November 28, 2018

Are You Guilty?

They stubbornly tested God in their hearts, demanding the foods they craved. – Psalm 78:18

Do you ever test God? Are you sure? Do you ever get angry with God because He isn’t doing what you’ve asked, giving you what you think you deserve, providing your requests in a timely manner?

We all know the story about the Israelites who crumbled and complained so much that God refused to let them see the Promised Land. They wandered around for 40 years, waiting for all the complainers to die, before God would let them see what He had promised them.

How often do we miss blessings because we’re so busy making demands of God? How often do we behave like ungrateful children who, instead of being thankful for what we have, increasingly insist that God give us more and more and more.

I love the NLT version of this verse because it talks about the heart. We can do and say all the right things but remember that God looks at the heart. There’s no hiding what you really think and feel from Him.

When you’re secretly jealous because your friend got a new car or a job promotion, God knows. He hears the silent whine of your heart as you wonder why you can’t have those same things.

God knows when you’re nice to someone to their face but in your heart you’re criticizing them for their weight, how they’re dressed, how their children behave. God hears the ugliness that good manners have taught you not to reveal publicly.

God hears you gossip about people. He knows the lies you spread. God sees the selfishness that rests deep inside of you. God hates the pride, the arrogance, the deep certainty that makes you believe you are better than others, deserve more than others, know more than others.

The Israelites had forgotten all that God had done for them. They’d forgotten the oppressive years under the Egyptians. They’d forgotten how God had parted the Red Sea, allowing them to pass safely, before the water drowned their enemies. They’d forgotten how God had cared for them. They were just too focused on what they didn’t have, what they believed they deserved, on their own momentary discomfort. Are we any different?

God loves each of us equally. It’s something we really can’t comprehend because it’s something we’re incapable of doing. God also wants good things for each of us. It’s not about good deeds or worthiness. We will never deserve anything good from Him. Still, God wants to do good for each of us.

What does that look like? The Israelites decided it looked like water and meat. But that was just momentary. Once they got what they wanted, the demands didn’t stop. We’re no different. We want and want. Then we get it and, a short time later, we want something else. We’re trying to fill ourselves up, buy happiness and contentment, with things that will never satisfy us. Will we ever learn?

It all comes back to the heart. Our hearts. Your heart and mine. That’s what determines our joy. That’s where we find our contentment. When Jesus is all we need, we become satisfied and at peace.

Life will always have challenges and obstacles to overcome. We’re on a journey to the Promised Land and the terrain is rocky and uncertain. But we can be joyful. We can choose to see the good, to be satisfied, to trust God to see us through to the end.

Look at your heart. What does it say about who you really are?

October 1, 2018

Share Good and Bad

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

What are you celebrating on your own today? What are you handling alone? What are you keeping from others?

These are all questions that the sermon yesterday ignited in all of us. Pastor Ryan Martin noted that James tells us to share our joys and our sorrows with each other. That goes against what our society dictates today. We keep it all to ourselves, accustomed to going through things alone.

What do you think? We do tend to keep things “private,” don’t we? We don’t ask questions. We don’t get involved. We are so busy minding our own business that we miss a very real truth of our faith. We are meant to do life together, sharing the good and the bad. But we don’t.

I get it. I do. I’m there too. So, the next question is why? Why are we so afraid to share ourselves with others? Maybe the answer is fear. It might be shame. It might be an unwillingness to be held up in praise for fear of what others will say.

Here’s an example. A sweet friend has lost 50 lbs. recently. She’s challenged herself to a exercise regimen and has changed her eating habits. I’m so proud of her determination. Others aren’t. She’s been publicly criticized for how she’s accomplishing her goals. I am appalled at what she’s faced.

As her friends, we should be her biggest cheerleaders. How dare someone question her methods?! It’s not an easy journey but it works for her. It’s medically sound. She’s happy. Why would anyone not congratulate her?

Ah, yes. There’s that little thing called jealousy. There’s always someone around to rain discouragement on our celebration. There’s always someone who can’t feel good about themselves without bashing someone else.

Do you think that’s why so many people don’t share the joys in their lives? Do you think they’re afraid of the criticism? It’s certainly understandable.

And, then, there’s the other side. We tend to handle our sorrows alone too. Maybe it’s shame that we somehow lost a great job, even if it was due to downsizing and nothing that we did or didn’t do. Maybe we don’t want to hear the ugly comments about why our spouse had an affair, or our child ended up a drug addict, or any other horrible thing.

Have you ever heard someone lash out at a person just diagnosed with lung cancer? I have. It’s an unnecessary ugliness. The last thing anyone needs to hear is they gave themselves cancer. Compassion goes a long way when people are hurting.

Our reactions to the news from others – be it good or bad news – causes people to turn inward to isolation or turn outward to loving arms. Which do you think Jesus would do? That’s right. He drew the hurting toward Himself. And He rejoiced with those who were rejoicing.

We weren’t meant to live our lives alone. We were meant to join together in prayer and celebration, in good times and in hard times. We were meant to get into each other’s business, to help, to share, to care.

There’s nothing quite like someone who joins you in celebration. And there are few things as comforting as someone who shows up when you’re hurting, when you’re alone, when you need a hug. Be that person.

July 25, 2018

Do You Reflect Your Faith?

They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good. – Titus 1:16

How do people know you are a Christian? Is it because you attend church most Sundays? Is it because you wear a cross around your neck? Is it because you quote a book you rarely read?

Maybe you’re someone who loudly proclaims your faith. You’re quick to tell others how to live, to pass judgement “based” on the Bible, and to hold others up to impossible standards.

Or maybe you just love people. Maybe you do all you can to help others without stopping to consider if they are worthy or not. Maybe you give sacrificially. Maybe you offer kind words or encouragement and quickly share all that Jesus has done for you. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a joy about you that makes others want what you have.

Here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter how often you are in church if people don’t see evidence of faith in your life. It doesn’t matter if you tithe if you never reach out beyond yourself to help someone in need. And it doesn’t matter how quick you are to quote the Bible if you don’t hold yourself up to its standards.

A deacon who hates people of other races is just as lost as the drug addict who thinks there’s no other way. A church elder who condemns anyone who disagrees with his politics is just as lost as a woman with loose morals. And a pastor who gropes women and tells lewd jokes is just as lost as the young man who thinks his wild ways are acceptable behavior.

We’re all pretty good at “making” the Bible say what we want it to say. We take what feels right and good and turn the words to our benefit. We ignore grace and mercy for anyone who isn’t like us. We define our neighbor as fellow Americans and forget that Jesus told us to include all nations.

We judge without ceasing, thinking that it is somehow our right to do so. We love those of our choosing, forgetting that we’re to love God first and others – all others – as ourselves. We help based on our standards of worthy, with those like us being those who are worthy.

We welcome everyone who wants to work. We suffer through service, unwilling to give up control of how we want things done. We look down on people who aren’t willing to perform tasks the way we think it should be done and we wonder why volunteers are so hard to find.

We grumble if someone kneels at the altar as we sing the last song on Sunday. We’re hungry and we’ve sat on that pew or in that chair long enough. We aren’t concerned with someone who is hurting. We’re only concerned with ourselves.

Should I go on? Do I need to go on? People should know we are Christians because we love others and carry a joy about us no matter our circumstances. Unfortunately, we’re too busy pointing fingers at others to see ourselves as we really are.

As the saying goes, we are the only Bible some people will ever read. Are they reading about Jesus as He truly is? Or are they seeing a Pharisee masquerading as a believer?

May 14, 2018

Don’t Miss the Real Lesson

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

– Colossians 3:12

We didn’t have much of a Sunday School lesson yesterday. At least not officially. It’s not that I wasn’t prepared. I was. It was because some Sundays there are more important things than the “lesson.”

One of our classmates was in tears. Sadness oozed from her broken heart. Another person was in physical pain. Nothing seems to bring relief. Yet another deals daily with the impact of her son’s unwise choices. It was Mother’s Day and that special day is forever changed because of his choices.

A pastor once told me that our class was different. I didn’t fully understand what she meant until I tried to organize meal delivery for someone in another class. The couple were desperate for relief as she fought what turned out to be a futile battle against cancer. I was amazed and appalled at those who weren’t willing to step up and help on that sad journey.

Our class has taken food, provided physical support, helped clear yards, and done a multitude of other things. Yes, we tend to help one another rather than others. We are working on that. But we are a family in the truest sense. We share one another’s joys and accomplishments. And we bear one another’s burdens, holding each person near as needs arise.

One member joked that yesterday was fellowship day. Maybe it was. It’s how we’ve grown so close over the years. We don’t just bring the happy stuff in the door. We bring it all. Everyone is met with kindness and compassion, with a caring ear and, when the need is there, physical help.

Not everyone sees it that way. Isn’t that always the case? We have a few members who are all about the “lesson.” They resent anything that takes them away from the teaching I’ve prepared. They want to study Scripture and history and prayer. All that is well and good but sometimes I think they miss the point.

Jesus told us to love God first and then to love others as ourselves. How can we do that when we aren’t willing to hear their sorrows and carry their burdens? Life isn’t all about being happy. I wish it was but that’s not reality. Sometimes life hurts. Who shares that journey with you?

The hard truth is that when we shut down people who are hurting, when we refuse to make time to hear their sorrow, we push them away from God. There’s a difference between enabling and encouraging drama and self-pity and really listening to someone struggling to stay afloat. As children of God, we are to pray for discernment and, when in doubt, err on the side of compassion.

We’ll finish our official lesson next week. It’s not going anywhere. But those hearts, well, I’d like to think they’re a little lighter because of the encouragement and love they felt in that classroom.

April 26, 2018

God Reaches Out

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

– Psalm 94:18-19

Some days are just hard. Do you know what I mean? A child gets sick. Nothing major but it sure does rearrange your day. The grass needs mowing – again. A vehicle breaks down and you’re faced with an unexpected bill. The list goes on and on.

It’s nothing major. It feels selfish to whine about it all. A little girl is in Birmingham fighting for her life. A dear man in Florida is grieving his constant companion and facing a void he isn’t prepared to face. Another man lost his job and desperation creeps in. How will he provide for his family? There are things that put ordinary challenges into perspective.

Life just feels overwhelming sometimes. There is so much to do. The hours seem few and the labor feels long. I am tired. How about you? Do you ever find yourself just getting through the days, afraid to look beyond because you can’t see anything different? That’s scary. Will it always be this way?

Our joy comes from the Lord. The Bible says so and I believe what it says. I feel guilty. Where is my joy? The birds are chirping outside my window this morning. I have bird houses and bird feeders everywhere it seems. My Mother loved to watch the birds and now I do too. On good days, a red bird brightens the day. A visitor from heaven is what they say.

Today is another beautiful day. The sun shines brightly. Not too hot and not too cold. The kind of perfect day we’ll be dreaming of when summer comes our way. It is hot here in the South. Humid hot. So perfect days are a treasure. Why am I sad?

Every day I awake and soldier on. I imagine you do as well. There are animals to tend and chores to do. There is a living to be made. I don’t know how to rest anymore. How about you? Is your day so filled with obligations and activities that there is no time to sit, to think, to contemplate, to simply enjoy the day that God has given to us?

We are busy. All of us are. Children have school and activities seven days each week. Their parents are right there in the middle of it all. Those who are retired find themselves busier than ever before. There is no end in sight. We fill our days and nights with things that seem necessary and yet we wonder why we are so empty inside.

God told us to rest. We will, we promise. As soon as all the chores are done, as soon as the children are grown, as soon as we enter another season of life. But each season brings its own challenges and we find that we don’t rest there either. We have forgotten what it means to be still before God. We don’t know how to embrace the small things because we’re so focused on getting through yet another day.

Another hard day. When does it get easy? It doesn’t. Not words you wanted to read. Truth is neither pleasant not inspiring but it is necessary. We alone make the choice to slow down, to say no, to take time to be with God in quiet stillness. We can rush along at the world’s pace or we can slow down and rest in God’s embrace. Our choice. We’re all slipping away in our busyness. Reach out to Him. God is waiting to grasp your hand and bring you safely to a place of rest.

April 22, 2018

Trust God

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

– Proverbs 3:5-6

A few days ago I wrote down a very specific prayer request. I’d prayed in general for this thing to come to pass but this time I got specific. Two days later, God answered my prayer.

I don’t know what surprised me more: That He answered my prayer so quickly or that He answered it at all. I was shocked at my reaction. I know God answers prayer. He does it all the time for me and for others. It’s something I talk about again and again. But this prayer was just so specific and He did it – for me.

What I prayed for doesn’t matter. I will tell you that it wasn’t something major. It was something much smaller. I know that God cares about the details of our lives. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. God has numbered the hairs on our heads. He cares about the little things. But He cared about my little thing and I was just so amazed.

Isn’t that just like God to show up when we really aren’t expecting Him? This is one of those things that had gone on for months. I’d really given up hope. My prayers had been general and maybe a little half-hearted. Did I really expect success in this? But when I got specific, when I really turned it over to Him totally, God showed up in the most glorious way.

Sometimes I think I hold back on my prayer requests because I am so aware of all that God has done for me. I have no right to ask for anything else. He has carried me through the worst of storms. He soothed my battered flesh and lifted my spirits with hope. I am just so very grateful. I didn’t deserve all He has done for me and I certainly don’t deserve anything more.

Yet, God shows up again and again. I implore Him to guard my steps so that I follow His light and not my own desires. I am so thankful for all the times He has told me “no” or “not yet”. Have you ever looked back and thanked God for His protection from something you thought you wanted? He is just so wise!

I am not a trusting person. Life has taught me that the people closest to you can and will betray you in the worst possible ways. Trust is something earned over time. Betrayal can come in an instant, slamming the foundation of what you thought you knew and battering it into tiny pieces.

But God. How trustworthy is He? I am just so grateful, so thankful, that He is always by my side! God loves us with a love we can never fully comprehend. He always wants what is best for us. He always tells the truth. And He never leaves us alone to deal with whatever heartbreak or mess we are facing.

God also celebrates with us. He draws us close as we tell Him our joys, as we smile at the beauty of today. He is never consumed with jealousy or envy. God loves that we are happy. God laughs with us and rejoices on all the good that comes our way.

I don’t know what the days ahead will bring. I have no map that shows the future. But I know that God is with me. I know that whatever comes – the good and the bad – God will guide me through it. My goal, my part, is to stay focused on Him and to trust in His light to show me the way.

January 4, 2014

Find Rest In Jesus

 

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

-- John 10:10

I am exhausted. That's not unusual. It was another busy day. Except there is a voice in the back of mind that keeps reminding me that it is Sunday. A day of rest. Not a day to be so tired.

What did I do? Attended church. Taught Sunday school. Bought lunch. Washed dishes. Completed late afternoon lesson. Led late afternoon discussion. Got home after dark. Still have family duties waiting for me. Then I can shower and fall into bed and blissful sleep. I hope.

Don't get me wrong. I have a good life. It is full of  blessings. I am grateful. I am. I just wish I wasn't so tired. I just wish the toll of this wonderful life didn't leave me too exhausted to enjoy it.

Maybe enjoyment isn't what it's all about. What is "happy" anyway? For many, it's the stuff that we fill our lives with. But for how long? Stuff won't fill that hole inside. It's momentary. Fleeting.

I consider what I would change about my day. Not much. I am doing what I love, what I believe God has called me to do. Fatigue is part of the cost and that's okay most of the time.

The other days of my life are a work in progress. This new reality that has engulfed me threatens to consume me. I am fighting it. There is a deep need for solitude that comes before everyone else has done with me for the day. There is a need for exercise and healthy eating without having to fight that battle every day. When do my needs matter to someone besides myself?

They matter to Jesus. I matter to Jesus. My weariness matters to Him. I find my strength in His words. I find my joy in His promises. And on days like this, when the fatigue seeps deep into my pours, it is where I find my rest.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Choose Joy Even In Pain

O my Strength, to you I sing praises, for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love. -- Psalm 59:17

Some days are just hard. And so is the next day and the next. Because life isn’t all about the mountain tops. It’s got a lot of valleys in between.

Our neighbor is in a Birmingham hospital. She desperately needs a liver transplant but right now she is just too weak to survive the surgery -- even if a liver was available. How a woman who never drank got cirrhosis of the liver is anybody’s guess. It’s just one of those unexplained things. That doesn’t ease the pain for those who love her.

A dear friend is also in Birmingham. She is seeing a cancer specialist, hoping and praying for a miracle. The doctors here believe she has stage 3 colon cancer. She doesn’t feel sick. She doesn’t look sick. She clings to God’s peace as she waits for answers.

Another friend nurses her sick child, as she cares for an older child with a major illness. Another sweet friend agonizes as she and her husband wait to be matched with children they pray they’ll one day adopt.

Yesterday some folks were just driving down the road when someone else made a bad decision. Two were life-flighted to an area hospital. A little boy was taken 200 miles in the opposite direction to a different hospital. Definitely not how they’d planned their day.

I could go on and on. I’m really not trying to bring you down but rather to point out that there is joy amidst the pain and struggled. Sometimes it isn’t easy to find. Some days it seems nonexistent.

A wonderful woman is fighting a losing battle against cancer. Anyone would understand if she chose to spend her days with family and close friends. It would seem right if she decided to live fulfilling her own wishes and desires. Instead, she feels God has called her to prison ministry. She spends her time -- when she’s able -- ministering to those most of society shun.

Another woman recently found out she’s in remission from an incurable cancer. That’s the good news. The bad news is that she’ll have to take the chemo drugs that make her so tired and sick for the rest of her life. She loudly praises God for healing and strength to make it this far. Blessings in a long, difficult battle.

We all make choices each day. We can choose to see the good, to feel His strength, to think of others while still in the midst of our pain. Or we can wallow in self-pity and remain where we are. Which choice will you make today?

Monday, January 30, 2012

God Turns Anguish Into Joy

But I will call on God and the LORD will rescue me. -- Psalm 55:16

I just love the psalms. Don’t you? They are prayers to God, worship and crying out in anguish and joy. The psalms contain words that could easily fill our hearts in these days in which we live. They are so vibrant and alive.

As a child, I read the psalms again and again. I had a tattered Bible that had belonged to my mother when she was a girl. I loved that Bible so much. The words -- in the King James Version -- comforted me, even as I sometimes struggled to understand their meaning.

I’ve read those same words many, many times as an adult. But somehow, this year, I’m really seeing those words in a whole different way. I’m hearing David’s pain. I’m understanding how often the man after God’s own heart cried out to His Creator for help, for comfort, for defense. I’m understanding why the child that I was turned to the psalms for comfort in the storm that was my life.

He rescues me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, even though many still oppose me. -- Psalm 55:18

Anguish is what brought me to God. It wasn’t some powerful sermon or horrible tragedy. It was an unwanted life and a child desperate for someone to love her. What’s your story? We all have one. Some are pretty and some aren’t. But each story is as unique as the individuals who tell them.

Beth Moore said something truly profound in her DVD series on James. She said that if we trust God with our anguish, it will birth something precious out of us. What has happened to us will turn into our deliverance, she said. I’d never thought of it like that yet it made so much sense.

We are the people we are because of where we have been. There is no today without yesterday. Good and bad. We can either be the victim that we were or the child God always meant us to be.

That doesn’t mean we leave the past behind. We aren’t made that way. While we do need to get past it, we can use it to fuel ourselves forward. As a child, Moore was a victim of sexual abuse. Today she leads wonderful Bible studies and has a special passion for abuse victims. She has turned something horrible into something amazing.

God can turn our worst experiences into something joyous by creating a new birth through Him. But we have to show up. We have to believe. We have to trust in what He can and will do. Are you ready for all the amazing things God has planned for you? Let Him turn your greatest sorrow into something amazing too.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Let Your Heart Be Joyful

What has happened to all your joy?

-- Galatians 4:15a

This is supposed to be a joyous time of year. We are celebrating Christ’s birth. We gather with family and friends we don’t see nearly enough. We see good where normally we wouldn’t. We give to others out of our own bounty. Yet there is always someone determined to zap the joy of every moment.

Do you have one of those people in your life? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? I tell myself it’s like one of those half-full glasses type of things. I tell myself to pray about it. I tell myself to feel sorry for the person who is so determined to see problems and issues where none exist. I marvel at the unhappiness of someone who needs everyone else to be just as unhappy.

In his letter to the Galatians, Paul thought the Galatians might have lost the joy that came from their salvation because of legalism. Rules can do that to anyone. A person can get so caught up in doing what the rules say that she loses her joy.

It happens when you focus so much on your own inadequacy as a sinner that you don’t see how far you’ve come since you’ve been saved. Joy flies away when you repeatedly condemn yourself for falling short of the standards Jesus set rather than accepting His forgiveness and forgiving yourself.

Legalism stresses performance rather than relationships. It determines that the perfect holiday meal is the goal rather than a wonderful time of fellowship that includes a holiday meal. It makes you feel guilty rather than loved if everything isn‘t perfect. And, let’s be honest here, when is everything ever perfect?

Years ago I watched a wonderful Christian woman disintegrate over something totally ridiculous. She was heading up an assembly and one of her co-workers told everyone to sit down when they needed to remain standing. You’d have thought the world ended at that moment. Everyone could see the steam rising from her as she struggled to control her anger. Most folks would have made a joke and let it go. I don’t remember much about that evening but I remember her overreaction to something so minor.

It makes me wonder if that’s where our joy goes -- in overreacting to small things that really don’t matter. Who cares if your uncle is late -- again? Who cares if someone spills a glass of tea? Who cares if things aren’t the way they’ve been for the past 20 years? What matters are the people who gather to love one another and celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior.

I don’t think it’s possible for you or I to fill others with joy. That’s something that comes when they invite Jesus into their lives. It comes when they stop worrying so much about what doesn’t matter and focus instead on what does.

This is such a joyful time of year. Be still and be glad, in your heart and deep into your soul. For unto you a child is born. A Savior. Born to bear the sins of the world. Oh, what news of great joy!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Be Joyful. Pray. Give Thanks.

Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

-- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What is God’s will for your life? Pastor Rob asked the congregation how many of us had ever really wanted to know what God’s will is for our lives. I don’t think any of us expected such a simple answer.

We believe God’s will is that we organize some big production. We believe God’s will is for us to make some grand gesture, perhaps on behalf of the poor. We believe that God’s will is that we do amazing things in His name. We think of those things when we consider what God’s will is for our lives.

But God’s will is that we be joyful. God desires that we keep praying. And God wants us to be thankful. Be joyful. Pray. Be thankful. So simple. And so profound.

What would happen if all Christians were actually joyful? More people would actually want to have some of that faith, some of that belief, some of that Jesus. Why? Because they would want some of that joy.

Many months ago Pastor Meghan spoke about what led her to a deeper faith. It wasn’t some grand revelation or major event in her life. She told us she looked around her home church and saw the people who really seemed to love the Lord and showed it during their worship time. He noticed the joy on their faces. She wanted what they had. And she got it. Because she sought it.

Pastor Rob told us a story of a woman who had been rejected by her own family. Her pastor didn’t know her story. He asked if a bear she was making was for her grandchild. She told him no and explained that the bear and others she’d made were for the children in her neighborhood. She’d decided that since she didn’t have a family, she needed to go out and adopt her own. And she had. Her life was filled with friends, adults and children, who were her family. She could have ended up sad and alone. Instead her life was filled with joy and love.

That’s the thing about joy. The person who gives joy to others, ends up getting more joy in return, Pastor Rob said. He’s right. It’s why volunteers often talk about getting more than they receive. There’s something joyful about helping others, doing for others, giving of yourself to others.

I’m not sure it’s possible to be truly joyful without embracing those around us. And can we truly be joyful without wanting to tell God, our Abba, our Father, all about it, singing His praises and praising His name? The more joy fills our lives and the more we sing God’s praises, the more thankful we become. It just works that way.

What is God’s will for our lives? To be joyful. To pray. And to be thankful. Sounds so easy. Give it a try. You’ll be amazed at the change in your life.