Are You Playing God?
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. -- Proverbs 14:12
“I can handle it.” He’s thrown that statement at me too many times to count. So imagine my surprise when Pastor Rob used those very words in an illustration of someone who is trying to play God.
Oh, wow. That was such a God-speaking moment. But, you know, it fits. I’ve often viewed his pride and arrogance as frustrations. I’ve never quite thought about those qualities as coming from someone trying to control everything around them.
Pastor Rob told us that the more insecure a person is the more he wants to control others and their lives as well. I see that so clearly now. One of my greatest frustrations is his repeated attempts to control my life. I just never viewed it as his own insecurity shining through.
It is funny how sometimes we “see” what others should do and be so much more clearly than how we “see” ourselves and our own frailties. It’s that whole plank in our own eye versus speck in someone else’s eye. We criticize and condemn others even though our own lives are filled with opportunities for improvement.
Mostly I laugh it off. I have to in order to stay sane. But it hurts. Really. It does. When everything you do, everything you say, everything you dream, is met with criticism and ridicule. Some days I’m tempted to throw in the towel and hand the responsibility off to someone else. Other days I’m determined to stick it out because I believe I’m where God has called me to be.
I wish I were talking about a child because children grow up. But I’m talking about an adult who is slowly losing the independence he values so highly. And it’s all my fault, probably because I’m the only one brave enough to try and help him when he is determined to do it himself.
He resents my participation, much as he has always resented my presence. He needs me. Some days he even acknowledges that fact by “allowing” me to help him. But mostly there is drama and resentment and ugly comments that seem to bury themselves deep in my heart.
He knows best. He always has. Just ask him. Except none of us know everything and everybody needs help every now and then. He’s just so accustomed to doing it all by himself, refusing to acknowledge even God’s hand in his life, that this new stage is causing him to lash out in anger.
He is a Christian. He says so and mostly I believe him. Either way, it’s between him and God. But I don’t believe any of us get through this life without coming to understand how little control we actually have. God is in control of everything but we can’t control much of anything. Not the weather. Not the actions of other people. Not whether our employer stays in business or our spouse remains faithful or our loved ones live long lives.
We think we know more than we do. We think we control more than we do. We hold on to those things when really the greatest freedom comes in relinquishing our perceived control and handing it over to Almighty God who does control the universe.
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