You
Deserve Better
“Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have
God’s love within you.” – John 5:41-42 (NLT)
She went on and on and
on. Rehashing what a co-worker had said and done and, in some cases, what she
hadn’t said and done. Her commentary was laced with profanity. Every subject
came back to the person who had hurt and angered her.
I cautioned her to let
it go. It’s not easy but the only person she’s hurting is herself. The other
person doesn’t even realize she was in the wrong. She doesn’t understand the move
at work wasn’t a promotion or an opportunity. Continuing to be angry and
badmouth her isn’t going to impact or change her attitude.
I love the NLT version
of this verse. Jesus didn’t get His worth from others. We should follow His
example. We are valuable because we belong to Jesus. We are beloved children of
God. That’s all that matters. Really.
We get so caught up in
what other people think of us, don’t we? The truth is that some people will
like us and some people won’t. And we’ll like some people and some people we
won’t like. That’s okay. We can love them like Jesus and we can be kind. We can
still get along with each other.
Why do we make it so
hard? Why do we hang on to bitterness and rage? Why do we let other people push
our buttons and take control of our emotions and, thus, our lives? Why do we
give people that kind of power over us?
The saddest part of
this isn’t just that we’re harming ourselves. It’s that we are also harming
people we love. Think about it. We take that bad mood home. We spew that venom
in front of our children and our spouse, our friends and family. Time that we
could spend in laughter is spent rehashing something that was awful but done.
What if it isn’t done,
you ask. Sometimes forgiveness is a daily thing. And sometimes we have to walk
away from toxic people. I don’t buy in to that line that we always should work
for reconciliation. We can only change ourselves. We can’t change others. Only
God can do that. And I don’t believe God expects us to be in relationship with
people who want to harm us either through words or actions.
How many women have
gone back to their abusive husbands because they said they were sorry. And how
many have endured abuse again and again because of it. How many children have
lived with alcoholic parents, trying to pretend everything was okay, always
willing to forgive because they are so desperate for a morsel of love and
affection? How many teens seek the love and approval they don’t get at home in
the arms of those who don’t care about anything but the sex? Need I go on?
When we get our value,
our worth, from anyone but God we are setting ourselves up for rejection. We
are never going to please everyone all the time. It’s not our job or our
responsibility. So, when we get our value from their approval, well, that’s
just a disaster that is going to happen.
When your emotions
threaten to get the best of you, take a deep breath and remember who your Father
is. Yeah, that’s Him. God. The Creator of heaven and earth. Almighty God. Yahweh.
You are loved and cherished by the only One who matters.
