March 26, 2018

Watch Your Words

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word.

– Proverbs 15:23

Are you one of those people who always think of the right thing to say – long after the moment has passed? Me too.

I wish I were someone who could just let things go. I can’t. I just go over and over it in my mind. It drives me crazy, especially when I think of something wonderful to say a few hours later.

It’s always those people with the biting remarks that get me. You know who I’m talking about. They are the people who smile sweetly even as they seek to crush you with their words. Their not-always-subtle putdowns hurt. I wish I could turn my hurt into prayer – for the person who hurt me and for my own heart to heal and forgive. Sometimes I can. Sometimes not so much.

Years ago a co-worker bragged on the nice athletic jacket he’d received with his purchase of season baseball tickets. I told him that was great and wished I received the same giveaway with my season ticket purchase. That was the opening he wanted. He made a smart comment about how much better his tickets were than mine.

He was right. His tickets were premium seats right behind home plate. My tickets were slightly off and much higher. There was one difference however. “At least I can afford to keep mine,” I said without hesitation.

He wasn’t expecting that. “That was good,” he acknowledged. I nodded. His putdown had missed its mark because I knew the rest of the story. I knew that every year he sold his entire ticket package because he couldn’t afford the tickets.

These days I likely would have kept silent. It’s something I work on. I have a sharp tongue, especially when someone intentionally hurts me or pushes that button we all have. I really didn’t accomplish much with my own ugly comment. This man might have respected me a little more but he didn’t change his ways. He was a putdown artist and proud of it.

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. – Proverbs 15:28

Sometimes I wonder if I should have said the words I held back in other situations. Silence leads people to believe that you’re too dumb to understand their motives. A quiet tongue means that you’re too insecure to defend yourself.

Well, actually no. I’ve come to understand that God protects and defends those who depend on Him. Vengeance belongs to God alone. It’s better to let things go than to try and handle the situation myself. I’ll only make it worse. God can only make it better.

I also know that words can never be unsaid. Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? Have you ever tried to erase from your memory hurtful words someone has said to you? No amount of apologizing, no amount of forgiveness, can ever completely silence them.

A kind word can heal a fragile soul. Wisdom given at just the right moment can help a person take the right path. But hurtful words, powerful zingers designed only to maim, are best turned away with silence. Don’t respond in kind – no matter how much you’d rather do so. Trust God to handle it because He always does.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Meet God In The Silence

“My sheep recognize my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” -- John 10:27

The other day a friend, along with her mother and aunt, decided to make a quick trip to a neighboring town. Another driver decided she could text on her cell phone and listen to music and drive all at the same time. The result almost brought devastation.

The young girl nearly sideswiped my friend’s car. The only reason she didn’t is that my friend is a very aware driver, saw the girl’s car coming into her lane, and left the road. The oblivious driver kept going.

My friend sped up and pulled along side the girl. Her head was bobbing to the music no doubt coming from the earbuds firmly planted in her ears. Her eyes were on the cell phone in front of her as her fingers worked the keys. Only fleetingly did she glance at the road.

This girl had no idea that her decision could easily have cost all four of them their lives. As it was, my friend’s mother and aunt were nervous wrecks. A year or so ago the two older women were driving to a doctor’s appointment when they were hit by a drunk driver. Both were badly hurt. This was yet another reminder of what can happen with no warning.

We all lead such distracted lives these days. When did we come to believe that we had to be available to everyone 24/7? When did we decide that music, or some other media source, had to be blaring in our ears all the time? What happened to solitude? What happened to silence?

I know that some of you have already brushed me aside as being “old” and “out of touch.” Perhaps a little of both. But mostly I am very, very aware that we can never truly hear God’s voice until we face Him in the silence.

Maybe that’s the point. Maybe we don’t want to hear what God has to say. Maybe we’re too focused on what we want, on what we need, on what we’ve decided to do, that we don’t think we need God. Until that moment when metal collides and suddenly God is all we want or need or desire.

But why do we have to wait until disaster strikes to seek His voice? Why must we behave like unrepentant children who have no need of a Savior? Because we all need Him. All it takes is one mistake, one disaster, one illness, to remind us of that fact.

So take a moment today to turn off the television, the iPod and the smart phone. Power off the laptop. Ask God to meet you wherever you are. Seek His wisdom in His Word and ask Him to speak to your heart. Then, as the silence wraps around you, wait patiently. Because God will always, always meet you wherever you are.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Listen To God’s Voice

“Be silent and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” -- Psalm 46:10

Silence is a luxury for so many of us. I know. Most things we just sort of ignore, like city traffic and a television blaring nearby. Other things are blessings, such as children laughing or dogs playing.

Still, sometimes we fill our lives with busyness and noise in an effort to drown out the voice of God. We probably don’t even realize what we’re doing. It’s habit. We assume we can multi-task and accomplish Bible reading and television watching all at the same time. We can’t though.

I once had a friend who needed to fill every moment of every day with something. He was a contractor, so that took up much of his week. His weekends were scheduled with tours and museum visits and dinners out with friends. His weeknights were filled with movies and meetings. He never wanted to be alone and he never wanted to be without something to do.

It took me years to figure it out. He was afraid of what -- or who -- he’d find if he finally ended up alone in silence. He was a very unhappy man who tried to hide that from those around him. His frantic attempts to schedule all his moments escalated until I truly didn’t understand how he could keep going. I tried to talk with him but he wasn’t ready to listen.

We’ve lost track over the years but I pray he eventually found peace. Unhappiness can’t be buried forever under busyness. Eventually it all comes to the surface and that deck of cards crashes all around us. Better to face it with God and get through it, rebuilding on a solid rock, than to try and pretend.

It’s hard to face the silence sometimes. If we suddenly don’t have time to pray or read our Bible, that’s a giveaway that we’re avoiding God. The question is why. He’s probably trying to tell us something we’d rather not hear. We need to hear it anyway.

It’s also difficult sometimes to clear our minds so that we can hear God. Julia Cameron, in her book The Artist’s Way, recommended what she terms morning pages. They are three pages of writing down just stuff as a way to empty our souls and quiet our minds. Cameron developed them so that creative people could be open to, well, creativity. But those pages work wonderfully for those of us trying to get past all that rattling around in our minds so that we can hear God’s voice.

Quietness opens us up to all sorts of possibilities and blessings from our Creator. Solitude, when it’s just Him and us, is just the greatest gift. It builds and deepens a relationship unlike any other. As we kneel before His throne, we hear Him call to us and beckon us closer. Lean in and listen to what He has to say.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Silence Is So Powerful

“Be still, and know that I am God;” (NIV)

“Be silent, and know that I am God!” (NLT)

-- Psalm 46:10

Silence is such a rare commodity these days. It seems that there’s always a horn blaring, a television going or a cell phone ringing. The other day an entire orchestra stopped its performance because of a ringing cell phone. What is this world coming to?

Sometimes I am a very unpopular person. The reason? I am not always available. I, gulp, turn my cell phone off. Of course, I’ve also learned to turn the television off but nobody seems to care about that. All that matters is that I’m available to them at all times.

When did we become a world where we must always be connected, always be available, always be filling our moments with chatter and movement? What are we hiding from? Are we so afraid of who we are that we can’t stand to be alone with ourselves?

And what about God? How can we ever hear His voice when we’ve got so much stuff going on in our minds and all around us. I see people texting during church and I just can’t believe it. Turn it off! Participate in worship. Let yourself soak in the moment without distractions.

A few years ago I heard a woman say that she simply didn’t have time to read and study the Bible. I understood why. She could tell you every detail of the “in” television shows. It’s not that she didn’t have time. It’s that she chose mindless matter over a deeper relationship with her Holy Father.

Don’t get me wrong. I love mindless television. And I try to always be reachable in emergencies. But that doesn’t mean I’m available all the time just because someone thought to call at that moment.

A friend recently lamented the rudeness so prevalent these days. It’s frustrating and irritating to go out to dinner with a friend, only to have that friend spend half the time talking on the cell phone to someone else. It’s awful to see how rude people are to cashiers. They barely acknowledge the cashier because they are too focused on themselves and their cell phone conversations.

Is it any wonder that we are a stressed out bunch of folks? We forgot what was important. We forgot how powerful silence can be. Or maybe we grew afraid of the silence.

Be still, God tells us. Know that He is God. Exalt Him and praise Him. Fill your mind with His goodness and mercy. Let His peace wash over you. In the silence, hear His voice calling you near. Be still. And know.