Exhaustion Surrounds Caregivers
He gives power to the faint, and to him
who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew
their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and
not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31
Exhaustion ran so deep that I wasn’t sure I could make
it through another day. I had to. There were no other options. When you are a
caregiver, it sometimes feels as though the whole world rests on your weary
shoulders. Well, actually, it does.
People are quick to tell you what you must do. They
are quick to condemn and criticize. Just don’t ever ask them to do anything.
Excuses tumble out of their mouths. The truth is they can’t be bothered to do
what they should. Why should they? You are there to carry their load.
Have you ever tried to sleep in a hospital? Nurses and
others are in and out all night. Your patient is awake more than not. Unfortunately,
you aren’t headed home the next day for a needed nap. There’s too much to do
and your priorities are with those you love.
People are quick to tell you to take time for yourself.
When? You are always on call even if you aren’t present with the patient. When
it really hit me that my Mother had died was the first time I reached to shove
my phone in my pocket and realized I didn’t have to carry it with me to go
downstairs and let the dogs out. I was no longer on call every moment of every
day. I was no longer a caregiver.
My heart broke into a thousand pieces all over again. The
grief runs deep. Medical professionals had warned me about what was to come.
When your life for years is consumed with the needs of someone else – in my
case two people – you don’t know what you’re supposed to do in the aftermath.
But this is about the journey because I know there are
so many exhausted, hurting people doing the best they can to juggle an
impossible situation.
Are you a critic? Then hush. If you can’t, or won’t,
step up and actually provide help, then you’ve no right to be critical of
anything someone else is doing. Have you considered the demands? Do you know
what it’s like to juggle never-ending doctor appointments or home health visits?
Have you ever struggled to get an elderly, sick person to eat what they should?
Or to do or not do things based on their abilities rather than what they once
could do?
If you want to help, then stop thinking that you
should do and just do something. Offer to sit for a while so the caregiver can
get to the grocery store. Bring a meal. Mow the lawn. Send cards of
encouragement with personal messages written inside. Be the hands and feet of
Jesus.
If you are the caregiver, know that Jesus takes every
step with you. Get your strength from Him. Know that while you can’t possibly
take another step on your own, you can do all things through Him who gives you
strength. Fill your heart and your mind with His words. They will carry you in
a way nothing else can.
Do I regret the hours and the days, the years of
sacrifice? Not even a moment. I’d do it all again. I know I did all I could to
honor my parents and tend to their needs. Every caregiver knows that. It’s what
makes the exhausting days worthwhile, knowing that in the end you truly have
done the right thing to honor God and those you love.
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