May 15, 2018

Let It Go

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

– Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness makes an awful companion. It will cloud your thinking, harden your heart, give the devil a foothold into a life dedicated to God.

The dictionary defines bitterness as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. It is also resentment. It is a small kernel that, if not dealt with, will grow into an all-consuming thing that directs the paths of our lives to a place we never intended to go.

In the Christian faith, we talk a lot about forgiveness. We forgive not because the other person deserves it but because God forgives us. We forgive because of what Jesus did for us, dying a cruel, merciless death, so that we would be washed white by His blood.

We don’t deserve mercy. None of us deserve forgiveness. But it’s what God gives us anyway when we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. That kind of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? When we complain about the sins of others, about the unfairness of it all, we are condemning ourselves.

I can do all things through Christ. That’s what the Bible tells me. But I am prone to give it to God, then take it back again and again. How about you? Every time we replay the offense over in our minds, we are filling our hearts with anger and bitterness yet again.

Don’t sin in your anger. That’s another jewel from the Bible. Anger causes us to be people of hate rather than people who reflect God’s love to the world. We can’t get past old wounds because we’re too focused on the very real hurt.

Forgiveness doesn’t make it all okay. Nor does forgiveness mean you should always invite those people back into your life. It took me a while to understand that. Some people simply aren’t safe to be around. One of those Pinterest posts reminds us that if God removes someone from your life, don’t chase after them. God did it for a reason.

Letting go can be hard. We want to defend ourselves. We want revenge. We want that lost dream restored. Walk away. Cleanse your soul of the filth that situation caused and move forward toward God’s calling.

Bitterness will only destroy you and cause you to sin repeatedly against God. Let it go. You are called to walk in freedom from the sins of the past. That happens one step at a time.

February 21, 2018

Get Rid of the Anger

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. – Colossians 3:8

What is your button? What instantly makes you angry? What do you have trouble shaking off, putting aside, letting go and moving on from?

We all have something. It could be a snide comment from someone. It could be an unfair judgement from a person who has no business even concerning themselves with your situation. It could be reminders of leftover anger from situations long ago.

Most anger is normal. Contrary to what some believe, anger alone isn’t a sin. The sin comes when we harbor bitterness and chronic anger. Then it overtakes us and consumes us in ways that aren’t healthy for us and lead us to sin in other ways.

Anger and resentment can’t coincide with forgiveness. We are to forgive others because God has forgiven us. It has nothing to do with worthiness. None of us are worthy of forgiveness. It is about grace and mercy.

Forgiveness also isn’t about the other person repenting and asking for forgiveness. We can’t control what other people do or don’t do. We can’t control what they say about us or how they feel about us. We can control how we react. We can forgive and walk away.

Chronic anger is a result of deep hurt. That’s what our pastor said last Sunday. There’s so much truth in that. We lash out at others. We allow jealousy and anger to take control. We sin, then use our own anger in a vain attempt to justify our sin. It’s a vicious cycle and everyone gets hurt in the end.

Some people try to put salve on their wounds by attempting to control everyone and everything around them. They want to be in charge, no matter the cost. And make no mistake, the cost is great. No one wants to be controlled by others. While they might go along for a time, eventually that will erupt into something awful. We can’t run other people’s lives. It’s that simple and that complicated.

We must exercise self-control over our own lives. We need to get rid of the anger and resentment and jealousies that consume us. It doesn’t feel natural, does it? Don’t we have a right to rise up against those who have harmed us? Not according to the Bible. God is the One who takes care of revenge when His children are harmed. We’re to forgive and move on.

How can we possibly get past it all? By giving it to God. Again and again, I might add. God sees your struggle. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to heal you and allow you to move past the ugliness in your heart. Let go of the anger and bitterness and allow God’s peace to fill your heart.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Biggest Critics Never Step Up

Moses returned to the LORD and said, “O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? Is this why you sent me? Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble upon this people, and you have not rescued your people at all.“ -- Exodus 5:22-23

Sometimes when it seems I are doing everything I can to follow God and do His will, there is a chorus all around of people giving directions. No one wants to step up but they sure seem to know how to tell me what to do and how to do it and, in some cases, even when to do it.

I try really hard to control my tongue. I seek words of wisdom, trying to unite rather than say exactly what I think and feel. The resentment builds up inside of me and anger emerges. Then it is no longer about them but about me. My heart is hurt and I want desperately to lash out, to hurt those who have hurt me.

Max Lucado says that resentment comes from hurt. I’ve come to see the truth in that. Knowing it, acknowledging it, helps me take it to God and lay it at His feet. I don’t want a hardened heart. I don’t want to be angry and bitter. I simply want to do His will in His way and in His time.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s anything but simple. Because where there is ministry, there is a host of personalities and conflict is bound to arise. Everyone has a different view of what should be done and, to some degree, that’s okay.

My problem comes when those with the loudest voices refuse to step up and actually do what they are demanding that I do. They know which Bible study they’d like to do. They know the time they’d like to do it. They know the format. But they aren’t willing to do it. They aren’t willing to make the commitment to actually show up themselves. They simply want it available for them if it’s convenient.

And I resent that. Last spring I felt forced to do a second Bible study to finish out the school year. I didn’t want to do it. I was burned out and wanted a break. The chorus was loud and I agreed. God led me to a wonderful book and we were all blessed by it.

During the weeks of study, every single person in the group missed at least one session. Some missed two or three. Everyone seemed to have something better come up, from vacation to kids’ activities, to family events. I’m not denying the importance of those things. However, why was it that the one person (me) who most didn’t want to do the study ended up being the only person who had to be there every week?

I spent a lot of time with God on that one. And, as I said, we were blessed by the study. Yet here I am again. We are completing a study and the harping has begun over which will be the next study. I’ve already told them that someone else needs to step up. They keep pointing the finger at me. I’m not sure I can get past the hurt to do another one. Sadly, I’m not sure they even see past themselves to realize what their attitudes are doing to me.

So I’ve given it to God. He’s had it all along anyway. He needs to decide what study we should do, when we should do it and who should lead the discussions. Some folks are bound to be unhappy but, hey, that’s just how it goes. Either step up or shut up. As hard as that sounds, sometimes that’s just the only way.