March 8, 2018

True Friends Are Like Gold

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? – Proverbs 20:6 (NLT)

Many a person proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? -- Proverbs 20:6 (ESV)

How many friends do you have? Are you sure about that? Are they truly friends or merely acquaintances? Are they people you can count on in a crisis or are they people who only show up for the party?

I know. We don’t like to think about it, do we? We get so enamored by all the people we “know” that we allow ourselves to believe a warped perspective of it all.

I’m not bashing your friends. I’m also not bashing my friends. I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine by the people God has placed in my life.

However, I have learned something really important, something really basic, when it comes to friendship. It’s this: It doesn’t matter how wonderful someone is to your face. What matters is what they do and say, or don’t do and say, when you aren’t with them.

It’s not something we like to think about. We don’t want to consider what people say about us when we aren’t there. Do they defend us against unjust criticism? Do they voice their own negative views about us? Do they talk about us with others? Do they tell confidences, assuming we’ll never know?

Life is hard sometimes. What makes it harder is finding out that someone you trusted was someone who never really had your back. The betrayal stings. No amount of excuses ever quite erases the aftermath.

There’s a flip side to that, of course. What happens when you’re on the other side? Are you quick to defend your friends or do you remain silent when someone says something ugly about them? Do you join in the criticisms or do you speak up and walk away?

I’m sure none of us ever consider that we’re gossiping. We probably don’t think that sharing is the same as breaking a confidence. It is.

Here’s something else to consider: If someone is telling you something about someone else, what do you think that person is telling others about you? Do you believe your “friendship” makes you immune to the ugliness? It doesn’t. People who think it’s okay to bash one person usually don’t think anything about bashing others as well.

As I said earlier, I am blessed by the people God has brought into my life. I have been prayed for and carried when I didn’t think I could survive another day. I have wonderful people who laugh with me and teach me and check on me regularly.

And then there are those who ask all the right questions but for all the wrong reasons. Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you felt that sting of betrayal before?

I really don’t care so much anymore about how nice someone is to my face. I take it for what it is: A pleasant relationship. But friendship? That’s something way more. Friends are those who defend me behind my back and keep my confidences. They are more valuable than gold. And I treasure them beyond anything. I sure hope you are blessed to have true friends in your life. There’s nothing quite like them. Nothing at all.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

We All Betray Jesus

Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. -- Luke 22:3-4

Why does betrayal from a friend, a family member, someone loved and trusted, cut so deeply and hurt so badly? There’s something horrible about trusting someone, by allowing them to know your heart, and then having that person turn on you in the worst way.

Jesus knew Judas would betray Him. He knew. And still the Son of Man didn’t lash out at His betrayer. He didn’t badmouth Judas or encourage others to avoid him. He let the truth do to Judas what the truth would do to him. Judas accepted money to betray Jesus and the guilt drove him to suicide.

We look down on Judas. How could he do such a thing? And yet we do it everyday. Yes. That’s right. You and me. We betray Jesus every single day. We really are no better than Judas because we are willing to cast Jesus aside to earn more money, to have more things, to sit mindlessly in front of the television.

We betray Jesus every time we condemn a homeless person. We betray Jesus every time we look down on someone because of their skin color, their accent, or their address. We betray Jesus every time we refuse to see someone who is hurting, someone who is sick, someone who just needs a friend.

We don’t think ourselves as betraying Jesus when we do those things. In fact, we aren’t thinking of Jesus at all. We consider Jesus when we want something from Him. We maybe feel a little guilty when the pastor reminds us to give to the mercy fund or volunteer at an outreach event. But mostly we just go our own way and do our own thing. If we feel like helping others, we do. And if we don’t feel like it, we don’t.

What much did it take for Jesus to prove how much He loves us? How much did it cost for God’s Son to show us how to live our lives? And still we don’t get it. Still we live focused on ourselves and not on others. Still we betray Jesus day after day.

During this season of darkness and light, let us also remember our own guilt and betrayal. Because it is in the remembering that we learn how to walk with Jesus day by day, showing His love, compassion and kindness to all of God’s people.