February 16, 2018

The Gift of Time

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Do you think if I paid her, she’d come to see us?” The question shocked me almost as much as the tears streaming down her face. She clutched a photo to her chest. Anguish lit her eyes.

What was I to say? The truth she didn’t want to hear or, well, the truth she didn’t want to hear?

I considered my words. “Probably,” I told her. “But you have to ask yourself that if you have to pay someone to come and see you, they probably aren’t worth the money.”

She nodded. “I know. I just miss her so much.”

My heart broke for her.

A sweet friend worked many years at a nursing home just over the state line. It wasn’t the illness and death that shredded her tender heart. Nor was it the loss of mental clarity by some residents that caused her anguish. No. It was the broken hearts of so many residents who longed for a call or visit from loved ones who never came.

But, she told me, just let that person come near death and the relatives would emerge, anguish spewing from their mouths. The thought of an inheritance would remind them of a love they hadn’t shown in years. Of course, if the crisis passed, they’d be gone again until the next time an emergency arose.

I’ve no doubt those scenarios play out in nursing homes, assisted living facilities and older homes everywhere. We have plenty of time for people so long as they are healthy and doing for us. They watch the children or take everyone out to eat. They are quick to pay for extras and always show up for sports, dance and recital events.

Then slowly they can’t do those things any longer. Their once abundant lives are fading and they find themselves alone for this last journey home. When do we get so busy that we can’t spend time with people who have loved us well?

Of course, it’s not always this way. One sweet woman lamented moving to be near her son and his family. She didn’t want to end up like her friends, alone in a new town. Her daughter-in-law is a jewel, something she shared with everyone. She made sure to include this woman in all the kids’ activities and brought those children by to see their grandmother several times each week. This elderly woman’s face lit with joy when she talked about how wonderful it was to be an active part of her son’s family.

No one expects to end up alone as their days on earth near the end. We think that surely those we have invested our time and money, our very hearts, into will be there. Surely, they love us as we have loved them? The answer will break your heart.

It’s not about us. Rick Warren wrote that many years ago. It’s still true. One day your busy life will fade away. All those important tasks that you think can’t wait will fall to someone else. You’ll be the one sitting alone waiting for someone to remember you with their precious gift of time.

Who do you need to call or visit today? Don’t wait. 

April 7, 2016

Choose Your Priorities

3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

 -- Ecclesiastes 3:3-8

We all have the same amount of time. Twenty-four hours in a day. Seven days in a week. Twelve months in a year. So why is it some people seem to have so much more time than others?

Time management? Maybe it’s not so much about time management as it is about priorities.

There are certain things we must do each day. Eat. Sleep. Work. Tend to children or parents. There are tasks that pile up if we’re not careful, like laundry and dishes and yard work. We can keep really busy being busy with the tasks of life.

And, in the end, what does it all matter?

I’m not suggesting chunk it all aside for a life of nothing. We must take care of the basics. But what happens when the basics interfere with the life we are called to lead?

We’re back to priorities. What is truly important? To me, spending time with God each day is like the breath of life in my body. I need it. I need Him. I can’t understand how so many people don’t have “time” to talk with God, to study the Bible, to thank Him for so many blessings each day.

That starts things off with my priorities in order. What next? People. It takes seconds to be kind. Open a door. Share a smile. Say “thank you.” Or take a few minutes and call someone who is hurting. Visit someone who is lonely. Give the gift of yourself. You’re the one who will be rewarded.

We all have the same amount of time each day. Use it to further God’s kingdom through your words and actions. Let God, then people, be your priorities and you’ll make a difference for eternity.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Seasons Change For Better and Worse

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Some seasons of life just don’t go as we planned. Maybe something unexpected happens. Maybe something we expected to enjoy turns into something we dislike. Maybe something or someone we loved ends or goes away and we find ourselves wondering where to go from here.

Each of us journeys through different seasons of our lives. Sometimes it isn’t so much what happens around us that shapes our lives as it is what happens within us as we cope with change.

One woman I knew longed for a baby. She and her husband were blessed not only with a healthy child but with being financially able for her to stay how with her child. She looked forward to days of bliss as she cared for her baby.

Until she was faced with endless days of -- in her mind -- nothingness. She loved her baby but she missed the stimulation that comes from being around adults and talking about things not related to babies. She missed the variety of a life that includes other things. So much to her surprise, she went back to work.

Critics were everywhere. Some working mothers couldn’t believe that someone who actually had a choice would choose work over staying at home. Others couldn’t understand how a mother would “abandon” her baby to daycare if she didn’t absolutely have to do so. Some went so far as to question her faith, as if God was telling her to stay home and Satan was telling her to go to work.

I won’t comment on her decision other than to ask a question: was her baby better off with a happy mother who delighted in time with her child or with a mother who was unhappy and resented the changes her baby had brought to her life? Decisions aren’t always easy and what God calls one person to do isn’t necessarily what He tells someone else to do.

Other changes aren’t choices. Some seasons are brought by nightmares, like the death of a child or spouse, like sudden unemployment or illness. We wake up one day only to find our entire life has shifted. We had no say in it but now we’re left to weather the storm’s aftermath. We will either grow closer to God, depending on His strength to carry us, or we will get caught up in anger and blame and never move past this season.

The ebb and flow of life is rarely easy. Few people are always content, always happy, always satisfied with just where they are. Sometimes we revel in quiet solitude and days spent growing closer to God. And sometimes we struggle to hear His voice, to see His wisdom, to feel His Presence and goodness in lives gone bad.

But He is always there. Always faithful. Always available to help us and guide us and lead us on to another season of our lives. God is good but He never promised an easy journey. In fact, the Bible tells us again and again of hardship and trial. What God did promise is to be with us on this journey, no matter what happens. That is a promise we can cling to, no matter the season of our lives.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Choose God

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven -- Ecclesiastes 3:1

If you're like most folks, you lead a very busy life. There's work and school, kids and parents, homework and housework and a spouse who needs time. We've got televisions and cell phones, Ipods and facebook, all in an effort to keep us entertained, informed and connected to the world. It's all so exhausting.

How much time out of that very busy day do you spend with God? It's almost comical. Here come the excuses. Something, or someone, always gets shoved ahead of God. Yeah, I get that a newborn baby has needs that won't wait. And work is something you gotta do if you're keep a roof over your head. But -- news flash -- if you've got time to watch TV or go to the mall, you've got plenty of time to spend with God.

It all comes down to priorities. A television show or an hour with God? An online chat with a friend or reading the Bible? One woman explained that she needed to drop out of a Bible study because she simply didn't have the time. Why? This stay-at-home grandmother found she was so busy running errands and doing daily chores that she couldn't spare an hour a week for a Bible study. How sad is that?

What if God treated us the way we treat Him? How would we feel if He was too busy to listen when we had a problem? How would we react if He couldn't be bothered when we were sick or grieving or alone? He would never leave us, of course. And He always has time for us. Doesn't that make you feel the least bit guilty when you don't make time for Him?

Everything good comes from God. He created us. He loves us more than we can ever imagine. How can we not choose to spend time with Him each day? It all starts with a choice. Your choice. Today. Choose God. You'll be glad you did.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Make Time For Family

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:" -- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Time. It's one of those things we never seem to have enough of. Our days, and even our nights, are scheduled to the max. Everything is rush, rush, rush. It seems there's no time to just laugh and enjoy the people around us.

Our family gathered to celebrate my Dad's 81st birthday. My cousins and I shared stories of the family gatherings of our childhoods. We played together and celebrated birthdays and holidays together. We grew up knowing and loving one another.

The same isn't true for the younger generation. They don't know one another and the fault lies squarely with those of us in the older generation. Time. We never seem to have time to get together, to eat and laugh and play games. We never seeem to just sit down and visit and share parts of our lives with one another. Yet, what is more important than time spent with people you love?

My Dad's sister was almost one year younger than he. Eight days separated the siblings. Their younger brothers came 13 and 15 years later. Aunt Verlon died from cancer back in 1994. Uncle Gene, whose laughter echoed through our family gatherings, followed three years later. My cousins, all busy with their families, became orphans. The family was never the same. It was Aunt Verlon who brought us all together.

My own parents are growing older and their health is starting to fade. I know God has blessed me in having them this long and in such good physical shape. It doesn't make this transition any easier. One cousin said she didn't know which was harder: loosing them too early or having to watch them waste away from age. Both are heartbreaking in their own way.

We have time for the things we value. We schedule sports events, hair appointments, shopping trips. Why don't we schedule time with family? Why do we wait for someone else to step up and bring the family together? Why do we take for granted the people we value the most?

There is a time for everything. The Bible says so. We have time for each other. We just have to reach out and grab it.