Watch Your Words
A person finds joy in giving an apt
reply – and how good is a timely word.
– Proverbs 15:23
Are you one of those people who always think of the right
thing to say – long after the moment has passed? Me too.
I wish I were someone who could just let things go. I
can’t. I just go over and over it in my mind. It drives me crazy, especially
when I think of something wonderful to say a few hours later.
It’s always those people with the biting remarks that
get me. You know who I’m talking about. They are the people who smile sweetly
even as they seek to crush you with their words. Their not-always-subtle
putdowns hurt. I wish I could turn my hurt into prayer – for the person who
hurt me and for my own heart to heal and forgive. Sometimes I can. Sometimes
not so much.
Years ago a co-worker bragged on the nice athletic jacket
he’d received with his purchase of season baseball tickets. I told him that was
great and wished I received the same giveaway with my season ticket purchase. That
was the opening he wanted. He made a smart comment about how much better his
tickets were than mine.
He was right. His tickets were premium seats right
behind home plate. My tickets were slightly off and much higher. There was one
difference however. “At least I can afford to keep mine,” I said without
hesitation.
He wasn’t expecting that. “That was good,” he
acknowledged. I nodded. His putdown had missed its mark because I knew the rest
of the story. I knew that every year he sold his entire ticket package because
he couldn’t afford the tickets.
These days I likely would have kept silent. It’s something
I work on. I have a sharp tongue, especially when someone intentionally hurts
me or pushes that button we all have. I really didn’t accomplish much with my
own ugly comment. This man might have respected me a little more but he didn’t
change his ways. He was a putdown artist and proud of it.
The heart of the righteous weighs its
answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. – Proverbs 15:28
Sometimes I wonder if I should have said the words I
held back in other situations. Silence leads people to believe that you’re too
dumb to understand their motives. A quiet tongue means that you’re too insecure
to defend yourself.
Well, actually no. I’ve come to understand that God
protects and defends those who depend on Him. Vengeance belongs to God alone.
It’s better to let things go than to try and handle the situation myself. I’ll
only make it worse. God can only make it better.
I also know that words can never be unsaid. Have you
ever said something you wish you could take back? Have you ever tried to erase
from your memory hurtful words someone has said to you? No amount of
apologizing, no amount of forgiveness, can ever completely silence them.
A kind word can heal a fragile soul. Wisdom given at
just the right moment can help a person take the right path. But hurtful words,
powerful zingers designed only to maim, are best turned away with silence. Don’t
respond in kind – no matter how much you’d rather do so. Trust God to handle it
because He always does.
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