August 9, 2021

 

What Does Kindness Look Like?

 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

– Colossians 3:12

 

Another year, another new school. She was used to it. It was the life of a military child. She joined the throng of teenagers and lined up to purchase her lunch. Where to sit? She started toward an open table.

 

Someone called her name and she turned. She recognized a girl from her morning history class. The girl’s smile was warm as she beckoned her toward a table where several other students already sat.

 

She joined the group, smiling at introductions and good-natured banter. She was included. The warmth of that kind gesture filled her up.

 

The elderly man shuffled to his mailbox. Cars zoomed by. Young families scurried into their homes. He hardly knew anyone in the neighborhood anymore. It was so different from when he and his wife first moved into their new house. Two babies soon followed and they were busy and happy. Life was good.

 

These days it was just him. It had been almost five years since his wife went home to Jesus. His kids and their families had long since moved away. Their lives were busy with careers and children. He rarely saw them anymore. He rarely saw anyone anymore. He just wasn’t able to get out much, especially when it involved driving the busy roads.

 

He noticed a young man cross the street and head toward him. A smile lit his face at the unexpected company. They sat on the front porch rockers and visited awhile. Then something extraordinary happened. The young man invited his elderly neighbor to church and lunch afterwards.

 

The next Sunday the elderly man dressed up and was ready way before the young man pulled his car into the driveway. He’d worried that he’d be too slow but the young man never seemed concerned. He met a lot of nice people at church and afterwards at lunch. The young man insisted on paying. His treat, he said. The elderly man felt his heart fill with warmth. It had been a long time since anyone had chosen to spend time with him.

 

We talk a lot about kindness these days. Be Kind the signs tell us. We know kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. But what does it look like? We’re nice to people, aren’t we? We try to do good things for our friends and coworkers. But strangers? Well, maybe not so much. We really don’t want to be inconvenienced. We’d prefer to spend our free time with “our” people and not invite someone new into the group.

 

But what if we did? What if we intentionally reached out to the lonely, the forgotten, those who couldn’t repay us? What if we chose to be kind not because of what we might gain but because of what we might give? What if we showed up and really loved people like Jesus?

September 6, 2018

You Are Never Alone

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6

There comes the time when everyone goes home. People go back to work. Friends get on with their lives. And there you are. Silence echoes within the walls of a once bustling home. You are alone.

I heard it in his voice when he called. “I just need to talk to somebody,” he said. “You seemed like a good person to do that with,” he added.

Because I’ve been there. It’s a different set of circumstances but the grief, well, it’s just the same. There’s that moment when panic begins to set in and you realize that this new normal wasn’t what you had planned at all.

We invited him out to eat. He spoke again and again of how good it was to talk to somebody. He’d only been alone just over day. We encouraged him to get involved in church, to have lunch with friends, to make an effort to get out. He knows the truth of all that. The reality? Well, it’s easier to say what you need to do than it is to actually make yourself do it.

Some people bound back from grief, or any kind of devastation, with an amazing strength. I don’t know them. That was not my journey. It isn’t my journey. Because deep grief stays with you. It changes you. It makes you know that life is full of uncertainty – with one exception.

God never leaves us alone with our pain. God never, ever turns away from our tears. God fills us up with hope and endurance when we don’t know how we’ll ever make it through the day.

God is there. Always and forever. I’ve held on to that promise so many nights, when the darkness threatened to overwhelm the resolves of the day. It’s easy to panic when you’re alone. It’s common to overreact when you’ve no one to speak truth to your pain. It’s normal to think that tomorrow could never be better than today.

He will find rest in God. He will find comfort in God alone. He will find strength to carry on through God. It’s only when we turn toward our Creator that we draw what we need to sustain life. It’s a new life. It’s a different journey. He is there.

No one can truly fix this. I sometimes think that’s why so many people turn away from grief. We want to make it better and that’s something we just can’t do. Death separates us from those we love. Through Christ’s blood, we will reunite in heaven one day. But, oh, those days between the here and the then can tear you up inside.

I watched him walk alone into the home he’d shared with her. They’d raised a family there. It was filled with memories. It was consumed with silence. Will he be okay? I don’t know. All I can do is walk beside him and remind him that he is loved by so many. All I can do is point him toward God and the promises of His Word.

When we are too weary, too lost, too alone, God carries us. It’s a truth I’ve learned along the way.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Do You See The Lonely?

She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” -- Genesis 16:13

Being invisible is one of the loneliest things we could ever experience. When no one sees us, we appear worthless, unimportant, unnecessary. That can destroy a person’s soul.

How hard it must have been for Hagar. She was a servant girl, given by her mistress to that woman’s husband so that she would have children for the mistress. It wasn’t uncommon in those days. But, oh, what heartbreak!

So she ran away. She was tired of being treated badly. Can you relate to that? I sure can. But God sent an angel to speak with her, to send her back, to promise that life would not always be so.

God didn’t call her to something easy. Submitting to a woman who treats you badly isn’t easy. Being treated as property -- which women and servants were in early Biblical times -- is demeaning. And yet she went back. Because God saw her, recognized her pain, and cared for her.

We don’t know anyone like that. Or do we? Do we see the people around us? Do we recognize the hurting, the lost, the alone? Are you sure? Are you really, really sure?

A childhood friend contacted me a while back. She moved away long ago but her mother still lives in our hometown. She mentioned how depressed the older woman had been. She goes to church (a different church from the one I attend) but she feels so alone. With all her family having moved away, she has no one to sit with during worship service. Oh, she’s surrounded by people. It’s a large church. But there’s no one that knows her name and seeks her out. She is just another face in a sea of faces.

This dear woman told my friend that if she suddenly stopped attending church she was certain no one would notice. Even in her Sunday school class, she’s just another body. That is so very sad.

Our church has a program that reaches out to people just like that. The only struggle is locating all who need a friendly face, and sometimes a helping hand, amidst all our attendees. We don’t want anyone to fall through the cracks. But it’s hard to locate the invisible.

That’s where people like you and me come in. God puts us in contact with people who need a friendly face, a kind word, a place to belong. But we have to do our part. We have to open our eyes to see them. And then we have to reach out as Jesus would do and show them kindness and compassion, friendship and God’s love.