May 16, 2018

Mentors Needed

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

– Titus 2:3-5

She wanted a mentor. Desperately. Tears filled her eyes. She just needed to talk to someone who understood how hard it is to balance husband, kids, work, life.

She’s not alone. There is a desperation coming from younger women, especially mothers, who need someone to guide them and advise them as they juggle their many roles. Unfortunately, that next generation isn’t always willing to step up.

I know. They’re busy. Some of them are still juggling careers and family, this time with grandchildren and adult children. They’re active socially. They have lives. Who wants to invest precious time in someone they probably don’t know?

A Bible study was suggested. What a great idea! Except that it is something mostly populated by younger women. Not always, of course. But often enough to make someone above 60 a treasure when she attends.

Everyone needs an older, trusted advisor and friend. I have a dear one and I am so thankful for her. I didn’t even know I needed her until I “inherited” her from my Mother. She speaks truth in my life when I need it. She gives an unwavering shoulder when tears overflow. She is someone to laugh and share stories with.

Sometimes I think our relationship is one-sided. She gives so much to me. Then I remember that it really is a two-way friendship. I check on her, laugh with her, and am quick to help whenever I can. I have plenty of experience taking people to doctor appointments and such. She knows she can depend on me.

I think of other friends who would give anything to spend time with children. They either don’t have grandchildren or their own grandchildren live far away. What a blessing it would be to share a homecooked meal, cheer someone else’s child along at a game, or share a coffee and some conversation.

The challenge comes in trying to bring together two diverse groups of women. You can’t force a connection. It just doesn’t happen that way. True friendships take time to cultivate. That’s hard in this busy life of ours.

We are trying different things. Bible journaling class brings a cross section of women of all ages together for study and laughter. Crafting classes do the same. The more barriers we break down, the more hopeful I am that those mentoring connections will develop.

If you’re a young person seeking a mentor, -- both women and men need mentors -- open your heart to those around you. Take part in activities that might include all different age groups. And if you’re someone who has entered the next stage of your life, consider sharing your wisdom with someone younger. You’ve learned a lot by living your life, whether you’re aware of it or not. That relationship will fill you up in ways you never imagined. Give it a try.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Teach the Next Generation

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

-- Titus 2:3-5

The preacher was frustrated. He really wanted the women of his congregation to restart a group geared toward missions. One woman considered herself in charge. Her husband was chairman of the deacons and she viewed herself as leader of the women. Except she wasn't leading anybody anywhere.

It was understandable. She was older. She was used to being in charge. She wanted everything done her way. And, frankly, she didn't want any part of the work that comes with restarting a program. Nor did she want anyone else to do it. The woman was full of excuses. The women were getting older. No one was interested. Time was such an issue. And on and on. How sad.

At another church, one woman felt God had called her to restart the same program. She was a retired teacher with more than her share of family responsibilities. She did it for a year, calling on everyone, young and old, to help her. The next year she passed the torch to another woman of about the same age. Again, someone with plenty of experience from years past with the same group. They encouraged all women, young and old, to participate. The following year a much younger woman took the helm. She'd learned how to do things from those who went before her, the same ones standing beside her and helping her every step of the way. Older women teaching younger women how to serve the Lord. What a blessing for all of them.

The same type of blessing the church without the missions group is missing, all because one woman is fighting it. She's focused on self, rather than God. She isn't willing to reach out to younger women, to teach, to pass the torch. That's how wonderful groups stop doing wonderful things.

I hope God will convict this woman and that she'll either help restart the group or get out of the way and let someone else do it. God's work. That's what it's all about.