September 11, 2021

 

Do More Than Remember

 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:1-2

 

It’s funny how great tragedy makes us cling to God. We ignore Him day after day, waiting for more time and then we are faced with the reality of the troubling end. God immediately moves to first place. Oh, how I wish we could hold tightly to that knowledge in the days that follow despair.

 

We were a different country in the hours following 9/11. We were a different people. We loved God. We extended kindness to strangers. We met our neighbors. We focused on family. Suddenly all that we held dear – our jobs, our bank accounts, our social status – changed. We understood how fragile life is and exactly what we can and can’t take with us when we die.

 

Twenty years. That’s how much time has passed. It seems we’ve forgotten the lessons from that day. We’re an angry people. We believe life is all about us. We hold ourselves high, depending on our money and status to create a clear path to all our dreams. We’ve once again relegated God to an afterthought. We are once again an ungrateful people.

 

Oh, life occasionally hands us a reminder. We understand the frailty of life when the doctor tells us we have stage IV cancer and our days on earth are likely shorter than we planned. We remember how quickly our world can disintegrate when a phone call comes and we hear that someone we love has suddenly died. It’s the Covid death of someone once healthy and strong. It’s the child with brain cancer and the elderly person with dementia. It’s the layoffs and homeless, the outcast and the orphan. All reasons to remember how fragile and alone we are without God.

 

Most on this day share photos and remembrance of our own 9/11 memories. But the Walton County Sheriff’s Office went a little further. “What we must do is act; not just remember. Let it rattle your soul, not just flood your feed. For every post you put up, serve someone in your neighborhood. For every photo you share, call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. For every comment you make today, find a 9/11 charity or non-profit and find out how to get involved. We must be United. And not just today. But, every day. That’s how we honor those we lost.”

December 31, 2018

Leave Regrets Behind

“Forget the former things; do not swell on the past.” – Isaiah 43:18

We like to overthink the past, don’t we? We live with regrets of what we might have done differently or how someone wronged us or betrayed us or how we missed an opportunity that will never come again.

Not one moment of reviewing the past can change anything in the present. All it does is keep us from living in the present and heading toward the future.

There’s one of those Facebook sayings that I love. It goes something like this: Don’t look back. You aren’t headed that way.

How true is that? Constantly looking back keeps us from enjoying today. It roots us in bitterness. It reminds us of what will never be.

Certainly, there are lessons to be learned from mistakes and betrayals. We live today as a result of where we’ve been. We grow stronger, wiser, more compassionate as we live through tough experiences. We understand the depth of what others are willing to do to get their own way and destroy who you are.

We also learn to be strong and to hold tightly to those who remain steadfast in their love and friendship. This world is full of really good people. In our hurt and disappointment, we forget that sometimes.

One of those who disappoint us the most is ourselves. We think of all those things we could have done differently. We lament those things that we meant to do and never did. We beat ourselves up for choices that turned out to be wrong.

There’s no need to condemn yourself for that extra 20 pounds you haven’t yet lost. There’s no need to be critical of yourself for not going after that promotion or for choosing to be a couch potato rather than follow God’s clear path. All regret does is keep you mired in the quicksand of failure. That’s never been God’s plan for you.

King David knew a lot about regret. He’d lusted after a married woman, took her for himself, then had her husband killed when he learned she was pregnant with his child. He paid a high price for that. David and Bathsheba’s child died.

But David learned and moved on. After the Prophet Nathan rebuked the king, David repented. This is the man who had a heart for God. David wanted to do good. He just lost his way and satisfied himself with what wasn’t his. But David learned from the mistake and God gave him another child, Solomon, with Bathsheba.

What have you learned in 2018? Do you have regrets? Take their lessons and leave them behind. Do you have great joy? Learn to multiply that joy and find satisfaction living in the light of Christ.

August 27, 2018

We Can Help Others

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

God never wastes a hurt. I’ve heard that said so many times but I don’t think I ever truly understood until now. When we give our hurts to God, He uses them and us to comfort and guide others.

I always thought I understood what being a caregiver was all about. I didn’t have a clue. I slid into the role without fully realizing what was coming. It’s a good thing. I’m not sure I could have done it if I’d known the heartache that was to come.

I’ve learned medical terminology and how to operate the machine that dispenses IV fluids. I have learned about medical directives and hard waiting room chairs and the fatigue of day after day without leaving the hospital. In other words, I get it.

People turn to me even as I pull back from offering an opinion or advice. The hard truth is that experience has taught me what questions to ask. I know when to panic and when to just let it go. I know about surrendering a hopeless situation to God. I understand about letting go.

Compassion is hard won in the game of life. We learn to ache with others because we have felt their pain. Some people have a natural empathy. Most of us try and fail. Until we’ve walked the same road. Then we get it.

It’s true with family and friends. It’s also true with medical personnel. There is a real difference between a nurse who has known suffering and one who has only seen it. That doesn’t mean they aren’t both kind. In a perfect world, they are. It simply means that one will shed a tear with you because she truly understands.

Last year my cousin and I traveled more than two hours away to see her critically ill daughter. The hospital staff was among the best I’ve ever experienced. They asked my cousin hard questions. They were kind. They were compassionate.

And when my cousin couldn’t understand, when her heart couldn’t grasp the words, she looked to me. I shared my journey and the words settled her. There’s something about someone else walking your path and surviving that gives you hope that you, too, will survive.

Another friend monitors medications and keeps a daily record of blood pressure and insulin and weight. It’s a routine most don’t understand. You can’t skip a day. Ever. Here’s an example: If you gain four pounds overnight, you’ll probably get upset and vow to eat better. If a heart patient gains four pounds overnight, it could signal an impending cardiovascular crisis. Sudden weight gain is a major sign of trouble in someone with Congestive Heart Failure.

People who’ve never walked the path can’t grasp endless doctor appointments with  the primary care physician and assorted specialists. They can’t grasp the home health visits that can total seven or more separate visits each week by different people. Everything has to be coordinated by someone and that someone is you.

There are no words to describe the moment you realize the person you love most will never go home again. All you can do is cry and cling to someone who gets it, to someone who has been there, to someone who truly understands your heartbreak.

I am grateful when I can help someone else navigate this devastating journey. I wish I didn’t understand but I do. God uses that hurt to help others, turning something awful into something good.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Now What?

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” -- John 20:21-22

Did everyone enjoy their Easter Sunday? It was a great day, wasn’t it? We had standing room only attendance at the service I attend. Lots of new dresses and new faces. It was a wondrous day of joy and celebration. And good food. We can’t forget the food.

But today is Monday. We’re back at work or school. Life continues much as it did before. Except that it shouldn’t. Because nothing is the same. The tomb is empty. Our sins forgiven. Grace reigns. And we can never, ever live as we did before.

Look around you. What do you see? Who do you see? Because Jesus called us to care for those around us, to be Him in this darkened world. It’s impossible to do that without really seeing those around us. Not just the “pretty” people. Not just the wealthy. Jesus saw the hurting and the broken. He healed the sick and welcomed the outcast.

That doesn’t fit into our picture of Easter morning and the empty tomb. That pretty picture is for us and for those whom we love. We don’t consider sharing it with the least, the dirty, the shamed, the failure. Yet those are the people Jesus welcomed.

I am blessed with the church family I now call my own. One friend speaks of attending a church where a woman with young children was too ashamed to attended services on Easter Sunday. Her reason? She couldn’t afford new dresses for her little girls and she knew they would be teased and looked down on by others. How incredibly sad. Ever sadder? It still happens in some churches.

Do they not get the point? It’s not about how you dress, it’s about your heart. I have a friend, a dear man who is hurting in ways he refuses to acknowledge. Bitterness is growing inside. He rarely attends church anymore but he’s full of criticism and condemnation for those who do. His main point of contention? How others dress when they enter God’s house.

Jesus gave His very life for those who had nothing and no one. How can we turn our eyes away from those who hurt the most? And yet we do it every day when we fail to see those who are most in need. We cast Jesus aside, forgetting what His life and death really meant, when we refuse to change our words and actions to reflect His.

Today is Monday. Just another day -- until we remember the message of the cross and that empty tomb.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

What Has God Taught You Today?

These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold -- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. -- 1 Peter 1:7

Some days you just wish God wouldn’t feel the need to test you. Some days you’d just like things to go smooth and easy. Some days you just want to make it through because you know tomorrow has just got to be a better day.

Probably everyone knows what I’m talking about. We’ve all had days like that. I one time sat for hours in a hot car with two dogs in the back seat because my car decided to die on the wrong side of the interstate. No one could find me in rush hour. Go figure. That’s a day I’d rather not ever repeat. But, you know, I have a lot more sympathy for people who are having car trouble now. I may not stop and help strangers but I do try to always say a prayer for them. I didn’t do that before.

A great many people have no doubt learned a few things during this economic downturn our country continues, to endure. Some have learned that hard-working people can’t always find a job. They’ve learned that honest and decent people sometimes lose their homes, cars and dignity through no fault of their own. They’ve learned that downward spirals can happen to anyone. Maybe they’ll remember to have empathy, compassion and lend a helping hand when they get on their financial feet again.

That’s the thing about lessons from God. He always uses the bad and the ugly to turn us into better people. God can turn even the worst things into good, if we’ll only let Him. No. God doesn’t want bad to happen to us. But He does sometimes allow it. Our promise is that we’ll never suffer anything we can’t endure with His help.

It’s something I’ve really thought about recently as a friend recovers from a serious motorcycle accident. God’s hand is everywhere during this awful time, bringing blessings and healing from something that could have been so much worse. His Presence has carried us through and will, without a doubt, continue to do so during her long recovery.

Peter tells us that our faith is more precious to God than gold. We are more precious to God. He wants us to know how much He loves us. God wants us to depend on Him, to learn from Him, to grow in faith and inner strength.

So what has God taught you recently? It kind of puts a different perspective on hard days and tough times, doesn’t it?