are letting evil emotions control your actions.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those who would harm us. I know. It’s easy to say but not so easy to do. It’s hard to swallow the rebuttal that rises up when someone harms us. It’s difficult to show mercy when someone has done something awful to us.

How much more so when we think God is the culprit? How sad that the One who can heal and sustain us is the One who bears the brunt of our heartache. This sweet woman – who was indeed a sweet soul before her mother’s death – needs Jesus to heal her. But she won’t let Him in.

What about you? Do you let Jesus come close to you? Do you share with Him the parts of you that hurt the most? Do you tell Him your disappointments? Do you let Him heal you from the inside out?

He knows about betrayal. He knows about bearing the cost of the sins of others. He knows about lies and greed and a heartache that goes deep into your soul. He gets it. We forget that sometimes.

I don’t know what will happen to this woman.  She is self-destructing before the eyes of those who love her most. No one can force her to get help. No one can make her let go of her rage and bitterness. Jesus is the only One who can heal her and she won’t let Him.

What do you need Jesus to heal you from today? Don’t wait. Don’t give Satan that foothold on your heart. Hand it over to the One who loves you most. Let it go and move on.

May 15, 2018

Let It Go

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

– Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness makes an awful companion. It will cloud your thinking, harden your heart, give the devil a foothold into a life dedicated to God.

The dictionary defines bitterness as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. It is also resentment. It is a small kernel that, if not dealt with, will grow into an all-consuming thing that directs the paths of our lives to a place we never intended to go.

In the Christian faith, we talk a lot about forgiveness. We forgive not because the other person deserves it but because God forgives us. We forgive because of what Jesus did for us, dying a cruel, merciless death, so that we would be washed white by His blood.

We don’t deserve mercy. None of us deserve forgiveness. But it’s what God gives us anyway when we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. That kind of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? When we complain about the sins of others, about the unfairness of it all, we are condemning ourselves.

I can do all things through Christ. That’s what the Bible tells me. But I am prone to give it to God, then take it back again and again. How about you? Every time we replay the offense over in our minds, we are filling our hearts with anger and bitterness yet again.

Don’t sin in your anger. That’s another jewel from the Bible. Anger causes us to be people of hate rather than people who reflect God’s love to the world. We can’t get past old wounds because we’re too focused on the very real hurt.

Forgiveness doesn’t make it all okay. Nor does forgiveness mean you should always invite those people back into your life. It took me a while to understand that. Some people simply aren’t safe to be around. One of those Pinterest posts reminds us that if God removes someone from your life, don’t chase after them. God did it for a reason.

Letting go can be hard. We want to defend ourselves. We want revenge. We want that lost dream restored. Walk away. Cleanse your soul of the filth that situation caused and move forward toward God’s calling.

Bitterness will only destroy you and cause you to sin repeatedly against God. Let it go. You are called to walk in freedom from the sins of the past. That happens one step at a time.

February 21, 2018

Get Rid of the Anger

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. – Colossians 3:8

What is your button? What instantly makes you angry? What do you have trouble shaking off, putting aside, letting go and moving on from?

We all have something. It could be a snide comment from someone. It could be an unfair judgement from a person who has no business even concerning themselves with your situation. It could be reminders of leftover anger from situations long ago.

Most anger is normal. Contrary to what some believe, anger alone isn’t a sin. The sin comes when we harbor bitterness and chronic anger. Then it overtakes us and consumes us in ways that aren’t healthy for us and lead us to sin in other ways.

Anger and resentment can’t coincide with forgiveness. We are to forgive others because God has forgiven us. It has nothing to do with worthiness. None of us are worthy of forgiveness. It is about grace and mercy.

Forgiveness also isn’t about the other person repenting and asking for forgiveness. We can’t control what other people do or don’t do. We can’t control what they say about us or how they feel about us. We can control how we react. We can forgive and walk away.

Chronic anger is a result of deep hurt. That’s what our pastor said last Sunday. There’s so much truth in that. We lash out at others. We allow jealousy and anger to take control. We sin, then use our own anger in a vain attempt to justify our sin. It’s a vicious cycle and everyone gets hurt in the end.

Some people try to put salve on their wounds by attempting to control everyone and everything around them. They want to be in charge, no matter the cost. And make no mistake, the cost is great. No one wants to be controlled by others. While they might go along for a time, eventually that will erupt into something awful. We can’t run other people’s lives. It’s that simple and that complicated.

We must exercise self-control over our own lives. We need to get rid of the anger and resentment and jealousies that consume us. It doesn’t feel natural, does it? Don’t we have a right to rise up against those who have harmed us? Not according to the Bible. God is the One who takes care of revenge when His children are harmed. We’re to forgive and move on.

How can we possibly get past it all? By giving it to God. Again and again, I might add. God sees your struggle. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to heal you and allow you to move past the ugliness in your heart. Let go of the anger and bitterness and allow God’s peace to fill your heart.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Don’t Let Bitterness Grow

Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king. -- 2 Samuel 14:23-24

Absalom had fled after he killed his brother Amnon for raping his sister Tamar. Now Absalom was back home -- but not reconciled with his father. I think perhaps Absalom would have preferred to remain in exile rather than face his father’s rejection day after day.

Coming back to a place you’ve fled -- for whatever reason -- isn’t easy. That’s especially true when you realize after you’ve arrived that nothing really has changed. Absalom had to be filled with bitterness. His father had done nothing to punish Amnon for raping Tamar. And when Absalom finally acted -- two years after the fact -- it was he who faced banishment and estrangement from their father.

Life isn’t fair. I’m sure he knew that. I doubt he accepted it. Instead, Absalom let his bitterness grow and turn toward anger and hatred at his father. He craved his father’s love and understanding. Instead, he got rejection. All those emotions had to go somewhere. Unfortunately, that somewhere ended up with David temporarily losing his throne and with Absalom losing his life.

How much better it would have been had father and son actually come together with open hearts. How much better it would have been had David punished Amnon. Or had the brothers fought about it right then. But hurts and injustices that build up over time, never being resolved or even discussed, grow in strength and bitterness. By the time David realized how much he loved his son, Absalom was dead. And then it was too late.

Few things hurt as much as injuries inflicted by family members. It seems that those closest to us, the people who should be quick to defend and protect us, have the greatest power to hurt or destroy us. Some hearts never really mend. Absalom reminds us of what happens when we can’t let go of what we cannot change.

God calls us to forgive those who harm us. Not for them. But for us. When we let go of the anger and bitterness, when we give it to God and trust Him to take care of it, we are freed to move on with our lives. The hurt becomes an old wound. Sure, the scar remains. But the heart is healed, the memories replaced by the soothing ointment of a Father who never betrays, never rejects, never lets us down. A Father who loves us. And, somehow, that is enough.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Let Go Of Anger, Bitterness

Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel. -- 2 Samuel 15:6

Absalom was a very angry, very bitter man. His older brother had raped Absalom’s sister and their father didn’t do a thing about it. So Absalom took his time and, eventually, murdered his brother Amnon. That didn’t satisfy his need for vengeance. I wonder if anything would have.

It’s not that he didn’t have reason to be upset. But who did he hurt the most by staying angry for so long? Who ultimately paid when he turned his anger on his father, King David? How could Absalom really imagine he could take on God’s anointed and survive? He wasn’t thinking and that was the root of the problem.

Nothing Absalom could do would change what happened. Nothing would change David’s response. But forgiveness could change Absalom’s heart. Forgiveness would allow Absalom to move forward and have a productive life. But he just couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let it go. So he plotted to take over his father’s throne. He made another bad decision fueled by anger and bitterness he just couldn’t seem to let go.

What are you holding on to? What do you refuse to hand over to God for justice? What are you allowing to destroy your today for a tomorrow you can’t change/

Understand that giving something to God, letting it go, forgiving day-by-day, doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t wipe away the wrong. It doesn’t give the person responsible a free pass. It just means that you refuse to allow that person to control your today and your tomorrow. It means that you choose to forgive a wrong. It means that you trust God to take care of it in His own way and His own time.

Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes you have to do it again and again. And often the person responsible won’t even acknowledge the wrong, much less ask for forgiveness. Do the people committing the wrongs deserve forgiveness? Probably not. But neither do you or I deserve God’s forgiveness for our sins. We are to forgive -- and let God take care of the rest.

So let it go. Give it away. Move on. You deserve better. God will take care of it. Trust Him. He will put your enemies in their place.