November 18, 2018

Jesus Heals

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.

– Matthew 9:35

Jesus heals. Jesus always heals. Sometimes He heals by restoring a person’s health on this earth. Sometimes He heals by taking a person home.

But the hardest part isn’t always the healing, however it comes. Perhaps the hardest part is in the not knowing. It’s those moments when the doctors don’t quite know what’s wrong. The pain, the illness, is real. But there’s a limit to what doctors know.

Jesus doesn’t have those limits. So we pray for answers. We pay for healing. We pray for relief from what we do not know. Answers. Yes, we want answers. But, mostly, we just want it all to go away.

I spent much of this afternoon in a doctor’s office waiting for answers that never came. It was just another trip to see another doctor on a never-ending journey for relief. The illness comes on at odd moments. Each time is a little worse than before. The fever, well, it’s not normal. The muscle aches, the chills. Nothing is normal.

It’s not the flu. It’s not strep. That gets ruled out every time. We know what it’s not. We just don’t know what it is. Jesus knows.

My friend was willing to suffer at home in silence. He’s tired of the journey, tired of not knowing, tired of needle pricks and tests that rule out things but never seem to find the answer. One more step forward into the unknown.

Jesus heals. Jesus beckons us onward, drawing us closer to Him. When no one has the answers, who do we turn to? Jesus. We cry out in pain. We cry out for answers. We cry out for healing.

Several years ago a friend was in a horrific accident that almost cost her a leg. As the doctors struggled to find the bleed and save her life and her leg, we could only pray to the One who already knew the answers. Doctors are limited but Jesus isn’t. Only her scars tell the story of that awful night and the miracle of healing.

We are blessed to have access to such wonderful medical care. We are blessed to have caring people in our lives. We are blessed to have a Savior who heals both the seen and the unseen. Because sometimes what troubles us the most is the sickness that lies deep inside in that dark place only Jesus sees.

What hurts you today? Is it a physical illness that will soon be a part of your past? Is it an ongoing disease that lingers, stealing your strength and your future? Is it a hurt that won’t heal? Maybe it’s an unknown that weighs on you as the days continue onward with no answers?

Jesus heals. It doesn’t matter what you’re facing. He’s there. When you need answers, turn to Jesus. When you’re hurting, turn to Jesus. When you’re afraid, trust in Jesus. He never, ever leaves you alone.

Answers for my friend may come. I certainly pray that they do. But whatever happens, I know that Jesus is on this journey with him. Jesus has all the answers. And Jesus always heals.

October 30, 2018

Step Up

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

– 1 Timothy 5:4

I’m probably not the person you want to ask when you want advice about taking care of elderly relatives. That’s especially true if you’re looking for excuses or justification for not doing what you know you should do.

I don’t care about your job. I don’t care that you’ve got children. I don’t care that you’ve got a vacation planned or whatever else you’ve decided is your excuse. And I surely don’t want to hear you say that it’s someone else’s responsibility.

I’m pretty vocal about it yet, it seems, I am the one others seek when it comes to advice. Why? Probably because I’ve been there and I tell them the hard truth, whether it’s what they want to hear or not.

Don’t leave someone really sick alone in a hospital room, especially at night. That’s especially true when the person is elderly. This seems so basic to me. Yet, obviously, it’s not something that occurs to many people. If you can’t stay, then have someone else do it. Hire a sitter if you must. But don’t leave them alone.

I once shared an ICU waiting room with an elderly woman and a revolving door of children and grandchildren. The woman’s youngest daughter was in the unit and not doing well. She refused to leave the hospital for fear her daughter would die without her being there. Her children and grandchildren refused to leave the elderly woman there alone. It was such a beautiful site to watch their devotion to their mother and grandmother. It’s rare.

Most people view taking care of someone as an obligation or a duty. They resent it. They resent the intrusion into their lives. They don’t want to rearrange their time to accommodate hospital stays and doctor visits and such. So they make excuses. Again and again they make excuses.

We are responsible for those who once cared for us. It’s never convenient. It requires sacrifice. Don’t miss that word. Sacrifice. We are a selfish people who really only want to do what’s convenient. That’s not reality.

Don’t be meek when it comes to being an advocate for your loved one. It is your responsibility to demand that his or her needs be met at all times. That means paying attention, talking to the doctors and nurses, and being involved. I once walked into an ICU room to find my mother’s blood pressure over 200. Excuse me?! That isn’t acceptable. Ever.

This is just one more reason why you need to be there. It does make a difference. You are talking to doctors and nurses face to face. You are watching the care your loved one receives. You see how much or how little they eat. And on and on.

Most medical professionals are dedicated and will go above and beyond the requirements of their jobs for their patients. But they also need you. No one knows your loved one like you do. Talk to them. Ask questions. Write it down if you must.

Nothing can prepare you for the hard road of caregiving. Nothing. And no one can understand your journey if they have not walked it. Don’t make excuses. Step up. You’ll never regret the sacrifices that come with loving someone through your words and actions.

March 15, 2018

Exhaustion Surrounds Caregivers

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31

Exhaustion ran so deep that I wasn’t sure I could make it through another day. I had to. There were no other options. When you are a caregiver, it sometimes feels as though the whole world rests on your weary shoulders. Well, actually, it does.

People are quick to tell you what you must do. They are quick to condemn and criticize. Just don’t ever ask them to do anything. Excuses tumble out of their mouths. The truth is they can’t be bothered to do what they should. Why should they? You are there to carry their load.

Have you ever tried to sleep in a hospital? Nurses and others are in and out all night. Your patient is awake more than not. Unfortunately, you aren’t headed home the next day for a needed nap. There’s too much to do and your priorities are with those you love.

People are quick to tell you to take time for yourself. When? You are always on call even if you aren’t present with the patient. When it really hit me that my Mother had died was the first time I reached to shove my phone in my pocket and realized I didn’t have to carry it with me to go downstairs and let the dogs out. I was no longer on call every moment of every day. I was no longer a caregiver.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces all over again. The grief runs deep. Medical professionals had warned me about what was to come. When your life for years is consumed with the needs of someone else – in my case two people – you don’t know what you’re supposed to do in the aftermath.

But this is about the journey because I know there are so many exhausted, hurting people doing the best they can to juggle an impossible situation.

Are you a critic? Then hush. If you can’t, or won’t, step up and actually provide help, then you’ve no right to be critical of anything someone else is doing. Have you considered the demands? Do you know what it’s like to juggle never-ending doctor appointments or home health visits? Have you ever struggled to get an elderly, sick person to eat what they should? Or to do or not do things based on their abilities rather than what they once could do?

If you want to help, then stop thinking that you should do and just do something. Offer to sit for a while so the caregiver can get to the grocery store. Bring a meal. Mow the lawn. Send cards of encouragement with personal messages written inside. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

If you are the caregiver, know that Jesus takes every step with you. Get your strength from Him. Know that while you can’t possibly take another step on your own, you can do all things through Him who gives you strength. Fill your heart and your mind with His words. They will carry you in a way nothing else can.

Do I regret the hours and the days, the years of sacrifice? Not even a moment. I’d do it all again. I know I did all I could to honor my parents and tend to their needs. Every caregiver knows that. It’s what makes the exhausting days worthwhile, knowing that in the end you truly have done the right thing to honor God and those you love.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Who Are You Praying For Today?

I life up my eyes to the hills --

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

The Maker of heaven and earth.

-- Psalm 121:1-2

It seems like a season of pain and prayers. Everywhere I turn I see people who are hurting, people struggling with illness and pain, people facing surgery and people enduring beyond what they thought they ever could.

A dear friend had back surgery on Tuesday. Another friend needs it desperately but has to wait for an infection to clear up. Another dear woman, already coping with her husband’s Alzheimer’s, suffers debilitating back pain.

Another man had surgery a few weeks ago, then had to have another procedure. He’s still in incredible pain. A sweet older woman fell and is just so banged up.

A sweet lady learned last week that doctors found another spot on her lung. She’s been battling lung cancer for years and this was such a devastating blow. A sweet couple today took their son to a specialist for a serious ear problem that will likely need surgery.

Need I go on? It seems like so many people around me are facing health issues. Some of them, with the help of doctors and with God’s guidance, should be fine. Others will likely only have healing when they go home to be with Jesus.

It’s so easy to get discouraged, to forget that God is with us even when the path is rocky and seems to never end. Or maybe I should say especially when our path is rocky because He would never leave us to weather the storm alone.

Prayers. That’s what we can do when someone is hurting, when someone is dying, when someone feels hopeless. Sometimes we can give specific help in the form of food, company, rides to the doctor, etc. But we can always pray that God will grant them peace and strength, healing and hope.

We mean to pray, don’t we? We say we will and we fully intend to do it. Except sometimes we forget. Some people have prayer journals. Others try to remember. I try to pray right then or as soon as I can after I learn of the request. For some who are especially close to me, my prayers become a day long thing. Every time I think of them, I lift them up in prayer.

How about you? Who are you praying for today? Don’t put it off. We live in a hurting world that desperately needs God to love and keep them close.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

God Knows

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." -- Hebrews 4:13

When your world turns upside down, God is there. Where uncertainly hangs over you, God is there. Where fear fills your soul, God is there. You don't even have to say anything, though He's ready to listen if you do. God knows your heart. He knows what you're going through.

It started as a normal day. Laughter and coffee. Errands and plans. Then, suddenly, a trip to the emergency room and the uncertainty of medical conditions and treatment. We tried to keep up a casual banter. We ignored the fear inside, needing to remain calm for the patient. We were concerned but not panicked. Or so we appeared.

Inside, my heart pleaded with God to do something. I wasn't focused enough to even know what. Just that I needed Him to be in charge of the doctors and tests, of the outcome and days ahead. He heard it all because God knows our hearts. He hears every unspoken word just as clearly as the spoken words. Maybe more so because of the feelings bottled up inside.

I don't know what the days and weeks ahead will bring. It scares me in ways I can't even begin to admit to myself. God knows. He hears. He's right there to steady my step and see me through wherever the path may lead.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Call On God For Guidance

"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." -- 1 Corinthians 1:10

It was as typical as it was sad. Another family disagreeing over how to care for an elderly parent. My friend, an in-law with no vote, was exhausted as she tried to help with daily care for someone she loves. Everyone in the family wants what is best but sometimes what's best depends on whether you're thinking with your mind or your heart. And, really, who can separate the two when love is involved?

Sometimes the hardest thing to accept is the failing health of a close relative. We want to ignore it. We want to believe it's temporary and that our loved one will soon be better. We want to believe we can hold out to care for them the way our love dictates that we must. We resist hiring help because no one can care like a family member. But physical limits, jobs, children and other responsibilities get neglected as everyone focuses on the elderly relative. There is no easy answer.

Why do we resist asking God to intervene? Why do we try and work it out on our own? Why do we hold tightly to our opinions, refusing to listen to outside counsel? Why are we determined to hang on to our hurt rather than open our hearts to others who share our pain?

Maybe the first step -- after praying together -- is to talk calmly. Maybe it is listening even when our hearts cry out with pain because we don't want to hear the words. Maybe it is talking with a trusted advisor, such as a pastor, doctor or hospice worker. Surely it is continuing to pray together and alone for guidance from God.

In times of crisis, it's so important for families to draw together, using their love of Jesus and their loved one to unify their family. Don't let pain drive you apart. Instead, let God use it to draw you, together, toward Him.

The Sick

The Church is where the sick gather to be healed from the sickness of sin.

Our pastor made that statement recently. I know she meant it in the context that we are all sinners seeking God's perfection and glory. We'll never be perfect but as Christians we try to walk in the path Jesus laid out for us. So we gather together to worship and to learn.

This statement really hit me in a different way because my uncle just found he has cancer again. This is his third trip down that dark road. He is preparing to leave even though hope still surrounds him. His concerns are for his wife and, then, his children.

Hope. Such a small word for such a big thing. Jesus gave us hope. He taught us that miracles are everywhere and hope is always present even in the most dire circumstances. And he taught us that for Christians the worst only means that we're leaving this life earlier than we'd planned. Our home -- our real home -- is with Him in Heaven. The goodbyes from this life are temporary.

So Church becomes a place where the sick go to find comfort. It is a place where hope and strength live. Where peace abounds. And where loving arms surround us here and in the life to come.