June 20, 2022

 

Change Starts with You

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. – Galatians 5:22-23

 

What does kindness mean to you? If you are kind to someone else, do you expect accolades or at least reciprocation? Do you tell everyone about your wonderful deed?

 

What about patience? Are you patient with others as God is patient with you? Or do you get in a hurry, yelling and gesturing at other drivers or bad-mouthing the fast-food worker for not performing to your expectations?

 

Are you faithful to God ALL the time or only when it’s convenient? Do you show up for church, volunteer, tithe and study the Bible only when it fits into your busy schedule? Do you explain away your good intentions even as another week goes by?

 

We’ve all been talking about guns and gun violence. We’ve pointed fingers and blamed mental illness, all the while clinging to our own rights and views. We’ve told others they need to change but we refuse to open our minds to our responsibilities.

 

This is not where I lecture you on guns or the poor or even on going to church. I support the Second Amendment, giving to the poor and attending church each week. But mostly I advocate for change in how we treat other people each and every day. That’s where change starts. Not in Washington or in other political groups. It doesn’t even start in the “church” as we call it. Change begins with you and me and when we change, when we become more like Jesus, the world around us begins to change too.

 

Yesterday we studied the Fruit of the Spirit, found in Galatians. We didn’t focus on the things we shouldn’t do. Instead, we focused on what we as individuals could do to bring change within our own hearts so that it ripples out into the world.

 

Growing fruit seems so easy. Start with love and everything else flows from that. But we have trouble loving people who aren’t like us. We don’t particularly want to accept people who don’t look like us or talk like us or, let’s get real here, are born into our country to parents who have been here a while.

 

What would happen if we stopped judging people? What would change if we intentionally loved those around us, including those we don’t agree with and those who maybe haven’t met our expectations of what living a good life really looks like?

 

Jesus said we are the light of the world. Each day we have a choice. We can love and, in so doing, be living examples of the Fruit of the Spirit. Or we can remain self-focused, determined to keep our own best interests ahead of what God actually tells us to do.

 

Do you want to change what’s wrong with the world? Look in the mirror. That’s the person you start with.

March 3, 2022

 

What Are You Giving Up?

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

– Galatians 5:22-23a

 

It is the season of Lent. We attended a beautiful Ash Wednesday service last night and it really got me thinking about what we give up for Lent. Or, perhaps, what we do for Lent.

 

Our church is reading the New Testament in its entirety during the 47 days leading up to Easter. The idea is that as we read and spend time in the Word, we’ll become more like the people of Easter. In other words, we’ll become more like Jesus and His early disciples.

 

Just before this passage on the fruit of the Spirit, Paul wrote about giving up the acts of the flesh. He included hatred, selfish ambition, jealousy, immorality and discord. He was telling us how not to live and then how to live.

 

So, I wondered what would happen if we gave up something that mattered to God?

 

What would happen if instead of trying to “fix” people who weren’t like us, we loved them like Jesus? How would our lives change if we sought joy rather than focusing on the negativity around us? Perhaps we could plant peace in our hearts rather than choose to lash out at others. Maybe we could be patient with those who don’t meet our expectations, just as God is patient with us. Maybe we could practice kindness to those we view as outcasts. Goodness could replace harsh words. Faithfulness could call us to worship God in truth and not just words. Gentleness might turn us toward compassion. And self-control could cause us to think about ourselves less and to actually listen to others before we judge.

 

I’m certainly not against giving up chocolate or soda, if that’s what you prefer. And we could all use less social media these days. But I wonder how highly God thinks of our “sacrifices” and our “discipline” when it does nothing to bring honor to Him or His Kingdom.

 

So, instead of going the easier route I challenge you to give up something that matters to God. Seek to truly live the fruits of the Spirit and, in so doing, shine His light for all to see.

August 9, 2021

 

What Does Kindness Look Like?

 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

– Colossians 3:12

 

Another year, another new school. She was used to it. It was the life of a military child. She joined the throng of teenagers and lined up to purchase her lunch. Where to sit? She started toward an open table.

 

Someone called her name and she turned. She recognized a girl from her morning history class. The girl’s smile was warm as she beckoned her toward a table where several other students already sat.

 

She joined the group, smiling at introductions and good-natured banter. She was included. The warmth of that kind gesture filled her up.

 

The elderly man shuffled to his mailbox. Cars zoomed by. Young families scurried into their homes. He hardly knew anyone in the neighborhood anymore. It was so different from when he and his wife first moved into their new house. Two babies soon followed and they were busy and happy. Life was good.

 

These days it was just him. It had been almost five years since his wife went home to Jesus. His kids and their families had long since moved away. Their lives were busy with careers and children. He rarely saw them anymore. He rarely saw anyone anymore. He just wasn’t able to get out much, especially when it involved driving the busy roads.

 

He noticed a young man cross the street and head toward him. A smile lit his face at the unexpected company. They sat on the front porch rockers and visited awhile. Then something extraordinary happened. The young man invited his elderly neighbor to church and lunch afterwards.

 

The next Sunday the elderly man dressed up and was ready way before the young man pulled his car into the driveway. He’d worried that he’d be too slow but the young man never seemed concerned. He met a lot of nice people at church and afterwards at lunch. The young man insisted on paying. His treat, he said. The elderly man felt his heart fill with warmth. It had been a long time since anyone had chosen to spend time with him.

 

We talk a lot about kindness these days. Be Kind the signs tell us. We know kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. But what does it look like? We’re nice to people, aren’t we? We try to do good things for our friends and coworkers. But strangers? Well, maybe not so much. We really don’t want to be inconvenienced. We’d prefer to spend our free time with “our” people and not invite someone new into the group.

 

But what if we did? What if we intentionally reached out to the lonely, the forgotten, those who couldn’t repay us? What if we chose to be kind not because of what we might gain but because of what we might give? What if we showed up and really loved people like Jesus?

November 13, 2019

Be Kind to Everyone

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Kindness has become a “thing.” You know. It’s having a moment of popularity in a world that seems increasingly filled with violence and hatred.

Except kindness was always supposed to be a thing. It’s part of the fruit of the Spirit. It’s part of who we are called to be as children of God.

We know that. We do. Except for the exceptions. We don’t believe we should have to be kind – or nice – to people who aren’t kind to us. That whole love your enemies thing just isn’t reality. That’s what we tell ourselves and others anyway.

And surely we shouldn’t be expected to be kind to people who don’t have a job. We don’t need to know their story to understand that they’re nothing more than deadbeats expecting the rest of us to carry them. We don’t care what the Bible says about taking care of the poor. Surely God wasn’t talking about “those” kinds of people.

Let’s not even talk about being kind to liberals (or conservatives). They don’t have a clue of what it’s like to be a real Christian. They kill babies, give everything we’ve worked for to the poor and want to hand our country over to the communists. We don’t need to hear what they have to say.

We don’t need to bother with strangers. Why should we show kindness to someone we don’t know, someone who really can’t do anything for us? We’ll gladly help God’s people so long as they look, act and live like us. But only if we can give money. We’re just too busy to serve in any other way.

Anybody can show kindness to someone we know and love. We show our faith, we show Jesus, when we’re kind to everyone. Remember: It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about Him. Every time you slight someone, look down on someone, or refuse compassion, you are doing the same to Jesus.

January 23, 2018

Be Kind

Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves. – Proverbs 11:17

She was on a mission and that mission was to exclude someone from “her” weekly lunch group. She was full of excuses. Her determination to be cruel shocking.

She is typically a kind woman. She volunteers with hospice. She is active in church. She is a dedicated caregiver to her elderly husband. She is a friend to many. But for some reason this man, who had never been anything but kind to her, just rubbed her the wrong way. She didn’t care if she hurt him. She didn’t care if he got mad. She just wasn’t going to have him at her lunch table.

She got her way. He didn’t come. He was deeply hurt by her rejection. He viewed she and her husband as friends. He would still no doubt do anything for them if the need ever arises. That’s who he is. Unfortunately, that apparently is who she is as well.

Her relationships with those around have been damaged. Her best friend is horrified that she would needlessly hurt a good man, that she would intentionally exclude someone who has only ever been good to her. “I don’t agree with this,” she told me emphatically. “You make sure he knows that.”

I nodded. I was the one in between. Friends of them both. The one who had to break the news, to deliver her decision. I resented that. He didn’t deserve it. Neither did I.

I tried to reconcile the woman who had become so dear to me with the hatefulness that I saw. It didn’t seem possible that one person could be both. Reality doesn’t lie. I suppose the truth is we all have that two-sidedness in us. We can be so kind and compassionate to some people and just so mean to others. It was a wakeup call to me. I hope it’s a wakeup call to you as well.

She keeps calling me, continuing to make excuses. I change the subject, she brings it up again. I believe it is the Holy Spirit convicting her. I’ve moved on, as has this dear man. She can’t seem to let it go. She was wrong and, deep inside, she knows it.

But that’s between her and God. I learned long ago that I can’t fix anyone other than myself. Some people are going to lash out in anger and bitterness. Some people are going to be cruel just because they can. And some people are going to try to talk themselves into justifying bad actions, in their own minds at least. So be it. God will handle it in His way and His timing.

Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Why do we have so much trouble with it? Why is it sometimes so hard to show mercy and grace to those around us? Why must we be hurtful and cruel? We judge by our own standards even as we fail to live up to God’s.

When in doubt about what to do, choose kindness. When you aren’t sure how to react, remember that love covers a multitude of sins. Be gracious and filled with mercy. Don’t just talk about Jesus. Live like Him too.Live 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Patience Goes With Kindness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. -- Galatians 5:22a

I am not a patient person. I know that. Pretty much everyone around me knows that. I want to be a patient person. Really. I do. I just get so exasperated. I just wish I could bottle all that energy I spend each day holding my tongue.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to work with young children at church. I surprised myself. I found that when it comes to small kids, I actually can be really patient. They don’t push any buttons, unless you count the “awe” button because they are so cute sometimes.

I wondered what the difference could be. Why am I patient with them and yet so impatient with other people? Do you know what I mean? Are you sometimes really patient with some people and other people just drive you crazy?

I think I’ve finally come to understand the difference for me. Little children are just learning how to do things. They try their best and if they mess up, so what. They’ll try again and again until they get it. The process can be really fun for everyone, especially when you get to participate in building a child’s skill levels and helping with develop self-confidence.

My patience wears thin when adults don’t do what they already know to do. Some of them make the same mistakes again and again. I know it’s difficult. Hey, I make mistakes all the time. But sometimes it’s best to just admit it and move on. Don’t blame it on someone else and don’t keep making excuses.

One of the most humbling and liberating things I have ever come to accept about myself is that I don’t have to know everything or be able to do everything. I can ask for help. I can admit I don’t know. For example, I am horrible at sports. It’s not a matter of practice or willingness or attitude. I simply have almost no coordination. I love watching football and baseball. But I’m not someone who’s going to join in a team sport. And that’s okay.

I hope as I age I’ll be able to admit it when my skills and abilities start to fade. I realize I’ll likely be in a unique position. I don’t have children or a spouse to look after me. I’ll probably be that little old lady who can barely drive her car down the road. So I beg you now to be patient with me. And I ask God to let me be patient with those who are in that position of aloneness now.

Every day I struggle to hold my tongue. Every day I try desperately for a patience I don’t feel. I am reminded that feelings shouldn’t enter into my actions. I should do, or refrain from doing, based on patience and kindness. Older people lose abilities and pride keeps them from admitting it and asking for help. They want to be like they were 20 years ago and they’re not. I can understand that. I want to be like I was 20 years ago too but I’m not. We can’t go back.

Maybe I can pluck the fruit of patience off God’s tree. Maybe I can focus on love and goodness and gentleness. Maybe I can practice self-control and that, in turn, will lead to patience. And kindness. Because sometimes patience really isn’t so much about holding your tongue as it is about being kind. And that is something I can do.