September 7, 2024

    Hatred Begets Hatred

Hatred stirs up conflict,

but love covers over all wrongs. – Proverbs 10:12

Hatred begets hatred.

Again and again Christians post ugly things on social media about candidates they don’t like. They call them names. They spread lies. And they proclaim that anyone who disagrees with them doesn't really love Jesus.

Really!? I have snoozed and blocked, reported and prayed for so many people. Please understand that I really don’t care what your political views happen to be. We are all different. That’s a good thing. But I draw the line at hate-filled commentaries spewed out in the name of Jesus.

I look around at our children. Some face bullies. Some are the ones who bully other children. I hear the name calling and the ugliness. Do you? Maybe you’re the parent or grandparent comforting a child you love. Maybe you’re the parent or grandparent making excuses for your child’s attitude and words.

Kids aren’t born with ugliness in their hearts. They learn it from adults. They learn to be mean and judgmental. They learn to tell lies and make excuses.

They can also learn to be kind, compassionate and forgiving. They can learn to respect the opinions of others, especially those they disagree with.

The next time you shout at that “stupid” driver, pay attention to your words. The next time you spread your “opinion” of the political candidate you oppose, listen to yourself. The next time you make fun of someone who is different from you, consider how you would feel in that same situation.

Kids learn from what we do and say. What are they learning from you?

March 1, 2022

 

Who Do You Exclude?

 

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) – John 4:9

 

Would you have asked her for a drink? Would you even have spoken to her? Or would you have turned away because of her reputation? Would you have cast her aside without even trying to know her?

 

The other day a woman admitted that her Sunday School class is a clique. It excludes people. It’s self-involved. No excuses. It’s just how it is.

 

Another woman spoke of her young daughter who is being bullied. She is heartbroken and yet unable to fully protect her beautiful child from the ugliness of others.

 

Does anyone see a connection here? When we exclude people, badmouth them, cast them aside as unworthy to be a part of our group, our children are watching and learning how to behave. Sure, there are always exceptions but don’t fall too hard on that old excuse. Look at your own behavior.

 

Then look at Jesus. Have you ever noticed that Jesus didn’t hang out with the wealthy? The religious elite hated Him. He spoke truth that made Him even more unpopular. He wasn’t focused on acceptance. He was focused on saving the lost. He ministered to the hungry and the desperate and those the rest of the world had cast aside.

 

God’s always done that. He’s a God that looks at the heart and not the pocketbook. He’s the God that Hagar declared saw her. He sees those who are cast aside, those who aren’t included, those who are bullied and broken. So why do we think it’s okay to exclude the very people Jesus came to save?

The Samaritan woman was an outcast. She was of mixed race, had been married numerous times and was living with yet another man. She’s the one most of us would have gossiped about and excluded from our gatherings. Not Jesus. And because of Him, her life changed and so did the lives of so many others who believed her story and sought Jesus for themselves.

 

The next time you get ready to exclude someone, invite them to join you instead. Don’t just say you love Jesus. Actually be His hands and feet.

 

September 16, 2018

Ignoring It Doesn’t Erase It

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

– 1 Peter 5:8

Does ignoring something make it go away? Does silencing the voices of hurt take away the pain? Does refusing to acknowledge a problem erase the problem?

A suicide rocked a local high school. She was apparently bullied on social media. Threats were left in her locker. Nothing was done. She died. End of story?

Obviously, not. There are kids who are hurting. Is it from guilt because they said and did things they shouldn’t have? Is it pain that comes from not knowing, not seeing, not listening to a girl hurting so badly that she only saw one way out? Is it because there’s a real chance that others feel as she did?

Today I learned that teachers were warned not to mention the girls name. There’s no grief counseling. There’s no outlet for processing what has happened. Nothing. Maybe the school administration thinks that by ignoring one girl’s suicide, it will all just go away. It won’t.

There are kids who will live with the aftermath of this for the rest of their lives. There are teachers who will struggle with what if questions. There are those of us on the outside who will wonder about a school system that refuses to deal with trauma head on.

Did you ever see the movie or read the book The Prince of Tides? It’s a powerful story of trauma covered up, only to resurface years later. One woman buried her trauma so deep she didn’t remember it, even though depression and suicide attempts were her normal. Her brother had to face the trauma, to talk about it, to finally cry, in order to help his sister live. The story is about what happens when we aren’t allowed to process something awful. We may survive the moment but the horror is only hidden just below the surface.

Let me ask you another question: Are you enough just the way you are? Don’t throw out a flippant answer. It’s a serious question. Every day we hear thousands of messages that say we aren’t enough. You may not acknowledge them but they are there just the same.

Think about it. Are you a little too heavy? Do you lack hair? Is it the wrong color? Maybe you need an alcoholic beverage and a party so you can be with the “in” crowd? What about a tropical vacation? Or a new car? Everywhere we look we are being bombarded by messages that tell us we need something more or to be someone better in order to fully enjoy life.

Now add adolescent pressure to the mix and what do you get? A horrible scenario where kids are acting out in order to be someone they aren’t so they can fit into a system that’s beyond broken.

Do we really believe that not talking about this girl’s death will keep it from happening to someone else? Do we really believe that looking the other way will remove all the guilt kids and teachers feel? Do we really believe that ignoring a problem means it never really happened?

We are giving Satan a foothold into our broken hearts. We are exposing our open wounds to more trauma. We are asking for more of the same because we aren’t brave enough to offer the hope that is Jesus. Shame on all of us.

September 11, 2018

Stop the Bullying

You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, so that mere earthly mortals will never again strike terror.

– Psalm 10:17-18

I didn’t know her but I think I would have liked her. Artistic. Sweet. Different. And dead. Because of the relentlessness of bullies.

No one helped. No one. Did anyone even notice? Did they brush off the threats she found in her locker? Did they ignore the laughter when her words didn’t come out quite right? Did they read the Facebook posts that bashed her again and again?

It’s too late to bring her back but it’s not too late to change ourselves. It’s not too late to make sure that this doesn’t happen to anyone else ever again.

Those who made threats and posted ugliness on social media are guilty. Those who looked the other way are guilty too. Bullies are after attention and power. Why do you let them have it?

I know. Some bullies are trying to cover up an abusive home or inability to do the school work. Some bullies are hurting and they’re lashing out, trying to control what they can. It’s not an excuse. There is no excuse. It’s just a desperate attempt to understand horrific cruelty.

What can a victim do? Most people, including parents, school administrators and teachers, don’t want to get involved. We don’t want to defend the least. We don’t want the bully to turn his or her attention toward us. We remain silent. What is wrong with us?

This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. Ironic, isn’t it? Or maybe not. Maybe her death will open the eyes of all of us, both the victims and those who bully them.

If you are a victim, tell someone you trust. Just do it. Don’t suffer in silence. If you’re in that black hole of despair, reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. There are people willing to help 24/7. Sometimes having someone who understands, who’s willing to listen as you cry, can make all the difference.

But don’t give up. Just don’t. Don’t allow those bullies to steal your unique self from this world. God created each of us. We are made in His image. We are meant to be different and special and loved. You have a unique calling on your life. Don’t give up.

I understand how hard those dark days can be. I know what it feels like to think you can’t make it through another hour. Hold on anyway. Cry out to Jesus. Cling tightly to His Word. Reach out.

I know. I said that before but it’s just so true. All it takes is one person to throw you a lifeline. There are some pretty awful people in this world. But there are some pretty amazing people in this world too. Find one.

And if you’re part of the problem, stop it. Don’t hang out with people who think bullying is okay. Get involved in a church youth group. Attend a Bible study. Surround yourself with people filled with kindness and compassion. Ask God to help you change into a person worthy of His calling on your life.

Bullying will only stop when we stand firm against it. And suicide will only end when we care enough to get involved, to notice, to lend a hand. She was only 16. What a heartbreaking loss for all of us.

September 10, 2018

Do We Defend the Victims?

“The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

– Matthew 25:45

Our faith is most revealed in how we treat people who aren’t like us, people who disagree with us, people who are marginalized, people who can’t do anything for us.

Do you call people “stupid” because they disagree with you? Do you view people who are from a different country as “thieves” or “terrorists”? Do use throw out racial slurs toward someone who looks different than you? Do you make off-color jokes about someone of the opposite sex? Do you laugh and go along with anyone who does any of the things I’ve mentioned?

You are a bully. You are fueling hate. You are not living Jesus. Are you sure you even know Him in your heart?

Harsh words. I know. It’s past time I stood up and called it what it is. I don’t care how many times you praise Jesus. If you’re also calling people names just because they’re different than you or putting people down because they see issues differently, then you are a hater and Jesus has no part in your life.

I have tried to stay out of the political fray. Most of my friends are staunch Republicans. Many of them strongly support Donald Trump. I do not. I never have. It’s not about politics for me. Trump is an arrogant bully. He always has been. I will likely never understand how anyone could support and, thus, condone his behavior.

Trump calls people who disagree with him all types of names – and his supporters applaud his words. Trump seeks to destroy anyone who tries to thwart his agenda – and his supporters applaud his actions. Trump doesn’t care about democracy or diplomacy. He cares only about himself and that’s truly dangerous.

I know. He talks about God. Sometimes he goes to church. But please reread the book of James. What evidence do you see in Trump’s life that he actually lives for Jesus? Works and words may not save us but they surely reveal the heart.

What has prompted me to voice my opinions? What has made me realize I can no longer remain silent in order to keep the peace in my own life? A 16-year-old girl died last week. Suicide. Because she was ruthlessly bullied by kids who think it’s okay to destroy someone who is different, someone who is weaker, someone they can hurt with words and threats and cruelty.

We are teaching our children it’s okay to be a bully. Every time we open our mouths and call someone a name because they view issues differently, we teach our kids it’s okay to down someone who likes a different type of music. Every time we laugh at someone who dresses differently or lives in a “bad” part of town, we are teaching our children to do the same. It’s your actions that carry the weightiest lessons. You can tell your children not to bully many times but if they see you do it, they’ll learn to do it too.

And if you continue to condone a political figure who bullies others, then you are teaching your children it’s okay to bully others too. Stop looking through your rose-colored glasses and start standing up for what is right. Stop talking about Jesus and start being Him in this world!

September 1, 2018

How Wise Are We?

Babylon was a gold cup in the LORD’s hand; she made the whole earth drunk. The nations drank her wine; therefore they have now gone mad.

– Jeremiah 51:7

We like to quote Jeremiah’s prophecy about God wanting good things for us. We like to remember that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Yes, we like the book of Jeremiah.

Until we get to the other parts of it. We don’t see the relationship between Babylon and us. We don’t think that any of that destruction applies to us. We don’t believe that we could possibly be that evil.

God used Babylon to destroy other nations. He allowed her to prosper, to conquer, to gather luxuries and money and power. And then, when God had achieved His purpose, God destroyed Babylon. Doesn’t that cause anyone to pause for even a moment?

What was in the gold cup mentioned in this verse? It was poison. What was the poison? The splendor of Babylon. All that stuff that we hold near and dear. You know what I’m talking about. Wealth and power and prestige. New cars and big houses and luxurious vacations. One commentary referred to it as the influence of evil.

There’s nothing wrong with any of those things I listed, of course. At least, not until we desire those things more than we desire God. The wine, that poison we’re talking about? Well, it’s all about idolatries. And we’re all about idolatries.

How far are you willing to go to increase your bank account? What are you willing to do to increase your power? What will you sacrifice to get what you want? How many compromises will you make on your path to glory?

Revelation refers to Babylon and her adulteries. Revelation calls Babylon the mother of prostitutes. Do you think that applies to you? Are you sure? What are you willing to do? Where does that line hold when it comes to getting what you want out of life? What exactly do you think you deserve? And what will you do to get it?

Our great country began as a nation that allowed freedom to worship. We wanted a free press, recognizing that the freedom to speak protects us from those who would ram their own views down onto us. And now we are led by a bully who seeks to destroy anyone who disagrees with him. Some of his loudest supporters are people of faith. Can anyone else see Babylon in these days we are living now?

I hear dear people proclaim the gospel, then slam the poor as “lazy” and “stupid” and “unworthy.” They don’t know the people they condemn. They would never dirty their hands with volunteer work or interacting with someone they consider beneath them.

I hear wonderful Christians make excuses for lies and sin, insisting that another person’s sin justifies what we see today. I try to hold my tongue and I wonder if that isn’t sin too. Does my silence mean that I don’t care? Does my silence indicate that wrong behavior is okay with me? It’s not. I simply don’t want the backlash of controversy. That’s wrong.

As God’s people, we are called to take a stand. We are called to love people the world has cast aside. We are called to condemn lies and bullying and excess. We are to be kind to the point of loving our enemies. We are to be different from the world we live in. Instead, we are leading the charge away from God. That gold cup we value? It’s the poison that will destroy us if we don’t change course and turn back – truly turn back – to God.

August 30, 2018

Just Love People

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8

When did we get to be so mean? We pass off our words as “our opinion.” We defend our right to “our choices.” We say whatever we want without ever considering the impact it might have on others.

As Christians, we should know better but, apparently, we don’t. In fact, we’re the ones usually leading the charge.

We have no problem these days with calling someone stupid when they disagree with us. We have no trouble slinging lies out to defend ourselves when someone dares to disagree. We get angry and march off with our grudges if someone refuses to do things our way.

It’s not about us. We’re supposed to know that. But it seems as though we’ve forgotten as we focus on “me” and “I” in this fast-paced, cutthroat world.

Jesus loved people. He loved them where they were. They cleaned up their acts, so to speak, because He treated them with kindness and compassion. They were moved by Jesus because He reached out to those society had cast aside.

Today we cast those same people aside and claim we’re doing it “in Jesus’ name.” Today we turn ugly in political discussions and insist that we’re defending the Bible. Today we point fingers and draw lines without showing the slightest compassion or mercy. We’d do well to remember that the only time Jesus truly got angry was at the Pharisees for their rules that excluded or harmed those who were the least.

We talk about kids who bully other kids and we wonder why bullying has increased so much. We need only look in the mirror. Kids hear the anger in our voices as we condemn those who disagree with us. Kids hear the way we ridicule how some people dress or talk or where they live. Kids hear how we put others down and they seek to do the same.

Suicide rates are up. Mental illness rates are up. People go and go and go until there’s nothing left and they fall apart. We struggle to keep up the frantic pace in a world that is way too focused on money and prestige. Whatever happened to helping each other? Whatever happened to encouraging others when they’re going through a tough time?

We become shocked when someone falls apart. We didn’t see it coming. We have mass shootings. We have horrific things happen. And we’re surprised. Why? We are a world of hurting people who have no where to go for kindness, acceptance and love. They don’t have Jesus because we’ve forgotten that we’re supposed to be His hands and feet on this earth.

The next time you feel a “smart” comment about to erupt from your mouth, just swallow the words. The next time you get ready to criticize someone, think something good about that person and shove the criticism aside. If it isn’t good and kind, just don’t say it. Don’t repeat gossip. Don’t be part of the problem.

Imagine how the world would change if we truly lived as Jesus has called us to live. Then be the change that ignites a nation back into loving those Jesus has called us to love.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

God Will Help Us

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -- Isaiah 41:9-10

The reports of suicides caused by bullying are everywhere. Schools vow to get tougher. Legislators promise to pass laws. We're all becoming "aware" as the media focuses its glare on the problem. It's just amazing to me that we have reached a point where this is such a horrific problem.

Bullying has always existed in school. And, for the most part, schools have ignored it. Kids ridicule other kids. It's considered just part of life. Now, the internet has added a new dimension to it all. School taunts go everywhere to everyone and are permanently recorded for all to see. It can seem overwhelming to a young person.

Rejection hurts. Ridicule devastates. Cruelty isn't just a prank or teasing gone wrong. While we can't protect youngsters from all life's hurts, we shouldn't stand silently while they are subjected to such ugliness.

I am so thankful that God calls all His children to Him. He doesn't reject us. He loves us and comforts us. When the world turns against us, God is there to strengthen and help us. I wish every young person knew that in his/her heart. I wish they could know to cling to that rock in the middle of any storm.

I doubt we'll ever see an end to cruelty in this world. I remind myself that we do live in a fallen world. But we can do our part to sew kindness and compassion, to refuse to participate or tolerate meanness. We can take off our judgment caps and see people through God's eyes. We all have good and bad in us. We can choose to see the good and look past the bad. And we can share God's love with those around us. We can be God's hands and hold others up when the world threatens to tear them down. We can love each other. Just like God loves us.