August 15, 2018

Do You Make Mistakes?

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

– Proverbs 28:13

It’s comical. Really. It is. She absolutely refuses to accept responsibility, insisting that I am somehow at fault for her missing a committee meeting.

Let me explain. At the last meeting, the committee set the day, time and place for the next meeting. She was sitting right next to me in that meeting. She never said one word about a conflict or that a particular day never works for her. Until she realized three weeks later that she couldn’t come because of another meeting.

I don’t know her schedule. Honestly, I don’t want to know her schedule. We’re all adults. I checked my calendar, as did the other committee members. She didn’t. That’s not my fault. It’s not anyone else’s fault. She made a mistake. But she won’t admit that, not will she let it go. We are all shaking our heads in astonishment.

Why is it so hard to admit when we’re wrong? We all make mistakes. We all mess up. Why can’t we admit it and move on? Why do we need to keep defending ourselves and pointing the finger long after we should have moved on?

I suppose it’s easier than looking in the mirror and facing the truth. This was such a small issue but small issues have a way of revealing larger truths. What we do in the small things reflects how we live our lives in the big things. Maybe that’s what we are trying to hide.

A friend shared a story about a new pastor who rode a city bus one day. When he got to his seat, the pastor realized the bus driver had given him an extra quarter in change. What to do? It’s only a quarter. It really isn’t a big deal. Surely, it’s not worth the time to give it back?

But the pastor, when he got ready to get off the bus, felt a nudge inside. He handed over the quarter to the driver, explaining that he’d gotten too much change. The driver simply smiled. It seems the driver was looking for a new church and the extra quarter was a test. He had heard about the pastor but he wanted to check him out first. The bus driver told the pastor he would see him on Sunday.

It was just a quarter. But it wasn’t about the quarter. It was about integrity. What we do with the small things in life reflects how we will live the big ones.

I am sad for my friend. I am sad for any of us who feel we can’t confess a mistake and move on. I’m sad about pointing fingers. And I’m sad that I can’t really trust her on the big things anymore.

Most people are filled with mercy when others make a mistake. Why? Because we’ve all been there. It’s what makes us human. It’s what helps us unite with others. Think about it. Who wants to hang around someone who is perfect all the time? Who wants to share secrets and life with someone who always gets it right?

So, the next time you make a mistake just admit it. Then move on. And the next time someone else makes a mistake, be gracious and move on. No one wins when someone refuses to step up and take responsibility for his own mistakes.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

-- Psalm 32:1-2

What are you holding against yourself? What mistake from your past do you still feel guilty about? What thing keeps rewinding itself in your mind, causing you to mentally beat yourself up -- again -- for something you can’t change?

One of the most difficult things we face is letting go of the past. It haunts us. Satan knows this and uses every opportunity to take advantage of it. He wants us to stay so focused on the past that we can’t do God’s will in the present.

Pastor Rob told us recently that guilt destroys our confidence because we’re always worried about what will happen if somebody finds out. Guilt damages our relationships, causing us to be angry, impatient, overly indulgent with people we love or with ourselves.

He likened it to driving down the road with our head turned and always looking back. We can’t change the past but that past sure can make us sick today.

Pastor Rob suggested that we all take a moral inventory of our lives. Yeah. I think everyone in the congregation squirmed over that one. He told us to sit down alone and write down what is wrong with our lives. Don’t just think about it. Don’t have the television or music blaring. Just sit down with yourself and God.

Ask God to help you and point out what you consciously or unconsciously feel guilty about. Why write it down? Because it forces you to be specific, Pastor Rob explained. Generalities are way easier to deal with than the specifics.

Then Pastor Rob took it a step further. He told us to tell one other person. Share our deepest, darkest mistakes? Seriously? He told us to pick one safe person and tell them what we’re most guilty about. The weight lifted off your soul is amazing. It’s like a small child who did something wrong and is just so relieved when his parents find out and he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.

Be careful though. Not everyone is safe. Don’t tell someone when you know that person is a gossip. Don’t tell a person who is always negative or quick to pass judgment. Find someone mature enough to reflect God’s forgiveness back to you. Maybe a pastor. Maybe an elder in the church. Maybe a dear friend.

Then let it go. Give it to God and accept His forgiveness. God forgives instantly, freely and completely. Think about that, then forgive yourself. The past is the past. Today belongs to you and God. Don’t let Satan take it away from you.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Experiences Make Faith Stronger

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. -- 1 Peter 1:6-7

There are few people around who don’t wish they could somehow go back and wipe out at least part of their past. We’ve all done something we wish we hadn’t. We’ve all done things we don’t want others to know.

And we’ve all felt the weight of judgment on our shoulders. Someone makes an offhand comment about not knowing anyone who has ever done what we’ve done or been where we’ve been. And we sit there silently, afraid to speak and yet wanting to shock their condescending hearts into somehow understanding that real people, good people, make mistakes.

A dear friend recently faced just such a situation. She did something more than 20 years ago. She is a different person now. No one would ever know. But she knows. And she wonders if her silence just reinforces that secret culture that makes Christians think we’re somehow better than we really are.

Because we are all sinners. And sin is sin, no matter how much we’d like to categorize it as “my sin isn’t as bad as someone else’s sin.” But it is.

So does silence mean that we’re saying it’s okay to prejudge? Does keeping secrets make abuse okay? We look around and we see perfect people because their brokenness is hidden. They fear condemnation and rejection. We all do. Because isn’t that what happens when people see our scars?

Except we wouldn’t be the people we are today without the pasts we try so hard to hide. All those mistakes, all those heartaches, work together to turn us into the people we are today. How could we ever appreciate the good, the true, the Holy, without first having experienced the bad, the lies, the darkness?

The fire that comes from trials is what God uses to refine us, to make us stronger and to draw us closer to Him. Just as fire heats gold, sending its impurities to the top, so does God sift us, separating the good from the flawed. It is a painful process but the end result is someone who is of far more use to God than we were before.

So wear your scars without shame. Jesus paid your debt and stands by your side. You have been refined by fire and you are more precious to God than gold.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Let Go Of The Past

“All who invoke a blessing or take an oath will do so by the God of truth. For I will put aside my anger and forget the evil of earlier days.

Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth -- so wonderful that no one will even think about the old ones anymore.” -- Isaiah 65:16-17

How heavy is your baggage? Does it weigh you down? Hold you back? Make you want to give up? It doesn’t have to be that way.

Jesus came to give us the gift of salvation. He died for our sins. That means if we accept His gift, if we believe He died for us and rose again three days later, then we can approach God and ask for forgiveness for our sins. And we’re forgiven!

We don’t have to carry all that baggage around anymore. We don’t have to keep beating ourselves up over past mistakes. We can hand all that guilt over to God and move forward in His grace.

Yeah, I know. Mistakes almost always come with consequences and we have to deal with those. But God helps us. He never leaves us alone, no matter what we’ve done. And He forgives us. It’s amazing. No matter what it is or how others view us, God forgives us.

So why do we refuse to let go of all that baggage? It doesn’t help anyone. In fact, it can hurt us and keep us from realizing the blessings God has planned for us. We become so focused on a past we can’t undo that we can’t see clearly to follow the light ahead of us.

Jesus paid for our sins. God loves and forgives us. All we have to do is ask. God has put our sins behind Him. Why can’t we do the same?