Friday, June 1, 2012

Hurting People Not Okay

With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. -- Proverbs 11:9

They’d seen a man they used to know. He’s a neighbor and attends a church they’ve left behind. Still, they like him -- so they said.

The old man chuckled. “I told him he looked great except for all that hair on his face. I don’t suppose he liked what I said but, well, he knows how I am.”

Yeah, I thought to myself, he knows how you are. Mean and ugly to people who have never been anything but good and kind to you. I’m sure the man led it slide. That’s how he is -- a Christian who tries to live his faith. Unlike the old man.

I doubt he would appreciate someone approaching him with negative comments about his appearance. It would probably hurt his feelings. He would likely get angry. He wouldn’t shrug it off at all. Yet he intentionally says something ugly and laughs it off.

It’s not okay. Why do we think our words don’t matter? Why do we believe we can explain our ugliness away as “just the way I am” moments? Because ugliness is never okay. Words hurt and destroy. There’s nothing casual about that.

It’s how we compartmentalize our lives. You can be ruthless in business because that’s just the way it’s done. You can slide by the rules of dishonesty because everyone does it. And you can speak your mind because, well, it’s your mind and you choose to share.

Whatever happened to personal responsibility? When did we decide it was okay to live like the world when we choose and claim Jesus as Savior when He’s needed? Faith doesn’t work that way. Faith says that we try our best to live our lives as Jesus called us to do in all things, at all times.

Yet we don’t. I’m not talking about those moments when we make mistakes and do things we later regret. We’re sinners, plain and simple. We mess up every single day. The difference, though, is understanding that we’ve done something wrong rather than trying to explain it away.

I’m not sure how to deal with someone who doesn’t know right from wrong. Prayer seems to be the only answer. I know I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be. I know I never will be, just as I know I will never have all the answers. But hurting someone’s feelings, intentionally, is just not okay.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Remember Why We Are Here

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. -- Habakkuk 3:17-18

Okay. It hurt my feelings. Really. It did. He was upset because people weren’t doing what they were told. And I was convenient. But, honestly, it wasn’t my fault.

I bit my tongue. Sort of. I reminded them that everyone had been told what to do -- twice. If they still failed to follow directions, I asked, what was I supposed to do? No answer.

That little, pitiful voice inside of me wanted to lash out. I wanted to remind him that I wasn’t being paid to hire and supervise drivers for him. I wanted to tell him how much time I spent doing it and to remind him that I also kept excellent payroll records to make his life easier. And I wanted to point out a few of his shortcomings of the morning. But I didn’t.

That didn’t stop Satan from toying with my mind the rest of the day. And the day after that. Satan kept reminding me that I’m unappreciated, that the man has no clue how valuable I am and all the times I’ve saved him money.

Then I remembered that none of that matters. God matters. And doing everything I do to the very best of my ability, regardless of the circumstances or attitudes of others, reflects on Him. Because I belong to God.

It’s not easy to remain silent. I don’t always. And sometimes words must be spoken because no one deserves abuse. But other times words are said in frustration and aren’t meant to be taken to heart. They shouldn’t have been said but they also shouldn’t be agonized over.

It’s called letting it go and moving on. Honestly, it’s not worth the time or effort. Continuing to think about them and refusing to let them go only gives Satan a foothold into your mind and your actions. And that always leads to trouble and destruction.

He is a good man. Kind most of the time. With a tremendous amount of pressure resting on his shoulders. I know all that. And knowing that makes it easier to let it go.

Not that it matters. Because we are here for His glory and not our own. Our lives, our actions and our words should reflect God’s light outward toward the world. Sometimes that means we must walk away when we really would rather give them what we think they deserve.