October 1, 2018

Share Good and Bad

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

What are you celebrating on your own today? What are you handling alone? What are you keeping from others?

These are all questions that the sermon yesterday ignited in all of us. Pastor Ryan Martin noted that James tells us to share our joys and our sorrows with each other. That goes against what our society dictates today. We keep it all to ourselves, accustomed to going through things alone.

What do you think? We do tend to keep things “private,” don’t we? We don’t ask questions. We don’t get involved. We are so busy minding our own business that we miss a very real truth of our faith. We are meant to do life together, sharing the good and the bad. But we don’t.

I get it. I do. I’m there too. So, the next question is why? Why are we so afraid to share ourselves with others? Maybe the answer is fear. It might be shame. It might be an unwillingness to be held up in praise for fear of what others will say.

Here’s an example. A sweet friend has lost 50 lbs. recently. She’s challenged herself to a exercise regimen and has changed her eating habits. I’m so proud of her determination. Others aren’t. She’s been publicly criticized for how she’s accomplishing her goals. I am appalled at what she’s faced.

As her friends, we should be her biggest cheerleaders. How dare someone question her methods?! It’s not an easy journey but it works for her. It’s medically sound. She’s happy. Why would anyone not congratulate her?

Ah, yes. There’s that little thing called jealousy. There’s always someone around to rain discouragement on our celebration. There’s always someone who can’t feel good about themselves without bashing someone else.

Do you think that’s why so many people don’t share the joys in their lives? Do you think they’re afraid of the criticism? It’s certainly understandable.

And, then, there’s the other side. We tend to handle our sorrows alone too. Maybe it’s shame that we somehow lost a great job, even if it was due to downsizing and nothing that we did or didn’t do. Maybe we don’t want to hear the ugly comments about why our spouse had an affair, or our child ended up a drug addict, or any other horrible thing.

Have you ever heard someone lash out at a person just diagnosed with lung cancer? I have. It’s an unnecessary ugliness. The last thing anyone needs to hear is they gave themselves cancer. Compassion goes a long way when people are hurting.

Our reactions to the news from others – be it good or bad news – causes people to turn inward to isolation or turn outward to loving arms. Which do you think Jesus would do? That’s right. He drew the hurting toward Himself. And He rejoiced with those who were rejoicing.

We weren’t meant to live our lives alone. We were meant to join together in prayer and celebration, in good times and in hard times. We were meant to get into each other’s business, to help, to share, to care.

There’s nothing quite like someone who joins you in celebration. And there are few things as comforting as someone who shows up when you’re hurting, when you’re alone, when you need a hug. Be that person.

February 2, 2016

God Comforts Us

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. -- Matthew 5:4

There are many different types of grief. We think of grief mostly when we have lost a loved one. We also can grieve the loss of a pet, a job, a way of life.

There is another type of grief we don’t think of too often. It is the loss of a relationship. I’m not talking about divorce here, though that certainly does cause grief. I’m talking about what happens when people change or, maybe worse, you find out that the person you love isn’t at all who you thought they were.

A dear friend woke up last week to a new reality. The son she adores has done something unthinkable. He is in jail and will almost certainly be headed to prison because, yes, he did what he is accused of doing. She wanted so much more for her only child. When he was a teenager, she believed he would be a preacher. He took a wrong turn, then another and another and now here they are at this place. She is grief stricken.

Another friend asked for prayer for his brother. He, too, took a wrong turn into self-destruction. He faces felony theft and DUI charges. It doesn’t look good. Their family is devastated. They have been praying for this young man for such a long time and still he chose again and again the wrong path.

We can’t control the choices of others. We can’t turn things back. We can’t make people better than they are. All we can do is pray for them and ask God to strengthen us so that we don’t go down that same path.

It is tempting to sin in our efforts to save the lost. It is tempting to sin in our need for revenge against the anguish they have caused us. It is tempting to walk away and forget to care.

Instead we seek God’s comfort and ask Him to give us the strength and guidance to make the right choices for everyone. We trust that He is near no matter what the circumstances. We trust that He has a plan for all to be saved and for His own glory. We rest is His arms knowing that He will comfort us as we mourn what could have been.