May 22, 2018

Reach Out to a Caregiver

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13

She is always okay. That’s what she tells anyone who might ask. There is a sadness that covers her, a fatigue that never goes away. She is a caregiver. The only way her life will change is when death claims someone she loves dearly.

My heart breaks for her. I know there really is nothing I can do. I pray for her to have the strength to see it through to the end. She is an only child, which is both a blessing and a curse. The weight of decisions rests solely on her shoulders. She is alone.

Oh, I know what some of you might be saying. What about her spouse? What about her children? What about her friends and her church family? All of those are gladly walking beside her and will do whatever we can. But at the end of the day, this is a journey she must take alone.

Those who brush off her fatigue have never taken the journey. Paid helpers don’t relieve the very real demands on her physically and emotionally. She made a commitment. She buried her Dad and then moved her Mom into her home. The commitment was easy. The days are not.

Living in a daily caregiving situation is far different from caring for someone who is still at home or who is in an assisted living or nursing home situation. It just is. Those times can drain you but not in the way of a 24-hour situation.

One ear must always be ready to hear. Plans are frequently set aside. Life changes quickly. The needs of someone else must always come first. I suppose it must like having an infant, except the weight is so much more. Sometimes the attitude is too. And you can’t just pick them up and take them with you. It’s all so much more complicated than that.

There’s a church in a nearby town that began a ministry for those with Alzheimer’s. Staffed only with trained volunteers, they provide a safe and enjoyable environment two mornings a week for those who can no longer stay alone. It gives their caregivers a much needed break.

One sweet friend traveled west several times a year to give her brother and sister-in-law relief from the daily care of their mother. Yes. There were full-time caregivers. But it’s not like having a family member there. It’s never really a break when you are always on call. Her being there provided someone else to be on call.

Do you know someone who is a caregiver? Are you able to give them a break? How about a meal or an uplifting card? Pray for them – and tell them that you are doing so. Reach out and don’t tell yourself you’ve done your part when they tell you they’re “fine.” They aren’t fine.

Sorrowful journeys are part of life in this fallen world. We gain the strength to make it through from the people who walk beside us. Take a moment today to reach out to a caregiver. Show someone who is hurting and overwhelmed the hands and feet of Jesus.