August 21, 2018

Gossip Destroys

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

– Proverbs 16:28

Our pastor calls it triangulation. One person talks negatively about another person. The person who hears the negative words then turns against the person being talked about. It doesn’t matter if the words are true or not. It destroys relationships. It destroys churches.

Can you imagine a church whose members refused to talk about anyone else except to build the person up? Can you imagine a church whose members prayed over those who were hurt, made a mistake, or didn’t measure up to the world’s standards?

It’s hard to imagine such a place, isn’t it? Do you know why? Because we aren’t certain such a church exists.

We call it church politics. All that behind the scenes maneuvering that puts the “right” people in the “right” positions to control what’s going on at the church. Pastors learn to step lightly lest they land on the toes of the wrong people. It’s not about doing what’s right. It’s about doing what’s politically correct within the church walls.

Gossip abounds. We call it “prayer requests.” We share all the sordid details, whether it’s an illness or a scandal. We just have to know it all in order to pray properly. Seriously?! God knows the details. And, honestly, how many of those listening to the requests will actually offer up fervent prayer for someone in need?

Have you ever had someone turn away from you for what seems like no reason only to find that someone else has spread lies about you? It’s a heartbreaking situation. There’s really nothing you can do. Once lies have been planted it’s impossible to erase their impact. You can get angry and turn vindictive. Or you can take your hurts to God and trust Him to handle it. He will. God hates gossip and slander.

Why do people gossip? I don’t know. Maybe it’s to focus on other people rather than themselves. It’s that voyeuristic side of us that fuels reality television. We tell ourselves that no matter how bad things are in our own lives, at least they aren’t as bad as in someone else’s life. It’s sad, isn’t it?

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. – Proverbs 26:20

We can be part of the cure. We can refuse to listen. We can walk away. We can change the subject. We can turn it immediately into prayer for both the person who is being talked about and the person doing the talking. The quickest way to stop gossip is to refuse to participate.