Sunday, September 4, 2011

Careless Words Hurt

“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -- Matthew 12:36-37

People are so insensitive sometimes. All of us can come up with comments and opinions that just hurt. It’s really not okay to criticize and judge people who are sick. Really. It isn’t.

My cousin was in tears. Her husband is really sick and while some days are better others, only a miracle will turn his health around. Someone asked about him, then preceded to tell her that her sweet husband had brought it on himself by smoking all those years. That sure helped, didn’t it?

Maybe that did cause his illness. Or it could have been the asbestos or the sawdust or many other things. The doctors don’t know. Why would this person think she knows? And why would she say something so mean? The cause doesn’t change anything at this point. He’s tethered to a breathing machine and so weak he rarely leaves his home.

I think sometimes people simply want to assure themselves that they won’t get sick. They believe that you can’t have lung problems unless you smoke. That’s not true, by the way. I know two people who died with lung cancer and neither had ever smoked.

But that’s not the point. We should strive to be kind to all people, but especially those who are sick or are caregivers of someone who is really sick. They suffer so much worry. Their burdens never seem to end. They need support and love, hugs and casseroles. Not criticism or careless words of blame.

Other times people just don’t know what to say so they say what they shouldn’t to fill the void. “I’m so sorry he’s sick,” is a wonderful comment. Hugs are great. “I’m praying for you,” matters so much. Just knowing that other people care helps.

Next time you’re tempted to judge someone who is sick, don’t. Next time you’re tempted to blame someone who is sick, don’t. Say something kind or keep your mouth shut. Careless words hurt deeply. Pay attention to what you say.