March 15, 2018


Exhaustion Surrounds Caregivers

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31

Exhaustion ran so deep that I wasn’t sure I could make it through another day. I had to. There were no other options. When you are a caregiver, it sometimes feels as though the whole world rests on your weary shoulders. Well, actually, it does.

People are quick to tell you what you must do. They are quick to condemn and criticize. Just don’t ever ask them to do anything. Excuses tumble out of their mouths. The truth is they can’t be bothered to do what they should. Why should they? You are there to carry their load.

Have you ever tried to sleep in a hospital? Nurses and others are in and out all night. Your patient is awake more than not. Unfortunately, you aren’t headed home the next day for a needed nap. There’s too much to do and your priorities are with those you love.

People are quick to tell you to take time for yourself. When? You are always on call even if you aren’t present with the patient. When it really hit me that my Mother had died was the first time I reached to shove my phone in my pocket and realized I didn’t have to carry it with me to go downstairs and let the dogs out. I was no longer on call every moment of every day. I was no longer a caregiver.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces all over again. The grief runs deep. Medical professionals had warned me about what was to come. When your life for years is consumed with the needs of someone else – in my case two people – you don’t know what you’re supposed to do in the aftermath.

But this is about the journey because I know there are so many exhausted, hurting people doing the best they can to juggle an impossible situation.

Are you a critic? Then hush. If you can’t, or won’t, step up and actually provide help, then you’ve no right to be critical of anything someone else is doing. Have you considered the demands? Do you know what it’s like to juggle never-ending doctor appointments or home health visits? Have you ever struggled to get an elderly, sick person to eat what they should? Or to do or not do things based on their abilities rather than what they once could do?

If you want to help, then stop thinking that you should do and just do something. Offer to sit for a while so the caregiver can get to the grocery store. Bring a meal. Mow the lawn. Send cards of encouragement with personal messages written inside. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

If you are the caregiver, know that Jesus takes every step with you. Get your strength from Him. Know that while you can’t possibly take another step on your own, you can do all things through Him who gives you strength. Fill your heart and your mind with His words. They will carry you in a way nothing else can.

Do I regret the hours and the days, the years of sacrifice? Not even a moment. I’d do it all again. I know I did all I could to honor my parents and tend to their needs. Every caregiver knows that. It’s what makes the exhausting days worthwhile, knowing that in the end you truly have done the right thing to honor God and those you love.

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