January 22, 2018

What Motivates Your Service?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4

He wants to be helpful. He wants to be needed, necessary, valued. He means well. He does. But he pushes people away by giving “help” they don’t need or want.

You see, it’s not about the people he is attempting to help. It’s about his own needs, his own ego, his own issues. He doesn’t see it that way of course. He refuses to listen to anyone who tells him differently. He knows best. He isn’t going to change because he refuses to look past himself to really see the people he is “helping.”

One elderly woman gets so exasperated. Why does he think I can’t get my husband to the car without his help? Why does he think I can’t carry my own purse? He means well, I tell her, but I understand her frustration. She helps her husband every day. They are quite the team. Anyone who interferes with their way of doing things could easily cause something bad to happen – like a fall -- by not understanding what works best for them.

Don’t misunderstand where she is coming from. This isn’t pride on her part. When she needs help, she asks for it. When her husband slid down in the bathroom – he didn’t fall because she was there to ease him down – she called a neighbor to help get him up. When he had chest congestion and couldn’t leave the house, she asked a friend to sit with him while she ran errands.

I understand her frustration. I often have people trying to do things for me that I am capable of doing for myself. They mean well. I try to show grace to the neighbor who thinks he must explain to me how to look after cows. He doesn’t own cows. He really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But in his own way, he is attempting to help me.

I swallow my words. I try to avoid him. I know way more than he would ever admit. But, most importantly, I am blessed with family and friends who own large cattle operations. I have only to make a phone call and they are offering advice or headed my way to help. I am so thankful to God for this gift of their presence in my life.

The Bible repeatedly tells us to serve others, to help where we can, to love our neighbors as ourselves. Somewhere along the way we forget that it isn’t about us. It’s about the people we are called to serve. It’s about bringing glory to God.

If you find yourself “serving” others in ways that upset them, maybe you should check your motives. Why are you helping? When you are doing something “for” someone that they neither want or need, you really aren’t doing it for them but rather for yourself.

May 1, 2016

Put Others First

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. -- Philippians 2:3-4

It’s not about you. Really. It’s not. It’s not about me either. It’s about what we can do for others to show them the love of Jesus.

We forget that frequently. We get so caught up in our own agendas that we neglect even the simple things we can do for someone else.

Yesterday a woman spent much of her day in the Emergency Room for chest pain. Her husband of many years went to eat lunch. She asked him to stay in the hospital to eat. He insisted on crossing a busy highway to eat at a fast food restaurant.

So she lay in her hospital bed worrying until he returned. She was at times furious and other times scared. He put his own wishes before hers, adding stress to an already stressful situation.

Why? To prove he could. Is that why we sometimes do the things we do? Just to prove that we can? No matter who gets hurt, we’ve got to win.

What would happen if we followed Paul’s advice and put others first? How would the world look if we actually did what we say we believe?

It sure would be a lot easier to enter into traffic because other drivers would be willing to let us get in front of them. It would be nice to avoid the stampede to the serving line during church events.

It would be great to value someone else’s opinion above your own. Can you imagine actually having someone hear what you have to say before they formed an opinion and started talking? That would be awesome.

Or what if you gave your seat to someone else? I was appalled recently at a church event. There weren’t enough chairs for everyone. Children, and their parents, claimed seats while elderly members were forced to stand. It’s sad when we don’t see this courtesy in our own churches.

A sweet friend was so excited the other day. She was going through a drive thru line and the person in front of her paid for her meal. She, naturally, paid for the car behind her. But she was so excited. Why? Because someone did something thoughtful with no expectations of a reward.

Do you consider others before yourself? All of us fall short on this one. Maybe it’s time we started thinking about it and acting on Paul’s words a little more often.

April 9, 2016

Put Others First

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. -- Philippians 2:3-4

Yesterday we made the bi-weekly trek to the grocery store. Parking, especially the handicapped slots, were at a premium. I noticed two men loading groceries into their car and I waited patiently for them to finish, get in their car and leave. I sat with my blinker on, clearing waiting. You know what I am about to say, don’t you? Someone came up and snagged the spot that was supposed to be mine.

You probably want me to say it was okay. Really, it wasn’t. My Mother has trouble walking and it’s a long way from the parking lot to the front door of the grocery store. In my mind, she trumps the stranger who stole “our” parking space.

How ridiculous! At the end of the day, does it really matter? The other driver wasn’t worth getting upset about. I had to tell myself that several times. Because, you see, it wasn’t about a parking space.

Don’t we all hate when other people -- even strangers -- don’t value us? It’s really upsetting not to be first! Except, Paul clearly tells us we aren’t supposed to be first.

That’s all well and good when we apply it to someone else. That woman shouldn’t have taken the space I was waiting to get. She should have put me first. Or, better yet, my Mother first. She should have waited her turn.

It’s not so easy when we’re the ones who are being called to consider others before ourselves. She might have been searching for a spot for sometime. She clearly wasn’t good at parking because she had to try several times before she made it into the spot. I should give her the benefit of the doubt, as the saying goes.

How often this plays out in our lives. We don’t want people to cut in front of us in traffic. We don’t want to wait in line. We want to have all our needs met immediately and let others wait.

Life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we have to step back and let someone else be first. Not because it is their “right” but because it is what we are called to do.

Think about it: Do you look more like Jesus when you are demanding your right to be first or when you are graciously allowing someone else to take that slot? Choose to be like Jesus.

March 4, 2016

Look Beyond Yourself

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

-- Philippians 2:3-4

It was kind of funny really. A really sweet young woman brought a large piece of furniture to the house for me to paint. She was surprised when I told her it would be a week to 10 days before it was ready. I’m not sure what she was thinking but I think it was more like a day or two.

I don’t think it occurred to her that I might have other orders ahead of hers. Surprising really. She first contacted me in December and I was too busy to get to it before Christmas. She called again and said she would bring it but never came. Then one day she called and told me it was loaded and she was on her way. Okay.

I’ll do the best I can to get it back to her in a timely manner. I’ve learned that life rarely goes the way I planned. And I’ve also learned that most folks think they should be first, no matter who was ahead of them in line.

Aren’t we all that way? We don’t want to wait. We hurry, hurry, hurry. We want to be first in line. All the time. And, yet, that isn’t the way we’re supposed to behave.

Several years ago I was at a church function and watched man rush forward the minute the potluck buffet line opened. I was appalled. Later he was back for seconds before everyone had made it through the line the first time. This was a man who should have known better. Maybe he thought he did. How sad.

It’s not fun being last, is it? At one function I attend every year, people line up based on when their table number is drawn. Last year we were next to last. There really wasn’t a lot of food left and several folks grumbled loudly. But, you know, somebody has to be last. Who says it shouldn’t be me or you?

Things have changed since I was young. We no longer allow the elderly to go first. We don’t always hold the door for someone else. We would never consider giving our seat up for someone else. And we wonder -- loudly -- where our country’s values have gone. Look in the mirror.

Every time we fail to put someone before ourselves, we are denying the gospel. Kindness matters. When you preach one moment and the next you are putting yourself first, you are being the hypocrite you profess to hate.

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. Really. It’s not.

February 17, 2016

Put Others Above Yourself

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. -- Philippians 2:3-4

I’m fairly certain that the Apostle Paul wasn’t referring to television programming when he wrote this bit of wise advice in Philippians. Nevertheless, it surely does apply in our present world.

The other day our state experienced severe weather. Tornadoes, strong winds, hail. Well, you get the picture. One station preempted regular programming in order to stay focused on weather coverage. In the midst of telling people to get to their safe places and warning of funnel cloud sightings, the chief meteorologist had to tell people not to call the station and complain about their soap opera being preempted. Seriously?!

Let’s see if I get this: People’s lives are in danger and the meteorologists are staying on air in an effort to keep people informed. Other folks -- presumably not impacted by the weather at that moment -- complained about a soap opera. Where are their priorities? With themselves. It is just the worst kind of selfishness.

When did we become so self-focused that we have stopped caring about other people? It’s not the only time I’ve witnessed this type of thing but it still just makes me so angry.

Years ago I saw a four-year-old boy hysterically running through a mall. He’d lost his parents. I found out later that he’d run the entire length of the mall. No one helped him. No one. Including all those parents with their own children in tow. When I knelt down and opened my arms, he ran straight to me. A store employee called security and he was soon reunited with his parents. But the callousness, that notion that we somehow don’t have an obligation to help, left a sick feeling deep inside of me.

As God’s people, we weren’t called to sit on the sidelines and focus on ourselves. We are to focus on what is good and right, what is noble and admirable. That means sometimes giving up something we enjoy so that someone else can have information that can keep them safe. It means taking time to help a child and keep him safe. Selfishness has no place in the kingdom of God.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Don’t Ignore Hurting People

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4

Many years ago a co-worker failed to show up to relieve me at work. I was worried. She could be flaky about some things but not about work. I called another friend to go to her home and check on her.

What she found scared us all. Our co-worker had taken too many pills and was having trouble staying awake. Unfortunately, she never went to a hospital. Fortunately, she survived.

I wish it had been something easily passed off as an accident. But given her fragile mental state, I couldn’t believe it was. She’d been raised in a religious cult and was sexually violated repeatedly. As an adult, she walked away -- and was ostracized by her family. She liked to pretend it didn’t matter but, of course, it did. And she’d spent years in therapy and on various anti-depressants trying to deal with it.

The day after I did what I felt I needed to do. I called her therapist and told him I believed she’d tried to commit suicide. He immediately took action. He couldn’t hospitalize her -- that was the unfortunate part of not going to the emergency room -- but he did get her in to his office repeatedly over the next days and weeks.

She never forgave me. In a way, I understood. She felt I’d meddled where I didn’t belong. Maybe I did. But she was alive to tell that story. I’m not sure she would have been had I not sent someone to her home and then called her doctor. I’ve never regretted the decision.

Sometimes taking action to help someone means risking that they’ll never forgive you. Sometimes doing the right thing means stepping on toes and making people angry. Do it anyway.

Please understand that I’m not telling you to ignore lines of respect and choice. Sometimes that line isn’t easy to see. But prayer works every time. Take courage and follow the Spirit where He leads you.

More than 36,000 people in the United States commit suicide each year. I wonder how many of those wounded people talked about dying. I wonder how many of them spoke of feeling helpless or alone. I wonder what might have happened had someone actually heard their words and responded with kindness and compassion.

Sometimes we have to get in other people’s business when it means saving their lives. Don’t hesitate. You may not ever get a second chance.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Reach Out To Others

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, But made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, Being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross!

-- Philippians 2:5-8

When you die what do you think people will say about you? Seriously. This is not a Journalism 101 exercise. It’s for real. Because what people say after someone dies probably reflects the very best of that person.

So, what will they say? Maybe that you were a jokester and the life of every party. Maybe that you were a hard worker. Or that you never missed church. Or that you were a good husband or wife, a good father or mother.

What about how you treated others? Will people remember you as kind and compassionate? Will folks think of you as giving and eager to help? Or will they talk about all that money in the bank? Maybe they’ll mention the property you owned or the business you created. Maybe they’ll mention your expensive car or tailored suits.

The truth is we won’t be taking any of those things with us when we go. I know. I’ve heard the joke. You’ve never seen a hearse with a baggage rack. But you also don’t hear a lot of good things about folks who spent their lives only caring about themselves.

Most of us intend to do good things. We want to help. We want to show kindness. We want to see the good in people. We just never get around to it. We’re so busy living out our days that we never, ever make a ripple in this world. It is almost as though we never lived because we never touched the lives God put before us.

The world has so many needs. Just look around. Open your eyes. See the hurting, the lost, the hungry, the neglected. God created us all with different strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has the ability to reach out and touch lives. If only we would.

Sometimes we hold back because we truly don’t believe we have anything to offer. But we’re looking outward at others instead of inward toward what God created us to be. One dear woman visits the sick and dying. She carries food, provides rides, and generously cares for others. To her, she is simply doing what she does. To others, she is the face of Jesus in their darkest moments.

Anybody can offer a kind word. Most folks can bake a casserole or stop by the deli. Others can weed a flowerbed or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Maybe write a note or make a phone call. We each can do our part to make a difference, to reach out, to show others that God cares. Sort of like Jesus did. And how He still does if we truly live our lives as though He lives within us.

What do you think folks will say about you when you die? Strive to live a life that draws others to Christ.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Give Someone A Smile Today

"Do everything without complaining or arguing," -- Philippians 2:14

Sometimes I wonder if people who complain all the time even realize they're complaining. It's like they're so used to looking at the negative, telling us all that is wrong or even might be wrong, that they don't even hear themselves.

You know who I'm talking about. They're so busy complaining that we didn't get enough rain, they forget to thank God for the rain we did get. The food is never just right. You're driving too fast or too slow.  They never have enough money. I could go on and on. They'll always find something wrong.

Sometimes I just want to grab them, point them toward something wonderful and make them see all the good around us. What a beautiful day we had today! Everyone is basically healthy. We have a home and television and plenty of food to eat. The temperature has even dropped below 90 degrees! I doubt they'd see it, even if I pointed it out.

They're also the people who never have time to help out. If, by chance, they do participate they'll be sure to let you know that you aren't doing it right. If someone is sick, it's their fault. If their company closed, they should have known it was coming. If their car breaks down, it's because they didn't get it serviced properly.

I know. It all sounds so ridiculous. It is ridiculous. Every day I listen to contemporary Christian radio while I work. One theme seems to go through the music, song after song. It's all about the beauty of this great world and the blessings God has given us. The songs are about His love that surrounds us and carries us through any storm. How can anyone focus on the negative when we are filled with His love?

I saw a sign not too long ago. It said that if someone is missing a smile, give them yours. I think we should all give smiles to the negative people in our worlds. They really need a little sunshine and a big ol' dose of God's special love.