July 17, 2019

Seek Him

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. – Psalm 18:2

My Bible is a map of sorts. It’s marked and colored for the times of my life. There are tear stains mingled among the words. It is where I sought comfort when my world fell apart, when the days seemed to last forever, when I felt too bruised and shattered to go on.

God was, and is, my safe place. He is my Lord and Savior. He is my comforter and secret keeper. He is my biggest cheerleader and the giver of all things good. He is my everything.

This week a sweet friend will experience the first anniversary of the devastating loss of her husband. He was an amazing man who daily lived his faith. They’d both been through so much but found the courage, faith and strength to come together and build a life on the foundation of Jesus. In the aftermath, it is Jesus who has carried her through the storm.

Sometimes I wonder if any of us can truly know Jesus until He has carried you forward when you were too weak and broken to take another step. Once you’ve been there, it’s impossible to stay the same. There’s a strength in knowing that He truly is the rock, the foundation, on which to build our lives. He is the One who is faithful and trustworthy no matter what happens.

My friend clings to the cross this week, just as she’s done so many times. I’ve no doubt her Bible tells the story of heartbreak and loss and, now, renewal in the ashes as God rebuilds her life in this new normal.

I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know the scars you bear. But I do know that strength and comfort come when you seek God. Let His Words wash over you. You are not alone.

July 9, 2019

Hope

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

One friend spends her days in physical agony as she awaits surgery. Another desperately tries to balance a job, an elderly mother and grandchildren. Still another friend watches her barely adult children make mistake after mistake, breaking her heart again and again.

Hope. This little thing we cling to when the way is uncertain and we can’t see the light for all the darkness. It’s the miracle that keeps us taking yet another step forward rather than giving in to despair.

I won’t throw out platitudes. Words can’t ease pain, whether that pain is physical or emotional. Sometimes onlookers make situations worse by trying to help. Some journeys are just hard. That’s a fact.

Here’s what I have learned: God is there. In the darkest night, God is there. When there is no hope left in your heart, God is there. When you don’t see a way, God is there. Miracles happen every day. Some are small steps forward. Some are amazing things you couldn’t ever have predicted. God is the source of them all.

I don’t know what you are facing today. I don’t know your struggle. But I do know the light remains. Keep hoping. Keep believing. And don’t ever give up. God is faithful. Always and forever. Trust Him. He won’t let you down.

October 24, 2018

Hold Tightly to Jesus

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. – Hebrews 13:8

Life is all about changes. The days may sometimes feel like they are covered in sameness but the reality is that change can send us reeling without a moment’s notice.

People can be so fickle. One day you’re surrounded by “friends,” secure in the knowledge that you have found your tribe. Then you find out that it was never about you but about what you could offer them. You’ve probably been there. People think the world of you until they no longer need you.

It hurts, doesn’t it? Even if you suspected all along, it still leaves a scar. You know in your mind that they’re the lesser for it, that they were never true friends, but for a moment in time you thought you might belong.

Have you ever thought you’d spend forever with someone only to see them walk away? It hurts, doesn’t it? There’s a deep core sadness, a lingering distrust. People make promises and break them all the time. You just never thought it would happen to you.

Maybe you poured your life into your career. You’ve worked hard. You thought you’d always have a job, always be secure. Until one day your company decided to downsize and you find out you’re one of the ones without a job. You devoted yourself to a company that didn’t care about you like you cared about it.

There are so many times in life when circumstances send us reeling. Sometimes it’s a catastrophic event, such as a death or a storm or a lingering illness. Other times it’s betrayal.

Betrayal comes in all forms. Sometimes it’s working hard on a project only to have your co-worker take all the credit. Sometimes it’s telling someone something in confidence only to have them tell everyone your secret. Sometimes it’s getting blamed for something you didn’t do and having people turn against you.

I am so thankful that Jesus never changes. He’s always the same. Honest. Trustworthy. Dependable. Jesus loves me with a love I can’t begin to comprehend. He loves you just the same.

Today there are people waking up to nothing but devastation. There are people walking around with broken hearts so shattered that no amount of glue can fix them. There are people who are sick and trying to forge ahead. There are people who have just buried a child, lost a parent, or gone through a divorce.

I saw a Facebook post that reminded people to be kind and show grace and mercy. Tempers can get short when our world has been destroyed. We lash out and that creates an avalanche of unintended consequences. Everyone is hurting in some way. Everyone has lost something or someone. Everyone faces things we can’t see.

Jesus sees. He knows. He offers us love and compassion with no limit. I don’t know what you’re going through today. But trust in Jesus. He is your rock when the world seems to be out of control. He is your everything when your world turns into rubble. Trust Him.

Jesus never changes. When you can’t hold on to anything else, when you can’t seem to find anyone you can trust, hold tightly to that. Hold tightly to Jesus.

September 26, 2018

He Chose Me

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last – and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” – John 15:16

It had been a particularly bad day in a life that hadn’t been that great. I was only 15 but I’d known more than my share of rejection. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

My Mother hated me. No one understood. They assumed I was exaggerating or it was just a fight. I didn’t try to talk about it to anyone anymore. They didn’t hear her words. They didn’t see the hatred in her eyes.

I planned to kill myself that day. As I waited for night to come, I went outside and sat on the grass. I held a Bible – her childhood Bible – and sobbed to God. I can’t say I knew Him but I sure wanted to. There was no one else to listen.

I opened the Bible to the Psalms. We were not a church going family, but I always found comfort in the words. Do you know what the first verse I read was?

Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. – Psalm 27:10

And because of that verse, I lived. Nothing in my circumstances changed. I lived in a house filled with hatred that was mostly directed at me. But the peace I felt carried me through the days. God’s Presence fueled my determination to survive and to create a different life for myself.

It wasn’t until many years later that I fully understood that the peace I felt came from the Holy Spirit. I didn’t become a Christian when I was baptized in college. I became a Christian that day I cried out to God in pain and He answered me with Himself.

I have not always lived up to His standards. I’m sure I’ll continue to let Him down again and again as I continue my journey home. But I know where I’m going. He chose me that day. Everyone else had rejected me but He called me His.

We like to think the choice is ours. We like to believe that we’re in control. And I guess we could say no. But how can anyone really say no to Jesus? Knowing Him has been the best gift I could ever receive.

I believe He sought me out long before I cried out to Him that day. There was a reason I clung to that tattered Bible. There was a reason I’d read the Psalms when I was heartbroken from the daily battles. I instinctively sought the One who could save me. And He, in turn, drew me near, bit by bit, until I became fully His.

I don’t know what your story is. Some people grow up in church and say they’ve always felt His Presence. Others know all the answers but that doesn’t seem to make a difference in their lives. I’m thankful it’s up to God to judge our hearts.

I love Him. It really is that simple. I love Him because He first loved me. I love Him because when everyone else thought I was worthless He called me beloved. I love Him because He never left me. He gave me hope. He chose me. I am so very thankful.

April 22, 2018

Trust God

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

– Proverbs 3:5-6

A few days ago I wrote down a very specific prayer request. I’d prayed in general for this thing to come to pass but this time I got specific. Two days later, God answered my prayer.

I don’t know what surprised me more: That He answered my prayer so quickly or that He answered it at all. I was shocked at my reaction. I know God answers prayer. He does it all the time for me and for others. It’s something I talk about again and again. But this prayer was just so specific and He did it – for me.

What I prayed for doesn’t matter. I will tell you that it wasn’t something major. It was something much smaller. I know that God cares about the details of our lives. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. God has numbered the hairs on our heads. He cares about the little things. But He cared about my little thing and I was just so amazed.

Isn’t that just like God to show up when we really aren’t expecting Him? This is one of those things that had gone on for months. I’d really given up hope. My prayers had been general and maybe a little half-hearted. Did I really expect success in this? But when I got specific, when I really turned it over to Him totally, God showed up in the most glorious way.

Sometimes I think I hold back on my prayer requests because I am so aware of all that God has done for me. I have no right to ask for anything else. He has carried me through the worst of storms. He soothed my battered flesh and lifted my spirits with hope. I am just so very grateful. I didn’t deserve all He has done for me and I certainly don’t deserve anything more.

Yet, God shows up again and again. I implore Him to guard my steps so that I follow His light and not my own desires. I am so thankful for all the times He has told me “no” or “not yet”. Have you ever looked back and thanked God for His protection from something you thought you wanted? He is just so wise!

I am not a trusting person. Life has taught me that the people closest to you can and will betray you in the worst possible ways. Trust is something earned over time. Betrayal can come in an instant, slamming the foundation of what you thought you knew and battering it into tiny pieces.

But God. How trustworthy is He? I am just so grateful, so thankful, that He is always by my side! God loves us with a love we can never fully comprehend. He always wants what is best for us. He always tells the truth. And He never leaves us alone to deal with whatever heartbreak or mess we are facing.

God also celebrates with us. He draws us close as we tell Him our joys, as we smile at the beauty of today. He is never consumed with jealousy or envy. God loves that we are happy. God laughs with us and rejoices on all the good that comes our way.

I don’t know what the days ahead will bring. I have no map that shows the future. But I know that God is with me. I know that whatever comes – the good and the bad – God will guide me through it. My goal, my part, is to stay focused on Him and to trust in His light to show me the way.

April 6, 2018

Betrayal Hurts

Then one of the Twelve – the one called Judas Iscariot – went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

– Matthew 26:14-16

Can you imagine how much it hurt Jesus to be betrayed by someone so close to Him? Jesus knew Judas would ultimately sell Him to be murdered. That was why Jesus came, after all. But, still, it had to break His heart.

Jesus was fully God and fully human. He felt the same pain we feel when someone we trusted turns on us. And for what? Thirty pieces of silver. Was it really worth the cost?

On this side, we understand that it had to be. Jesus died so we who believe won’t have to face death and eternal separation from God. Death couldn’t hold Him and, because of Him, it can’t hold us. What a wonderful gift! What an awesome God!

But have we ever considered His pain? It’s difficult to accept that a co-worker would go behind your back and plot to destroy you. It’s hard when it’s someone you know, someone who claims to share your faith, someone you believed liked you. But when it’s someone close to you, well, that’s a whole different level of heartache.

After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” – John 13:21

He saw it coming. Jesus knew His friend, His disciple, a man who had spend three years by His side, was going to hand Him over to be crucified. He could have stopped it but He didn’t. Jesus loved us that much.

But do you think knowing the end result lessoned Jesus’ pain? John tells us Jesus was troubled. I would have wanted to stop it, to demand that my friend admit what he planned and change course. It sounds good but, honestly, someone who would plot against you, speak ill of you, isn’t likely to change course where there’s money and/or power involved.

There’s no way to completely guard against the evil that sometimes springs forth from hearts we thought we knew. To do so would leave us with hardened hearts, incapable of feeling anything. That’s surely not the answer. Maybe there is no answer.

The truth is that there will always be people masquerading as your friends who, in the end, will intentionally do you harm. There are people who call themselves family, either by blood or by law, that will turn on you, spreading lies and the ugliness that lives in their hearts.

Jesus gets it. He understands how deep the hurts goes. He feels your pain because He’s been there. And He knows that sometimes you don’t have any other choice but to continue on into the storm, seeing the betrayal that’s coming but being powerless to stop it.

I wish people would do different, don’t you? I wish everyone would end the games and just put on a cloak of honesty. But that’s not the real world. That’s not what some people are capable of doing.

We’re all flawed human beings, struggling to do the best we can while living in a fallen world. Those who intentionally seek to harm and destroy are inevitable. Keep your guard up and watch your heart. Don’t let the lies and deceit of others cause you to lose your way. Just cling tightly to Jesus and trust that He’ll be with you as you weather the inevitable storm.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Caregivers Need Prayers

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. -- Psalm 25:16-17

“Another day, another doctor’s appointment,” I laughed to myself. Except it wasn’t funny. It’s just so hard trying to help someone who has a chronic condition when that person won’t do things that will help alleviate some of her symptoms.

The stress of a caregiver never seems to end. I thought I was prepared. Most of the time I deal with it okay. Then, once again, I’m faced with attitude and resentment and I wonder why I bother caring at all. I know I’m not alone. I’ve heard too many caregivers say pretty much the same thing.

Criticism abounds. From every corner. They resent needing help. I understand. I do. I’m independent and those times when I need help, I’m not happy about it. But there is no gratitude. Ever. From anyone. I know it shouldn’t matter. The Bible calls us to have a servant’s heart. I try. But I’m human and every now and then I’d like some acknowledgement that I am a necessary and needed part of their lives.

I have a dear friend who is going through something similar. Her mother’s health is failing and she needs help. Her mother criticizes everything her daughter does for her. It’s never right. It’s never enough. And it’s never appreciated.

She told me, “I love my, Mama. I do. But sometimes it’s just so frustrating. I want to scream. Why does she have to make everything so hard?”

I understand that. Every forward movement is a struggle, with lots of drama, only to be told later that they knew it was necessary. So why the drama? Because it wasn’t their idea? Because they felt like being ornery? Who knows!

I find myself getting angry sometimes and I force myself to hold it inside. I deal with it through humor, sometimes sarcastic humor, but humor keeps the tears at bay. Others don’t understand and look down on me. but they aren’t living with verbal abuse everyday.

I’ve come to understand that just as love and hate are closely related, so are anger and hurt. I get angry when the hurt is just too deep and raw to bear. Understanding that helps me cope but it doesn’t heal my broken heart.

I have spent many hours with God, and He calms me as no one else can. He dries my tears and strengthens me for another day. I do what I do because it’s what He has called me to do. I may not ever understand why, when I am so inadequate and so unwanted where I am. But I will do His will no matter what.

There are countless caregivers out there doing the very best they can. Most times they are suffering from guilt and fatigue and a burden unlike any other. It’s a daily thing that never lets up. Say a prayer for them today. And show them kindness and compassion. No matter how much you think you know about another person’s situation, you never really know until you’ve walked their path.

Thursday, December 22, 2010

Love Those Who Are Hurting

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come."

-- Matthew 24:42

The anguished post was short and to the point. Her daddy was dying, the family was standing watch, and they really needed prayer. Numerous people, myself included, quickly sent notes and asked God to comfort this family during this heartbreaking journey.

It's Christmas and joy is all around us. But joy isn't something that anyone can assume. For some, like the woman I mentioned, sadness overwhelms everything else. I know. There's something especially awful about losing someone you love during this season of hope.

For others, it is a season of firsts. Another friend sent a special photo in her Christmas card. She lost her daddy earlier in the year. The photo is of my friend and the great-grandbaby her daddy never got to meet. She called it the circle of life. And it is. Life gives way to death and death to new birth. The Christmas story reminds us of this. A baby came to live and then die for us, only to rise three days later so that we who believe have new life.

Other people are filled with memories and realities that collide. Maybe most people really do have that storybook holiday I see on TV. I don't know. Mine is filled with heartache and feelings of inadequacy. I smile. I laugh. And every year I die a little more inside. I don't think I'm alone. It's just not something we talk about in this season of joy.

Last week three teenagers headed to school. Two met Jesus a short time later. We never know. I doubt either friend I mentioned earlier started the year thinking last Christmas would be the last with their dads. I know the families of those two teens never expected to attend their funerals. We assume a tomorrow that may never be. The Bible warns against that.

I don't mean to sound so depressing. Celebrating Jesus' birthday is a joyous time. It's just that we shouldn't assume that those around us are happy. We should be aware of the heartbreak and heartache. We should remember that Christmas is more than presents and parties. Jesus came to show us how to care for one another. So take a minute and spread a kind word. Offer a hug and say a prayer. Include the rejected and lonely in your plans. Jesus came out of love so show people you know Him by the love in your heart -- especially to those who are hurting.