January 18, 2020

Who Are You in Christ?

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! – 1 John 3:1a

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. – Romans 15:7

We get so caught up in labels, don’t we? This person owns her own company. That person teaches school. The man over there works on the military base. It all sounds good – until it isn’t.

She stays home with her kids. He refuses to work. He is obese. She is lazy. Their kids are out of control. Did you see what she wore? Did you smell his breath?

Gosh but we can be mean. We call ourselves justified but there’s no justification for judging circumstances we can’t possibly understand. There’s no justification for putting others down in a vain attempt to build ourselves up.

Oh, no! That’s not so, we explain. Really? Are you saying you don’t feel a little bit better about yourself, a little more secure in your position, in your life, when you look down on someone else? I’m not buying it.

Those arrows hurt. They cause us to question who we are. They remind us that no matter how much we accomplish or how hard we try, there will always be someone who does it a little bit better.

I am so thankful that our identity doesn’t come from the things we do or don’t do, from how we look or who we know. Our income or our address or the car we drive don’t factor into our worth.

We are valuable because of Jesus. Our identity – our true identity – comes from Him. Jesus thought we were good enough to die for. Jesus reached out His hand and, with His blood, calls us blameless. And because of this God looks at us with love and beckons us into His Presence.

Don’t let this world beat you down. Don’t believe the lies those daggers shoot at you day after day. You are loved. You are cherished. You are more than enough. When life gets tough today, rest in that.

September 3, 2018

Clean Yourself Up First

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” – Mark 2:17

“How many people are more worried about a kid wearing a hat in the sanctuary than his heart?” It was an honest, if brutal, question posed by our Youth Minister.

We like to get caught up in appearances, don’t we? We are all about appropriate dress and appropriate behavior in church. Take those crying babies to the nursery! Tell that man to take a bath! Make those kids stop squirming! How dare someone sit on “my” pew! The music minister needs to pick different songs! The pastor talks too long! Should I keep going?

Why do we attend Sunday morning worship services? Is it to see who was there and to be seen by others? Or is it to truly worship God Almighty?

Why do we act as though others should clean themselves up to our standards before they enter our doors? If only “clean” people could walk into the sanctuary, there would be no one there. When did we stop realizing that?

We had a new person attend our Sunday school class this week. Apparently, she’s been attending church for a while but would never venture into a small group. Another class member has encouraged her and she joined us. I don’t know her story. I don’t need to know. She is broken and hurting inside. That’s obvious. She is going through the motions but barely hanging on. I’m really glad she came.

Church isn’t about having it all together before you walk in the building. It isn’t about knowing all the answers. It isn’t about making light conversation. It isn’t really even about reading Bible verses. We come together to worship God and love one another.

We spend a lot of time on prayer requests in my class. Some people don’t like it and end up leaving. Others come to hear the names of people they love lifted up. How do I know? They tell me. An awful situation somehow gets filled with hope when people gather around and pray about it.

Church isn’t a social club, where you put on your best behavior and pretend life is fine. At least, it shouldn’t be. Church should be the one place above all others where everyone is welcome and accepted, loved and cared about.

At one point in my life I attended church for a totally selfish reason. Do you want to know what it was? The hugs that came during fellowship time. It was the only time I was ever touched by another human being and I craved that connection. No one knew. They were just good people being Jesus. But I felt it and it led me into a deeper connection with the One who makes me whole.

We forget sometimes that Jesus came for sinners, for the outcasts, for the hurting, for the thief and the blind man. He came for all those society had cast aside as unworthy. Why do we think it’s okay to cast them aside too? Why do we judge and condemn rather than love and welcome?

We are all sinners. We all need Jesus. We are all welcome at His throne.

June 29, 2018

Critics Abound

“For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”

– Luke 7:33-35

No matter what you do, there will always be someone to criticize you. No matter what you don’t do, there will always be someone to criticize you. It can destroy you if you let it.

Understand that the only One you need to please is God. He is your judge. He is your jury. He is the One who knows your heart.

I know. It’s easier to say that than it is to do it. Words hurt. It’s frustrating to face the lies of others. It’s upsetting to be slandered no matter what you do or don’t do. It’s easy to say walk away and trust God to handle it. There is a natural inclination to want to fight back. Don’t. God will handle it.

Jesus gets it. He really does. No matter what He did on this earth, someone criticized Him for it. We look at that, we read His words, and we can’t believe that anyone would be less than thrilled at His miracles. We can’t believe anyone would doubt His teachings. But they did. So do we.

Every time we walk a different path than the one we are called to, we deny Him. Every time we judge others, we deny Him. Every time we take His Word out of context and use it for our own purposes, we deny Him.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the church. I wonder sometimes how the pastors and staff handle it. Deep faith and God’s grace I suppose. And understanding that it really isn’t about them.

I have critics who claim I am way too liberal. And I have critics who claim I am way too conservative. I have been criticized for prayer time in Sunday school class (too long unless it involves one of the critics’ needs or concerns) and I have been criticized for not reordering the class to fit the wishes of people who rarely come.

That’s just a few things that come to mind. I could tell you about the critics who don’t like the music in either the contemporary or traditional services, who don’t like the way communion is done, who get upset with the volume or appropriate dress or any number of other things that really don’t matter.

Some people are going to complain about what’s not important so they don’t have to face what really is important. It’s just easier to focus on other things than to look inside and see the mess found there.

Those with wisdom are willing to look in the mirror and see the ways they need Jesus to fix their souls. They work to deny themselves and live a righteous life of faith, grace and mercy.

Others will continue their foolishness, pointing fingers and criticizing others. Trust them to God. You’ll never win a skirmish with someone who doesn’t see their own faults. Focus on being the best person you can be, the person God called you to be. And trust that God will handle all the rest.

March 15, 2018

Exhaustion Surrounds Caregivers

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31

Exhaustion ran so deep that I wasn’t sure I could make it through another day. I had to. There were no other options. When you are a caregiver, it sometimes feels as though the whole world rests on your weary shoulders. Well, actually, it does.

People are quick to tell you what you must do. They are quick to condemn and criticize. Just don’t ever ask them to do anything. Excuses tumble out of their mouths. The truth is they can’t be bothered to do what they should. Why should they? You are there to carry their load.

Have you ever tried to sleep in a hospital? Nurses and others are in and out all night. Your patient is awake more than not. Unfortunately, you aren’t headed home the next day for a needed nap. There’s too much to do and your priorities are with those you love.

People are quick to tell you to take time for yourself. When? You are always on call even if you aren’t present with the patient. When it really hit me that my Mother had died was the first time I reached to shove my phone in my pocket and realized I didn’t have to carry it with me to go downstairs and let the dogs out. I was no longer on call every moment of every day. I was no longer a caregiver.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces all over again. The grief runs deep. Medical professionals had warned me about what was to come. When your life for years is consumed with the needs of someone else – in my case two people – you don’t know what you’re supposed to do in the aftermath.

But this is about the journey because I know there are so many exhausted, hurting people doing the best they can to juggle an impossible situation.

Are you a critic? Then hush. If you can’t, or won’t, step up and actually provide help, then you’ve no right to be critical of anything someone else is doing. Have you considered the demands? Do you know what it’s like to juggle never-ending doctor appointments or home health visits? Have you ever struggled to get an elderly, sick person to eat what they should? Or to do or not do things based on their abilities rather than what they once could do?

If you want to help, then stop thinking that you should do and just do something. Offer to sit for a while so the caregiver can get to the grocery store. Bring a meal. Mow the lawn. Send cards of encouragement with personal messages written inside. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

If you are the caregiver, know that Jesus takes every step with you. Get your strength from Him. Know that while you can’t possibly take another step on your own, you can do all things through Him who gives you strength. Fill your heart and your mind with His words. They will carry you in a way nothing else can.

Do I regret the hours and the days, the years of sacrifice? Not even a moment. I’d do it all again. I know I did all I could to honor my parents and tend to their needs. Every caregiver knows that. It’s what makes the exhausting days worthwhile, knowing that in the end you truly have done the right thing to honor God and those you love.

May 23, 2016

Build People Up Not Down

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. -- 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Have you ever been surrounded by critics? It might even be just one person who is determined to cut you down no matter what. Sometimes that critic lives inside of you.

Today I refused to add the seasonings to eggs that were to be scrambled. I’ve done it myself numerous times. It’s easy and not a big deal. So why did I just say no? Because I knew that I wouldn’t do it “just right.” And I didn’t want to deal with the criticism.

Have you ever avoided doing something because you didn’t want to hear the commentary? I think it happens to all of us. Sometimes it’s just easier to walk away than to deal with it.

There are just some people who can only feel good about themselves when they are putting others down. It’s like in their own sick minds their self-esteem rises when someone else’s self-esteem heads downhill. And they are determined to help the slide.

We see a lot of critics in the workplace. It’s a game. No one considers that working as a team helps everyone. Nope. There’s always one or two or more who believe that the only way up is if everyone else is going down. How sad they are.

And we see a lot of critics at home. Have you ever seen a child who is beaten down? Not physically but emotionally and mentally. They either give up or rebel. I don’t know which is worse.

I grew up in a home like that. If someone gave me a compliment, I was immediately told not to let it go to my head. And, for good measure, I’d have something that needed “improvement” quickly pointed out. I never thought I could do anything because that’s what I was told.

The worst thing is those critical voices now live inside of me. I am at times my own worst enemy because I listen to those voices that tell me what I can’t do. It’s a constant battle. I know I am not alone in that.

The Bible clearly tells us to build people up. We are to encourage one another. What happened to actually living that in our homes and our workplaces?

Last Sunday at church we recognized the graduating seniors. Some teens had many family members in attendance. Others, well, I’m not sure they had anyone. It didn’t matter. Each young person was showered with praise and applause and whistles and such. Equally, I might add. Because they are all equally important.

What we say and do matters. Pay attention. Are we building someone up or tearing them down? The answer could affect someone for the rest of their lives.

March 1, 2015

Your Judgment Is Showing

 

When they key on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." -- John 8:7

What does judgment look like? We think of a jury rendering judgment at a trial. We cringe at the thought of God judging us. But we don't consider too much how we judge others.

Seriously. We don't even think about it. Judging others comes naturally, like the sin that happens everyday. Oh, I know. You're a pretty good person. You are still a sinner. So I am. We're human. We're living in a fallen world.

That's not an excuse. Nor does it make judging others right. It's the subtle judgments that seem to hurt the most. "I can't believe she's wearing that!" "What was he thinking taking up with the likes of her?" "She'd better be grateful for anything anybody gives her after what she's done." "He does what for a living?" I could go on and on but you get the point.

We don't think of it as judging but it is. Those "opinions" of ours hurt others and honestly reflect negatively on us. Judging is a form of looking down on others, as holding yourself up as superior. You're protesting about now. You don't think of yourself as superior. You don't. Are you sure about that?

Let's take a look. Who made you the fashion critic? And what do you really know about her? Giving should be done from the heart, not because someone has somehow "earned" the right to receive something from you. And, honestly, any job is a good job when it's done as for the Lord.

So be careful what you do and say, whether in your mind (heart!) or with your voice. Your judgment is showing.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Biggest Critics Never Step Up

Moses returned to the LORD and said, “O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? Is this why you sent me? Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble upon this people, and you have not rescued your people at all.“ -- Exodus 5:22-23

Sometimes when it seems I are doing everything I can to follow God and do His will, there is a chorus all around of people giving directions. No one wants to step up but they sure seem to know how to tell me what to do and how to do it and, in some cases, even when to do it.

I try really hard to control my tongue. I seek words of wisdom, trying to unite rather than say exactly what I think and feel. The resentment builds up inside of me and anger emerges. Then it is no longer about them but about me. My heart is hurt and I want desperately to lash out, to hurt those who have hurt me.

Max Lucado says that resentment comes from hurt. I’ve come to see the truth in that. Knowing it, acknowledging it, helps me take it to God and lay it at His feet. I don’t want a hardened heart. I don’t want to be angry and bitter. I simply want to do His will in His way and in His time.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s anything but simple. Because where there is ministry, there is a host of personalities and conflict is bound to arise. Everyone has a different view of what should be done and, to some degree, that’s okay.

My problem comes when those with the loudest voices refuse to step up and actually do what they are demanding that I do. They know which Bible study they’d like to do. They know the time they’d like to do it. They know the format. But they aren’t willing to do it. They aren’t willing to make the commitment to actually show up themselves. They simply want it available for them if it’s convenient.

And I resent that. Last spring I felt forced to do a second Bible study to finish out the school year. I didn’t want to do it. I was burned out and wanted a break. The chorus was loud and I agreed. God led me to a wonderful book and we were all blessed by it.

During the weeks of study, every single person in the group missed at least one session. Some missed two or three. Everyone seemed to have something better come up, from vacation to kids’ activities, to family events. I’m not denying the importance of those things. However, why was it that the one person (me) who most didn’t want to do the study ended up being the only person who had to be there every week?

I spent a lot of time with God on that one. And, as I said, we were blessed by the study. Yet here I am again. We are completing a study and the harping has begun over which will be the next study. I’ve already told them that someone else needs to step up. They keep pointing the finger at me. I’m not sure I can get past the hurt to do another one. Sadly, I’m not sure they even see past themselves to realize what their attitudes are doing to me.

So I’ve given it to God. He’s had it all along anyway. He needs to decide what study we should do, when we should do it and who should lead the discussions. Some folks are bound to be unhappy but, hey, that’s just how it goes. Either step up or shut up. As hard as that sounds, sometimes that’s just the only way.